He stood there with me. He stood there with me silently, and without moving a muscle. He stood there, breathing the same air as me, in unison with the slight rising and falling of my chest. He didn't look at me; he didn't look at anything in particular. He just stood there, staring off into space in the same direction I was. We weren't touching, and yet, with his presence right there next to me, I felt like I was enveloped in the snuggest, tightest, safest hug in the world. He didn't make a noise, and yet, I felt like he was whispering "Everything is going to be alright. I love you." in my ear over and over and over again.
We stood there like that. Together. A minute. Four minutes. Eleven minutes. Fifteen minutes.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to run far away. I wanted to throw up.
But as he stood there with me, our arms draping lifelessly over the balcony, silent and still... A little part of my heart felt like it'd found refuge in the worst storm it'd ever been in. Serendipitously and miraculously, this little soul next to me and come in the nick of time and caught my little sinking, breaking heart. And this little soul knew exactly how to keep it from all a falling apart. He knew to do nothing.
No word, no action, no look that I have ever received in my life has made me feel half as safe and loved and supported as those fifteen minutes of still silence together did.
And so tonight, as more news rolled in, but answers didn't follow, I tried my best to be still and silent. I tried my best to get everyone to disappear and to make myself invisible but wholly present.
White light energy to Boston.
White light energy to my poor little hurting country.
<3
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