Today, for relatively the first time, I took matters into my own hands and gave out a huge dose of "classroom management" tough-love.
It was thrilling and petrifying (okay, but mostly thrilling). Honestly, I had no idea I had it in me until the stern words were coming out of my mouth. Nobody really prepares a girl for the fact that teaching is 95% impromptu decision making. Maybe it's not supposed to be (if your class plans are really great for that particular day and/or you have some serious experience under your belt), but so far as I've seen, it totally seems to be that way when it comes to classroom management.
Here's what happened: There's this one 6th grade class that is always talking over each other and shouting and being ridiculous and giggling and taking nothing seriously. It's my class with the teacher who I really enjoy but who's always screaming at her kids. At least when I'm in the room, it never really works out and everybody gets even wilder and more zoo-animal-like. Today she informed the class that their product idea for their Junior Acheivement (make-your-own-business) project was, to be blunt, horrible. They wanted to make balloon animals. Like, seriously? It's hard to have to lead these six classes where all the kids are so uncreative and can only come up with ideas like cookies, cakes, lemonade, balloon animals (!?!?!?), etc. If this were my project, I'd be all over Pinterest on the DIY tab. It'd get crazy into it. I'd be making rugs, I'd be making customized earbuds, I'd be making scarves. I'd go all out! I would love this shit! But no, these kids can only think of LEMONADE. It's the first side-effect I'm seeing of this younger generation with their easy access to video games, iPads, computers, etc. They have NO IMAGINATION. AT ALL. >_< UGH!!!
Anyway, after they were informed that their idea basically SUCKED, they were told to brainstorm new ideas. All at once they began to shout out more awful ideas. The whole class started trying to scream over each other. Nobody was speaking English. It was a disaster. I tried to wait for them to shut the eff up, but they wouldn't stop. I proceeded to yell over them to inform them that any idea I heard would not be written on the board and would become void from the project ideas list. This actually got them to be quiet. THANK GOODNESS.
A few minutes later when I asked to hear their (still awful) ideas, I got three or four real ones before people started coming up to the board saying they needed to draw their object to explain it in English, but then started drawing things like Indian snake whisperers (or whatever that is - where a guy plays a flute and the snake dances) or saying they should be statues and have people give them money for standing still or singing to them. These ideas just got worse and worse and more and more ridiculous and off topic (the point is the product must be a HANDMADE THING - not entertainment... not that their ideas were even entertaining...). I gave up and let them all continue like this to see how long they could possibly continue wasting their own time. Only one girl (my obvious fave of the class) kept raising her hand, asking me what the final decision would be and how we could proceed. The rest? Wild beasts. And so I waited. I waited roughly 35 minutes before there was a moment of silence in the class and they were all finally looking at me. And then it happened:
"Oh. Well that's nice. It only took you all 35 minutes to stop talking. It only took you 35 minutes to realize I was waiting for your attention. It only took you 35 minutes to look over at your teacher. You just wasted my time, your own time, and especially the time of your fellow student right here who has been asking the whole time how to move forward with the project. Your disrespect is overwhelming. I don't appreciate your lack of respect for me one bit."
They all stared at me, some jaws dropped slightly, and were completely silent.
"Get out your notebooks. It's time for a dictation."
Instantly they began complaining. "Can't you give us another chance!?" "We'll be better!" etc.
"Thirty five minutes wasn't a long enough chance for you?"
Again, the stared at me and were completely silent.
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too. I'm about ready to never return to this class, to make sure you never do this project and to let you continue with your book activities instead. That's how disrespected I feel. So no, you do not get another chance. You had thirty five minutes and all you did was waste your time and mine."
Silence (and might I say, this is the longest I have EVER seen this class silent or paying attention).
"From now on, I expect two things of you: to speak in English and to have only one person talking at a time, who may only speak after raising their hand and being called on. Are these two expectations fair to you?"
A unaimous "Yes" was uttered meekly from each student.
"Are you sure? I'm open to suggestions."
"Yes."
"Okay. Open your notebooks for a dictation."
They wanted to whine, but they'd realized it might not be worth it this time to even try. I proceeded to have them write the following in their notebooks, "From this day on, I will speak English in this class and I will only speak when it is my turn to talk. I realize there will be no more project if I do not do these things. I am responsible for my own actions and I believe this is fair."
I had them read their dictation after I said it and had them sign it. I then asked what two things were to be expected from them in the next class and the classes afterwards and each person said them. I told them we would be reading this page of their notebooks every day at the beginning of class to remind them of the class expectations until they could remember it on their own.
Whoa.
It was a way weird thing for me to do, but one of those things where it's been bubbling and I've been waiting for a teacher to be totally immersed in their own world of correcting so I can catch them off guard to and just let lose. ;) The next part will be sticking to this new order, but we'll see how that goes as it happens. I'm learning very quickly now that classroom management (my online course for the month) has a currency, and that currency is figuring out what the hell the kids want and then threatening to either take it away if they're bad or give them it if they're good. I don't remember my teachers ever being like that. Maybe it's 'cause my classes never seemed to have misbehaving kids because they were advanced enough to not have that problem. Or maybe I was too young when it happened to remember it. Or, more likely, it's something that's only a tool for newbie teachers. Whatever the reason, the truth is that it seems to be working for those who are little poop heads and I want to bop on the nose until they stop being such turds.
The rest of the day seemed like cake from that point on. My 4th graders had taken me seriously when I told them I'd give them a surprise if they could memorize Eenie Meenie Miney Moe. As soon as I walked in the room they all sang it in unison and were SO proud of themselves, it was adorable. I ran back to the teacher's office and gave them each a shiny Target sticker. I wasn't sure they'd like the "surprise" but they all gasped and could hardly contain their excitement! Cute! :) My 1st graders were pleased as punch to draw Halloween words and color a picture. My tutoring session after school was a hoot and the little boy is so adorable and smart. He knows Chelsea time is only in English and when he accidentally says something in Spanish I say, "What?" (partly 'cause I actually don't understand what he's saying) and he throws his hands over his eyes and says, "Oh! >_<" and then finds the right words in English or asks. So. Adorable. We made his mom glitter glue art and played with smurfs and stuffed animals. Awesome. Pretty sure I have as much fun as he does. HAHA.
The rest of my night was Cupcake Madrid, PaPizza and Tango Tuesday. :)
XOXO
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