I had been way curious as to how the 5th and 6th grade classes I substituted for on Friday would behave when I came this week, this time with their teacher in the room again. Usually Tuesdays are one of my least favorite days, and it's precisely because I have these two classes on Tuesdays. And so I went into it with no expectations - either they'd continue their sweet behavior, or it'd all be over and they'd be back to their relative chaos. Either way, things would be different. After last Friday, I saw each and every one of them differently. My respect for them had grown greatly, and instead of just seeing a bunch of zoo animals, I saw really clever and sweet kids. No matter how they acted when I got to class, I would continue knowing their secret - that underneath their sometimes obnoxious exterior, they were all totally awesome... It just took a way crazy teacher willing to thrill them and respect them and talk to them on their level.
I guess you could say I was surprised when I got to class and they were all excited to see me again and all quietly sitting in the seats smiling at me. I guess I was surprised too when they didn't get yelled at the whole class long because they were actually behaving. Hell yeah, 5th graders. That one girl in the corner didn't cry today, either - plus, not only did she do the assignment for a change, but she also drew a cute polar bear on the assignment! Awesome!
And the 6th graders? Well, things started off great. They kept telling Sara how funny I was and asked if I could teach them more science (Bahaha - what? They're ASKING to learn science, now? Their previous foe of a subject!?). When we did classwork together, the usual suspects weren't quite behaving - but in different ways than normal. One was actually telling the students to be quieter so he could listen to be better (uh, whoa!)... another didn't do the assignment quite fully, but nor did he get out of his seat, start yelling nor start drawing on the chalkboard... and the other admitted to not paying attention and quickly asked to be caught up when he realized it.
What. The. Hell. Did. I. Do. To. These. Kids?!?!?!
During work time they asked if I would put on music again and I agreed. They got their assignment done, and a few of them asked me a few questions and told me how they'd downloaded and listened to some of the music from last class. :) Awesome! The over all feeling of the class was so chill and respectful. It was a total change from how things have been in the previous five months. Suddenly I'm not talking at them, but talking with them. I think the thing they really appreciated was when I tell them I think an exercise is lame, too, but it's one of those dumb things we just gotta get through. I don't think teachers do that sort of thing - but why not?! A lame exercise is a lame exercise. No use lying about it! Let em know you understand where they're coming from and they'll happily do it as fast as they can and as accurately as they can, if only because they feel validated.
And then the last ten minutes of class happened.
>_<
Now, after having been the sole adult in charge last Friday, I saw that they were mostly finished and were boarderline antsy. My idea was to play them a song for the last ten minutes to reward them for a job well done and have them write the lyrics. I loved this listening activity in my DUHS Spanish class! But the teacher told them to read their work aloud, instead. Once a group of kids reaches the point of antsiness, one person speaking at a time is just not going to happen successfully. And it didn't.
It really wasn't their fault. They'd held it together and been good and now they were bored gosh darnit. I woulda been, too, had I been them. But one by one they started talking to each other in Spanish, getting out of their seats, and being a bit disruptive. Not disrespectful disruptive, just nothing left to do and bored disruptive. So instead of transitioning, the teacher just starts yelling at them. She takes away two kids' recesses. This obviously posses them off, so they continue. Then she doubles the entire class' homework, and continues adding more lines to the assignment as they continue talking because they literally have nothing better to be doing.
>_<
I felt SO BAD for those tiny turd muffins - especially one of the disruptive but clearly intelligent ones who got triple the homework assigned to him. You can just see it on their faces - the hopelessness and unfairness and inevitableness of it all. Learning is not fun in this class. Learning is a punishment. (Self expression is a negative. Creativity is a negative.)
And learning should never, ever be a punishment. Learning should always, always be a joy.
:-/
I wanted to run back in the room after she and I left and tell them, "Don't listen to her! You guys are awesome! Eff the extra homework! Protest! Take a stand! I'll back you!"
This whole teacher thing is quite the journey - ESPECIALLY for such an introspective person such as myself. One day I think I have it, and the next I think I am an absolute disaster, ruining these poor kids' educational opportunities! In my current online Master's course, we have a support group we write in every week - both about our successes and our failures. At first, I thought the idea was ridiculous. But at this point, it is my most favorite part of the whole program. Every week the five of us respond to each other's post and give support or encouragement or congratulations. It's truly nice to not feel alone!
Last week, I wrote about how I felt like a failure because I couldn't get the students' attention very often and how I gave the younger ones coloring sheets just to keep the class from being a zoo. I wrote about how I felt like I was only as successful as half the success rate of the current teacher in the classroom, and that if I ever did this on my own, it'd just be a colossal disaster. I said I didn't think I was harsh enough to discipline or gain respect... And that I was too all over the place to form sound lesson plans. The basic gist of it was, I suck - what am I doing!?
The students in my group wrote me with supportive comments, but the thing that really made me think twice was the teacher's comment on my post. It was the first comment I'd seen her write on anybody's post the whole class (I didn't even know she was reading them!), and so I quickly read it.
"Chelsea, what I am hearing most of all is how much you care about what you are doing, and that can not be undervalued, although it is true that what we often take as personal, is not.
As for this "Amazing" teacher....not so much, in my humble opinion. "Powerful" and "punishing" does not equal "amazing"...and the ends does not always justify the means....6 year olds should NOT miss recess because they forgot a pencil (parents should be reminded that their young children need the pencil) and there is no logical connection between the so called "crime" (which it is not even a minimal offense) and "punishment." And there is nothing proud or amazing about making a child cry. Kids cry and that is okay sometimes, but no teacher should be praised for making them do so.
Sorry if I have reacted strongly to your description of her. From the other types of activities and and moments you have described in this conference group and in your other work for this class, sounds like this teacher could learn a lot from you!"
A warm, squishy feeling filled me and I beamed. The lady was right; I truly do care about these little beings and want them to be successful and love English and feel happy and supported and respected.
After watching the short movie (also assigned go me by this teacher) about the Chinese/English bilingual preschool and elementary school in some city in the US and how they taught two languages simultaneously by using Buddhist philosophies of love and respect, I thought to myself, "This is the kind of teacher I want to be." In the movie the teachers said how they never force children to speak in Chinese during Chinese time, but how, over time, the children just become accustomed to it and enjoy Chinese time just as much of not more because it is fun. :)
In the past week since seeing that movie, I've been conscious of not telling students to speak in English, but instead to smile at them when they do and wait until they'd switch themselves, and then carry on the conversation normally without correcting or making them feel pressured. I fill in words and repeat an incorrect sentence correctly, but as if I am repeating their question to myself to think about it - not to show them their error. I've made lots of new student friends doing it this way this week!
XOXO
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