Day 176: Doubleplus

Today I celebrate being in a foreign country for exactly twice as long as my previous record.

My Spanish Summer of 2011 adventure lasted 88 days - but it felt like much, much longer. Everything was constantly new and exciting, which made time bend in a strange and wonderful way. Each day when I'd sit down to blog, I'd feel like I had just lived three days in one 24 hour span!

But life now - despite being in a foreign country - has its routine down pat. Wake up. Go to school. Teach. Go to after school lessons. Teach. Public transportation time home. Talk to roomies. Eat. Unwind. Rinse. Repeat.

I love my schedule, but it's not something I could keep up forever. I don't understand how the majority of the world's population can pick a profession and stick with it, in the same town, with the same people, day after day. It reminds me of a passage from a book called "The Mermaid Chair" (which, if I'm being honest, was actually a really awful book, but this one quote made up for it):

"I could even feel how perishable all my moments really were, how all my life they had come to me begging to be lived, to be cherished even, and the impassive way I’d treated them."

Surely there are careers that can make a person feel alive every day for the rest of their life... But I'd have to think these types of jobs are relatively few and far between. And so my solution is that, until I find one such job, I shall cheat the system and just keep jetsetting to a new place with new people and a new job. :) It's like I've found a loophole in the system. ;)

I remember back in middle school when Amanda and I used to discuss how life was just be born, go to school, get a job, marry, have kids, die. We always felt it was a very constraining sort of thing that was expected from us and we'd try to devise ways to get out of it. We didn't want to be bullied into a "normal" life - we wanted a crazy, adventurous one full of wonder.

Maybe it was "child's talk," but based on being around so many children a day, I'd have to say child's talk is way often more intelligent, insightful and creative than adult talk. It's like the Little Prince says - Adults don't understand much. You have to explain things to them a lot, and sometimes they still don't understand. ^_^

If there's one thing I've learned about myself in my 176 days I've been on this adventure - the longest adventure of my life - it's this: I am far from being an "adult."

And I couldn't be prouder. ;)

So while my friends are getting married and having babies and worrying about their career paths, I'll be sitting here, coloring and singing songs with little kids, pondering the next country I want to jetset to.

XOXO

Day 175: Steak & Potatoes

Honestly, Mondays just aren't my thing. I have seven classes, and besides the adorable Juniors, it's a pretty lackluster lineup. I have to feign enthusiasm (if I can bring myself to do so) and deal with my least favorite class. I guess I can't really complain, as it's the only day of the week I'm not pumped about life... But still. Eh. And today I didn't even get my dose of Bach boys and girl at all! :(

My only real news of the day is that I decided today would be a good day to make a gourmet meal for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I felt like it.

Katie and I went to Carrefour together and I went crazy. I spent an hour in the kitchen with all my groceries and prepared steak, garlic cheesy mashed potatoes (God I wish mine ever tasted half as good as J's... I wonder if there is anything stupid like that she ever misses about me!?) and sautéed mushrooms. It wasn't the most incredible meal ever, but I was pretty satisfied by the end and celebrated my success with half a pack of double stuffed Oreos and horchata! :)

One thing I'm starting to really notice is how my taste in food is changing... And it's kinda freaking me out, to be honest. Whereas six months ago Oreos would have never been considered a viable option for dessert, now I pair them with a little cream cheese and a bottle of horchata and it's absolutely a delicious treat! Or I go to lunch and get excited when it's fried eggs with french fries (I dip the French fries in the yolk and it's sooo good)... Or when it's paella... Or when it's battered, flavorless fish (which I squeeze copious amounts of lemon on)... Or when it's super soggy pasta. Fresh bread makes the best snack in the world with a little honey goat cheese on it (bonus is if I have fresh broccoli with Ranch on the side). And lately? My dinner on the run has been a smoked salmon sandwich with cream cheese and hard boiled eggs, with an Orange Fanta (bonus if I remember to bring sea salt and balsamic vinegar chips with me) from a cheap little restaurant by where I work in Madrid at night. Melon is the most exciting dessert I have ever seen, I do a happy dance if there's coconut yogurt for dessert after lunch and it feels wrong to eat a brownie without strawberries or raspberries on it, now that they're back in season. I only drink water with lunch, and always drink wine with dinner.

My taste buds and tummy have officially adjusted to Spanish cuisine, and it's royally petrifying. But, at the same time, much healthier and has made me lose 15 lbs. on accident... So I guess I'm not exactly complaining. But when I think of how much food, and how diverse and flavorful the food J and I ate last year every day was... I miss it a lot and I miss is not at all at the same time. I know it was more delicious and exciting, but the food here is so incredibly cheap, and so much better for you... And because it's not a party in your mouth every time you dine, you suddenly stop having the desire to eat unless you truly are hungry. And I kinda think that's how food was originally meant to be. Sure, I splurge on Thai thom-kha soup once a month, and I go to the French cookie bakery every week or two. I do make yummy meals at home, also... But it's just... Different. And what's more is... I like it this way. o_O

Don't get me wrong - as soon as I go back to the US, I'm sure to eat every chocolate chip pancake and CPK salad and Cheesecake Factory stuffed mushroom and bowl of phô and piece of sushi I can get my hands on... But for now, I'm blissfully ignorant of the tasty food I'm missing out on in America, and quite happy with the seemingly strange food I've come to enjoy here, that 2011 Chelsea would have gagged at the thought of!

XOXO

Weekend 173-174: Bad Pigs and Holy Wienerschnitzels

At the beginning of the week, a girl in my program had posted on our group's Facebook wall, asking if anybody was interested in going skiing with her that upcoming weekend. Originally, I had brushed off the post, but after I got to thinking about it, I figured, "Why not?!" My past few weekends have consisted of a bit of cachaca and a lot of being lazy... and that's just not the kind of girl I pride myself on being. I claim to be so adventurous and wanderlust, and I figured it was time to live up to that image of myself for a change!

I'd considered asking NBF all week, but I've never been one to invite others to do things, and so I kept putting it off. And so you can imagine my surprise when I got a txt from him Friday afternoon, asking if I'd like to go skiing on Saturday!! O_O

Whoa.

After serious metro circles and running every which way to get the next train/bus leaving for the mountains, we finally ended up on the proper train around 10 am (never have I been awake so early on a Saturday morning that I did not have class on). All that running and all those circles had made me famished, and so I was more than delightfully surprised when, seemingly out of nowhere, my newest favorite cookies appeared in my lap, along with a beverage that tasted almost exactly like Odwalla's Mango Tango smoothies!!! ^_^

An hour and a half and lots of Bad Pigs (it's an app) later, we were to the next train... only, there was no next train. Turned out, a tree had fallen on the train tracks the night before and they still hadn't managed to get things back up and running. >_<

The next hour was comprised of us waiting for a bus that (we realized embarassingly much later) didn't run on weekends at all, walking in the wrong direction (but in the right direction of the coldest, snowiest wind I've experienced since Wisconsin!) for a good 15 minutes and, finally, going on a very zig-zaggy (and sometimes icy) "straight" shot into town. The cutest part of the totally tiny, two street down? A really jolly looking statue, in honor of Spanish gold medalists (I think?). Haha.

 

We had a really yummy Spanish lunch (fried egg, french fries, "lomo," pepper things that tasted like okra - pretty standard Spanish faire - which I'm authentically starting to enjoy... which is, of course, starting to really freak me out), complete with homemade ham broth (it was so delicious, and the perfect thing with fresh bread, considering how chilly it was outside!), before we turned around and headed back to see if there was any news on the train yet.

As it turned out, there wasn't. By this point it was 1pm and we'd had missed half the skiing day anyway, so we decided to catch a train back in the general direction of home.

Although skiing didn't happen this go around, I absolutely loved the ridiculous adventure. As the morning went on, more circles were walked in, we began to freeze, and things weren't going any smoother... but we maintained our chipper spirits of adventure endured. It became totally obvious by 1 pm that we were both experienced travelers, and it made me start to giggle.

Throw 75% of people I know in that Saturday morning and they would have been whinning, complaining, begging to go straight back, out of the cold. They would have been angry at the train, angry at the situation and generally unpleasant to be around. But him and me? Our most frequent display of emotion was sticking out our tounge and crossing our eyes, ready to continue going with the flow of it all.

There's a Lao Tzu quote that goes, "A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving." If that's the definition of a "good traveler," then let me just say that NBF and I are BAMF level "good travelers"!! ;)

 Which brings me to this: I find the quality to be able to go with the flow and to always find a hint of magic and gratitude in no matter what happens... to be flexible and able to giggle about things... to be divinely curious and adventurous... I find all of THAT (I wish there were one word for all of THAT) to be one of the qualities I most admire and adore in myself, as a well as one of the main qualities I admire and adore in others.

Sometimes getting lost or going off course turns out to be even better than the original destination. Sometimes it's just about exploring and doing something different. Sometimes it's just about being spontaneous and open. And I don't think there are a whole lot of people who are able to grasp that.

Another thing that made the silly adventure so nice was that it was the first time in two years I'd been on any sort of adventure with a guy, and I'd totally forgotten what it was like. Guys on the whole are so much more easy going. With girls, I feel like it's easy to have one come out as the dominant travel partner, but with a guy, you're pretty much just equals in the whole thing. Whereas a girl would have sat there and argued with me when I said that the train that was about to leave was heading in the direction we needed, a boy looks at me for a second, doubting me, but starts running for it anyway! :) What's the worst that can happen? I'm wrong and they get to make fun of me for it for forever? Haha. ;)

My suggestion was, instead of going back home after all of this traveling, to find another place to visit for the afternoon that was relatively nearby. He proposed El Escorial and I jumped at it. It's one of those places that you always hear about as being so wonderful and famous, but one that always receives humdrum reviews. But, we were close, and it was probably the only time I'd ever actually get my butt there. And afterall, what else were we going to do? Watch TV for the rest of the day? That's exactly what I'd gone on this adventure to avoid!!!

As it turned out, El Escorial WAS pretty dull. I mean, the building was massive and quite impressive, and some of the art was very nice.

I especially liked the mini organ they had in one room, and a painting that had a white little floofy dog with a small fly painted on his butt! :) But, despite how relatively dull the place was, I had a hoot, thanks entirely to my strange personality and my company.

On the train we'd been playing a round of Bad Pigs in which you have to find skulls hidden around all of the levels. When we got to the painting section of El Escorial, he spotted a skull in the corner of a canvas and whispered over to me, "Bad Pigs!" and pointed, smiling.

Um, adorable.

It was like a scene you'd see in some cute/strange Jennifer Lawrence movie. ;)

We continued the game for the entirety of our stay (he won - 5/4), and also added a few items to our search list. It was like playing a not-so-grown-up grown up version of "Where's Waldo," but in a giant museum/monastary/palace in Spain. But jeeze, you can bet we scrutinized every single painting that was hanging in that place!! ;)

As we walked along, I'd point out small details that amused me and he'd always come over and investigate them, a small smirk apparent on his face, too. Never have I had such an equally matched museum goer accompany me to something that should have felt a bit tedious a dry, but made me feel so delighted and silly! <3

A few hours later when we finally got through the maze of the place and were back out in the bitter cold, I off-handedly remarked that all I wanted in that moment was a mug of hot chocolate. And just like that, five minutes later we'd found ourselves in a bar, with two mugs of hot chocolate in front of us and a slice of cake.

^_^ Hell yes.

Another hour of a train ride spent playing Bad Pigs and we were finally back in Madrid proper. While the whole skiing thing was a huge bust, I secretly was happy the day had turned out the way it had. All day I'd felt so indescribably free to just be my silly, chill, happy, adventurous, random self. And all day I was so grateful to be around someone who - despite everything going about as wrong as it could have, considering our original mission - was good humored and superb at going with the flow.

XOXO

Day 172: TGIF

Fridays are honestly kinda a joke. I sit at school for an hour, go to 3rd grade for an hour (where I spend five minutes giving them a project, and spend the rest of the time talking to their teacher), go to 10th grade for 45 minutes (where they always are working on some BS "project," and so I sit there an Pinterest) and I'm done. Not that I'm complaining - not at all!

I used my free afternoon to finally get new contacts and fix my glasses. To reward myself for such a long-feared outing, I promply put on my pjs and napped for the rest of the afternoon.

^_^

My roommates are in super "must find an Adult Job" mode at the moment - researching, submitting applications and resumes, etc. But me? I don't see the rush. I like working four days per week, and having a day to nap. :) I like living in Europe. I like feeling like I'm making a life that others could only dream of.

And then there's them - and sometimes they just seem like they can't get back home fast enough.

It's not a bad thing. To each their own. It just reinforces for me that I truly am right where I should be, and I should keep up the adventure on my own. :) When you are a kid and just want to be a grown up, people always tell you to enjoy your childhood while you still have it. Well, I think the same could be said for your early 20's. What's with all these people rushing into getting married, having children and getting grown up jobs? It'll all happen soon enough... but for now I'm happy with this divine loophole I've found. And I, for one, am not just about to give it up!

XOXO

Day 171: Changing the Future of ESL Learning? ;)

I just had an inspired idea...

I've always wanted to be a writer. I've always wanted to travel. I've always been interested in languages. I'm really enjoying teaching and think that I have a unique manner of teaching.

So what if I became an English textbook writer? I could do my Master's dissertation on ESL textbooks and I would begin to write my own, based off of my teaching experience thus far... And I could continue writing it and refining it for the next few years while I teach and travel.

But my book would be far different than the books being used today. I'm not altogether quite sure how yet... But if would be different. More fun, more colorful, more imaginative. More like a game.

I just keep thinking about the Ani lyrics: "All of this was just someone's idea - it could just as well have been mine." I know this is going to turn out to be something significant in what I do... I just don't quite know how yet. :)

In other news, the girls were completely hilarious and adorable tonight. I love hanging out in the kitchen with them and talking and talking and giggling. ^_^ We sat there for hours just doing what we do. Being with them and forgetting everything else for those few hours makes me so happy. It's totally what friendship is meant to be. :) Sometimes after one of our little bonding moments, I think about the Suicide Girl phrase, "One day you'll be nostalgic for now." and can feel how very true it is in that moment. One day - in just a few months - I'll be living with some other people and I'll long for those two girls and Katie with her freckles and giggly face when she is dropping her fruits and veggies all over the kitchen floor after masterfully peeling them, and Abby with our late night giggles and conversations and Sunday night roomie dates and occasionally scandalous weekend outings... They both just make me feel like I'm really at home here. <3

XOXO

Day 170: Gratitude

A few things I love about my job:
1) I love that every single teacher and student treats me as if I am just another teacher, even though I'm technically a student teacher/auxiliary. I'm always referred to as the English Conversation Professor and I adore it. I also love how silly the male teachers are and how they're always singing and dancing and making me giggle! And how sweet the female teachers are and are always willing to help me or make me smile. :) I feel super accepted for who I am by all of them!
2) I love that even six months later, all of the younger kids still yell my name when I enter their classroom and their faces light up and they begin cheering. ^_^
3) I love that my director is so chill and nice. I love how she seems genuinely happy to see me each day and I LOVE when she calls me "¡Chelseachi!" ^_^
4) I love having complete freedom to teach whatever I want, using any method I want and assigning whatever I want. I love that they trust and respect me enough to continue to allow me to do so, and I love the teachers' giggles and smiles during my classes, too!
5) I absolutely LOVE coming back from lunch each afternoon and becoming a child magnet. Each afternoon I get SWARMED by kids who run up and hug me and all want to tell me or show me something new and exciting in their lives. It's adorable to listen to them switch from their recess time in Spanish to talking to me in English. ^_^ I don't think I've ever felt as purely and innocently adored as these kids make me feel every single afternoon after lunch. <3 And what's more is, I'm the only teacher they do it to. *warm, gushy feeling* ^_^
6) I love those "real moments" I have with some students in which I hang out and talk to them like a friend. I love when I tell them their textbook is lame and they all laugh because it's too true... or when we exchange new music suggestions and start developing inside jokes... or when someone runs up to me and tells me something that happened they think will amuse me. I love that I'm not the average teacher who comes across as superior than her students, but instead comes across as real, sincere, caring and unique. I can tell I make some of these kids' days on the day we have class together and I feel so grateful to be the reason they're giggling or smiling... And added bonus that they're learning something from me, too! ;) I can't tell you how many times kids have told me that their whole class adores me and wishes I would come everyday. <3 Sure, I give them fun projects because I can... But I'm fairly confident even with a set curriculum I'd be pretty awesome, too. ;)

Day 169: More Proof I Don't Suck at Teacherdom

I had been way curious as to how the 5th and 6th grade classes I substituted for on Friday would behave when I came this week, this time with their teacher in the room again. Usually Tuesdays are one of my least favorite days, and it's precisely because I have these two classes on Tuesdays. And so I went into it with no expectations - either they'd continue their sweet behavior, or it'd all be over and they'd be back to their relative chaos. Either way, things would be different. After last Friday, I saw each and every one of them differently. My respect for them had grown greatly, and instead of just seeing a bunch of zoo animals, I saw really clever and sweet kids. No matter how they acted when I got to class, I would continue knowing their secret - that underneath their sometimes obnoxious exterior, they were all totally awesome... It just took a way crazy teacher willing to thrill them and respect them and talk to them on their level.

I guess you could say I was surprised when I got to class and they were all excited to see me again and all quietly sitting in the seats smiling at me. I guess I was surprised too when they didn't get yelled at the whole class long because they were actually behaving. Hell yeah, 5th graders. That one girl in the corner didn't cry today, either - plus, not only did she do the assignment for a change, but she also drew a cute polar bear on the assignment! Awesome!

And the 6th graders? Well, things started off great. They kept telling Sara how funny I was and asked if I could teach them more science (Bahaha - what? They're ASKING to learn science, now? Their previous foe of a subject!?). When we did classwork together, the usual suspects weren't quite behaving - but in different ways than normal. One was actually telling the students to be quieter so he could listen to be better (uh, whoa!)... another didn't do the assignment quite fully, but nor did he get out of his seat, start yelling nor start drawing on the chalkboard... and the other admitted to not paying attention and quickly asked to be caught up when he realized it.

What. The. Hell. Did. I. Do. To. These. Kids?!?!?!

During work time they asked if I would put on music again and I agreed. They got their assignment done, and a few of them asked me a few questions and told me how they'd downloaded and listened to some of the music from last class. :) Awesome! The over all feeling of the class was so chill and respectful. It was a total change from how things have been in the previous five months. Suddenly I'm not talking at them, but talking with them. I think the thing they really appreciated was when I tell them I think an exercise is lame, too, but it's one of those dumb things we just gotta get through. I don't think teachers do that sort of thing - but why not?! A lame exercise is a lame exercise. No use lying about it! Let em know you understand where they're coming from and they'll happily do it as fast as they can and as accurately as they can, if only because they feel validated.

And then the last ten minutes of class happened.

>_<

Now, after having been the sole adult in charge last Friday, I saw that they were mostly finished and were boarderline antsy. My idea was to play them a song for the last ten minutes to reward them for a job well done and have them write the lyrics. I loved this listening activity in my DUHS Spanish class! But the teacher told them to read their work aloud, instead. Once a group of kids reaches the point of antsiness, one person speaking at a time is just not going to happen successfully. And it didn't.

It really wasn't their fault. They'd held it together and been good and now they were bored gosh darnit. I woulda been, too, had I been them. But one by one they started talking to each other in Spanish, getting out of their seats, and being a bit disruptive. Not disrespectful disruptive, just nothing left to do and bored disruptive. So instead of transitioning, the teacher just starts yelling at them. She takes away two kids' recesses. This obviously posses them off, so they continue. Then she doubles the entire class' homework, and continues adding more lines to the assignment as they continue talking because they literally have nothing better to be doing.

>_<

I felt SO BAD for those tiny turd muffins - especially one of the disruptive but clearly intelligent ones who got triple the homework assigned to him. You can just see it on their faces - the hopelessness and unfairness and inevitableness of it all. Learning is not fun in this class. Learning is a punishment. (Self expression is a negative. Creativity is a negative.)

And learning should never, ever be a punishment. Learning should always, always be a joy.

:-/

I wanted to run back in the room after she and I left and tell them, "Don't listen to her! You guys are awesome! Eff the extra homework! Protest! Take a stand! I'll back you!"


This whole teacher thing is quite the journey - ESPECIALLY for such an introspective person such as myself. One day I think I have it, and the next I think I am an absolute disaster, ruining these poor kids' educational opportunities! In my current online Master's course, we have a support group we write in every week - both about our successes and our failures. At first, I thought the idea was ridiculous. But at this point, it is my most favorite part of the whole program. Every week the five of us respond to each other's post and give support or encouragement or congratulations. It's truly nice to not feel alone!

Last week, I wrote about how I felt like a failure because I couldn't get the students' attention very often and how I gave the younger ones coloring sheets just to keep the class from being a zoo. I wrote about how I felt like I was only as successful as half the success rate of the current teacher in the classroom, and that if I ever did this on my own, it'd just be a colossal disaster. I said I didn't think I was harsh enough to discipline or gain respect... And that I was too all over the place to form sound lesson plans. The basic gist of it was, I suck - what am I doing!?

The students in my group wrote me with supportive comments, but the thing that really made me think twice was the teacher's comment on my post. It was the first comment I'd seen her write on anybody's post the whole class (I didn't even know she was reading them!), and so I quickly read it.

"Chelsea, what I am hearing most of all is how much you care about what you are doing, and that can not be undervalued, although it is true that what we often take as personal, is not.
As for this "Amazing" teacher....not so much, in my humble opinion. "Powerful" and "punishing" does not equal "amazing"...and the ends does not always justify the means....6 year olds should NOT miss recess because they forgot a pencil (parents should be reminded that their young children need the pencil) and there is no logical connection between the so called "crime" (which it is not even a minimal offense) and "punishment." And there is nothing proud or amazing about making a child cry. Kids cry and that is okay sometimes, but no teacher should be praised for making them do so.
Sorry if I have reacted strongly to your description of her. From the other types of activities and and moments you have described in this conference group and in your other work for this class, sounds like this teacher could learn a lot from you!"

A warm, squishy feeling filled me and I beamed. The lady was right; I truly do care about these little beings and want them to be successful and love English and feel happy and supported and respected.

After watching the short movie (also assigned go me by this teacher) about the Chinese/English bilingual preschool and elementary school in some city in the US and how they taught two languages simultaneously by using Buddhist philosophies of love and respect, I thought to myself, "This is the kind of teacher I want to be." In the movie the teachers said how they never force children to speak in Chinese during Chinese time, but how, over time, the children just become accustomed to it and enjoy Chinese time just as much of not more because it is fun. :)

In the past week since seeing that movie, I've been conscious of not telling students to speak in English, but instead to smile at them when they do and wait until they'd switch themselves, and then carry on the conversation normally without correcting or making them feel pressured. I fill in words and repeat an incorrect sentence correctly, but as if I am repeating their question to myself to think about it - not to show them their error. I've made lots of new student friends doing it this way this week!

XOXO

Day 168: Readership

As if trying to top his opening Monday morning remark from last week, Favorite Student greeted my sleepy ass with an enthusiastic, "Oh, hey, Chelsea! I read your blog this weekend!"

And just like that, I was suddenly wide awake.

What!?!

"Really?" I laughed, hoping he was joking. I had written the name of my blog on the board like my first or second week at the school in early September. Certainly by now everybody in that class had forgotten about it, or, at least, had lost the piece of scratch paper they'd written the name down on. Right??

"Yeah! Well, only the one entry. But, I'm glad I'm your favorite student!"

Awww... Muffins. >_<

Up until Saturday I had honestly, honestly, HONESTLY thought only my parents, and occasionally my roommate, read my blog. Sure, that wouldn't account for the 3,500 views it has from all over the world, but I just figured those extra views were accidental clicks from Google searches gone awry. I just never thought I was that interesting nor important to other people to take time out of their busy Facebook, Twitter and Instagram lives to meander over to my blog to read my sometimes prolific and occasionally rambling entries. No - no way.

But Favorite Student was not the first in the past few days to inform me of his readership. While at New Brazilian Friend's place, he had been showing me something on his tablet when my blog address popped up in recently viewed pages.

Um, excuse me? Sure, I'd told him about my blog, but never had I given him the address or anything. It was super adorable when L read my blog every day last summer, but she's a girl and that's way different. At least to me. Girls can know my thoughts. Boys? I prefer they didn't sometimes. Haha. It was cute he'd looked at it, but it freaked me out a tiny bit, too! Ha. :)

Back to Favorite Student, though...

*facepalm*

That about sums it up.

My roomies and my mom told me of course people read it and I should be careful what I write because it is out there for everyone to read. It's not like I'm writing secrets on a public thing that I don't want people to know or anything (in fact, I have a separate secret, password protected blog for that)... It's just a little embarrassing to realize the people I'm gushing about are reading what I'm writing about them... Sheesh!

But I'm not going to change how I write and keep my blog over it. Either it was a one time thing and those two will never even read it again, or they will, and will thus continue to quote small parts of it verbatim to me like they have and make me feel the itsy bitsiest "vergonzosa" but flattered.

XOXO

Weekend 166-167: Pizza

I woke up way late. I watched Two and a Half Men. I cleaned an alarming amount (but for the first time since mid December, so you can't say it wasn't completely past due!). I made strawberry shortcake. I helped an older, short lady get ham from the tall shelf. I spent all Saturday blind (I really need to go get new contacts, but I'm scared to try to do it here in Europe!).

Overall, not the most exciting weekend I've ever had...

But what was incredibly enjoyable was making pizzas from scratch with Abby! :) We got all the ingredients together and set up a mini pizza shop in our kitchen. Both of us had summer pizza making jobs, so we felt like we were beyond qualified to play pizza shop together. ;) We made the dough from scratch, the sauce from scratch, and got a bunch of toppings, too (they don't have canned mandarin oranges, so i actually had to buy a real mandarin and have Katie peel it to perfection!).

It was a really adorable thing to do on a lazy Sunday night and brought back really good memories of my time at Nick 'n Willy's, where I met Julia! ^_^ As it turned out, making pizza is just like riding a bike - without knowing why or how, Abby and I were making perfectly sized dough balls, throwing our dough in the air, saucing it just ride, etc. :) The pizza itself was far from the most delicious one we had ever had, but it hit the spot and was the perfect meal to eat while watching this weekend's SNL together.

XOXO

Day 165: A Very Good Day, Indeed

If this were exactly what my life looked like in a year, I would feel... Successful. Accomplished. Blithe.

I'm writing this blog from the Starbucks on Fuencarral in Madrid, outside and under their toasty heat lamps. It was so beautiful and sunny today that it only seems right to be sitting outside at night! I almost feel like Spring is here, and I'm getting so excited for it!

I can't believe I've never blogged at a Starbucks before - the atmosphere is so perfect. I have Grooveshark streaming Jack Johnson and Justin Timberlake through my earphones, and I'm sitting here taking in everybody around me, smoking and drinking their coffees in little bundles of friends sitting around the tiny black tables. :)

Today I substitute taught in fifth and sixth grades. Like last time, Conchita was there just in case there were any behavior issues I couldn't handle. I honestly thought I was really, really going to need her today. See, Sara's classes are the ones that are impossible to teach, because they are always loud, disrespectful and out of control. Sara's way of dealing with them is to scream in their faces and tell them how awful they are and take their recess away from them. At first I thought this was seriously necessary... But after their behavior didn't change months later, I began to wonder if this might not be the most effective manner of disciplining them...? I mean, good discipline encourages good behavior and eventually eliminates bad behavior... So why were these kids only getting worse?

When I'd been told I'd be substituting again, I was really excited. It means a great deal to me that the headmistress trusts me enough to put me in charge of teaching solo. :) But when I found out it'd be for Sara's classes, I was less than excited... If they were that disastrous when their actual teacher was in the room, what would happen with just me there!? I decided it would either be the worst day I'd had teaching at that school, or it'd turn out to be the best.

And it turned out to be the best!!

I walked into the first class with the 5th graders, a little nervous, but as soon as I sat down they all ran to their school bags for their English notebook and textbook and ran back to their seats and sat there, all smiles. They were clearly PUMPED I was going to be their teacher solo today, and they took turns squealing, "Hi, Chelsea!!" from their desks. :) Um, adorable.

The class went off without a hitch and they all copied everything I wrote on the board without a single complaint. Everybody participated and was enthusiastic. When I used the example for Present Continuous that I was teaching at CISTA and that I started in September and would be done in June, the whole class started to protest. "Wait. You're leaving in June? You're not going to be our teacher next year, too? Why? We want you to stay!!" :) It was way adorable!!

For the last ten minutes of the class, the students had to do work in their notebooks. Usually when it's time to silently work and do their own thing, the students take the opportunity to talk and get out of their seats and just become a general loud disaster. But today? Today I used a trick that I learned from my favorite Master's teacher - during one of our classes we had a few minutes to do individual work and she took the opportunity to put some cool, but chill music on. We were all so confused, and she said it make working more pleasant and easier to focus... And she was totally right! Suddenly, we never wanted individual work time to stop because we loved the music she was playing so much! :) And so, I tried it with these 5th graders. As soon as they sat to work, I turned on Grooveshark.com and starting playing some Jack Johnson from the album "In Between Dreams." The students started looking around the room, clearly bewildered. I told them I thought a little music made working more enjoyable. They all smiled and bobbed their heads along to the music while the worked. In complete and utter silence. For ten minutes straight.

It was the weirdest sight I had ever seen.

Ever.

Was this the same class that I have been going to for months that gets so loud and unruly!? Was this the same class that Sara yells at every time I'm there to sit down and be quiet and start participating more?!

At the end of the class the kids told me they wished I could be their teacher every day. ^_^ Awww... Thanks, guys! I'd love to be, now that I know you're actually all really cool when given a proper chance and not being made to feel bad about yourselves all the time! :)

Next class was the 6th graders. Now, in comparison to the 5th grade class, the 6th grade class is a million times worse. It's the class I once made them do a dictation that turned out to be a contract that they had to sign, agreeing to stop being so disrespectful and unruly. It was the class I always end up yelling at and sending some kid into the hallway so that I don't try to pelt them with all the chalk in the room first. They are the second worst class I teach in the whole school, and I had them for two hours today - an hour of Science and an hour of English. Let's just say, I wasn't so much looking forward to it...

So you can imagine my surprise when I walked in and then were all silently seated at their desks with their Science notebooks and textbooks opened on their desk.

Whoa - what!?!

I told them we would begin by doing popcorn reading of the next two pages. A few kids informed me that they usually read paragraph by paragraph and Sara chooses who will read. I repeated that today we would be doing it popcorn style. When a girl tried to tell me again that's not how they do it, one girl said, "That's Sara's way. But today we have Chelsea, and we are going to do things Chelsea's way." By the smiles on the kids' faces, I could tell this made them quite pleased. :)

After we read and highlighted, I told them I would write the important terms on the board along with pithy explanations that they would have to copy in their notebooks. Nobody protested, and everyone flipped their notebook right open.

What ensued was absolute hilarity. I had to teach them about motors, circuits and sensors... As if I had any knowledge on the subject myself before they'd began popcorn reading a few minutes before! And so I did what I do best - I got real ridiculous real fast. I basically did an interpretive dance for each term I defined on the board. For combustion engine I pretended to be a little car and cruised around the room, occasionally making little explosion noises. For an electric motor I pretended to plug myself into the wall. For electric circuits I had a guy come up and be an engine and then tell me to go do things around the room. Each sensor I had an elaborate story for - temperature sensors keeps your ice cream frozen... Light sensors are the reason you have to jump when you run out of a garage as the door is closing... Infrared sensors are what allow us to sit on the couch lazily and still change channels.

The class was ALL sorts of into my crazy explanations as I danced and jumped around the classroom. One of the more disruptive boys, who had been giggling and paying attention just as much as the others, told me this was the most interesting science class they'd ever had. He told me that their teacher usually just makes them read and copy ad nauseum. "Actually," one girl corrected him, "this is the most entertaining class of any subject we've ever had."

Hahaha.

Hell yeah. ;)

We broke for breakfast, and a half hour later we were back for English class. One guy asked if I could try to make this class even more awesome than the last, but unfortunately the subject wasn't so exciting. They had a whole page of bookwork to do for the class, but again I put on music and they, too, were enraptured. :)

Overall a magnificent half day of teaching solo! ^_^

I spent the afternoon getting ready for my late afternoon and evening in the city, and was off. First stop, a TTMadrid meeting in regards to our TEFL certification process. Basically, we have to do part of our dissertation profiling an adult student of ours (Patty!), do six observed classes and pass a grammar awareness exam. Sounds ducky. :) But of course, half my group began saying how much work it would be and they didn't know when they could fit it in and they would be so nervous to be observed in a classroom setting, blah blah blah. Come on, guys... You sound like my students when I give them a coloring sheet and they start telling me how they don't want to do it and it is too difficult and they don't have all of their colored pencils sharpened. ;) Ha.

After the meeting, I stayed behind to talk to Natasha a bit. First, I thanked her for her brilliant music-while-working idea she'd given us in the class she'd taught us! Then I talked to her about my uncertainty in regards to my future plans. I asked her opinion on staying here for the auxiliary program and she told me that it would be a piece of cake compared to what I'm doing now. Four hour a day. Four days per week. Double the salary. Plus private lessons on the side. AND I would live in the city. I'm definitely going to sign up for the program - it seems like the easiest way to live a more than comfortable life abroad ever! But she encouraged me to also look into other options, too. Her main suggestion?

Dubai.

She told me how she lived in Dubai for awhile as an English teacher and how she actually met her husband there. She told me that it is an incredible place and feels surreal - like living in Disney World or something. She said it isn't a place a person could live all their life, but a great place to spend a year or two experiencing everything, traveling and working. The biggest bonus, of course, is that it is in the highest paying country to work for as an English teacher in the world. :) She told me that if she has an opportunity to return, she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Hmmm... Dubai, hey? I've always been curious about it...

Natasha then told me that if I did decide on staying in Madrid next year, she would love to have me teach the Phonology section of the Master's class next year!!! How awesome would that be!? ^_^ So cool.

After leaving TTMadrid, I had dinner, cookies and did a bit of shopping before Abby arrived (I was on a search for a denim button down - all the rage on Pinterest and Spain right now... and something I wanted in on! A million denim shirts later, I found the perfect one and am happy to report that I look as adorable in it as the countless girls on Pinterest do!), and in no time it was time for Caipirinha Party #2.

Now, I knew better than to think ANY party could ever be better than Caiprinha Party #1 with Maitê, Mateus, Sebastian, Lucas, Lucia, Gaba and everybody else in Dublin. That was basically the best party I've ever been to. ;) The caipirinha was delicious, the music was great (Sebastian and I make the best DJs ever), the company was hilarious and amazing, some forró was definitely thrown in there and flirting was definitely happening. I'm sure it didn't hurt matters that I was the only American within miles of the party, either. ;) I felt 100% in my element.

Caiprinha Party #2, however, was pretty much the opposite. Without meaning to be, I found myself surrounded by Americans the entire time... And just in case I'd forgotten, it once again became entirely too obvious to me that if there is one nationality I do not enjoy nor get along with easily, it is the American nationality. Their taste in music, their topics of conversation, their selfishness during discourse, their predictable and undereducated diction... All of it. It was a great reminder as to why I graduated college a year early, as well as why I originally decided I needed to move to another country and try never to return - at least for as long as possible. Jeeze.

I was grateful for Abby clearly knowing what to do in these circumstances, and chose to stand there and consume cachaca rather than summon the energy it would take to walk a few paces to my right to join in a Spanish conversation. Hours later - after following everybody out to a bar, having a yucky Mexican guy try to dance with me, and somehow finding our way back via cab, Abby and I were sitting outside the door of where the party had started - all of our stuff obviously inside but nobody there to let us in.

What ensued was debatably the best (and arguably only) late night/early morning too-much-cachaca story I've ever been part of which involved a lot of doorbells, extreme attempts at speaking sensical Spanish, an old lady in her house coat, a hallway, a wee bit of Portuguese and a note pinned to the door the next morning with a harshly worded warning about calling the police.

Oops.

Overall, it was clearly the most successful night Abby and I have had together since sometime early last fall. ;)

XOXO

Day 164: Valentine's Day!!! ^_^

2004: Matt
We didn't really DO anything, but he did give me a Valentine of a scary bear/dog thing that sang and had weird Walmart type chocolates. But it was the thought that counted, and it was my first V day ever having liked and sorta half been with somebody. ;)

2005: Scott
I don't remember! I literally have no clue what we did. I know we were together. I remember the day - I remember a girl in my class got a big stuffed animal with an embroidered leather jacket that said "I love you" with her name underneath from her boyfriend. I remember I'd never liked that girl and that made it way worse, 'cause she didn't even look impressed. But what I did after school with Scott?! No idea. And so I txted him and asked him, and he doesn't remember, either!! >_<

2006: Stephen
Once again, we did nothing, but I do remember a note he gave me that day that said something like, "If we can't celebrate love on the day of St. Valentine's violent death, then when can we celebrate it?" I'm pretty sure I still have that note, too. ;) Not so romantic, but very Stephen, and it made me smile. :)

2007: Kenny (#3 Ranked)
I was soooo excited for this V day, because my mom agreed to let me break curfew that night AND go out on a school night!! I had been hard at work on Kenny's robot blanket and gave it to him at the end of the night in a big Valentine's bag, and he really liked it. :) But for our after school date we did EVERYTHING I loved. We went to my absolute favorite sushi place - but the fancy location in LoDo Denver, went to Cherry Creek to peruse Tiffany and Co., then went to Krispy Kreme to try and get a heart shaped doughnut (they didn't have any, but we did buy a box of red and pink sprinkled ones and ate half of them on the car ride back). When we got back to the school parking lot, where my car was, we looked at the stars and made out a little, before finally parting ways. It was super thoughtful and so sweet. ^_^ I LOVED that V day!!! <3

2008: Steve (#5 Ranked)
Grandma and I drove all the way to Minneapolis to spend V day with my boyfriend at the time, Steve. Grandma got a hotel room and relaxed for the weekend, while I stayed with him. When I arrived at his apartment, he'd prepared a pink themed V day meal with strawberry soup, cupcakes, the most delicious steak ever, and other things. I had a great weekend going to the Mall of America and being adored. :) Pretty cool V day!!

2009: Julia (#2 Ranked)
Bough J a bouquet of lilies and a big balloon, and in turn she made me homemade cupcakes that spelled out (in frosting) "I LOVE YOU CHELSEA," and also made me a poster-sized card that said the same thing, but with photographs of her hands spelling it out in American Sign Language. Overall, it was pretty darned adorable. ^_^ <3

2010: Brazilian (#1 Ranked)
I went to my first Roller Derby bout with my friend, and came home to B, who had been trying to get ahold of me all day long. I hadn't thought he had any idea what Valentine's Day was, much less wanted to spend it with me, so when he told me to hurry up and shower and get dressed, I was pleasantly surprised. When I went down to his room, he was all adorable and fancy. I asked him where we were going and he said he had no idea. "B, you can't just invite a girl out and have no place to take her!" He laughed and said it was my city and that I would have to take him to one of my favorite places. We ended up going to my absolute favorite Pie shop - Hubbard Ave. Diner - and having some cookie dough pie, before heading to Sonic Burger for some gross but delicious drive-in food and then over to Walmart to wander aimlessly, try silly hats on and have a spectacular time. Most adorable and spontaneous V day ever. <3

2011: Brazilian
Went to Walmart and txted B while I was there, missing how fun our Vday had been the year before. Around this time I also txted J, who told me to "never f*ing contact her again," and officially broke up with B, after realizing neither of us had plans to be in the same country again for the next few years at least. Sorta bittersweet, but it was nice to be able to talk to B for the day. :)

2012: Julia
I arrived at work at the same time as Cindy and we both handed each other a bag of Valentine's goodies!! It was so adorable!! :) She got us matching accessories and I got us necklaces and Starbucks, I think. In the morning, before leaving for work, I'd left a rose and a honey bear in J's car for her to find later when she awoke, but she didn't do anything for me. At night, I waited and waited for her to come home, but around 2am she informed me she was at a strip club with her friends, since I'd said I didn't want to go out, and she'd be home later. In all, not the best V day. At all.

2013: ^_^ (#4 Ranked)
I got cookies for breakfast and was riding the train when the man who had been sitting next to me got up for his exit, but first turned to me and, in Spanish, told me to please have a very happy Valentine's Day. It was absolutely ADORABLE. :) A few days before I'd gone to Cupcake Madrid (the best cupcake shop I've found here) and bought all my roommates a cupcake. I also colored each one a Valentine and wrote them each a poem on the back of it. I left a cupcake along with their Valentine outside of each of their doors to discover when they woke up!! I felt SO adorable, and it made them all SO happy!!! ^_^ YAY!!! At school, I had the third graders and the sixth graders make a Valentine and decorate it and they all really enjoyed it. Throughout the day I got Facebook messages from Ivan, Doug and Bob, wishing me a very happy Valentine's day, which made me feel really loved and squishy. :) Much later when I got home, I had a Valentine from Abby sitting on my desk!!! It was a cute drawing along with a note - written in four different langauges, all in IPA!!! - as well as a bottle of my favorite horchata, a pack of double stuffed Oreos and a bottle of my favorite Spanish wine, all wrapped up in shiney pink and red ribbons and festive little decorations!!! OHMYGOD SO ADORABLE!!! It was the first Valentine I'd received in four years and I did a little crazy jig around my room after I received it!!! ^_^ It was an unexpectedly really awesome day!!! ^_^

Day 163: Expectations

School wise, Wednesday is my easy day. The day starts with 11th grade (<3), break, Alejandro's 5th grade, break, Laura's 1st grade (<3), done. I teach for a grand total of three hours and get my two favorite classes! So awesome.

The only monumental moments of the day were:
1) When one of my favorites in 11th grade drew his interpretation of "Russian Unicorn"!!!
2) When I told one of the 5th grade girls off for only ever speaking Spanish. :)
3) Hector bought me a Coke - just because! ^_^

After school today I had Picasso, as he'd had an appointment on Monday and had to reschedule. Class with him wasn't really so successful, and I think I am going to have to be a bit more creative with how I get him motivated, but I have to remember it is all a process and one cannot be expected to work miracles in just one hour a week.

I went straight from his house to the train, made a pitstop at Starbucks to refuel, and then showed up at Patty's door RIGHT on time. :) Awesome. Patty had made some adorable spread sheets of vocabulary since the night before and proudly showed them to me. She'd found little graphics for each word and it was absolutely adorable! Working with her continues to be amazing. At first I was scared I wouldn't have enough material to cover three hour over a two day period, but it turns out that we go over one concept, and then practice, and then from there she has lots of specific questions I can answer, and we get deeper and deeper into things. Her questions are all very intelligent and I feel so happy that my love of English linguistics and the history of the language are finally paying off and actually have turned into something that can help others!

My first day with her I worried I would be no more useful than a normal textbook - I don't really know all the intricate rules to my own language, nor in what order to teach it all, or really what to specifically teach at all. I could teach a Spanish class just find, because I studied it myself, but English is a little trickier! But at this point, I'm starting to see just how useful I can be. After five months of teaching and listening to Spanish speakers use English at varying levels, I know what is difficult for Spanish speakers and what I can nip in the bud from the beginning to set somebody apart from all the others and explain it in a way that sticks. It's incredible to realize I have a surprisingly vast knowledge about my own language that can come in handy for teaching it. I don't just tell a non native speaker they are wrong - I tell them what their mistake literally translates to in English, followed by a historical, phonological or other linguistic reason for the correct answer. ^_^

After my lesson with her, I went to a bar a few metro stops away to meet some Couchsurfing guests of his. Weeks before, I'd been there when he'd received their request and I'd told him to accept it, even though it was during the week. I was curious to see if I'd given him the right advice, and he'd invited me out to a bar to meet them.

As it turned out, the late 20-something married couple were pretty cool. :) They were from Poland, but had been living in England for six years when they got the idea a year ago to take six months to just travel South America. They had flown to Madrid for a few days and to get a cheaper flight and were leaving tomorrow for Colombia. They asked me all about my trips to Argentina and Brazil and were clearly way excited for their journey ahead of them. :) Brave, travely type people are just so cool! Clearly a little crazy, but cool.

But of course the most interesting part of the day came much later. I honestly wasn't expecting it, but all of a sudden the "What exactly are you expecting from me?" question popped into the air. Hello, non-sequitur! I was caught completely off guard, so Debate Chelsea took over and I immediately threw the question right back like a BAMF - bahaha! >_<

I mean... okay... like, how is a girl supposed to respond to that question? "I expect relatively little of you because you are of the male gender"? Or, maybe, "I am pretty sure this is a trick question to gauge what the minimum amount of required attention it will take from this point forward to keep me just interested enough not to write you off is"?

Is this question ever asked sincerely, or are there always ulterior motives? In my experience, it is a test (not that the person asking consciously realizes it, of course) and there are definitive correct answers and incorrect answers...

Incorrect answer: "What do I expect from you? I have no idea. I try really hard to live without expectations. But what would I like from you? To feel appreciated and adored. To talk every day or two, to see each other every week or two, to go on mini adventures around the city every once in awhile. To have somebody I look forward to being silly and myself with, and for you to be happy and grateful I'm a part of your life. To be helpful whenever I can be, and in return feel supported in the things that matter most to me."

Correct answer: "I don't expect anything from you. You do whatever you want," said in an Emma Stonesque uber aloof and self-confident tone.

I went with the second response, and in turn was actually told I was cold! I couldn't help but laugh - I mean, duh. But it's not that I am cold, it's that I feel like it's another level on a video game that I have to beat, and being upfront is the only sure way to lose a life and go back to start. Typing this now, I realize how immature that sounds - but the thing is, I still feel like I'm correct.

I feel like the general MO of every girly girl in the world is to be crazy possessive and demanding - two qualities that I wish never, ever to possess again. And so I react by trying to be as polar opposite as humanly possible. Perhaps there is a more sane way of going a out it, but if there is, I have no clue what it would be.

My other issue is believing that every person of the male gender in the whole world has absolutely no feelings. None. In my personal experience, it's always been more the girls who lack sensible emotions as compared to the guys... But good luck making that empirical evidence stick in my brain. In my self constructed fantasy land, the only thing guys care about is seeing how many girls they can sleep with. That's it. Maybe this belief comes from having listened to B for two years bragging and bragging about his many conquests. But it's certainly not fair to use one guy to generalize about half the human population. Plus, I know firsthand that B is plenty emotional, he just is selective about to whom and how often he shows it.

I guess I really am going off my experience with him, though, as it's my only guy experience in the past five years. I remember quite vividly the night he asked me the, "What do you expect from me?" question and I remember his long speech about how he was abroad to have fun and didn't want anything serious with anybody, even though he really liked me, but he just wanted to meet lots of people and have a good time with everybody in a really casual way. I could tell he'd used the speech on about a million girls before me, and I could tell he was waiting for a certain reaction of desperation or disappointment or SOMETHING, but if there's one thing I'm not, it's being like other girls. And so I nodded, chipper as could be, and smiled. "Cool!" was my whole response to his fifteen minute speech. His shock was apparent, and he tried to explain himself again, as if thinking I must not have understood, but I just grinned and told him I got it and no problem.

My cool, calm, and collected nature and self-confidence was exactly what kept him so interested in me, even when he had more intelligent and more attractive girls begging to be his girlfriend. My calculated words and actions paid off, but I always felt a little like I'd "won" his affections based off my cunning. Had I not tried so hard, would he have still felt the same way in the end? I was only 20 at the time... And I'm happy to report I think I'm growing out of that phase of seeing relationships as a challenge I must beat and conquer. I don't want to have to feel like I need to work to win somebody's affection... by telling people what I think they want to hear, keeping my thoughts to myself when I'm worried they might make me too vulnerable, spending buckets of time just to write back a perfect text or a message. It's all so silly.

I rather be adored for just being effortlessly me.

But the most real part of the whole thing was after I thought the conversation was over and out of nowhere he turned around so he wasn't facing me and told me in a softer voice, "You know, I'm not always really that self-confident. Sometimes I have no idea what to say or do."

My first thought was "Shit, me either, dude. Glad I'm not the only one." And that was quickly followed by the jarring realization that this guy that I've been hanging out with for a month is actually really cool. ;) I knew he was a good dancer, had impressive knowledge of cute cafes and bars around Madrid, made me feel comfortable enough to practice Spanish around and had a weird obsession with his Yoda hoodie (Bahaha)... but (as blunt as I'm sure this sounds), I couldn't ever quite ascertain how much depth the guy had until that moment, and the few other comments that came after.

A pleasant perspective-changing way to end the day. :) Haha...

XOXO

Day 162: Assumption of Adoration - Day One!

My nails are painted bright red and match the color of the hearts on my otherwise navy blue tights. I'm wearing my mustard yellow floral lace skirt from London along with a tight black sweater and the colorful (but muted) paisley Sfera scarf I got from my Secret Santa a few months ago at school. I have my black leather and suede riding boots on and I decided to go for looks rather than warmth for the day and threw on my beige but bright orange lined Athropologie trench coat. I woke up early enough to shower and blow dry my hair so I could leave it down all day, and even have a little eyeliner and mascara on. When I get home, I'll take it all off and change into my PJs and new Havaianas, which match the color of my freshly painted blue toes, but for now I am wearing my most favorite winter outfit, and I think it shows. I caught a glimpse of myself in the train window and I dare say I might even have been able to fool a few fellow passengers into suspecting I was a successful, professional young woman was it not for my big Cupcake Madrid bag I've been carrying on my arm all night! ;)

Yesterday morning at school was just awesome; the first thing that happened when I walked in my first class (11th grade - my favorite class in the whole s school by far!) was my Favorite Student raising his hand and asking me what "nookie" meant. I closed my eyes for a moment and then looked at him and asked, "Are you serious?" Nervously, he looked side to side, "Um... yeah?" I began to smile and told him I'd answer his question in a moment. As their teacher took over and told them to begin studying silently, I pulled up Urban Dictionary and slyly direction his attention to the screen. I watched with great amusement as he began reading the definition (full of other colloquial phrases he was unfamiliar with) and waited until he got to the last line of the definition that was pretty darned direct.

"Oh!" he exclaimed all of a sudden. "Oh, no!" He looked him at me, eyes wide, and I couldn't help but burst out laughing. He was clearly relieved at my response and quickly showed the definition to his two friends next to him who'd also been wondering. As they started laughing, Favorite Student said to me, "Well, I gotta say, the song makes a lot more sense now!"

Bahaha... I bet it does, my friend. ;)

I then set to grading some of their essays for their teacher. Favorite Student spelled "different" with one 'f' again and I told him I would hurt him. He meekly searched his pencil case and, much to my surprise, pulled out the sticky note I'd stuck on his forehead the other week and promised for the second time. Ha.

A few essays later and I came across this line: "...a friend is [somebody who] spends their time in you..." Bahahaha!! I burst out laughing and stopped the whole class from their studies to inform them that spending time WITH SOMEONE and spending time IN SOMEONE were quite different things. Oh, English prepositions... You tricky bastards! ;) The smart half of the class had a good laugh, while the other half stared at me blankly. Haha!

But all those jems were from yesterday's first period. TODAY nothing particularly spectacular happened at school (Tuesdays are Sara's classes for two hours - and if there are any classes I dread, they are hers), but I was quite chipper all day long. By the time it was Nachomantime, I was a perfect combination of chill and happy. On Tuesdays I always have his class right before school lets out, so I sort of have him for two and a half hours on. Tuesdays, between is school class and our playtime at home together. I adore going into his classroom and hearing how much better he is at English than all of his classmates! *teacher pride* It is also particularly adorable because he clearly shows off when I'm in the class and will misbehave a little bit or be a little more bratty, because he understands me far better than the others and knows how playful I am in real life, whereas the rest just see me as a normal teacher.

Anyway, it's so strange to think about our first few weeks together at his house, when he would sit there silently and draw or play a board game with me or do magic tricks for me - but always silently - and once even in tears because he just wanted to be with his mom! Now, according to his mom, it's the highlight of his week. :) Every time we get home now he takes off his shoes and proudly shows me the two different socks he chose that morning, and then asks to see mine. See, I always wear two different socks (thanks, J), and once he started noticing a few weeks ago, he decided he had to be as cool as me and do it, too!! :) Then, the rest of the time we just hang out and play. And it is 90% in English, too. It's sort of ridiculous for me to see how fast he picks everything up. One day I sang Eenie Meenie Miney Moe to myself while we played Hide and Seek and the next week he was singing it around the house! Sometimes he'll blurt out stuff that only I say, so I know he heard it from me ("Oh brother!" and "Muffins!" are the funniest). Also, when he's talking in English, he'll just insert Spanish when he doesn't know a word and keep going. I'll fill in the word for him casually and keep listening, and then once he's done, he'll start repeating the word I filled in for him under his breath as if trying it out and storing it in his mind's word bank for next time. It's way crazy.

Last night for my class I had to watch a short video on a Chinese bilingual preschool in America. The teachers went over how much the kids love the school and love learning Chinese. They said they never forced the kids to use the language, but rather encouraged it through games and song. I couldn't understand how it seemed to work so well for them. And then today I came to hang out with Nacho and realized that that was exactly what I was doing with him!!

My dad is coming to see me in March and he has been invited to visit my school. He was very excited but said to me, "But how will the children understand me, and how will I understand them? They don't speak English - they speak Spanish! They're so young!" I smiled when he said this, because he is going to be blown away. Sometimes I fret that I am not teaching enough and I am shitty teacher, but these kids' understanding and output is incredible. Sometimes I honestly forget they speak another language natively. Honestly. Even (especially) the littlest ones. I was telling Nacho's mom about it and she said I should definitely introduce my dad and Nacho. Nacho overheard us talking and wanted to know what we were saying about him. When his mom told him I had said that he was very good at English and I had told my dad about him and that he wanted to meet Nacho, the little guy hid behind my legs in momentary embarrassment, and then said, "Well, alright then. Let's invite him over for a coffee."

Bahahaha!!!

The most awesome thing about hanging out with Nacho is how he's about the same age Sam was when I started hanging out with him and doing French Fry Math and teaching him to read fast and giving him casual Chinese lessons when he felt like it. I never taught him for the sake of teaching, but rather he got a kick out of the games we played together, and if he happened to be honing a skill, he had no clue. I felt rather brilliant in my own way, and take great pride in how ridiculously smart he continues to be. ;) But I think the thing that was so cool about Sam and me was that I treated him with respect and just like he was on my level. I never talked down to him or thought he was any less intelligent than I was. I loved the stuff he'd come up with and he always kept me learning, too. It was a totally equal partnership, in my mind.

And so it is with Nacho. I talk to him like I would a real awesome friend. I never consciously dumb down my vocabulary or slow down my speech unless I see he didn't understand something. I never purposefully try to teach him anything specific, which previously made me feel like a bad teacher and wasting his time, but I quickly came to realize this is what makes us both so successful. He has no idea he is making mistakes when he happens to in English. He is just communicating. If I repeat something he said that was incorrect correctly, he will just continue on. Then, a few moments later, I'll hear him repeating the correction of new word to himself, and the cool part is is that it never sounds like he's consciously doing it, but rather an automated process takes over that repeats the word quietly as it uploads it to is mental English dictionary! :)

The most adorable part of my hour with him was when he turned the TV on to the cartoon channel. Now, he does this almost every class and I never mind, but there is the initial (and now practically scripted) few seconds where he turns the volume up and I tell him it has to be at 5, to which he turn it to 35 and I stare at him until he turns it to 10, and then I quickly distract him and turn it to 0. Ha. So tonight, after that whole song and dance, I started giving the cartoon characters voice overs in English! I was mostly just amusing myself - it had been a game they did on "Whose Line is it Anyway," and I'd always wanted to try it out. A bit to my surprise (but not completely), Nacho got really into it and couldn't stop giggling. It lasted a minute or two until we were off to our next game, but ten minutes later he saw the TV and asked if I could do it again. I said sure, and went to start, and then asked if he wanted to play.

It was a big moment. It was why I had really began the voiceovers - first, to see if he could follow along (the characters appear and disappear on the screen so quickly that I had to speak rather fast), and if he could, if he could do it, too. I knew it was a stretch - making up creative dialogue on the spot! - but I was so curious as to whether he could do it. I'm not even sure an average 6 year old could do something like that in their native language, much less their second.

He enthusiastically responded immediately, "Yeah! I am the boys. You are the girls." Every time a boy cartoon character came on the screen he began talking, and every time a girl did, I began to talk. We had a discussion about the boy's motorcycle and how the girl should go for a ride, but all of a sudden the bad guys came and tried to take us. Nacho was having a grand old time and was completely on his toes and making the dialogue really interesting and wouldn't pause for a beat until his characters were off the screen.

I was utterly blown away.

I've studied all the Noam Chomsky research about how 6 year olds and under have a crazy ability to just pick up language - but, man! The coolest part is not letting him know how incredible it is. I get the giggles when he says something way intelligent, but he thinks I've just lost my sanity and has no idea it's just because he's so awesome and I'm shocked and giggling about it. For him, talking and playing in English with me is just what is normal. It doesn't seem to be difficult or a bother to switch to English. He just does. But jeeze Louise - reflecting on how mute he was the first few weeks as compared to how he is today - sheesh!

The last game we played was he informed me that he would be Chelsea Perez Moscato Montoya (he said that's my name in Spanish, because people have longer names in Spain and my name doesn't sound Spanish at all), and I would be Nacho Cheese and Chips (I told him that was his name in English when he begged me to tell him after giving me a Spanish name -Bahaha). He proceeded to put one of my boots on and tell me that he had to go now. I lunged at his giant booted foot and clung to it like a crazy baboon. "Nooooo!! You can't go!! Estay here!!" He was giggling, as he said, "No, Chelsea Montoya. I have no go NOW." I didn't let go of his leg, "But WHY do you have to go!?" I squealed. He was really laughing now, "Uh... I don't know. But I do! Now, give me my boot or I will never come back to play!"

This exchange went on for about as long as it does in real life every day I leave - hahaha - but it was incredibly adorable! ^_^ Nacho is just like the coolest Spanish kid EVER. I used to only want to have a girl when I grow up, it after hanging out with Sam and Nacho, I think I'm starting to change my mind! If I could have a boy as smart and adorable as those two... Man!

After Mr. Nacho it was time to go into the city for my first Tuesday class with Patty. I hadn't heard from her since our very first class last Wednesday and since I'd sent her the giant email of homework - but she'd texted me to confirm class was on for the night, so I went there happy as a clam and eager to hear if she'd done any of the homework I'd so crazily assigned by the boatload!

I got there only five minutes late this time (yay!) thanks to having found a new, shorter route to her house. When I arrived, I felt a lot more in control because of it. She greeted me just as warmly as last time and we went right up to her room. When I walked in, I started to look around and saw little papers taped to everything. She gave me a huge smile and told me how she'd decided to look up, type, print and tape vocabulary words for all of the things in her room! How adorable is this girl!?! She proudly showed me each one (she has about 20 up at this point, but informed me she'll make many more before moving on to the next room of the house), and asked if it was the correct word. So. Cute!

When we sat down at the desk a few minutes later, she pulled up my homework email on her laptop and I asked if she'd been able to do any of it. I had asked in the email for her to think about creating an English portfolio of sorts - either in a binder or a notebook or on her computer, etc. With a big grin on her face, she pulled out the new notebook she had purchased especially to be her English Portfolio. She told me she had gone on a very specific mission to find the cutest notebook she could that would serve well for the portfolio and she was so excited when she finally found this one. And I had to agree - it was perfect!!! It was a notebook by my favorite notebook designer and had a girl on the cover in New York City and next to her it said, "I'm a New York Girl!"

Bahhh!!! Amazing!!!

To be honest, a few days before moving to Spain, I went to Target and bought the most expensive notebook they had, which I'd been wanting for weeks. It is a design by the same lady, only the girl on the front has a small fluffy dog and is standing outside of a Metro stop! I thought it looked so European Chic I had to buy it! :)

Clearly, this girl and I are a perfect pair!!!

What's more is, she had done four pages of exercises in it and arranged them by color. "I'm thinking the pink pages should be vocabulary, and the green pages should be exercises. What do you think?"

I. Love. This. Girl.

My biggest difficulty with teaching is when students are nothing like me. I just don't know how to relate, much less teach. I always think, "Man, if I could just have a student who is like me. I could be the most crazy awesome teacher they'd ever had!" And alas, the stars have aligned and it's happened!! I think I'm actually as excited to teach this girl as she is to learn! So awesome! :)

The rest of the lesson went wonderfully and we talked and giggled a lot. It's kind of cool to teach English to motivated people, because the best thing you can do for them is to just hang out and converse! What an awesome thing to get paid to do! And then, on top of it all, I get to find clever ways to teach them when they say or write or understand something incorrectly. :)

This almost sounds silly, but teaching this girl - at least this first week - has felt a little dream joby. The thing is, I'm going off of NO theory whatsoever (I don't know any!! And apparently this Master's degree isn't just about to teach me any...), but I am going off of a shit ton of personal experience, both with me learning languages, as well as with my teaching of B. If I were to make a preliminary theory, it would go like this:

First - Get the student excited, motivated and comfortable about/with the language. Be very patient when they are speaking, talk a little slower and more enunciated when beginning, but never make them feel like they are doing anything wrong. Make it feel like everything they say is great and when they have trouble understanding, rephrase what you said slower, all the while with that look of, "Silly me, I said that strangely the first time! My bad!" Of course they are making errors and their comprehension isn't perfect, but it's just the idea of making them comfortable from the first moment that is so imperative. I believe the more comfortable you are, the more confident you get, and the more confident you get, the more you are able to learn and retain.

B once showed me a clip where a soccer player was speaking English in an interview. His grammar was awful and his vocabulary was limited, but he just kept on speaking without hardly any pauses. B then turned to me and said, "That is what I consider fluency." I didn't agree with him, and still don't, but I see where he was going with it. You can have a person who speaks the language at a lower level with a 25% rate of error, but they speak comfortably and keep up their pace, and then you can have a person with a higher level and only a 10% rate of error, but very timid and uncomfortable. Every time that first person will be way more easily understood, and better able to express what they need to express.

Second - Make it fun. If they can giggle while they're learning, they might even forget they are learning, which is usually, in my experience, when things actually stick. I took a chance and introduced Patty to the concept of the default vowel "schwa." I over exaggerated its sound in some vocabulary words and she started to laugh. I always explain why I'm doing something seemingly ridiculous, though, so she sees the benefit in it, too. :) I am just not the kind of person that can teach the basics. If something else comes up, I'm going to teach you about it, and we are just going to try our best to tie it all together with a cute little bow. ;) Better to throw too much at someone than not enough - especially if it is entertaining and interesting!

Third - I believe creativity is key to learning. All those irregular verb songs Mrs. Hinchey made us memorize... All those vocab sheets I would color code and do strange word association to... They all are the things that I still remember and continue to help me a decade later! And so when I asked her what she thought of doing a drawing or a song or something in her awesome New York Notebook each week to sum up what grammatical concepts we learned that week, in a creative and artistic manner that would stick in her mind, she said she thought it was awesome! She pointed to her paint brushes and canvasses, and told me she was very artistic and loved doing art. PERFECT!!! ^_^

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to help this awesome girl learn English and I am already looking forward to our Wednesday lesson! I love it when getting paid is just a bonus because I love what I am doing so much. That is exactly how life should be. ^_^

When I finally got home a little after 11pm, I was all excited to tell Abby about my happy day. She had txted me right before I got on the train that she wanted me to come home already, but I took it as a joke since I was out so late on a school night. But, as it turned out, she wasn't kidding. She had had a rather rough day and so it was nice to be able to make her smile when I told her the cute parts of mine, but more so it was nice to be able to be there to listen to her. <3 It took us a week and a half to get over my drama queen moment, but I'm so glad things are back to normal. :) But, jeeze! Poor girl really had a trying night. I left her a chocolate bar on her desk to wake up to and hopefully make her smile, along with two numbers of possible jobs, so hopefully today will be a little less sticky.

Just as I turned the lights out to go to sleep I got a txt asking if I was awake. It was 1:30 am, but I happened to definitely be awake. When I said so, he wrote back telling me he would call me. And then, two seconds later, followed by "May I?"

First, I haven't been asked if it was okay to call me at night since high school. I used to absolutely love when somebody would ask me that! <3 It always seemed so adorable. Second, I haven't talked to somebody on the phone, late at night, for the sake of talking since I lived in Madison. And third, the statement followed by the gentler question was definitely like those Ryan Gosling Notebook memes of him in the lake and made me giggle.

It was utterly unexpected, but timed well, considering my experiment that I officially began today. 24 hours into it and I already feel a huge shift in progress! <3

XOXO

Day 161: Conor <333

It really took until Conor's death for me to grasp why people ever took religion so seriously. But thanks to him, I've developed my own sort of religion that really, really works for me. In it, Conor is equivalent to my own personal sort of "God." I can "pray" to him (i.e. talk to him in my mind or out loud when I need help, when I am grateful, when I find something funny - for any reason, really) and I never, ever feel alone. I always feel like there is a divine power on my side who will listen whenever I need to be heard and who is there guiding me. But it's not that I think he knows lots better than me, necesarily, or has way more power than I have, exactly. It's that he is 100% on my side and helps me to channel my energy and shift my perspective in order to acheive whatever it is I next what to achieve. But, yes, when I really need it, he can work magic - but I always make sure I offer something in exchange - I tell him I'll be willing to change my perspective or a certain behavior or whatever else, if he can help me with one certain thing. Whenever I am facing a difficulty, before I ask for help, I always ask him, "What am I missing, here? You wouldn't have lead me into this unless you had a very specific reason for me being here. What is begging to be seen? What am I supposed to be learning from this?" Only after I feel I have figured it out, do I ask for help, knowing that if he isn't able to help me in that moment, it's for my highest good. Because I know he would never abandon me. And he would never not help me if it really was something that would irreparably harm me. And he always has a sense of humor, which makes me smile even when I'm at my lowest and crying, alone in some secret spot, begging for his help.

Maybe it's because of those nights when I would hide in my closet and cry and the only person I'd talk to would be him either on AIM or on the phone. And he would tell me to be brave, and that it would all be over soon, and that to always remember he was on my side, and that I was stronger than I thought. He always made me feel adored, no matter how awful about myself I felt. And I knew that he wouldn't be on Earth long enough to be able to pay him back for all he had done for me, so when he moved on I promised him I would never stop  believing in him or shut him out.

Most people don't know that after you die, you're still here... just without a perception of time. And I think your energy that remains on Earth is as strong as those who you loved maintain it.

Sometimes I imagine how awful it would if it turns out I'm right about that and to die and see the people you love so much wandering the planet like completely empty zombies. I would be so upset. I always think of those scenes in Ghostwhisperer when the little kids don't understand they're dead and they don't understand why their parents won't pay attention to them. And what if those people you loved's lives started to crumple in around of them because of your death? Oh, that would really be awful.

And so a few days or weeks after he died, I went to my most secret place on campus in Madison and I sat there and talked to him. I told him that just in case I was right about those things, I would never do that to him. I would take all that they had taught me and all the love he had selflessly given me and I would make him so proud. I would always be there to listen to him and I would always use whatever energy he had to give me and I would live the coolest life I possibly could in his honor.

I had told him before he died how I always excepted one big sign from people when they died to let me know they were okay... but after he died I realized the one thing I wanted to ask of him was his guidance. That was the night I got his response when I accidentally came upon the Orange Soda story and other emails we'd exchanged about how our friendship had and would continue to transcend death, and how we'd always be there to help each other and love each other.

Exactly three years, three months and three weeks later and I can still feel him around me, listening to me and helping me... guiding me and giggling with me. And I'm still trying my best to keep up my end of the bargain, too.

So tonight when I looked up and thanked him, it shouldn't have been any different... but it was. This wasn't my usual request for help; no, this was far more out of my control (I think?). I'd spent a lot of time trying to understand, to be confident, and to be accepting. I spent a lot of time talking to the Universe about it. I explained my position and I accepted responsibility. But as far as I knew, it was out of my hands. So when I received my answer tonight, a great sense of calm and love washed over me. And I knew he was still there and he has been with me the whole time.

Every night before bed I read "Minutos de Sabeduria" in Portuguese. It is a small book with pithy thoughts and philosophies about life. The other night's entry particularly struck me:

"Estude sua própria personalidade. De nada nos valerá o conhecimento de todas as ciências do mundo, de tudo o que está fora de nós, se não conhecermos a nós mesmos. Estude sua alma, que é seu Verdadeiro Eu, que se reflete em sua personalidade exterior. Nosso corpo é a projeção de nossa alma. Conheça a si mesmo, para viver uma vida consciente e feliz."

My rough English translation would be this:

"Study your own personality. There is no value in knowing all the sciences in the world nor of knowing all that is outside of us, if we do not know ourselves. Study your soul - that is your True You - which is reflected in your exterior personality. Our body is a projection of our soul. Know yourself, in order to live consciously and happily."

If there is one thing in this whole world I am truly gifted at, it is knowing and understanding and being curious about myself. Sometimes it comes in waves, and it definitely depends on who I am around and where I am living, but it's always of utmost importance to me. It's my main reason for writing and blogging. It's my main reason for traveling and learning other languages. It's what inspires me to dance.

And if there is one thing I know about myself, it is that thoughts are incredibly powerful, and I can be pretty good at purposefully shaping my thoughts in regards to certain things in life. Louise Hay, the lady who wrote "The Secret," wrote: "No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it." I have thought jobs, opportunities and people into existence... So why not think self-confidence into existence? Maybe that's what this last difficult moment was trying to show me. Maybe it's Orange Soda Version 3.3? Maybe all it would take is a tiny shift in perspective, just like so many other things?

On the surface I know it may seem ridiculous. How can your thoughts really change your world, right? But the thing is, once you shift your perspective, you start acting a little differently - often, without even noticing. You treat people a little differently, you notice things differently, you live a little differently... Until all these "little differently"s start to add up.

So in honor of the third week of the third month of the third year that Conor died, I'm going to take a (not so?!) itsy bitsy risk and try an experiment. I've lived my whole life feeling like there was something just intrinsically unlikable and repelling about me. I've felt that way ever since I can remember. So what if I willfully shift my perspective and start to purposefully think that there is something just intrinsically enchanting about me that causes people to adore me and feel happy when they are around me?

My whole WORLD would dramatically change!!! I would no longer walk into classrooms with an apologetic pause. I would no longer wait for somebody to text me back, wondering what I'd done or said to put them off. I would no longer avoid talking to people in authority positions. And I would no longer be shy when meeting new people. I would even be more open to practicing languages!

Literally. Every human interaction I have (save for a few people I've known long enough to know they adore me) would be dramatically altered.

And so the experiment shall commence tomorrow.
Why have I never thought to do this before!?

XOXO

160: Abby Bonding Day

It had been a good long while since Abby and I had had an Us day. And we were well past due for one! We woke up around the same time, lazily had breakfast and got ready for the day. We left the apartment a little after two in the afternoon to go on a walk around Alcalá with a bag of chuches, which is a type of gummy candy. They are a surprisingly big deal here and you can buy everywhere! Each kind is in an individual bin and you go around with tong and a plate or a bag and pick the ones you want. There are about thirty different favors and colors and shapes to choose from.

When it was finally time, we wandered over to Cafe Continental to set up shop and do some serious homework. She had a tea. I had a salmon tosta with a beer. We're clearly slightly different people. Haha! It's been a long time since I had a homework session in a cafe with a friend, and it was a really nice change of pace. :)

After we spent our necessary two hours homeworking, we went to the grocery store to buy ingredients for strawberry shortcake and caipirinha. ;) I think it's safe to say that we worked harder on our baking and cocktailing than we did on our homework. Haha! But boy did it pay off - the shortcakes were amazing and the caipirinha was delicious... So delicious that when Abby accidentally spilled hers on the counter and Katie yelled at her in her best sorority voice to lick that up and not waste a drop, she actully did it! Bahaha! Needless to say, she enjoyed the Justin Bieber SNL that much more. ;) hahaha!

XOXO

159: A Saturday to Myself

I have not had a day all to myself to do whatever I please since sometime in December. And so I vowed to make today as glorious as possible. :)

I woke up from my Tyan Gosling dream (in which we made out and then he told me it wasn't going to work out - to which I slapped him, before realizing he was right and he really wasn't my type, either) around noon and lounged in bed for a few minutes, enjoying the fuzziness of my amazing blanket and Wellington's snuggles. I turned on some Jack Johnson music and just laid there, blissfully content. :) When Abby came in, she jumped onto her bed and we both sat cross legged, sharing our dreams all giddy, like we used to. :)

Lazily, I got out of bed and put something on. I was on a mission, but a mission I didn't really want to go on. See, I had put off defuzzing for WEEKS, but I knew I couldn't last any longer. I'd been to two places in Alcalá, but they'd both since shut down, so I'd had to find a new one. The hardest part of defuzzing in a foreign country is the initial contact, because it is just so awkward. But the result was more than worth it.

My eyebrows have LITERALLY never looked so dashing in my whole life!! The woman worked magic on them! She only waxed for six or seven strips, and then plucked it all like a machine (!). I almost teared up at one point (oww) - but when it was all over and she gave me the mirror... DAMN!

You never think the shape of your eyebrows can dramatically change your attractiveness level (and, thus, self-confidence level) until you have a genius do them for you. Seriously. No exaggeration.

When I told her I loved them, she smiled and told me my eyebrows had a beautiful shape to them. :) Aestheticians in America say that to me all the time, but nobody in Spain ever has! I laughed and thanked her, but told her it really takes a lot of work to find that shape. Haha. She smiled and said, "But look at them now!"

I am ALWAYS going back to that lady! And she's just a few blocks from my house, too! ^_^ Yay!

After a quick trip back home, I was off again to my favorite breakfast croissant cafe in Alcalá for a little Saturday brunch. :) A chocolate croissant and HUGE glass of freshly squeezed orange juice (with a packet of sugar stirred in - man I love Spain!) later, I was feeling great.

Back at home it was time for a shower before embarking on my late afternoon journey to Madrid. Abby always makes our shower mixes, but since in discovered Grooveshark (thanks to a certain Brazilian or two), I realized I could start making shower playlists, too! A long, hot shower with Beats Antique, Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift, Juanes was exactly what we needed for an extravagant Saturday afternoon. :)

It took me forever to get ready and out the door, but when I did, I was dressed adorably (and very American) in my new sugar skull sweatshirt top, Sprinkles LA tank, PINK yoga pants, Betsey Johnson sweets socks and pink and gold sequence Chucks. ^_^ With my newly darkened hair and my dashing eyebrows, I was ready to go!

I'm sure this is hard to understand for anybody who has never lived outside of America, but giving yourself permission to dress like an American for just one day is a BIG DEAL. When I go out, I either try to dress European (leather boots, skinny jeans, top, leather jacket and scarf) or acknowledge I'm just going to wear my Uggs and crazy coat and know I will receive weird stares and feel a little guilty about it... So when I proclaim, "Eff it! I will dress like an American and in will take great pleasure in it!"... It just feels so liberating! ^_^

So is having freshly washed dark hair blow dried, brushed and down... But that is something that takes a significant amount of time and is only done for special occasions, like today. ;)

When I got into Madrid I began my search for jeans that actually fit. See, when I moved here I was significantly bigger than I currently (and usually) am. Significantly, as in two and a half jean sizes bigger. At this point, I'm lucky if I can get through a day without my pants threatening to fall off my butt completely. And so I've been searching for new jeans for the past few weeks - but it's been utterly fruitless. Jeans just aren't cute here. Sheesh.

But today I finally found the perfect pair. At long last. I can't do boring jeans. I just can't. And so I found some at my favorite store with little sugar skulls I them! And they fit my butt! ^_^ OMG YAY!

I celebrated my long-awaited purchase with a trip to my favorite cookie store in the Letters District. I got ten mini dark and white chocolate chip raspberry ones and gobbled them up in no time. I love that the owners there are French people living in Spain who speak English. Such an international couple! ^_^ Can't say I'd mind opening a bakery in a foreign country with a foreign husband someday. ;)

I was headed back to Sol when I saw people lining up along the street. I had no idea what was going on, so I walked slower, trying to eavesdrop on people's conversations. Eventually I figured out the Carnival parade was about to begin. I walked in circles for awhile, trying to decide if I wanted to stay, but ultimately I did and it was totally adorable! People on stilts, people juggling fire, crazy costumes, glitter being thrown everywhere! For randomly walking into it, it was beyond awesome! :)

And that leads me to where I am now. I walked up to Gran Via and down Fuencarral (with a stop at Kiko for some new nail polish) and to Malasaña to go to my new favorite spot in all of Madrid. ^_^ The vibe here is so alternative/cozy/chic... I am obsessed. Any guy that introduces me to a place like it his deserves a little of my respect. ;) It's like cafe meets bar with cake, tostas, a bar and coffees (and, even better, alcoholic coffees, too!). I've been here for the past hour or two drinking, eating and blogging. Can't think of a better way to spend my free Saturday night in one of Europe's coolest capitals. ;) I'm pretty sure I used to day dream of sitting in a quaint but popular cafe/bar writing and having a couple of drinks after a day of friends, cafes, beauty, culture and shopping!!

It's times like these that I remember just how cool I am and how grateful I am to get to be me! <3 Days like today are why I always wanted to move to Europe, and be jetset and wanderlust, and just take risks. :) In this moment, I can't say I'm the happiest I've ever been, but I can say that I feel an incredible sense of peace and contentment at this moment. Sometimes it hits me and it is just ridiculous to realize I'm just a girl from Colorado who found her way to Madrid, Spain and is living the life she always dreamed of! It makes me feel proud, brave and content... But it also makes me realize if I could accomplish this - something which years ago seemed like nothing more than a dreamy fairytale - what kinds of amazing things can I accomplish in the future!? And so I'm reminded of the quote, "Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger, darling."

Oh, I'm not. But how much more enchanted feeling can things get?!

XOXO