I'd woken up after noon feeling a little better, and we had a mini birthday celebration for my roomie with cake and singing and everything. I was just beginning to feel a little better and decided to go to my room to do a little work, when I got a message from Grandma.
She was on Facebook to IM me to tell me that Great Grandma had died last night. :(
My maternal grandpa died when I was about 4 years old, I think. And my paternal grandma died when I was about 7 years old, I think. But, other than that, I really haven't had a family member die. Friends, yes - but family - not in over 15 years. And so, I didn't really know how to take it...
All I knew is I felt sad. I didn't know what to say to Grandma to comfort her. I didn't know what I'd say to Sam, either. I wanted to say the right thing, but all I could do was sit in my bed and feel... sad.
I remember when I moved to Fond du Lac when I was 18 and one of the first things I did was go to Great Grandma's house to say hi. Some other relatives were there, too, and Sam was busy playing with some maps Great Grandma had given him to disctract him with. Great Grandma was asking me how my life was, and then asked if I still only ate garbanzo beans and still talked to my invisible friends. I was so embarassed, but at the time so impressed she remembered those things.
"Oh sure I remember them," she laughed. "It's all you ever talked about when you would come here!"
All I could do was giggle and turn red!! >_< Hahaha.
Growing up, I got to visit Grandma and Great Grandma during Christmas some years. Great Grandma would always take the whole family to a hotel for a few days to celebrate - and it was always AWESOME!!! ^_^
One year I'll never forget was when we went to the Heidel House in Green Lake, Wisconsin. I think it was probably one of my favorite Christmases ever. I remember I'd just been given my first boy doll (with certain anatomical features) and simply could not get over it. I'd insisted I bring it to the hotel and I remember showing EVERYBODY what was under that doll's diaper. I also remember everybody being very joyous and drinking the infamous Brandy Slushes, giggling as I showed my doll off. ^_^ Hahaha. Meg and Great Grandma were the ones who had the best off-handed remarks about it, and I remember that because, I distinctly remember not understanding what they were saying to me and everybody else laughing. I felt kinda stupid, but since everybody was so merry, I decided they were just trying to tell me they like my doll a lot, too. Hahaha. Knowing those two as I got older, though, I can only imagine what they actually said about that poor doll - hahahaha!!! :) That Christmas I also remember sparkly teddy bear jewelery, crammed car rides to get waffles, Gina getting hurt ice skating on the lake, swimming in a big pool and Great Grandma being at the center of it all, cracking jokes and smiling and playing cribbage and giggling with (and sometimes at) everybody!
I think the silliest memory I have, though, is more recent. I'd gone over to visit her right after I'd gotten back from Brazil. I'd brought her a little glass frog and told her some stories and she smiled and giggled the whole time! Then, some friends stopped by to see her, but when they noticed I was visiting, they said they'd come back another time. "Oh, no!" she said grandly. "Don't be silly! My great grand-daughter has just come to tell me about her adventures in Brazil! Come listen!" She and her friend then had a brag-off about their grand/great-grand kids. Every thing that poor lady would try to say, Great Grandma would one up her, bragging about me and my experiences. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever, and she said it all with such smug pride! ^_^ I LOVED IT!!! She winked at me when it was all over and she and I had decidely won. HAHAHA!! Anyway, she always loved hearing about my adventures and always made me feel like she was truly proud of whatever I did. <3
Great grandma was also great at telling really dirty jokes - which was always really awesome, because you'd just never expect such things to come out of such a sweet looking older lady... until they did!! ^_^ And it's not like she'd just say them to family - no, she'd say them to her doctors and everybody else... and I loved her "Hater's gonna hate!" mentality!!! Hahaha.
I've always felt very lucky to be able to call Great Grandma and Grandma and all of them my family. I always knew that, technically, I wasn't "blood related," and that none of them really had to treat me like I was one of them... but they always have and I've always felt like they are much more my true family than my actual "blood related" relatives. I loved the year that I got to live with Grandma and Sam, and we'd go out for dinners and drinks with Great Grandma, and spend holidays with the whole family. I truly felt included and loved in a way I never had before. <3
I'm so grateful for having been one of those lucky few who got to have a great grandma for so long, and had a great grandma who was hilarious and always made me feel proud about who I was. I know it seems strange, since I've almost always lived rather far from her and didn't get to see her much... but I really will miss her.
I hope that she'll be there to guide Sam just as Conor's been there to guide me... and that Sam can always feel her with him. I hope that lots of people surround Grandma with love, because she's usually the strong one for everyone, but I would guess that right now she needs other people to be the strong ones for her right now (and I'm afraid I'm much to far away to be of any real help... :-/). I hope that Grandma's right and that Great Grandma is somewhere right now having a drink, playing cards and telling more dirty jokes to unsuspecting souls! I hope that Conor greets her, because I think he'd love one of those drinks and a few of those jokes, too! ;)
All my love to Great Grandma, Grandma, Sam and the rest of my family. <3 <3 <3
XOXO
Lily, Me, Great Grandma & B on Great Grandma's birthday party in 2010. :)
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