I have been so loved today I don't even know what to do with myself - and from the most unexpected people for the most unexpected things! <3
Generally, I consider myself to be rather antisocial and extremely odd. Over the past year, I've come to really embrace that, but I still wonder what people must think about me! >_< I'm clearly one of those rare people who marches to the beat of her own nose-harmonica player... or something.
This morning when I woke up I had a nice little time with Marianna and her boyfriend, and we talked and she made me coffee to go with my puffed pancake! :)
Then, as I was gathering research for my thesis, I was going through my forum posts on my classes. When I went to read my posts, I realized other students and teachers had commented on almost half of them. I'd had no idea, as I'd never gone back and looked at my posts after I'd written them. I was absolutely STUNNED when I read what people had been writing me:
"You're always so inspirational. Haha. I've been having trouble with some
of my classes and hearing what you've had to say has inspired me to
start off the new week with a renewed outlook. So how do you suggest we
teach parents to listen?" - Leanne
"Chelsea, I chose to comment on your post this week because I am always
interested to hear your viewpoint. I think that you have a lot of
interesting points to say about most of the material we’ve read and
you’re not afraid to say what’s on your mind, which I appreciate. I
think this is how we ultimately learn best. ... I love what you’ve done with your classes. I completely agree with you
about children being people too, with their own opinions and valuable
contributions. I too, am frustrated everyday that a teacher complains on
and on about a student. They are a CHILD. They are supposed to act
differently, and maybe you can learn from them, and if they really are
doing something wrong then TEACH them how to do it right instead of
complaining about it. That’s our job right, teachers? Not people
putter-downers. Haha. Now you’ve got me riled up!! Thank you for being
so detailed in explaining some of the cool stuff that you’re doing in
your classes. It sounds like your students are very lucky to have you!" - Faithe
O_O
I had no idea that ANYBODY was reading my posts, much less commenting so sweetly on them. What?
Next, a student wrote me to tell me she'd read my blog post earlier today and it'd made her cry! Awww... <3 She then sent me a screenshot about her and a classmate talking about their assignment for their blog this week. I still am surprised that people do what I assign them to do (I wonder if I'll ever get over this amazement), much less are having a hoot talking about it on their WEEKEND. What strange, awesome people. Haha!
Then, as I was sitting here, I heard my roomies talking about me. I turned down my music to listen in and realized they were all camped at the kitchen table reading my Tumblr and laughing hysterically!! They told me they really liked it a lot! ^_^ YAY!
I haven't gotten quite as much concrete work done on my thesis as I'd hoped, but I have gather tons of ideas and thought about it quite a bit... all the parts have been put in my drop box so I can actually work on it all at school, too, for the next two weeks. Wheee!!!! :)
Anyway... today's only real giant unspoken goal was to change my perspective on this whole job thing. I'm not sure if there is even still a chance of me having a job at this school, or, if so, if there's a chance of me having a job with the students I already know. But I've spent so much time freaking out about it all and second guessing myself and generally drowning in the unknown that I had sufficiently began to feel like I wouldn't deserve it anyway.
But after today? That's all changed. Suddenly I saw myself as something more than just "weird." I saw myself as somebody who has great potential to really use my unique personality and perspectives to really make a difference.
From my excitement over all that I'm learning and putting together in my thesis to the comments from my classmates and teachers to the blogs from my students I've been reading all day long... I've gone from feeling like I definitely don't deserve this anyway to feeling like even though I may have the least amount of teaching experience compared to any other teacher there, I am seriously bubbling over with passion and enthusiasm and ideas! I have come to love all of these students soooooooo much that I would be willing to do absolutely anything to make them the best and happiest English speakers and learners that they can POSSIBLY be. I would spend all my weekends coming up with the most clever and creative lesson plans. I would make my classroom environment whimsical and supportive. I would transform their idea of learning into an amazing, adventurous game.
I've been stuck on how exactly to define my "teaching philosophy," but I think what it is is to make students not realize they're even learning. I want them to be so enthralled in it and having so much fun with it and have it relate to their lives so much that they grow to LOVE it. Because if they can learn to adjust their perspective at that young of an age, when they get to be my age and have to do a 50 page thesis in two weeks (yeah, okay so that's mostly my own fault...), they won't dread it, but instead see it as an exciting challenge! ;o) And, if they can see academics like that, imagine how they could view life.
Most teachers teach what the book says and done. I don't want to be that teacher. I couldn't even BE that teacher if I tried. I want to be the crazy weird awesome teacher that slyly inserts whatever I'm actually "supposed" to be teaching into a class where much bigger things about life are actually being learned and enjoyed.
So for the next two hours I'm going to work on my final draft of what I'm going to give the head mistress tomorrow. And I'm not going to write it out of fear or out of doubt. I'm going to write it out of love for my students and with faith in my unique perspective and style. I will give it my ALL and give it to her with all of the positive energy I have. If she takes it to heart, it will be the beginning of potentially one of the most life-changing adventures I've been on to date. If she doesn't, then I know that Conor has something else waiting somewhere and I just need to find it.
*deep breath*
XOXO
No comments:
Post a Comment