This is going to be pithy, because I NEED to thesis...
Today Pineapple almost cried in class thinking about how little amount of time remained. I laughed at her, but when I went in the teacher's lounge and found out that we only have three weeks left together instead of the four and a half I thought we had, I almost cried, too! >_< Brother.
Bachi class was wonderful as usual, and I asked them to all write a few comments about the blog project for my thesis. I made sure to make it anonymous and tell them they could write if they hated it or whatever - no problem. And so when I went to read all of their comments and they were all ridiculously glowing and positive (some of them even thanking me and claiming I was the best English teacher they'd ever had - ?!?!!?), I melted a little. Awww... my Bachis. <3
The more theory I read on bilingual education and language acquisition, the more I'm realizing that my silly little English classes with them might actually be a slice of pure brilliance... certainly without me doing it on purpose or even realizing it until now. See, Krashen (one of the most important language acquisition theorists - don't worry, you'll read more about him in my thesis... hahaha) has proven that learning grammar really doesn't do a whole lot for a person... what makes them really acquire a language and get proficient in it is something he calls "comprehensible input" - pieces of information in the target language which are relayed and understood by the learner. He has an entire theory which simply states that one best aquires communication through... yeah... communicating. But this only really pays off if the learning enviornment has low anxiety, encourages self-esteem and truly motivates students.
I don't mean to be pompous, but I'm pretty sure we just described the classes I have with my Bachis. ;)
Grammar is never even mentioned - all we really do is sit around and chat and work on their blogs and get the giggles about stuff. It's HIGHLY nontraditional, and studies are showing that the more nontraditional the foreign language class, the better! Not that I'm claiming to have known that... all I really did for the class was try to put myself in their shoes. I asked myself what I would have wanted had I gotten to have a native girl from Spain come to my Spanish class two hours a week when I was a Junior in high school. The only answer I really came up with was that I'd have wanted the girl to be cool and on our level... maybe teach us some slang and some cool cultural differences... but mostly just make us feel comfortable and awesome and free to be ourselves - in her language.
In the back of my mind, I've always tried to think, if any of these kids started dating an American kid in a year or two... would they be linguistically and culturally equipped to do so? That was my goal. I am a WEIRD teacher, but I'll be honest and say that was my sole goal. And I'm proud to say that I think most of them totally could rock a relationship with an American at this point. ;) Hell yeah they could! They might become annoyed by the American, depending on what kind of American they got (haha), but linguistically and culturally, I have faith they could keep up. :-P
Anyway, the second best part of my day was my private lesson with Picasso!!! When I
started classes with him a few months ago, even his teacher told me he
was a bit of a hopeless case. But I refused to listen. Some days were a little more worrisome than others, but holy crap that kid has come a long ways! Today we were discussing PRODUCERS, CONSUMERS WHOLESALERS AND RETAILERS. And you know what? He had that crap down better than I did! I asked him if he could explain them to me, and he just sat there. I wasn't surprised, really. But then, all of a sudden, he got up, rearranged somethings, and put on a mini one-man theatrical play about it. HOLY CRAP DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He even managed to insert a joke about "Where's the house? By the warehouse!"
HAhahahhah. I laughed so hard. I didn't even think of that one.
We then got to transport. When the book said airplanes were public transport and not private, I squeaked in disagreement. Picasso smiled at me and explained (in English of course) that he'd thought that was totally incorrect, too, but his teacher had shut him down. I told him tomorrow in class I'd have it out with her and get to the bottom of it. He laughed.
He's so cool.
But when we had five minutes left and he still had two workbook pages ('cause we'd spent the whole hour going over the whole chapter and discussing it and acting it out and giggling about it - actually, time very well spent, in all), I knew it wasn't going to happen. Instead of telling him to do it, I asked if he was ready to go for it. He said no at first, but I realized it was just because he was clearing a work space free of distractions. Then, all of a sudden, he just started GOING CRAZY FAST.
HE GOT THE WHOLE THING FINISHED IN THOSE FIVE MINUTES - NO ERRORS AT ALL.
HOLY CRAP, DUDE.
When I asked him what that was all about, he said, simply, "Well, we were in a hurry, right?"
O_O
Dude... what??? How... how did you get so awesome??? o_O
Man, if his teachers could have seen him in that moment, they would have SHIT their pants. No joke. The word "shit" is necessary here.
His teachers always said he was capable of it, but didn't know how to get him to work.
And then I come along... not really trying all too hard... and BOOM.
I'm glad he did it for me and not for them, though... because they would have SCREAMED at him for not having done it earlier in the year... whereas I was just amused and taken aback and thinking he was awesome. Way to fool those MoFos (sorry - again, necessary) for so long, kid! I tip my hat to 'ya. You really had some of them thinking that you actually had learning disorders and crap... but nah... they just didn't get you.
Heh.
I love kids like that.
Way to show up those adults. Make 'em look like fools.
Sometimes I think I should not be a teacher. Because this is how I think. But other times, I think, this is EXACTLY why I make such a GOOD teacher. ;)
THESIS TIME.
XOXO
Monday, May 27, 2013
Weekend 264 & 265: Happy Thesising!
Blogs this week are going to be deceivingly short... because I have to THESIS!!! It's due Friday night, so I actually have to get my rear in gear and get this DONE.
I'm not going to lie - a not so tiny part of my is a little freaked thinking this could be my last academic paper. I LOVE WRITING ACADEMIC PAPERS. I know I get all freaked out and stressed about them... but in the end, I love it. It gives me a weird high. I feel most authentically like myself when I'm doing it. I've developed a system that works over the years, and I'm really great at it. I've come to embrace my procrastination and to see it as my muse. I've seen my multitasking to be beneficial time my creativity needs to think without being noticed.
It's definitely not hit me yet that there's only one month left of this journey. As of July 2nd, no more apartment, no more Abby, no more roomies, no more school, no more Bachis, no more 3A, no more... anything that makes my life my life right now, actually... O_O
Of course, the weirdest part (as it always is with me), is that none of this freaks me out. Actually, I'm in love with the notion that I have no idea what comes next. That everything will change. I'm so excited.
But leaving my kids will be sad. I know I'm gonna pull a Miss Pineapple and I'm going to cry like a baby. I love those little kids. I really, truly, LOVE them. If I could be their teacher for forever, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not sure how much I've taught them this year, when all's said and done... but the amount they've taught me is incredible.
When I got to Spain in September, I felt so very small. I felt like nobody. I felt like I didn't really matter to anybody. I felt like hollow. Portland had used up all the spirit I had and spit me out with my little soul just barely hanging on for dear life.
But these kids... these kids and their cheers when I enter the room... each and every week. They way they run up and hug me at recess like I'm some sort of enchanted princess. They way they talk to me like I'm somebody so very important to them, and like I'm one of the few who actually understands them. Their smiles and giggles when I act like myself -- that me I was always so ashamed of being.
These kids have filled me with so much love and appreciation that I can't help but adore myself again. <3
On the second week of teaching, I wrote in this blog that it really wasn't for me; I saw it as a glorified babysitting position and I resented it. Looking back at what I wrote is so funny to me now, because I feel just the opposite. I feel like I've never really known where I fit nor found many people who really understood and appreciated me for me... but after this year, I've finally figured it out... at least for now! :)
After my thesis is complete, I'm going to be putting in all of my extra time and energy into writing each and every kid I've had a personal note. That's 275 letters. But I don't mind. They deserve to be thanked and told how much I adore them back and how wonderful they are, too. I can't wait to write them, actually! It might even be more fun (and certainly more work) than my thesis!
I know this is thesis isn't the last big piece of writing I'll ever do - in fact, it may be the first of many, really. And I know these kids won't be the last kids I'll ever teach - but they're my first... and that's what makes them so special. <3
XOXO
I'm not going to lie - a not so tiny part of my is a little freaked thinking this could be my last academic paper. I LOVE WRITING ACADEMIC PAPERS. I know I get all freaked out and stressed about them... but in the end, I love it. It gives me a weird high. I feel most authentically like myself when I'm doing it. I've developed a system that works over the years, and I'm really great at it. I've come to embrace my procrastination and to see it as my muse. I've seen my multitasking to be beneficial time my creativity needs to think without being noticed.
It's definitely not hit me yet that there's only one month left of this journey. As of July 2nd, no more apartment, no more Abby, no more roomies, no more school, no more Bachis, no more 3A, no more... anything that makes my life my life right now, actually... O_O
Of course, the weirdest part (as it always is with me), is that none of this freaks me out. Actually, I'm in love with the notion that I have no idea what comes next. That everything will change. I'm so excited.
But leaving my kids will be sad. I know I'm gonna pull a Miss Pineapple and I'm going to cry like a baby. I love those little kids. I really, truly, LOVE them. If I could be their teacher for forever, I would do it in a heartbeat. I'm not sure how much I've taught them this year, when all's said and done... but the amount they've taught me is incredible.
When I got to Spain in September, I felt so very small. I felt like nobody. I felt like I didn't really matter to anybody. I felt like hollow. Portland had used up all the spirit I had and spit me out with my little soul just barely hanging on for dear life.
But these kids... these kids and their cheers when I enter the room... each and every week. They way they run up and hug me at recess like I'm some sort of enchanted princess. They way they talk to me like I'm somebody so very important to them, and like I'm one of the few who actually understands them. Their smiles and giggles when I act like myself -- that me I was always so ashamed of being.
These kids have filled me with so much love and appreciation that I can't help but adore myself again. <3
On the second week of teaching, I wrote in this blog that it really wasn't for me; I saw it as a glorified babysitting position and I resented it. Looking back at what I wrote is so funny to me now, because I feel just the opposite. I feel like I've never really known where I fit nor found many people who really understood and appreciated me for me... but after this year, I've finally figured it out... at least for now! :)
After my thesis is complete, I'm going to be putting in all of my extra time and energy into writing each and every kid I've had a personal note. That's 275 letters. But I don't mind. They deserve to be thanked and told how much I adore them back and how wonderful they are, too. I can't wait to write them, actually! It might even be more fun (and certainly more work) than my thesis!
I know this is thesis isn't the last big piece of writing I'll ever do - in fact, it may be the first of many, really. And I know these kids won't be the last kids I'll ever teach - but they're my first... and that's what makes them so special. <3
XOXO
Friday, May 24, 2013
Day 263: Great Grandma
I was so miserable by the time I got home last night that I made up my mind I just wouldn't go to school this morning. It's the second sick day I've taken ever at this school, but I really needed it. I felt like CRAP - and the knowledge that I'm allergic to some allergy medicine had me too nervous to try to take anything for it. I have a thesis to do this weekend, and I can't be this sick and accomplish all that I need to do! >_<
I'd woken up after noon feeling a little better, and we had a mini birthday celebration for my roomie with cake and singing and everything. I was just beginning to feel a little better and decided to go to my room to do a little work, when I got a message from Grandma.
She was on Facebook to IM me to tell me that Great Grandma had died last night. :(
My maternal grandpa died when I was about 4 years old, I think. And my paternal grandma died when I was about 7 years old, I think. But, other than that, I really haven't had a family member die. Friends, yes - but family - not in over 15 years. And so, I didn't really know how to take it...
All I knew is I felt sad. I didn't know what to say to Grandma to comfort her. I didn't know what I'd say to Sam, either. I wanted to say the right thing, but all I could do was sit in my bed and feel... sad.
I remember when I moved to Fond du Lac when I was 18 and one of the first things I did was go to Great Grandma's house to say hi. Some other relatives were there, too, and Sam was busy playing with some maps Great Grandma had given him to disctract him with. Great Grandma was asking me how my life was, and then asked if I still only ate garbanzo beans and still talked to my invisible friends. I was so embarassed, but at the time so impressed she remembered those things.
"Oh sure I remember them," she laughed. "It's all you ever talked about when you would come here!"
All I could do was giggle and turn red!! >_< Hahaha.
Growing up, I got to visit Grandma and Great Grandma during Christmas some years. Great Grandma would always take the whole family to a hotel for a few days to celebrate - and it was always AWESOME!!! ^_^
One year I'll never forget was when we went to the Heidel House in Green Lake, Wisconsin. I think it was probably one of my favorite Christmases ever. I remember I'd just been given my first boy doll (with certain anatomical features) and simply could not get over it. I'd insisted I bring it to the hotel and I remember showing EVERYBODY what was under that doll's diaper. I also remember everybody being very joyous and drinking the infamous Brandy Slushes, giggling as I showed my doll off. ^_^ Hahaha. Meg and Great Grandma were the ones who had the best off-handed remarks about it, and I remember that because, I distinctly remember not understanding what they were saying to me and everybody else laughing. I felt kinda stupid, but since everybody was so merry, I decided they were just trying to tell me they like my doll a lot, too. Hahaha. Knowing those two as I got older, though, I can only imagine what they actually said about that poor doll - hahahaha!!! :) That Christmas I also remember sparkly teddy bear jewelery, crammed car rides to get waffles, Gina getting hurt ice skating on the lake, swimming in a big pool and Great Grandma being at the center of it all, cracking jokes and smiling and playing cribbage and giggling with (and sometimes at) everybody!
I think the silliest memory I have, though, is more recent. I'd gone over to visit her right after I'd gotten back from Brazil. I'd brought her a little glass frog and told her some stories and she smiled and giggled the whole time! Then, some friends stopped by to see her, but when they noticed I was visiting, they said they'd come back another time. "Oh, no!" she said grandly. "Don't be silly! My great grand-daughter has just come to tell me about her adventures in Brazil! Come listen!" She and her friend then had a brag-off about their grand/great-grand kids. Every thing that poor lady would try to say, Great Grandma would one up her, bragging about me and my experiences. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever, and she said it all with such smug pride! ^_^ I LOVED IT!!! She winked at me when it was all over and she and I had decidely won. HAHAHA!! Anyway, she always loved hearing about my adventures and always made me feel like she was truly proud of whatever I did. <3
Great grandma was also great at telling really dirty jokes - which was always really awesome, because you'd just never expect such things to come out of such a sweet looking older lady... until they did!! ^_^ And it's not like she'd just say them to family - no, she'd say them to her doctors and everybody else... and I loved her "Hater's gonna hate!" mentality!!! Hahaha.
I've always felt very lucky to be able to call Great Grandma and Grandma and all of them my family. I always knew that, technically, I wasn't "blood related," and that none of them really had to treat me like I was one of them... but they always have and I've always felt like they are much more my true family than my actual "blood related" relatives. I loved the year that I got to live with Grandma and Sam, and we'd go out for dinners and drinks with Great Grandma, and spend holidays with the whole family. I truly felt included and loved in a way I never had before. <3
I'm so grateful for having been one of those lucky few who got to have a great grandma for so long, and had a great grandma who was hilarious and always made me feel proud about who I was. I know it seems strange, since I've almost always lived rather far from her and didn't get to see her much... but I really will miss her.
I hope that she'll be there to guide Sam just as Conor's been there to guide me... and that Sam can always feel her with him. I hope that lots of people surround Grandma with love, because she's usually the strong one for everyone, but I would guess that right now she needs other people to be the strong ones for her right now (and I'm afraid I'm much to far away to be of any real help... :-/). I hope that Grandma's right and that Great Grandma is somewhere right now having a drink, playing cards and telling more dirty jokes to unsuspecting souls! I hope that Conor greets her, because I think he'd love one of those drinks and a few of those jokes, too! ;)
All my love to Great Grandma, Grandma, Sam and the rest of my family. <3 <3 <3
XOXO
I'd woken up after noon feeling a little better, and we had a mini birthday celebration for my roomie with cake and singing and everything. I was just beginning to feel a little better and decided to go to my room to do a little work, when I got a message from Grandma.
She was on Facebook to IM me to tell me that Great Grandma had died last night. :(
My maternal grandpa died when I was about 4 years old, I think. And my paternal grandma died when I was about 7 years old, I think. But, other than that, I really haven't had a family member die. Friends, yes - but family - not in over 15 years. And so, I didn't really know how to take it...
All I knew is I felt sad. I didn't know what to say to Grandma to comfort her. I didn't know what I'd say to Sam, either. I wanted to say the right thing, but all I could do was sit in my bed and feel... sad.
I remember when I moved to Fond du Lac when I was 18 and one of the first things I did was go to Great Grandma's house to say hi. Some other relatives were there, too, and Sam was busy playing with some maps Great Grandma had given him to disctract him with. Great Grandma was asking me how my life was, and then asked if I still only ate garbanzo beans and still talked to my invisible friends. I was so embarassed, but at the time so impressed she remembered those things.
"Oh sure I remember them," she laughed. "It's all you ever talked about when you would come here!"
All I could do was giggle and turn red!! >_< Hahaha.
Growing up, I got to visit Grandma and Great Grandma during Christmas some years. Great Grandma would always take the whole family to a hotel for a few days to celebrate - and it was always AWESOME!!! ^_^
One year I'll never forget was when we went to the Heidel House in Green Lake, Wisconsin. I think it was probably one of my favorite Christmases ever. I remember I'd just been given my first boy doll (with certain anatomical features) and simply could not get over it. I'd insisted I bring it to the hotel and I remember showing EVERYBODY what was under that doll's diaper. I also remember everybody being very joyous and drinking the infamous Brandy Slushes, giggling as I showed my doll off. ^_^ Hahaha. Meg and Great Grandma were the ones who had the best off-handed remarks about it, and I remember that because, I distinctly remember not understanding what they were saying to me and everybody else laughing. I felt kinda stupid, but since everybody was so merry, I decided they were just trying to tell me they like my doll a lot, too. Hahaha. Knowing those two as I got older, though, I can only imagine what they actually said about that poor doll - hahahaha!!! :) That Christmas I also remember sparkly teddy bear jewelery, crammed car rides to get waffles, Gina getting hurt ice skating on the lake, swimming in a big pool and Great Grandma being at the center of it all, cracking jokes and smiling and playing cribbage and giggling with (and sometimes at) everybody!
I think the silliest memory I have, though, is more recent. I'd gone over to visit her right after I'd gotten back from Brazil. I'd brought her a little glass frog and told her some stories and she smiled and giggled the whole time! Then, some friends stopped by to see her, but when they noticed I was visiting, they said they'd come back another time. "Oh, no!" she said grandly. "Don't be silly! My great grand-daughter has just come to tell me about her adventures in Brazil! Come listen!" She and her friend then had a brag-off about their grand/great-grand kids. Every thing that poor lady would try to say, Great Grandma would one up her, bragging about me and my experiences. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever, and she said it all with such smug pride! ^_^ I LOVED IT!!! She winked at me when it was all over and she and I had decidely won. HAHAHA!! Anyway, she always loved hearing about my adventures and always made me feel like she was truly proud of whatever I did. <3
Great grandma was also great at telling really dirty jokes - which was always really awesome, because you'd just never expect such things to come out of such a sweet looking older lady... until they did!! ^_^ And it's not like she'd just say them to family - no, she'd say them to her doctors and everybody else... and I loved her "Hater's gonna hate!" mentality!!! Hahaha.
I've always felt very lucky to be able to call Great Grandma and Grandma and all of them my family. I always knew that, technically, I wasn't "blood related," and that none of them really had to treat me like I was one of them... but they always have and I've always felt like they are much more my true family than my actual "blood related" relatives. I loved the year that I got to live with Grandma and Sam, and we'd go out for dinners and drinks with Great Grandma, and spend holidays with the whole family. I truly felt included and loved in a way I never had before. <3
I'm so grateful for having been one of those lucky few who got to have a great grandma for so long, and had a great grandma who was hilarious and always made me feel proud about who I was. I know it seems strange, since I've almost always lived rather far from her and didn't get to see her much... but I really will miss her.
I hope that she'll be there to guide Sam just as Conor's been there to guide me... and that Sam can always feel her with him. I hope that lots of people surround Grandma with love, because she's usually the strong one for everyone, but I would guess that right now she needs other people to be the strong ones for her right now (and I'm afraid I'm much to far away to be of any real help... :-/). I hope that Grandma's right and that Great Grandma is somewhere right now having a drink, playing cards and telling more dirty jokes to unsuspecting souls! I hope that Conor greets her, because I think he'd love one of those drinks and a few of those jokes, too! ;)
All my love to Great Grandma, Grandma, Sam and the rest of my family. <3 <3 <3
XOXO
Lily, Me, Great Grandma & B on Great Grandma's birthday party in 2010. :)
Day 262: I Don't Wanna Be a Chicken
And today sucked.
My school is literally in the middle of a field. Which is kinda a cool setting for a school, until allergy season rolls around. Half of the little kids in my school are coughing with runny noses and puffy eyes so big they can barely see. It's so sad!!! :(
But what's also sad is the fact that I'm suffering just as badly as they are!!! >_< *COMPLAIN!*
The only reason I got through my private lessons tonight was because of Mr. Nachoman. First, he'd gotten a new jump rope, and one that was bigger so that I could use it easier! :) I'd taught him the first week of the jump roping fad at school how to do a cross while jumping, and he had worked his butt off to do it half as well as me. A month later, and now he can do it backwards, frontwards, on one leg, etc. He wanted me to show him my moves again today, but I was tooooooo sick. I tried hard, but messed up every time, and finally his mom told him I couldn't breathe. He wouldn't take no for an answer, though, and told me he knew I could do it. When I finally did the cross without tripping, he cheered! :) Aww! <3
Then, at home, when he was changing out of his school clothes and asked me to sing him a song that he didn't know. I tried to sing "I Can Do Anything Better Than You Can," which is his class' song for the Summer Festival, and which we practiced on Tuesday for half an hour, but he wasn't having it. He wanted a new one. My head being so stuffy and full of allergy snot juice, it was way difficult to think of any... and the only one that came to me was...
"I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a duck.
So I shake my butt!
Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom."
Yep.
I sang it over and over again. And then started lacklusterly doing the dance, too. He seemed appeased by it, so I just kept going for a good five minutes while he got changed and went to the bathroom and stuff. When he came back, he was SINGING IT TO HIMSELF. WHAT THE HELL!!?! And with perfect pronounciation, to boot!
What happened next was a 35 minute "I don't wanna be a chicken" dance-off. I kid you not. He went and got dressed up in one of his mom's dresses (she had left us at home alone while she went grocery shopping, and when she came home, she was NOT amused - hahah, I tried to tell him - CRAP) and we made up a Flamenco dance to the song. Somehow. Don't ask me how. It was actually kinda good, though! HA!
At the end of it all, I asked if even even knew what the song meant. I thought he didn't hear my question, because he didn't say anything for a second. But, all of a sudden, he just sang the whole thing in Spanish - perfectly. It made him giggle, and it shocked the shit out me.
Why are 7 year olds so smart?!!
After our song and dance, we sat on the floor and just chatted. We'd never done anything like that before, and it was really cool. We had a 15 minute conversation about school and other things and I totally forgot that he wasn't just another native-English speaking kid. O_O Damn!
My school is literally in the middle of a field. Which is kinda a cool setting for a school, until allergy season rolls around. Half of the little kids in my school are coughing with runny noses and puffy eyes so big they can barely see. It's so sad!!! :(
But what's also sad is the fact that I'm suffering just as badly as they are!!! >_< *COMPLAIN!*
The only reason I got through my private lessons tonight was because of Mr. Nachoman. First, he'd gotten a new jump rope, and one that was bigger so that I could use it easier! :) I'd taught him the first week of the jump roping fad at school how to do a cross while jumping, and he had worked his butt off to do it half as well as me. A month later, and now he can do it backwards, frontwards, on one leg, etc. He wanted me to show him my moves again today, but I was tooooooo sick. I tried hard, but messed up every time, and finally his mom told him I couldn't breathe. He wouldn't take no for an answer, though, and told me he knew I could do it. When I finally did the cross without tripping, he cheered! :) Aww! <3
Then, at home, when he was changing out of his school clothes and asked me to sing him a song that he didn't know. I tried to sing "I Can Do Anything Better Than You Can," which is his class' song for the Summer Festival, and which we practiced on Tuesday for half an hour, but he wasn't having it. He wanted a new one. My head being so stuffy and full of allergy snot juice, it was way difficult to think of any... and the only one that came to me was...
"I don't wanna be a chicken.
I don't wanna be a duck.
So I shake my butt!
Boom. Boom. Boom. Boom."
Yep.
I sang it over and over again. And then started lacklusterly doing the dance, too. He seemed appeased by it, so I just kept going for a good five minutes while he got changed and went to the bathroom and stuff. When he came back, he was SINGING IT TO HIMSELF. WHAT THE HELL!!?! And with perfect pronounciation, to boot!
What happened next was a 35 minute "I don't wanna be a chicken" dance-off. I kid you not. He went and got dressed up in one of his mom's dresses (she had left us at home alone while she went grocery shopping, and when she came home, she was NOT amused - hahah, I tried to tell him - CRAP) and we made up a Flamenco dance to the song. Somehow. Don't ask me how. It was actually kinda good, though! HA!
At the end of it all, I asked if even even knew what the song meant. I thought he didn't hear my question, because he didn't say anything for a second. But, all of a sudden, he just sang the whole thing in Spanish - perfectly. It made him giggle, and it shocked the shit out me.
Why are 7 year olds so smart?!!
After our song and dance, we sat on the floor and just chatted. We'd never done anything like that before, and it was really cool. We had a 15 minute conversation about school and other things and I totally forgot that he wasn't just another native-English speaking kid. O_O Damn!
Day 261: Wednesday. Not much to say.
The best part of today was definitely talking to my Bachis - both during class and after out on the patio. They are pretty much my favorite teenagers ever. ;)
The worst part of today was finding out that I'd practically make the same amount of money working for my school, as I would doing the government teaching program - only at my school, I'd work more than double the hours! >_< After this news and talking to Pineapple, I decided I would lean towards taking the government teaching job - and then I got the email. My placement is in a school in Alcala.
>_<
NO!!!!!!
I want to live in the CITY!!! And be URBANE!!!! And buy a VESPA!!!!! RAWR!!!!
I emailed the program to see if I can change it - and man do I hope I can!!!! >_<
XOXO
The worst part of today was finding out that I'd practically make the same amount of money working for my school, as I would doing the government teaching program - only at my school, I'd work more than double the hours! >_< After this news and talking to Pineapple, I decided I would lean towards taking the government teaching job - and then I got the email. My placement is in a school in Alcala.
>_<
NO!!!!!!
I want to live in the CITY!!! And be URBANE!!!! And buy a VESPA!!!!! RAWR!!!!
I emailed the program to see if I can change it - and man do I hope I can!!!! >_<
XOXO
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Day 260: Waiting....
Lately, I've had trouble falling asleep because I'm starting to get a little antsy about not having concrete plans past six weeks from now... So, just so I have them written down, here are some very rough possibilities:
1) I get the summer camp job at my school, as well as a full time position there next year in a department I am passionate about. This would give me only August off.
2) I get the summer position, but decide to work in the government program in the fall. This would give me August and September off.
3) I don't get the summer position, but I do teach at my school in the fall. This would give me July and August off.
4) I don't do the summer camp nor stay with my school, and go with the government teaching job. Taos would give me July-September off.
Financially, option one is the best. Enjoyment wise, two or three would be lovely. Temporary mode would be if four turned out to be what happened, as I would need to come up with a summer job ASAP!!!!
If 1-3 happen, my plan is to divide my time between visiting Kirsten and Sebastian in Berlin, Germany... visiting Lili in London, England for the West Coast Swing intensive workshop and competition (OMG!!!!) and visiting Marianna in Turin, Italy. ^_^ Then, I wouldn't need to lease a place nor pay rent, and I could be out with friends exploring and relaxing!
I know that no matter what happens, it will all turn out to be an adventure, but this waiting is making me a little crazier than I generally can handle. Sheesh! :-P
XOXO
1) I get the summer camp job at my school, as well as a full time position there next year in a department I am passionate about. This would give me only August off.
2) I get the summer position, but decide to work in the government program in the fall. This would give me August and September off.
3) I don't get the summer position, but I do teach at my school in the fall. This would give me July and August off.
4) I don't do the summer camp nor stay with my school, and go with the government teaching job. Taos would give me July-September off.
Financially, option one is the best. Enjoyment wise, two or three would be lovely. Temporary mode would be if four turned out to be what happened, as I would need to come up with a summer job ASAP!!!!
If 1-3 happen, my plan is to divide my time between visiting Kirsten and Sebastian in Berlin, Germany... visiting Lili in London, England for the West Coast Swing intensive workshop and competition (OMG!!!!) and visiting Marianna in Turin, Italy. ^_^ Then, I wouldn't need to lease a place nor pay rent, and I could be out with friends exploring and relaxing!
I know that no matter what happens, it will all turn out to be an adventure, but this waiting is making me a little crazier than I generally can handle. Sheesh! :-P
XOXO
Day 259: A Lovely Monday (!)
As I went to go to my first class of the day with my Bachis, the head mistress stopped me and asked to see me in her office. I was hoping that the news had finally come and I would find out if I had a job! But when I went into her office, she quickly told me she just needed me to substitute for the first two hours of the day. Normally, I love subbing, but not when it means missing two of my most favorite classes of the week... :-/ When I left after spending five minutes with my Bachis before subbing, their teacher told me that they'd all really miss me - and their puppy dog eyes proved that she wasn't just saying that. Awww...!!! <3 I wonder if any of my favorite teachers ever loved me as much as I love my Bachis?????? :-P
I was about to leave when she told me that she had talked to the director and that I should stop by his office to talk with him later.
!!!!!!!!
All day I tried to find him in his office and free to talk, but it didn't happen until the last five minutes of the day, which is all the time that was really needed. The conversation basically went that there was a possibility of me working at the summer camp in July and of working as a full teacher next year, but that it would depend on a lot of other factors. I did make it known that I would very much prefer to work with any of the students I'd already come to adore, rather than stating fresh with kindergarteners that I neither knew nor had experience with. He said ideally he would love to match up my desires and abilities with availability, but that he had no guarantees. He then said that I should think about the offer and come back on Friday to further discuss it.
Ummmmm... What else needs to be discussed??? If I could do anything, I would want to teach in Primary and in Bachillerato... And I'd want full freedom to design the lesson plans and curriculum. But, I'm pretty sure as a first year teacher at 24 years old, I can't just inform them of that... >_< Lame.
Anyway, I need to really work on that booklet to give to the head mistress, and have her discuss it with the director, and go back Friday or Monday after HE has had time to think it all over. Sheesh.
My crazy desire to work at this school has subsided a bit, as the reality might turn out to be I'd make a lot more money working for the government, and I'd only be putting in16 hour webs, 4 days a week, rather than 30 hour weeks, plus transportation, at five days per week. I'd love to have my own class, but only with students old enough to think for themselves. ;)
After school and private classes, I went to the store for dinner and found double stuffed Oreos on sale for by one get one half off!!! Wow!!! Needless to say, I bought six packs. ;) They're what fuel my thesis writing - haha!
As I was walking out of the store, Oreos in one arm, wine and butter and white chocolate in the other, I heard a girl burst out laughing as I tried to balance I all. I swung my head around to glare t this person when I realized it was Abby!!! Yay!!! "Only MY roommate would be carrying these things out of a grocery store..." she giggled. We then made a plan for a roomie bonding night and went home and ate dinner, made more strawberry shortcake, drank our bottles of wine, and watched 1.25 episodes of SNL!!!!!!
Yay!!!!!! I've desperately missed roomie bonding nights!!!!!!!! <3
Overall, I pretty decent Monday. ^_^ Woot! When's the last time I liked a Monday?!?!?! Sweet!
XOXO
I was about to leave when she told me that she had talked to the director and that I should stop by his office to talk with him later.
!!!!!!!!
All day I tried to find him in his office and free to talk, but it didn't happen until the last five minutes of the day, which is all the time that was really needed. The conversation basically went that there was a possibility of me working at the summer camp in July and of working as a full teacher next year, but that it would depend on a lot of other factors. I did make it known that I would very much prefer to work with any of the students I'd already come to adore, rather than stating fresh with kindergarteners that I neither knew nor had experience with. He said ideally he would love to match up my desires and abilities with availability, but that he had no guarantees. He then said that I should think about the offer and come back on Friday to further discuss it.
Ummmmm... What else needs to be discussed??? If I could do anything, I would want to teach in Primary and in Bachillerato... And I'd want full freedom to design the lesson plans and curriculum. But, I'm pretty sure as a first year teacher at 24 years old, I can't just inform them of that... >_< Lame.
Anyway, I need to really work on that booklet to give to the head mistress, and have her discuss it with the director, and go back Friday or Monday after HE has had time to think it all over. Sheesh.
My crazy desire to work at this school has subsided a bit, as the reality might turn out to be I'd make a lot more money working for the government, and I'd only be putting in16 hour webs, 4 days a week, rather than 30 hour weeks, plus transportation, at five days per week. I'd love to have my own class, but only with students old enough to think for themselves. ;)
After school and private classes, I went to the store for dinner and found double stuffed Oreos on sale for by one get one half off!!! Wow!!! Needless to say, I bought six packs. ;) They're what fuel my thesis writing - haha!
As I was walking out of the store, Oreos in one arm, wine and butter and white chocolate in the other, I heard a girl burst out laughing as I tried to balance I all. I swung my head around to glare t this person when I realized it was Abby!!! Yay!!! "Only MY roommate would be carrying these things out of a grocery store..." she giggled. We then made a plan for a roomie bonding night and went home and ate dinner, made more strawberry shortcake, drank our bottles of wine, and watched 1.25 episodes of SNL!!!!!!
Yay!!!!!! I've desperately missed roomie bonding nights!!!!!!!! <3
Overall, I pretty decent Monday. ^_^ Woot! When's the last time I liked a Monday?!?!?! Sweet!
XOXO
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Day 258 (Part II): Loved
I have been so loved today I don't even know what to do with myself - and from the most unexpected people for the most unexpected things! <3
Generally, I consider myself to be rather antisocial and extremely odd. Over the past year, I've come to really embrace that, but I still wonder what people must think about me! >_< I'm clearly one of those rare people who marches to the beat of her own nose-harmonica player... or something.
This morning when I woke up I had a nice little time with Marianna and her boyfriend, and we talked and she made me coffee to go with my puffed pancake! :)
Then, as I was gathering research for my thesis, I was going through my forum posts on my classes. When I went to read my posts, I realized other students and teachers had commented on almost half of them. I'd had no idea, as I'd never gone back and looked at my posts after I'd written them. I was absolutely STUNNED when I read what people had been writing me:
"You're always so inspirational. Haha. I've been having trouble with some of my classes and hearing what you've had to say has inspired me to start off the new week with a renewed outlook. So how do you suggest we teach parents to listen?" - Leanne
"Chelsea, I chose to comment on your post this week because I am always interested to hear your viewpoint. I think that you have a lot of interesting points to say about most of the material we’ve read and you’re not afraid to say what’s on your mind, which I appreciate. I think this is how we ultimately learn best. ... I love what you’ve done with your classes. I completely agree with you about children being people too, with their own opinions and valuable contributions. I too, am frustrated everyday that a teacher complains on and on about a student. They are a CHILD. They are supposed to act differently, and maybe you can learn from them, and if they really are doing something wrong then TEACH them how to do it right instead of complaining about it. That’s our job right, teachers? Not people putter-downers. Haha. Now you’ve got me riled up!! Thank you for being so detailed in explaining some of the cool stuff that you’re doing in your classes. It sounds like your students are very lucky to have you!" - Faithe
O_O
I had no idea that ANYBODY was reading my posts, much less commenting so sweetly on them. What?
Next, a student wrote me to tell me she'd read my blog post earlier today and it'd made her cry! Awww... <3 She then sent me a screenshot about her and a classmate talking about their assignment for their blog this week. I still am surprised that people do what I assign them to do (I wonder if I'll ever get over this amazement), much less are having a hoot talking about it on their WEEKEND. What strange, awesome people. Haha!
Then, as I was sitting here, I heard my roomies talking about me. I turned down my music to listen in and realized they were all camped at the kitchen table reading my Tumblr and laughing hysterically!! They told me they really liked it a lot! ^_^ YAY!
I haven't gotten quite as much concrete work done on my thesis as I'd hoped, but I have gather tons of ideas and thought about it quite a bit... all the parts have been put in my drop box so I can actually work on it all at school, too, for the next two weeks. Wheee!!!! :)
Anyway... today's only real giant unspoken goal was to change my perspective on this whole job thing. I'm not sure if there is even still a chance of me having a job at this school, or, if so, if there's a chance of me having a job with the students I already know. But I've spent so much time freaking out about it all and second guessing myself and generally drowning in the unknown that I had sufficiently began to feel like I wouldn't deserve it anyway.
But after today? That's all changed. Suddenly I saw myself as something more than just "weird." I saw myself as somebody who has great potential to really use my unique personality and perspectives to really make a difference.
From my excitement over all that I'm learning and putting together in my thesis to the comments from my classmates and teachers to the blogs from my students I've been reading all day long... I've gone from feeling like I definitely don't deserve this anyway to feeling like even though I may have the least amount of teaching experience compared to any other teacher there, I am seriously bubbling over with passion and enthusiasm and ideas! I have come to love all of these students soooooooo much that I would be willing to do absolutely anything to make them the best and happiest English speakers and learners that they can POSSIBLY be. I would spend all my weekends coming up with the most clever and creative lesson plans. I would make my classroom environment whimsical and supportive. I would transform their idea of learning into an amazing, adventurous game.
I've been stuck on how exactly to define my "teaching philosophy," but I think what it is is to make students not realize they're even learning. I want them to be so enthralled in it and having so much fun with it and have it relate to their lives so much that they grow to LOVE it. Because if they can learn to adjust their perspective at that young of an age, when they get to be my age and have to do a 50 page thesis in two weeks (yeah, okay so that's mostly my own fault...), they won't dread it, but instead see it as an exciting challenge! ;o) And, if they can see academics like that, imagine how they could view life.
Most teachers teach what the book says and done. I don't want to be that teacher. I couldn't even BE that teacher if I tried. I want to be the crazy weird awesome teacher that slyly inserts whatever I'm actually "supposed" to be teaching into a class where much bigger things about life are actually being learned and enjoyed.
So for the next two hours I'm going to work on my final draft of what I'm going to give the head mistress tomorrow. And I'm not going to write it out of fear or out of doubt. I'm going to write it out of love for my students and with faith in my unique perspective and style. I will give it my ALL and give it to her with all of the positive energy I have. If she takes it to heart, it will be the beginning of potentially one of the most life-changing adventures I've been on to date. If she doesn't, then I know that Conor has something else waiting somewhere and I just need to find it.
*deep breath*
XOXO
Generally, I consider myself to be rather antisocial and extremely odd. Over the past year, I've come to really embrace that, but I still wonder what people must think about me! >_< I'm clearly one of those rare people who marches to the beat of her own nose-harmonica player... or something.
This morning when I woke up I had a nice little time with Marianna and her boyfriend, and we talked and she made me coffee to go with my puffed pancake! :)
Then, as I was gathering research for my thesis, I was going through my forum posts on my classes. When I went to read my posts, I realized other students and teachers had commented on almost half of them. I'd had no idea, as I'd never gone back and looked at my posts after I'd written them. I was absolutely STUNNED when I read what people had been writing me:
"You're always so inspirational. Haha. I've been having trouble with some of my classes and hearing what you've had to say has inspired me to start off the new week with a renewed outlook. So how do you suggest we teach parents to listen?" - Leanne
"Chelsea, I chose to comment on your post this week because I am always interested to hear your viewpoint. I think that you have a lot of interesting points to say about most of the material we’ve read and you’re not afraid to say what’s on your mind, which I appreciate. I think this is how we ultimately learn best. ... I love what you’ve done with your classes. I completely agree with you about children being people too, with their own opinions and valuable contributions. I too, am frustrated everyday that a teacher complains on and on about a student. They are a CHILD. They are supposed to act differently, and maybe you can learn from them, and if they really are doing something wrong then TEACH them how to do it right instead of complaining about it. That’s our job right, teachers? Not people putter-downers. Haha. Now you’ve got me riled up!! Thank you for being so detailed in explaining some of the cool stuff that you’re doing in your classes. It sounds like your students are very lucky to have you!" - Faithe
O_O
I had no idea that ANYBODY was reading my posts, much less commenting so sweetly on them. What?
Next, a student wrote me to tell me she'd read my blog post earlier today and it'd made her cry! Awww... <3 She then sent me a screenshot about her and a classmate talking about their assignment for their blog this week. I still am surprised that people do what I assign them to do (I wonder if I'll ever get over this amazement), much less are having a hoot talking about it on their WEEKEND. What strange, awesome people. Haha!
Then, as I was sitting here, I heard my roomies talking about me. I turned down my music to listen in and realized they were all camped at the kitchen table reading my Tumblr and laughing hysterically!! They told me they really liked it a lot! ^_^ YAY!
I haven't gotten quite as much concrete work done on my thesis as I'd hoped, but I have gather tons of ideas and thought about it quite a bit... all the parts have been put in my drop box so I can actually work on it all at school, too, for the next two weeks. Wheee!!!! :)
Anyway... today's only real giant unspoken goal was to change my perspective on this whole job thing. I'm not sure if there is even still a chance of me having a job at this school, or, if so, if there's a chance of me having a job with the students I already know. But I've spent so much time freaking out about it all and second guessing myself and generally drowning in the unknown that I had sufficiently began to feel like I wouldn't deserve it anyway.
But after today? That's all changed. Suddenly I saw myself as something more than just "weird." I saw myself as somebody who has great potential to really use my unique personality and perspectives to really make a difference.
From my excitement over all that I'm learning and putting together in my thesis to the comments from my classmates and teachers to the blogs from my students I've been reading all day long... I've gone from feeling like I definitely don't deserve this anyway to feeling like even though I may have the least amount of teaching experience compared to any other teacher there, I am seriously bubbling over with passion and enthusiasm and ideas! I have come to love all of these students soooooooo much that I would be willing to do absolutely anything to make them the best and happiest English speakers and learners that they can POSSIBLY be. I would spend all my weekends coming up with the most clever and creative lesson plans. I would make my classroom environment whimsical and supportive. I would transform their idea of learning into an amazing, adventurous game.
I've been stuck on how exactly to define my "teaching philosophy," but I think what it is is to make students not realize they're even learning. I want them to be so enthralled in it and having so much fun with it and have it relate to their lives so much that they grow to LOVE it. Because if they can learn to adjust their perspective at that young of an age, when they get to be my age and have to do a 50 page thesis in two weeks (yeah, okay so that's mostly my own fault...), they won't dread it, but instead see it as an exciting challenge! ;o) And, if they can see academics like that, imagine how they could view life.
Most teachers teach what the book says and done. I don't want to be that teacher. I couldn't even BE that teacher if I tried. I want to be the crazy weird awesome teacher that slyly inserts whatever I'm actually "supposed" to be teaching into a class where much bigger things about life are actually being learned and enjoyed.
So for the next two hours I'm going to work on my final draft of what I'm going to give the head mistress tomorrow. And I'm not going to write it out of fear or out of doubt. I'm going to write it out of love for my students and with faith in my unique perspective and style. I will give it my ALL and give it to her with all of the positive energy I have. If she takes it to heart, it will be the beginning of potentially one of the most life-changing adventures I've been on to date. If she doesn't, then I know that Conor has something else waiting somewhere and I just need to find it.
*deep breath*
XOXO
Day 258: A Note to My Favorite Teenagers
I've overwhelmed by the amount of writing I've done this year for my Master's classes. I thought I hadn't learned a thing all year, and now that I'm confronted with condensing all of my reflections and essays into a mere few pages, I'm realizing just how much I actually did this year. I didn't have the grand angst of my roommates, nor did I spent 1/4th of as much time as they did "studying," but I wrote really sound reflections on everything I read and really took a lot of it to heart. I had no idea that even when I think I'm BSing, I'm actually learning. Huh. Even fooled myself on that one!
Anyway, I need a break from being "agobiada" (coolest Spanish word ever) to write something I've been thinking about for a week or two now...
It's come to my attention that I am no longer a teenager. I know, I'm 24 and I should have gotten the memo about five years ago... but what I mean is, that general attitude and outlook on life that can stick with you far past your 20th birthday. And it's sort of a bittersweet realization, actually... not that I'd ever want to be a teenager again... I'm quite happy right where I am, but it just made me think...
See, being a teenager is an interesting time - you have new found freedoms and feelings and thoughts and are starting to emerge from your cocoon... and it can be really fun and exciting and crazy. But, at the same time, you're beginning to realize that you have absolutely NO idea who you really are. Like, none. Some days you might think you're Person A, but then a few days later you realize you're more like Person B... and, even more confusing, you're not even sure if you like who Person A or Person B is. You think maybe you do, but then you wonder if other people like either of them... and then you begin to have a sinking feeling that even if you KNEW who you really were, nobody would even like that person anyway...
As if all of that inner turmoil weren't bad enough, you have the huge issue that hardly ANYBODY seems to really UNDERSTAND YOU. When you think about it, who can blame them!? You hardly understand yourself! But no - that's not the point. They don't understand who you think you are... they don't understand what you're going through... they don't understand anything. You're in constant crisis mode and nobody is GETTING IT. WHAT is wrong with these people???
During these years, though, you teenagers have a serious weapon in your arsenal that younger people and adults simply do not have. And that weapon is your friends. Your friends are EVERYTHING to you, because your friends just GET it. They GET you. And another thing you teenagers have that the rest of the world doesn't? First experiences with love. Not rational love - none of that crap. Real, crazy, traumatic, amazing, thrilling, intense, wonderful, painful, torturous, incredible, life-altering LOVE. Some adults say that you're too young to know what love really is, but you obviously do. Love is what makes you jump out of bed in the morning to see if he's texted you. Love is what makes you stay up late talking to him with a goofy smile plastered to your face. Love is what makes you sane - and, well, crazy... at the same time. But it's worth it. It's what's keeping you alive.
Being around teenagers every day at school has brought me back to my teenage years recently. As with most teenagers, mine were equally as intense. They were the years of my parents' divorce, of changing between three schools, of Matt and Scott and Stephen and Kenny, of Conor and Woody, of debate team, of languages, of Miles and Moxie, of living in three different homes/apartments. My teenage years were arguably crazier and more intense than the average girl's -- and I also had no idea what I was doing, yet felt that hardly anybody really understood how wise I was. They were the most painful years and the most wonderful years.
As I talk to my high schoolers and hear about their lives, and as I peeked at their Tweets yesterday, I saw all of that... and my reaction was surprising. On one hand, I felt a little jealous of their crazy intensity, but on the other hand, I authentically felt a little sorry for them. They had silly pictures trying to look cool and used a lot of cuss words to project a badass persona. I wanted so badly to send them a little anonymous note being like, "Stop trying so hard - you all look ridiculous! You poor little adorable people! You're totally cool when you're just being yourselves! Promise!" But then, they wouldn't believe me... and they shouldn't, either.
I remember that as a teenager, adults would try to give me advice. They'd say they knew what I was going through and they had been there and wanted to give me their wisdom. But that's not how it works. First, in many cases, I'm not convinced that adults really even remember the glorious and awful intensity of being a teenager. I think that if they did, they'd cut these people a lot more slack and be able to relate to them much better... Not that I know HOW you forget being a teenager, maybe most adults have blocked it out out of embarrassment (haha). But, more importantly, second: the point of being a teenager is to be a chaotic disaster who questions everything (except, usually, the things they SHOULD be questioning - haha). It just is. Sure, it behooves you to be able to balance your crazy teenage life with school work and other responsibilities... but past that, it's kind of the time to just experiment with life.
By "experiment with life" I don't mean experiment with drugs and sex. Those aren't experiments so much as cries for help. What I mean is, being a teenager is the set of years in which you must decide if you want to go along with society or if you want to take another path that leads you on your own journey. It's actually a really scary decision, and I'd be willing to bet most teenagers think they're going in the direction of their own journey (because YOLO - bahaha) - but are, in fact, just following everybody else. Teenagers are little creatures on a hamster wheel of "what's cool," trying to impress each other, because they're scared that deep down they'll never be understood nor loved for who they are - BECAUSE THEY STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE - AND FEAR THEY WILL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT.
OH YOU POOR LITTLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
I guess, now that I've emerged from the other end of it, not necessarily unscathed, but certainly victorious, I see it like this: Kids are coddled inside a little place in the center of a giant maze. Things are great there and they know that space very well. Then, as they become teenagers, new parts of the maze start to unfold... and suddenly they are LOST... but they scramble through it trying to look like they know what they're doing, 'cause they're too petrified they'll never emerge and other people will figure out that they're scared and lost - and that would be the worst thing ever... sometimes it's kinda fun, but sometimes it's really not... and then, one day... they realize the walls in that maze were actually all just elaborate two-way mirrors that were penetrable all along ... and when they find their way out, they can't believe how difficult it all seemed.
And that's how you get adults, who don't understand... because they don't remember those walls in the maze seeming so impenetrable. And, if they somehow do, they try to tell the teenagers to just walk through them. But it doesn't work like that. They're only penetrable after the individual figures it out on their own. Otherwise, they'd never figure out who they were and who they wanted to become.
Those nights when I would sit in my dark closet crying, I would always vow that I would never be one of those adults that didn't understand kids and teenagers. I would always remember how it felt, and I would always do my best to try to understand those who "average" adults would simply judge them with an air of superiority, saying they were "too young" to understand or know what was best or whatever. As I realize I'm no longer of the teenager mindset, I suppose I'm starting to see what the adults meant by those things, but I will never fully agree with them. I will stick to the vow I made to myself in my closet, because I can't help but do so.
I have the utmost respect for the little battle each teenager is going through. I will never be the adult to devalue it. I've earned my teenager badge, and I am proud of it. And I hope to always be one of those unique adults that can remember the amazing struggle of it all and be there to support others along the journey, and never to belittle or judge them for it by trying to tell them how to do it. (A teenager that blindly listened to an adult would in fact be doing themselves a great disservice, anyway, and I don't want to hinder the process!) It's sort of like watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon and yelling at it for not hurrying up - "all you have to do is push your way through it - DUH." No. It's a process, and one that is beautiful and painful.
I wish there were a way I could make all my little high schoolers know that I understand and I respect them. That one day they will feel confident in their awesomeness - and some societal contrived version of awesomeness ("I have 'swag' and I use cuss words and I drink and I smoke and I do my duckface and I put scandalous pictures on the internet and I am so unique and cool and I don't care what anybody thinks about me, because I'm better than them anyway and YOLO.") , but a unique sense of purpose ("I am a BAMF - because I am nothing like anybody else. Arguably, most people don't even understand me... and some don't even like me... and that is totally cool. Because I know exactly who I am, and sometimes I dance in little circles and squeak, because I'm so enchanted by it. And I use this lovely person that I am to go out and help others and try to do my part to make the world a wee bit better off. I am so grateful and have found a unique little spot in the world that makes me hum with happiness.")
So, if there are any teenager people reading this, just know that I think you're awesome. Even when you don't know who you are and if you have even a drop of awesomeness inside of you. Even when adults are telling you that you suck. Even when you sit in your closet and cry. I shall for always think you are awesome. Get on that little hobby horse of yours...
gallop through that maze and pick and choose which qualities you want to add to your arsenal of awesomeness and which ones you would prefer to do without - because your experiences now will shape who you become in the future. If you ever lose faith in the journey, know that I have a bucket load of personal faith in each of you sitting right over here in my own little world... and if you ever need any, I'll be right here to give it to you.
Now go make those duckfaces and text your boyfriend and resume your intense teenager lives - but just try never to completely forget we had this little heart-to-heart. ;)
XOXO
Anyway, I need a break from being "agobiada" (coolest Spanish word ever) to write something I've been thinking about for a week or two now...
It's come to my attention that I am no longer a teenager. I know, I'm 24 and I should have gotten the memo about five years ago... but what I mean is, that general attitude and outlook on life that can stick with you far past your 20th birthday. And it's sort of a bittersweet realization, actually... not that I'd ever want to be a teenager again... I'm quite happy right where I am, but it just made me think...
See, being a teenager is an interesting time - you have new found freedoms and feelings and thoughts and are starting to emerge from your cocoon... and it can be really fun and exciting and crazy. But, at the same time, you're beginning to realize that you have absolutely NO idea who you really are. Like, none. Some days you might think you're Person A, but then a few days later you realize you're more like Person B... and, even more confusing, you're not even sure if you like who Person A or Person B is. You think maybe you do, but then you wonder if other people like either of them... and then you begin to have a sinking feeling that even if you KNEW who you really were, nobody would even like that person anyway...
As if all of that inner turmoil weren't bad enough, you have the huge issue that hardly ANYBODY seems to really UNDERSTAND YOU. When you think about it, who can blame them!? You hardly understand yourself! But no - that's not the point. They don't understand who you think you are... they don't understand what you're going through... they don't understand anything. You're in constant crisis mode and nobody is GETTING IT. WHAT is wrong with these people???
During these years, though, you teenagers have a serious weapon in your arsenal that younger people and adults simply do not have. And that weapon is your friends. Your friends are EVERYTHING to you, because your friends just GET it. They GET you. And another thing you teenagers have that the rest of the world doesn't? First experiences with love. Not rational love - none of that crap. Real, crazy, traumatic, amazing, thrilling, intense, wonderful, painful, torturous, incredible, life-altering LOVE. Some adults say that you're too young to know what love really is, but you obviously do. Love is what makes you jump out of bed in the morning to see if he's texted you. Love is what makes you stay up late talking to him with a goofy smile plastered to your face. Love is what makes you sane - and, well, crazy... at the same time. But it's worth it. It's what's keeping you alive.
Being around teenagers every day at school has brought me back to my teenage years recently. As with most teenagers, mine were equally as intense. They were the years of my parents' divorce, of changing between three schools, of Matt and Scott and Stephen and Kenny, of Conor and Woody, of debate team, of languages, of Miles and Moxie, of living in three different homes/apartments. My teenage years were arguably crazier and more intense than the average girl's -- and I also had no idea what I was doing, yet felt that hardly anybody really understood how wise I was. They were the most painful years and the most wonderful years.
As I talk to my high schoolers and hear about their lives, and as I peeked at their Tweets yesterday, I saw all of that... and my reaction was surprising. On one hand, I felt a little jealous of their crazy intensity, but on the other hand, I authentically felt a little sorry for them. They had silly pictures trying to look cool and used a lot of cuss words to project a badass persona. I wanted so badly to send them a little anonymous note being like, "Stop trying so hard - you all look ridiculous! You poor little adorable people! You're totally cool when you're just being yourselves! Promise!" But then, they wouldn't believe me... and they shouldn't, either.
I remember that as a teenager, adults would try to give me advice. They'd say they knew what I was going through and they had been there and wanted to give me their wisdom. But that's not how it works. First, in many cases, I'm not convinced that adults really even remember the glorious and awful intensity of being a teenager. I think that if they did, they'd cut these people a lot more slack and be able to relate to them much better... Not that I know HOW you forget being a teenager, maybe most adults have blocked it out out of embarrassment (haha). But, more importantly, second: the point of being a teenager is to be a chaotic disaster who questions everything (except, usually, the things they SHOULD be questioning - haha). It just is. Sure, it behooves you to be able to balance your crazy teenage life with school work and other responsibilities... but past that, it's kind of the time to just experiment with life.
By "experiment with life" I don't mean experiment with drugs and sex. Those aren't experiments so much as cries for help. What I mean is, being a teenager is the set of years in which you must decide if you want to go along with society or if you want to take another path that leads you on your own journey. It's actually a really scary decision, and I'd be willing to bet most teenagers think they're going in the direction of their own journey (because YOLO - bahaha) - but are, in fact, just following everybody else. Teenagers are little creatures on a hamster wheel of "what's cool," trying to impress each other, because they're scared that deep down they'll never be understood nor loved for who they are - BECAUSE THEY STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE - AND FEAR THEY WILL NEVER FIGURE IT OUT.
OH YOU POOR LITTLE PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
I guess, now that I've emerged from the other end of it, not necessarily unscathed, but certainly victorious, I see it like this: Kids are coddled inside a little place in the center of a giant maze. Things are great there and they know that space very well. Then, as they become teenagers, new parts of the maze start to unfold... and suddenly they are LOST... but they scramble through it trying to look like they know what they're doing, 'cause they're too petrified they'll never emerge and other people will figure out that they're scared and lost - and that would be the worst thing ever... sometimes it's kinda fun, but sometimes it's really not... and then, one day... they realize the walls in that maze were actually all just elaborate two-way mirrors that were penetrable all along ... and when they find their way out, they can't believe how difficult it all seemed.
And that's how you get adults, who don't understand... because they don't remember those walls in the maze seeming so impenetrable. And, if they somehow do, they try to tell the teenagers to just walk through them. But it doesn't work like that. They're only penetrable after the individual figures it out on their own. Otherwise, they'd never figure out who they were and who they wanted to become.
Those nights when I would sit in my dark closet crying, I would always vow that I would never be one of those adults that didn't understand kids and teenagers. I would always remember how it felt, and I would always do my best to try to understand those who "average" adults would simply judge them with an air of superiority, saying they were "too young" to understand or know what was best or whatever. As I realize I'm no longer of the teenager mindset, I suppose I'm starting to see what the adults meant by those things, but I will never fully agree with them. I will stick to the vow I made to myself in my closet, because I can't help but do so.
I have the utmost respect for the little battle each teenager is going through. I will never be the adult to devalue it. I've earned my teenager badge, and I am proud of it. And I hope to always be one of those unique adults that can remember the amazing struggle of it all and be there to support others along the journey, and never to belittle or judge them for it by trying to tell them how to do it. (A teenager that blindly listened to an adult would in fact be doing themselves a great disservice, anyway, and I don't want to hinder the process!) It's sort of like watching a butterfly emerge from its cocoon and yelling at it for not hurrying up - "all you have to do is push your way through it - DUH." No. It's a process, and one that is beautiful and painful.
I wish there were a way I could make all my little high schoolers know that I understand and I respect them. That one day they will feel confident in their awesomeness - and some societal contrived version of awesomeness ("I have 'swag' and I use cuss words and I drink and I smoke and I do my duckface and I put scandalous pictures on the internet and I am so unique and cool and I don't care what anybody thinks about me, because I'm better than them anyway and YOLO.") , but a unique sense of purpose ("I am a BAMF - because I am nothing like anybody else. Arguably, most people don't even understand me... and some don't even like me... and that is totally cool. Because I know exactly who I am, and sometimes I dance in little circles and squeak, because I'm so enchanted by it. And I use this lovely person that I am to go out and help others and try to do my part to make the world a wee bit better off. I am so grateful and have found a unique little spot in the world that makes me hum with happiness.")
So, if there are any teenager people reading this, just know that I think you're awesome. Even when you don't know who you are and if you have even a drop of awesomeness inside of you. Even when adults are telling you that you suck. Even when you sit in your closet and cry. I shall for always think you are awesome. Get on that little hobby horse of yours...
gallop through that maze and pick and choose which qualities you want to add to your arsenal of awesomeness and which ones you would prefer to do without - because your experiences now will shape who you become in the future. If you ever lose faith in the journey, know that I have a bucket load of personal faith in each of you sitting right over here in my own little world... and if you ever need any, I'll be right here to give it to you.
Now go make those duckfaces and text your boyfriend and resume your intense teenager lives - but just try never to completely forget we had this little heart-to-heart. ;)
XOXO
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Day 257: Study Saturday - Hour by Hour!
Today I'm going to try something different: Every hour I'm going to write a mini installment about what I've been doing - partly in hopes of keeping myself on track!
12:00 - Woke up from a horrible dream in which J was living in Austin, TX and working at Jamba Juice in a trailer parky part of town... And she had a baby! >_< It was one of those dreams within a dream, and part of be kept trying to wake up from the horror of it, but when I'd wake up into the second layer of the dream, she was living in Portland, but the part about having a baby was still true. Man, it was a really awful dream! That'll teach me to watch shitty MTV shows before bed...
1:00 - Took one of those gloriously long showers, and then iced myself in lotion afterwards, as if I were a big cupcake. :) Dressed in my favorite hoodie from Amsterdam (the epic one with the big pink pot leaf) and some purple PINK sweatpants from Chicago. Finished the look off with my Havaianas on that H brought me back as a birthday present from Brazil. :-P
2:00 - Made a giant puffed pancake and doused it in that REAL MAPLE SYRUP I seriously splurged on the other day! Eating it while listening to my favorite morning time song - "Murmurio" by Casuarina.
3:00 - Camped out on the couch, reading articles about portfolios. Wheeee....
4:00 - Realized I don't want my thesis to just be on portfolios, but on Chelsea Version Portfolios. I wrote a quick reflection on exactly what I want my thesis to be about when it's all done.*
5:00 - I needed a break, so I made some cheese chips and shandy, then decided to see if any of my students had posted to their blogs today. Some of them read my blog for entertainment, but I don't think they fully understand that I read their blogs for entertainment, myself! :) Pineapple's was totally awesome and made me giggle when she said her dream job would be to be a Unicorn Groomer, and then included a pic of unicorn cupcakes. WIN. Another girl had written hers, and it was really funny, too. They all had to make rough CVs for this week, also, and one of them put their Twitter handle on it.
And so what have I spent the past half hour doing? STALKING all of my high schoolers on Twitter. Either that makes me a seriously awesome person, or a really creepy teacher... I'm not really sure which. But man it was fun. :oP When you're a student, you often forget your teachers have real lives outside of the classroom, but as a teacher, you often forget your students have lives outside of the classroom, too!
Anyway, my conclusion from looking at their Twitters was that I was happy Twitter didn't exist when I was in high school. Myspace was crazy enough for me (man that sounds lame)... and this Twitter stuff is so ineloquent and impersonal, and yet takes up so much time. Sheesh. Aaaand now I sound old. Okay, gonna go back to my thesising...
6:00 - Roomies went to Madrid! I have the apartment all to myself for the night! Time to BLAST SOME MUSIC!!! :oD Anyway, currently organizing everything into an Outline. Just reread the guidelines for this paper, and it's pretty ridiculous. It's supposed to be more like a review of what we've learned, rather than a thesis from scratch. Not that you hear me complaining... if there's one thing I LOVE doing, it's reflecting on my experiences. HAHA!!! Seriously. Let's do this! I've been practicing for 257 days here, guys. Maybe I could just send her a link to my blog? ;)
7:00 - FIVE pages finished. Yep, you can call me Sir BAMFsalot! ;) (Tee hee - I came up with that the other day when I was getting off of the train... and, man, I was just so enchanted my creativity and awesomeness - hahaha.) Okay, to be fair, three of those were already written in my original rough draft submitted in November, but I had to do the work of finding them and rereading them and editing them. :) And then I added two pages expanding upon some parts. The important part is, currently 10% done, and I've only been working on it for five hours. SUCCESS. Roomies are going to be so ticked off when they get home and I tell them I'm 20% done after one intense afternoon of awesomeness. In my defense, writing IS one of my main passions in life, and langauges ARE my other main passion... so it only makes sense that I should be LOVING this paper right now! ;)
8:00 - After I got a few more pages done, I decided to go to my neighborhood Fruiteria to get some fruit for my shortcakes! I felt like the biggest rebel in the world for leaving the house in a hoodie, sweatpants and flipflops. The faces of all those I passed were in SHOCK. One simply does not wear sweats and flipflops in public here in Spain. I saw a police car go by and I honestly had an irrational milisecond of wondering if they were going to stop and talk to me! Haha. Seriously though, you just don't do that here. Ever.
The fruit shop guy, though, was way cool with it. That man has seen me on my hottest days and on my grossest days, and he always helps me with a cute little grin on his face. :) My kind of guy.
I thought strawberries were already out of season, but he had a few boxes of them today! Yay! And, actually, he didn't even have any peaches, so I got a bag 'o bries and am now feasting on some white chocolate strawberry shortcake while about to tackle the next part of my thesis.
My one fail of the past hour, though, was trying to make coffee in Marianna's fancy Italian coffee maker thingie. I totally FAILED the first time (I won't even tell you what I did). And the second time was a pretty unfortunate fail, too. I'm hoping third time is a charm, but the whole contraption is too hot for me to try again yet. Haha.
9:00 - Two more pages written, and other written but not sure where to put them yet. I will not be going to sleep until the first part is completed. There are four parts and each must be 10-15 pages long, so if I do one part today, one tomorrow, one next Saturday and one next Sunday, I'll be done five days before it's actually due! Haha. Man, I'm starting to feel antsy. I need a dance and coffee break...
10:00 - Marianna and her boyfriend came home at last! :) They've served as a nice distraction, as they're speaking half in English and half in Italian. With Marianna around, I've realized that I can still understand an alarming amount of Italian, but I cannot say a single thing besides "squirrel." >_< Che cazzo! (Or, well, okay, I guess I know three words...) But! Tonight her boyfriend taught me a new, and very useful word: "AUTOSCATTO." Translation? "Selfie." BAHAHA!!! Bamf. So Bamf. ^_^
11:00 - Aaaaand I did nothing. I showed Marianna my Tumblr. I stalked my students some more. And I watched movie trailers to decide which movie we should all watch tonight. Time for some dinner and an attempt at finishing this section TONIGHT...
12:00 - LITERALLY just had a moment where I noticed there was a red, squiggly line under a word I'd written, indicating it was spelled wrong, and I seriously could not figure out why. I right clicked on it to find a suitable correction, and there weren't any. I was seriously baffled by this point and typed it into an online dictionary. It took me a few more minutes to figure out the mystery... turned out, it was a SPANISH word - and one without a direct English translation. O_O I had translated it into what I thought was a nice English vocabulary word, and it turned out to not even exist. I don't know whether that was a FAIL or a WIN???
1:00 - ELEVEN PAGES DOWN.
2:00 - TWELVE PAGES. Final count. Not bad for one day, even though most of the text was taken from my two rough drafts and just edited and reformated and moved around. I did add a few parts, too. Anyway, I'm only lacking one part to have Section One complete, and I know I have that hidden in some folder on my computer, too... I just have to find it and edit it. Tomorrow I will do Section Two, while also writing the final draft of what I'm going to give the head mistress on Monday. EEK.
Night night!
XOXO
*"I want my thesis to reflect the interesting concepts I have learned in these classes. The parts that were really worth my time to read and that gave me a new perspective to things.
12:00 - Woke up from a horrible dream in which J was living in Austin, TX and working at Jamba Juice in a trailer parky part of town... And she had a baby! >_< It was one of those dreams within a dream, and part of be kept trying to wake up from the horror of it, but when I'd wake up into the second layer of the dream, she was living in Portland, but the part about having a baby was still true. Man, it was a really awful dream! That'll teach me to watch shitty MTV shows before bed...
1:00 - Took one of those gloriously long showers, and then iced myself in lotion afterwards, as if I were a big cupcake. :) Dressed in my favorite hoodie from Amsterdam (the epic one with the big pink pot leaf) and some purple PINK sweatpants from Chicago. Finished the look off with my Havaianas on that H brought me back as a birthday present from Brazil. :-P
2:00 - Made a giant puffed pancake and doused it in that REAL MAPLE SYRUP I seriously splurged on the other day! Eating it while listening to my favorite morning time song - "Murmurio" by Casuarina.
3:00 - Camped out on the couch, reading articles about portfolios. Wheeee....
4:00 - Realized I don't want my thesis to just be on portfolios, but on Chelsea Version Portfolios. I wrote a quick reflection on exactly what I want my thesis to be about when it's all done.*
5:00 - I needed a break, so I made some cheese chips and shandy, then decided to see if any of my students had posted to their blogs today. Some of them read my blog for entertainment, but I don't think they fully understand that I read their blogs for entertainment, myself! :) Pineapple's was totally awesome and made me giggle when she said her dream job would be to be a Unicorn Groomer, and then included a pic of unicorn cupcakes. WIN. Another girl had written hers, and it was really funny, too. They all had to make rough CVs for this week, also, and one of them put their Twitter handle on it.
And so what have I spent the past half hour doing? STALKING all of my high schoolers on Twitter. Either that makes me a seriously awesome person, or a really creepy teacher... I'm not really sure which. But man it was fun. :oP When you're a student, you often forget your teachers have real lives outside of the classroom, but as a teacher, you often forget your students have lives outside of the classroom, too!
Anyway, my conclusion from looking at their Twitters was that I was happy Twitter didn't exist when I was in high school. Myspace was crazy enough for me (man that sounds lame)... and this Twitter stuff is so ineloquent and impersonal, and yet takes up so much time. Sheesh. Aaaand now I sound old. Okay, gonna go back to my thesising...
6:00 - Roomies went to Madrid! I have the apartment all to myself for the night! Time to BLAST SOME MUSIC!!! :oD Anyway, currently organizing everything into an Outline. Just reread the guidelines for this paper, and it's pretty ridiculous. It's supposed to be more like a review of what we've learned, rather than a thesis from scratch. Not that you hear me complaining... if there's one thing I LOVE doing, it's reflecting on my experiences. HAHA!!! Seriously. Let's do this! I've been practicing for 257 days here, guys. Maybe I could just send her a link to my blog? ;)
7:00 - FIVE pages finished. Yep, you can call me Sir BAMFsalot! ;) (Tee hee - I came up with that the other day when I was getting off of the train... and, man, I was just so enchanted my creativity and awesomeness - hahaha.) Okay, to be fair, three of those were already written in my original rough draft submitted in November, but I had to do the work of finding them and rereading them and editing them. :) And then I added two pages expanding upon some parts. The important part is, currently 10% done, and I've only been working on it for five hours. SUCCESS. Roomies are going to be so ticked off when they get home and I tell them I'm 20% done after one intense afternoon of awesomeness. In my defense, writing IS one of my main passions in life, and langauges ARE my other main passion... so it only makes sense that I should be LOVING this paper right now! ;)
8:00 - After I got a few more pages done, I decided to go to my neighborhood Fruiteria to get some fruit for my shortcakes! I felt like the biggest rebel in the world for leaving the house in a hoodie, sweatpants and flipflops. The faces of all those I passed were in SHOCK. One simply does not wear sweats and flipflops in public here in Spain. I saw a police car go by and I honestly had an irrational milisecond of wondering if they were going to stop and talk to me! Haha. Seriously though, you just don't do that here. Ever.
The fruit shop guy, though, was way cool with it. That man has seen me on my hottest days and on my grossest days, and he always helps me with a cute little grin on his face. :) My kind of guy.
I thought strawberries were already out of season, but he had a few boxes of them today! Yay! And, actually, he didn't even have any peaches, so I got a bag 'o bries and am now feasting on some white chocolate strawberry shortcake while about to tackle the next part of my thesis.
My one fail of the past hour, though, was trying to make coffee in Marianna's fancy Italian coffee maker thingie. I totally FAILED the first time (I won't even tell you what I did). And the second time was a pretty unfortunate fail, too. I'm hoping third time is a charm, but the whole contraption is too hot for me to try again yet. Haha.
9:00 - Two more pages written, and other written but not sure where to put them yet. I will not be going to sleep until the first part is completed. There are four parts and each must be 10-15 pages long, so if I do one part today, one tomorrow, one next Saturday and one next Sunday, I'll be done five days before it's actually due! Haha. Man, I'm starting to feel antsy. I need a dance and coffee break...
10:00 - Marianna and her boyfriend came home at last! :) They've served as a nice distraction, as they're speaking half in English and half in Italian. With Marianna around, I've realized that I can still understand an alarming amount of Italian, but I cannot say a single thing besides "squirrel." >_< Che cazzo! (Or, well, okay, I guess I know three words...) But! Tonight her boyfriend taught me a new, and very useful word: "AUTOSCATTO." Translation? "Selfie." BAHAHA!!! Bamf. So Bamf. ^_^
11:00 - Aaaaand I did nothing. I showed Marianna my Tumblr. I stalked my students some more. And I watched movie trailers to decide which movie we should all watch tonight. Time for some dinner and an attempt at finishing this section TONIGHT...
12:00 - LITERALLY just had a moment where I noticed there was a red, squiggly line under a word I'd written, indicating it was spelled wrong, and I seriously could not figure out why. I right clicked on it to find a suitable correction, and there weren't any. I was seriously baffled by this point and typed it into an online dictionary. It took me a few more minutes to figure out the mystery... turned out, it was a SPANISH word - and one without a direct English translation. O_O I had translated it into what I thought was a nice English vocabulary word, and it turned out to not even exist. I don't know whether that was a FAIL or a WIN???
1:00 - ELEVEN PAGES DOWN.
2:00 - TWELVE PAGES. Final count. Not bad for one day, even though most of the text was taken from my two rough drafts and just edited and reformated and moved around. I did add a few parts, too. Anyway, I'm only lacking one part to have Section One complete, and I know I have that hidden in some folder on my computer, too... I just have to find it and edit it. Tomorrow I will do Section Two, while also writing the final draft of what I'm going to give the head mistress on Monday. EEK.
Night night!
XOXO
*"I want my thesis to reflect the interesting concepts I have learned in these classes. The parts that were really worth my time to read and that gave me a new perspective to things.
I also want my thesis to cover what I have observed and experienced at CISTA. I want it to show how much I have really thought and reflected about my experience.
The broader topic that this is meant to explain is the concept of portfolios for assessment, but it is not just another explanation of why it is a good and idea and how to make one. No, I want this to be more revolutionary than that. I want it to have creative, unique and innovative ideas in it. I want it to really show some interesting insight into the usual ho-hum manner of teaching.
I want this to come from the idea of “down the rabbit hole” and also from “The Little Prince.” I want this to be based on the idea that learning another language should be a magical experience and adults should quit ruining this experience for the children. I want this to come off as not just “a way of assessing,” but, instead “a way of creating a whimsical classroom environment to really give students the best possible shot at learning – both English and about themselves - and loving learning.”
The portfolio isn't just a lame ass collection of stuff at the end of the term. No, the portfolio is the ship that is carrying students from week to week, concept to concept. I don't believe in the idea of chapters and units and exams. I believe that learning should be a more inclusive and continuous adventure. Learning should be seen like “Supermarket Sweep,” where kids are let loose into a supermarket of knowledge (the classroom), and are free to grab all the knowledge they can and place it into their carts (portfolio). And not because they have to or are being graded on it or are scared into it – but because they genuinely are excited about it.
A small experience I've had with this – Pablo. I was teaching him about past simple and how to make it positive and negative. Instead of drilling it into his head, I wrote the words on his fingers and we did a puppet show with his Angry Bird stuffed animals. After 45 minutes of this, I had him redo the assignment he had failed, and he did it PERFECTLY, and with enthusiasm. Then, just as I was about to leave, he asked me how to make it about tomorrow. I didn't understand what he was asking, so I asked him to explain his question. “You know, we can talk about yesterday and today, but how do we talk about tomorrow?”
I was absolutely floored. What a freak'n BRILLIANT question. o_O And this is the kid whose mom hired me as their “last hope.” because he was going to fail English and was dyslexic and just didn't understand the most basic concepts!
I smiled, slyly and shook my head. “It's a secret!” I whispered. He laughed and said that he really, really wanted to know. “Okay, but you can't tell anybody you know it. It's something even 5th graders don't know.” He nodded his head up and down, up and down, rapidly, clearly getting really eager.
I wrote down “will” and “won't” on the paper below the present and past verbs. I explained you used those words instead putting an ending on the main verb. And that's how you made it about the future.
He was perplexed for all of two seconds, and then grabbed the notebook from me and started writing. He wrote three sentences using this new concept I'd explained to him in literally 30 seconds – and he wrote them flawlessly, all the while a huge grin on his face.
THAT is what I want this thesis to argue for – I want it to argue for an enchanted, whimsical classroom with learning seen as an amazing adventure. And I want portfolios to be the vehicle for that journey. I want it to be the suitcase of that journey. The scrapbook of that journey. I want kids to take pride in their portfolio and see it as one of their most prized learning possessions.
Like I said, I think by making learning about units and chapters and exams, the average class day loses all significance and importance. But when you properly create a classroom driven by a portfolio and imagination, students come to class knowing they have something exciting to work on and add to. I want their portfolio to be like a treasure map to all of the pieces of gold they've learned throughout the year. I want them to know that class time is for them and their creation and their learning. I don't want to have a minute of our time together wasted. I want them to feel a sense of exigency and adventure. I want them to not even realize they're working and learning, when they are, in fact, working and learning. I want it to be very hands on and engaging. And I want it to be something that parents and other teachers and other students can see at the end of each term and admire.
And so, my thesis will be a roadmap of sorts into creating a classroom like this with portfolios at the forfront of it all. It will draw on articles and videos I've seen throughout my Master's classes, experiences I've had in the classroom, and my own personal thoughts and beliefs. I want this to be the one thesis the lady reads and really makes her think. I want this to be the kind of thing I can truly use in the future and inspire others to get into, as well."
Friday, May 17, 2013
Day 256: School, Fajitas, TV and Tumblr
I'm not sure why, but lately I've been getting that warm squishy
feeling that my life is just how I want it to be. I'm only really
lacking one thing, but I have faith that it'll come in time. But right
now, I catch myself speaking to myself all the time walking between
classes... or around Madrid... or on my way home. That happy squeak of
pure contentment.
This week I had my high schoolers right their blog posts on their ultimate ridiculous fantasy dream job. Today one of them asked me what mine was, and I had to pause because although I know there are bigger, more exotic dreams I have for the future, I don't know how much happier I really could be in any other job right now.
I have 275 students that squeal my name every time I walk into their classroom - even if I'm just stopping by for a stapler! I have 275 tiny people whose eyes fill up with happiness when they see me, and they're always running up and hugging me and telling me about their lives - or, in the case of the older ones, giggling along with me at one of my random comments and inserting their own witty remarks into our conversations.
Most of my life I have felt like very few people understood me, and vice versa. I've never been the type to be social or to really be interested in many people at one time. I've always seen people in general to be pretty disappointing - either they felt too fake or seemed to shallow or had very different priorities than me... and I always felt like there must have been something wrong with me, because I just didn't fit in anywhere, really.
But I've finally found where I do fit in, and where I am appreciated (and even adored). I've finally found people I can relate to and be amazed by. I finally found real people in touch with themselves... and these people happen to be 6-17 years old.
The problem all along was I thought adults were the ones who had their shit together, but it's turned out it's just the opposite. Younger people are the ones who are still creative and imaginative and real. They're the ones that haven't been so shaped by society as to have lost their sense of self and their ability to see things from a unique perspective.
When I walk the halls of the school, I feel like some of those kids honestly really understand me and appreciate me for who I am - unlike almost any other adult ever has. and, in return, I feel like I really, truly understand and value them - again, probably unlike most any other adult has. We just have this connection where we "get it." It's something most adults can't see - and I don't know why - but we can.
I told my 10th graders how I'm really weird and not an average American, and so not to think everybody from my country was as strange as me. And one girl looked at me, confused, and said, "We don't think you're weird." I laughed and said thanks, but that it was okay with my I was weird. She pressed on, "No, you're not weird. You're just different - but, like, in a really cool way." I laughed again and tried to change her mind, figuring the class just didn't know me that well. I told them how I'd not know the lyrics to a song the other day and how I'd started meowing to the song instead, because it was just something J and I used to do. I told her how my roommates laughed at me and told me I was nuts. The class just smiled and thought it sounded like a really fun idea and that they would try meowing to a song in English they couldn't understand the next time they heard one!
^_^
^
(This is what I'm talking about. These students get me, and I think they're so awesome for it!)
See, I remember how lonely it could feel at some points being a kid and a teenager. I always said when I was younger that I wanted to be the kind of adult that UNDERSTOOD kids, because so few of them did. I wanted to be the kind of adult that would really LISTEN to kids and would believe they were big enough and smart enough to think for themselves and feel things just as intensely as adults.
I remember those few times that I would find an adult who really got me, and how safe and understood I would suddenly feel. Just to feel like I had somebody with a little amount of "adult power" on my side. Somebody who would be willing to fight for me and help me when nobody else would listen or understand.
I had a lot of teachers who recognized me for my intelligence and talent - Mrs. Block was the first teacher to tell me I was a good writer, and honestly her telling me that changed my entire life. I'd never thought twice about writing, but after getting the chance to write in our writers notebook and her compliments and encouragement, I started to see myself as talented. Had I had any other 5th and 6th grade teacher, who knows what I'd be doing right now.
I had other teachers like that who changed the course of my life in little and big ways, and changed the ways I viewed myself and my abilities, too. There was Mrs. Kirschbaum who brought out the sassiness in me. There was Mrs. Whitnah who gave us that speech, crying, one day that her former student had just committed suicide and that if we ever felt lonely or overwhelmed to the point of killing ourselves, that we had to promise her first, and she would be there for us no matter what. That always made me feel like I had somebody on my side. There was Mrs. Hinchey who gave me the failing grade on my first Spanish test of 6th grade and really changed the course of my entire existence in doing so and sparked the moxie and sanguinity that are currently such dominant traits.
There was Sra. Duarte who put me in AP Spanish as a Freshman after accurately spotting my linguistic tenacity. There was Monseiur Olsen-Dufour who introduced me to "The Little Prince" - in French, no less! There was Mr. Blair Bear who really polished my writing and taught me it was okay to occasionally be a little brassy in the name of standing up for what I believed in. And then there was Ernesto who really recognized in me my potential the most, out of any teacher I've had. He saw that I wasn't like the rest of them and made me feel acknowledged for the unique person I was for the first time.
When I began this adventure at my school, my lofty goal was to inspire some of the students to really fall in love with the language by finding out more about American culture and by making learning about it all fun. After the first two weeks, I wrote a blog saying how unfit to be a teacher I was and how much I disliked it. I had no idea that by the end of the year, I would have 275 fans, 275 kids who I had not only inspired a love of English and American culture, but whom I'd made feel authentically good about themselves and understood and adored, to boot.
Today I had maybe a 30 second conversation with one of my favorite sophomores, in which I quickly told him how I'd stuck my neck out for a few of them last Friday when everything had happened. He and the others sincerely (and I mean SINCERELY) thanked me for putting myself on the line for them - I get the feeling it's not something that's really happened to them before. I was honored to have been able to do it, too. After he told me not to worry what other people were thinking or saying, because, basically, they had nothing on me - not just in terms of reasoning, but in terms of awesomeness.
^_^
I know it was just a simple sentence or two from a sophomore guy, but it really translated into my life in general: "Don't worry about what people are saying behind your back - you're awesome and we - the ones who truly matter - all know it."
<3
Seriously. I know I risked it a little standing up for them, but that was nothing compared to that mini pearl of wisdom he gave me today - one that I've heard so many times, but one that meant so much more coming from an intelligent, younger person with perspective. <3
Anyway, this weekend I have a lot to accomplish. I have to finish one of my classes, I have to make serious headway on my Thesis and I have to figure out how to approach the head mistress about the possibility of teaching Primary or Secondary rather than Preschool/Kindergarten. I've begun my little book that I plan to fill with reasons, but I need to make them more pithy and from the heart.
Good thing I've stocked up on yummy food, 'cause I won't be leaving the house 'til Monday morning!!! :oP But as I write this, it's already 9:30 and I've accomplished NO studying. I HAVE eaten two fajitas with a clara (half beer half lemon soda), a strawberry white chocolate shortcake, and a pack of oreos with cream cheese and horchata. I HAVE watched four episodes between How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men - but all in Spanish, and I understood most of the jokes, so really that was totally a studying experience. And, finally, I HAVE created my first tumblr, 'cause I'm newly slightly obsessed with it, and I've already practically made B wet his pants thanks to my creativity with gifs:
www.jetsetcupcake.tumblr.com
And now, a trabajar!! (Psshhh... yeah right...)
XOXO
This week I had my high schoolers right their blog posts on their ultimate ridiculous fantasy dream job. Today one of them asked me what mine was, and I had to pause because although I know there are bigger, more exotic dreams I have for the future, I don't know how much happier I really could be in any other job right now.
I have 275 students that squeal my name every time I walk into their classroom - even if I'm just stopping by for a stapler! I have 275 tiny people whose eyes fill up with happiness when they see me, and they're always running up and hugging me and telling me about their lives - or, in the case of the older ones, giggling along with me at one of my random comments and inserting their own witty remarks into our conversations.
Most of my life I have felt like very few people understood me, and vice versa. I've never been the type to be social or to really be interested in many people at one time. I've always seen people in general to be pretty disappointing - either they felt too fake or seemed to shallow or had very different priorities than me... and I always felt like there must have been something wrong with me, because I just didn't fit in anywhere, really.
But I've finally found where I do fit in, and where I am appreciated (and even adored). I've finally found people I can relate to and be amazed by. I finally found real people in touch with themselves... and these people happen to be 6-17 years old.
The problem all along was I thought adults were the ones who had their shit together, but it's turned out it's just the opposite. Younger people are the ones who are still creative and imaginative and real. They're the ones that haven't been so shaped by society as to have lost their sense of self and their ability to see things from a unique perspective.
When I walk the halls of the school, I feel like some of those kids honestly really understand me and appreciate me for who I am - unlike almost any other adult ever has. and, in return, I feel like I really, truly understand and value them - again, probably unlike most any other adult has. We just have this connection where we "get it." It's something most adults can't see - and I don't know why - but we can.
I told my 10th graders how I'm really weird and not an average American, and so not to think everybody from my country was as strange as me. And one girl looked at me, confused, and said, "We don't think you're weird." I laughed and said thanks, but that it was okay with my I was weird. She pressed on, "No, you're not weird. You're just different - but, like, in a really cool way." I laughed again and tried to change her mind, figuring the class just didn't know me that well. I told them how I'd not know the lyrics to a song the other day and how I'd started meowing to the song instead, because it was just something J and I used to do. I told her how my roommates laughed at me and told me I was nuts. The class just smiled and thought it sounded like a really fun idea and that they would try meowing to a song in English they couldn't understand the next time they heard one!
^_^
^
(This is what I'm talking about. These students get me, and I think they're so awesome for it!)
See, I remember how lonely it could feel at some points being a kid and a teenager. I always said when I was younger that I wanted to be the kind of adult that UNDERSTOOD kids, because so few of them did. I wanted to be the kind of adult that would really LISTEN to kids and would believe they were big enough and smart enough to think for themselves and feel things just as intensely as adults.
I remember those few times that I would find an adult who really got me, and how safe and understood I would suddenly feel. Just to feel like I had somebody with a little amount of "adult power" on my side. Somebody who would be willing to fight for me and help me when nobody else would listen or understand.
I had a lot of teachers who recognized me for my intelligence and talent - Mrs. Block was the first teacher to tell me I was a good writer, and honestly her telling me that changed my entire life. I'd never thought twice about writing, but after getting the chance to write in our writers notebook and her compliments and encouragement, I started to see myself as talented. Had I had any other 5th and 6th grade teacher, who knows what I'd be doing right now.
I had other teachers like that who changed the course of my life in little and big ways, and changed the ways I viewed myself and my abilities, too. There was Mrs. Kirschbaum who brought out the sassiness in me. There was Mrs. Whitnah who gave us that speech, crying, one day that her former student had just committed suicide and that if we ever felt lonely or overwhelmed to the point of killing ourselves, that we had to promise her first, and she would be there for us no matter what. That always made me feel like I had somebody on my side. There was Mrs. Hinchey who gave me the failing grade on my first Spanish test of 6th grade and really changed the course of my entire existence in doing so and sparked the moxie and sanguinity that are currently such dominant traits.
There was Sra. Duarte who put me in AP Spanish as a Freshman after accurately spotting my linguistic tenacity. There was Monseiur Olsen-Dufour who introduced me to "The Little Prince" - in French, no less! There was Mr. Blair Bear who really polished my writing and taught me it was okay to occasionally be a little brassy in the name of standing up for what I believed in. And then there was Ernesto who really recognized in me my potential the most, out of any teacher I've had. He saw that I wasn't like the rest of them and made me feel acknowledged for the unique person I was for the first time.
When I began this adventure at my school, my lofty goal was to inspire some of the students to really fall in love with the language by finding out more about American culture and by making learning about it all fun. After the first two weeks, I wrote a blog saying how unfit to be a teacher I was and how much I disliked it. I had no idea that by the end of the year, I would have 275 fans, 275 kids who I had not only inspired a love of English and American culture, but whom I'd made feel authentically good about themselves and understood and adored, to boot.
Today I had maybe a 30 second conversation with one of my favorite sophomores, in which I quickly told him how I'd stuck my neck out for a few of them last Friday when everything had happened. He and the others sincerely (and I mean SINCERELY) thanked me for putting myself on the line for them - I get the feeling it's not something that's really happened to them before. I was honored to have been able to do it, too. After he told me not to worry what other people were thinking or saying, because, basically, they had nothing on me - not just in terms of reasoning, but in terms of awesomeness.
^_^
I know it was just a simple sentence or two from a sophomore guy, but it really translated into my life in general: "Don't worry about what people are saying behind your back - you're awesome and we - the ones who truly matter - all know it."
<3
Seriously. I know I risked it a little standing up for them, but that was nothing compared to that mini pearl of wisdom he gave me today - one that I've heard so many times, but one that meant so much more coming from an intelligent, younger person with perspective. <3
Anyway, this weekend I have a lot to accomplish. I have to finish one of my classes, I have to make serious headway on my Thesis and I have to figure out how to approach the head mistress about the possibility of teaching Primary or Secondary rather than Preschool/Kindergarten. I've begun my little book that I plan to fill with reasons, but I need to make them more pithy and from the heart.
Good thing I've stocked up on yummy food, 'cause I won't be leaving the house 'til Monday morning!!! :oP But as I write this, it's already 9:30 and I've accomplished NO studying. I HAVE eaten two fajitas with a clara (half beer half lemon soda), a strawberry white chocolate shortcake, and a pack of oreos with cream cheese and horchata. I HAVE watched four episodes between How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men - but all in Spanish, and I understood most of the jokes, so really that was totally a studying experience. And, finally, I HAVE created my first tumblr, 'cause I'm newly slightly obsessed with it, and I've already practically made B wet his pants thanks to my creativity with gifs:
www.jetsetcupcake.tumblr.com
And now, a trabajar!! (Psshhh... yeah right...)
XOXO
Day 255: Grocery Shopping Spree!
The big excitement of my day was going grocery shopping. I'm not sure if I've ever gone grocery shopping and just bought the whole store, but that's exactly what I did today - and it felt great! I spent €40, which is THE MOST I have ever spent on groceries in this country in one fell swoop. Food here is so cheap that it's incredible. In America, $40 is probably the least I'd ever spent at the grocery store when I was really there to stock up on food!
I got tortellini and pesto; all the ingredients for homemade chicken fajitas; smoked salmon for homemade tapas; raw broccoli and mushrooms for a snack (I snack on whole, raw mushrooms like normal people snack on potato chips - thanks, Co-op, for making my roommates think I'm even weirder than they already did); all the ingredients for homemade strawberry white chocolate shortcake (my newest creation and total fave - also delicious as a sort of peach cobbler, now that strawberries are already going out of season and Spain doesn't import fruits year round like America does); horchata and double stuffed Oreos dipped in cream cheese (strangest guilty pleasure ever - it acts as a stand in for cupcakes, since there is only one good cupcake shop in Madrid and it's too far away to go to often); and... drumroll, please... I SPLURGED AND BOUGHT MAPLE SYRUP FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! The American store recently started selling buttermilk, and so I'm going to go all out and make myself buttermilk pancakes this weekend to kick off my study-fest!!!!!!! I have been craving Slappycakes or Mother's Bistro or Original House like CRAZY... So if I can't go to the pancakes, I'll bring the pancakes to me!!!! ^_^
And that was the exciting part of my day.
Food.
And I'm okay with that. I love food. And now that I'm not surrounded by a million amazing restaurants and I am forced to cook if I want good meals, I'm getting pretty good at it. Sure, I only have about six main courses I'm good at, and only three desserts... But those things I'm good at are freakin delicious and make me so happy! ^_^
The other bit of cheer of the day was that Katie got us all tickets to see Of Monsters and Men next month!!!! After seeing them on SNL a week ago, I'm totally obsessed. I know they're nothing new at all, but they remind me of Portland and J in a happy sort of a way, and I like that their lyrics are just ambiguous enough that I can read whatever I want into them. ^_^ The venue for the concert looks really cool and it'll be awesome to go to my first concert in Spain with my good friends!!!
So far June is looking like it is going to be the best month I've had here - no more school work, two friends visiting (one from London and one from America) on two separate weekends, and now a concert! AWESOME!!! ^_^
Now, to try to get this job and to crank out my thesis...
XOXO
I got tortellini and pesto; all the ingredients for homemade chicken fajitas; smoked salmon for homemade tapas; raw broccoli and mushrooms for a snack (I snack on whole, raw mushrooms like normal people snack on potato chips - thanks, Co-op, for making my roommates think I'm even weirder than they already did); all the ingredients for homemade strawberry white chocolate shortcake (my newest creation and total fave - also delicious as a sort of peach cobbler, now that strawberries are already going out of season and Spain doesn't import fruits year round like America does); horchata and double stuffed Oreos dipped in cream cheese (strangest guilty pleasure ever - it acts as a stand in for cupcakes, since there is only one good cupcake shop in Madrid and it's too far away to go to often); and... drumroll, please... I SPLURGED AND BOUGHT MAPLE SYRUP FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! The American store recently started selling buttermilk, and so I'm going to go all out and make myself buttermilk pancakes this weekend to kick off my study-fest!!!!!!! I have been craving Slappycakes or Mother's Bistro or Original House like CRAZY... So if I can't go to the pancakes, I'll bring the pancakes to me!!!! ^_^
And that was the exciting part of my day.
Food.
And I'm okay with that. I love food. And now that I'm not surrounded by a million amazing restaurants and I am forced to cook if I want good meals, I'm getting pretty good at it. Sure, I only have about six main courses I'm good at, and only three desserts... But those things I'm good at are freakin delicious and make me so happy! ^_^
The other bit of cheer of the day was that Katie got us all tickets to see Of Monsters and Men next month!!!! After seeing them on SNL a week ago, I'm totally obsessed. I know they're nothing new at all, but they remind me of Portland and J in a happy sort of a way, and I like that their lyrics are just ambiguous enough that I can read whatever I want into them. ^_^ The venue for the concert looks really cool and it'll be awesome to go to my first concert in Spain with my good friends!!!
So far June is looking like it is going to be the best month I've had here - no more school work, two friends visiting (one from London and one from America) on two separate weekends, and now a concert! AWESOME!!! ^_^
Now, to try to get this job and to crank out my thesis...
XOXO
Day 254: Day Off!
Today was a Madrid holiday, so I got the day off of work!! ^_^ I had good intentions to spend it working on my thesis, but of course, I didn't. I woke up at 2:30, lazed in bed for another three hours, and then finally got up to to showered and ready to meet a guy in Madrid for a language exchange.
This is the fourth time I've done this, and oddly every time I do it it's with late 20s guys who are computer programmers. O_o Coincidence. Though based on a small sample size, I'd have to conclude that computer programmers, though financially relatively well off, are fairly dull people - or, at least, dull conversationalists. It turns out that I spend the whole time talking, and when I try to ask them questions, they have two second responses. That being said, it's a amazing I can spend 2-5 hours with these people speaking in Spanish as if I were in an interminable monologue. >_< Don't get me wrong - it's fun. I have been introduced to cool cafes and restaurants thanks to this, as well as have been getting good Spanish practice in and building my foreign language confidence... But I was also really hoping to make some friends by doing this and, so far no go. I'm thinking I'm going to have to take a new approach; I need to join a class or a club or something. But what am I interested in that would yield the biggest amount of intriguing people? The next two weeks will be taken up by my thesis, and the two weeks after that by visits from John (he just told me yesterday that he's gonna visit me - yay!!!!) and Lili. And then I'll only have two weeks left and probably will be busy with figuring out my next step, honestly. But after I get resettled into my next life, I need to make a more conscious effort to make friends. Hopefully I can will some inspired idea of how to make them while I'm busy on the thesis and hanging out with visiting friends. :)
XOXO
This is the fourth time I've done this, and oddly every time I do it it's with late 20s guys who are computer programmers. O_o Coincidence. Though based on a small sample size, I'd have to conclude that computer programmers, though financially relatively well off, are fairly dull people - or, at least, dull conversationalists. It turns out that I spend the whole time talking, and when I try to ask them questions, they have two second responses. That being said, it's a amazing I can spend 2-5 hours with these people speaking in Spanish as if I were in an interminable monologue. >_< Don't get me wrong - it's fun. I have been introduced to cool cafes and restaurants thanks to this, as well as have been getting good Spanish practice in and building my foreign language confidence... But I was also really hoping to make some friends by doing this and, so far no go. I'm thinking I'm going to have to take a new approach; I need to join a class or a club or something. But what am I interested in that would yield the biggest amount of intriguing people? The next two weeks will be taken up by my thesis, and the two weeks after that by visits from John (he just told me yesterday that he's gonna visit me - yay!!!!) and Lili. And then I'll only have two weeks left and probably will be busy with figuring out my next step, honestly. But after I get resettled into my next life, I need to make a more conscious effort to make friends. Hopefully I can will some inspired idea of how to make them while I'm busy on the thesis and hanging out with visiting friends. :)
XOXO
Day 253: High School Graduation!!
Today was a big deal day at school. Today was graduation day for the Seniors.
All day long all of their teachers were running around, freaking out. I'm not sure why, exactly, but they were. For a week fellow lady teachers had been preparing me for the event by telling me that I had to dress, "As if I were going to a wedding." After the millionth teacher informed me of this, I started to wonder if I should feel insulted... Did they think I don't know how to dress up or what??... But they assured me they told all new teachers to dress up so that they wouldn't get there in their normal clothes and look way out of place.
I'd listened to the teachers planning for weeks what they were going to wear - lots of them, it seemed, had gone out to buy a new dress and heels for the occasion! Holy crap! So when it came to figuring out what I would wear, it wasn't hard. I picked the new dress that had been sitting in my closet for two months without anywhere to properly debut it. :) I also went with those amazing sparkling nude heels that had tortured my feet the first time I had worn them - but this time I was prepared with this strange clear stick of stuff that makes your feet indestructible (my dad brought it from America after I'd seen an ad for it - and man does that stuff work!!! I recommend it to every single high heel wearer in the world!).
I took a good 45 minutes getting ready - possibly the most amount of time I've spent getting ready in EVER - and carefully did my makeup (complete with bright red lipstick) and hair. By the time I was ready, I was unsure if anybody at school would even recognize me! I think I've worn makeup to school maybe five times all year - and dressed up once (I.e. the first day of school). I'm pretty sure that the people at school have no clue that I have the potential to be an attractive person at all - hence eight of them informing me that I had to REALLY LOOK NICE for this graduation. So, yes, I was pretty darned excited to have an opportunity to be the cute one for a change, instead of the awkward looking American who values sleep far above looks. ;)
Anyway, my favorite teacher picked me up to take me to school, and in no time we were there, standing outside with the other teachers, watching the kids in choir practice. :) All the teachers looked nice, but it wasn't anything too out of the ordinary, since they usually look pretty decent at school. I, on the other hand, kinda stood out. They all commented on how nice I looked, and I felt successful in my endeavor to show them I had the potential in me all along. Haha.
Five minutes of standing in the teachers' huddle later, thought, and I was over it. Don't get me wrong - I like the teachers I work with, I just don't really have much to say to them. First, I have to speak Spanish, and one-on-one that is no problem, but in a big group? Forget it. Second, I can't really relate to what they're talking about. They are adults, and accordingly, they take life and everything in it very seriously. And, let me be blunt: I am ALWAYS against that. Taking life seriously pretty much goes against everything I believe in. You can't be introspective when you do it, you can't see things from other perspectives when you do it, and it generally totally skews the intrinsic truth of any situation. To me, it's the biggest waste of time and energy. And so I just don't do it if I can help it.
I think it's safe to say that people who take themselves and life so seriously are one of my biggest pet peeves... Which is a problem, since it seems like that's how 98% of the world is conditioned to be. >_<
Anyway, I stood there rather awkwardly until the kids finally got done with choir practice, at which point they all ran up to me to marvel at my dress and tell me how beautiful and fashionable I looked.
^_^
They hugged me and touched my dress and oohed and ahhed over and over again. Basically, they made me feel like I was a real life princess and I felt so lucky and grateful. <3 We all chatted together for awhile, and I felt so happy I was hanging out with them instead of the adults. ;)
When it was time to head inside to prepare for the ceremony, I caught site of my Bachis!! The girls told me I looked beautiful and the boys stared at me, but quickly turned the other way. Haha. I had no idea why we were going inside first, but when I was called into a room, I quickly realized it was to get our teacher stoles!!!!
That's right - I got to wear a TEACHER STOLE!!!!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!!!!!! Coolest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!! (And totally worthy of a selfie.)
And then, it was time! We all lined up and walked out very formally to our seats outside. ^_^ It was all so very official and so very adorable. All this fanfare for the ten high school seniors all of the teachers had been complaining about for weeks about their laziness and bad grades... But for this night, everything was centered around honoring them. Cute.
Introductions were made, the big deal senior gave a really good and funny speech full of cute allusions to his peers, and then it was time for their English teacher (my mentor)'s speech. It started just fine, but halfway through it, it began to rain. A few drops at first, and then some sprinkles, and then full fledged drizzle. I had been seated with the perfect view of Favorite student and as the rain began, we couldn't stop exchanged funny faces, which quickly turned into giggles we tried to suppress (sometimes even successfully!). Unequivocally, BEST part of the ceremony!!! ;)
Finally, after her speech was over, the director told us that we would be moving the ceremony inside. As the other teachers did the responsible thing and went to take the beautiful flower arrangements and pieces of furniture that would be ruined if they got too wet, I made a run for it. As I ran under the patio covering, the students in the choir ran up to me, giggling. :) I told them I was freezing and wet, wearing this darn dress, and they all attached themselves to me like really warm and adoring barnacles and told me they would keep me warm. ^_^ We walked like that all the way to the cafeteria, where the ceremony was to finish, giggling and chatting the whole way there! Man, I <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="" data-blogger-escaped-kids="" data-blogger-escaped-those="">
When we got inside, we had to wait for a few minutes while they got everything set up again, and so I went over to Pineapple to hang out while we waited! When I told her that my hair was looking so out of characteristically decent until it got all messed up by the rain, she assured me that I still looked cute and that all the boys in her class had been talking about it... haha. We talked a little more about her latest awesome blog post, and then it was time for the ceremony to continue.
The second part wasn't nearly as eventful, nor was I within range of exchanging silly glances with anybody talented in the art of exchanging silly glances, so I mostly tried to focus my attention on understanding all of the Spanish instead of letting my mind wander too far. The cutest part of the second half was definitely the choir (which I'm pretty sure they threw together the week before - but, considering, they did a great job) and were beyond adorable up there!! ^_^ It's a funny thing to feel proud of these little guys... I mean, I only really see them one hour per week, but somehow it feels like a lot more than that. :)
After the ceremony was over, it was time for a reception filled with refreshments- Spanish style! Yep, that meant tapas and... drumroll... beer and wine!!! That's right - I got to have a GLASS OF WINE AT SCHOOL, while surrounded by my students!!! Um, coolest thing ever. Man, I love some of the cultural differences here in Spain when it comes to education (of course, others I hate, but things hugging kids, getting to tell vocab that would be deemed too inappropriate in America and, now, THIS...!?!?! Seriously awesome.)!!!
Again, all the teachers huddled together in a little group to drink and eat and chat and take pictures. I hovered around them long enough to pose for a few pics, while secretly scanning the room to find my favorite students that had attended the graduation. ;)
Within minutes, I bolted from the pack of teachers, wine glass in hand, and found some of my 6th graders and... yep... my Bachis!!! ^_^ YAY!!! It was seriously weird drinking wine around my Bachis... mostly because it didn't feel that weird, which made it feel super way really weird. Thing is, in Spain, the drinking age is 18, and society seems to just accept that kids start drinking way before that, and nobody really seems to mind too much. They've told me stories about their parties, and so, for me, it's common knowledge that they drink, too. Which would be unheard of and totally taboo in the US. I certainly had never had a drink at their age!!
After hanging out with them for a little while and watching the Senior's video, I was informed that there would be a dinner for just the teachers who the Senior's had had that year and, being that I was technically one of them, I was invited. It was pitched as the type of invitation that was not socially acceptable to turn down, and so I smiled and went and told my teacher friend that she needn't drive me home. She made fun of me for caving, but I said if nothing else I could get a little Spanish practice in. >_< Haha.
Anyway, the dinner turned out to be a pretty cool experience, overall. One of the Bachis went, and I sat next to him, one of my favorite teachers and one of the Senior girls. Together, we giggled and they taught me some colloquial Spanish (cabrearse - to get pissed off = VERY IMPORTANT PHRASE - root, "cabra" which means "goat" - hahaha!!!). It was cool to sit with them, because I felt pretty free to be my strange self, rather than try to be teachery like I feel I should be around most of the other teachers and Seniors.
The dinner itself consisted of tons of tapas and then, for the main course, "carne a la piedra," which translates to, "meat on the rock." Haha. They serve you a plate of raw beef, and then a a plate with three or four sauces and a bowl of sea salt. Then, they bring a super hot stone slab to the table on wooden planks and you cook your meat on the stone then add whatever you want to it when it's ready. Think fondue, but instead of the pot of boiling water, you have a super hot rock. HAHA! ^_^ Let me just say - it was DELICIOUS!!! Seriously, amazing. Some of the best meat I've had in Spain for sure. And, the idea is not to cook it too much to keep the flavor intact. The strips are so thin that it's almost tricky not to cook the meat all the way through, but when you do it right, and then add some of that yummy sea salt... YUM!
As dinner was finishing (roughly three hours after it began - these Spanish people really take their time with their meals - especially when it's a celebration), the Seniors brought out a big bag of PRESENTS for their teachers!!! ^_^ WOW! Apparently that's a thing here - and I think it's awesome. Lots of the presents were sort of gag gifts based on inside jokes they'd developed with their teachers throughout the year, but others were more regular things like books and jewelery. I was sure they wouldn't get me a present, and I really didn't mind, because although we'd technically had two hours of class together per week, I'd pretty much seen them once or twice a month - and even then I think I heard them speak English twice all year. It was basically turned into their study hall, which didn't bother me at all. I mean, these people honestly look a good four years older than me, which makes it way awkward for me to try to impart knowledge to them! HA.
But anyway, just as I thought it was over, I was the last one to be handed a present! Yay! I was given a Spanish flag (I've seriously been wanting one, to put next to my Brazilian flag and Chelsea - England soccer scarf), an Alcala shot glass and and Spain snowglobe! Um, adorable!!!
After dinner all the teachers took a few Seniors in their cars and dropped them off in a neighborhood with bars to celebrate (so weird they can drink at 18 here), and then one of them drove me home. I didn't walk in my front door until 3:15am. Holy. Crap! Considering my other teacher friend had picked me up at 7pm, that was like EIGHT HOURS of graduation festivities - all in Spanish, too.
BAMF.
^_^
All in all, it was a lovely experience to have for my first Spanish high school graduation. ;)
XOXO
All day long all of their teachers were running around, freaking out. I'm not sure why, exactly, but they were. For a week fellow lady teachers had been preparing me for the event by telling me that I had to dress, "As if I were going to a wedding." After the millionth teacher informed me of this, I started to wonder if I should feel insulted... Did they think I don't know how to dress up or what??... But they assured me they told all new teachers to dress up so that they wouldn't get there in their normal clothes and look way out of place.
I'd listened to the teachers planning for weeks what they were going to wear - lots of them, it seemed, had gone out to buy a new dress and heels for the occasion! Holy crap! So when it came to figuring out what I would wear, it wasn't hard. I picked the new dress that had been sitting in my closet for two months without anywhere to properly debut it. :) I also went with those amazing sparkling nude heels that had tortured my feet the first time I had worn them - but this time I was prepared with this strange clear stick of stuff that makes your feet indestructible (my dad brought it from America after I'd seen an ad for it - and man does that stuff work!!! I recommend it to every single high heel wearer in the world!).
I took a good 45 minutes getting ready - possibly the most amount of time I've spent getting ready in EVER - and carefully did my makeup (complete with bright red lipstick) and hair. By the time I was ready, I was unsure if anybody at school would even recognize me! I think I've worn makeup to school maybe five times all year - and dressed up once (I.e. the first day of school). I'm pretty sure that the people at school have no clue that I have the potential to be an attractive person at all - hence eight of them informing me that I had to REALLY LOOK NICE for this graduation. So, yes, I was pretty darned excited to have an opportunity to be the cute one for a change, instead of the awkward looking American who values sleep far above looks. ;)
Anyway, my favorite teacher picked me up to take me to school, and in no time we were there, standing outside with the other teachers, watching the kids in choir practice. :) All the teachers looked nice, but it wasn't anything too out of the ordinary, since they usually look pretty decent at school. I, on the other hand, kinda stood out. They all commented on how nice I looked, and I felt successful in my endeavor to show them I had the potential in me all along. Haha.
Five minutes of standing in the teachers' huddle later, thought, and I was over it. Don't get me wrong - I like the teachers I work with, I just don't really have much to say to them. First, I have to speak Spanish, and one-on-one that is no problem, but in a big group? Forget it. Second, I can't really relate to what they're talking about. They are adults, and accordingly, they take life and everything in it very seriously. And, let me be blunt: I am ALWAYS against that. Taking life seriously pretty much goes against everything I believe in. You can't be introspective when you do it, you can't see things from other perspectives when you do it, and it generally totally skews the intrinsic truth of any situation. To me, it's the biggest waste of time and energy. And so I just don't do it if I can help it.
I think it's safe to say that people who take themselves and life so seriously are one of my biggest pet peeves... Which is a problem, since it seems like that's how 98% of the world is conditioned to be. >_<
Anyway, I stood there rather awkwardly until the kids finally got done with choir practice, at which point they all ran up to me to marvel at my dress and tell me how beautiful and fashionable I looked.
^_^
They hugged me and touched my dress and oohed and ahhed over and over again. Basically, they made me feel like I was a real life princess and I felt so lucky and grateful. <3 We all chatted together for awhile, and I felt so happy I was hanging out with them instead of the adults. ;)
When it was time to head inside to prepare for the ceremony, I caught site of my Bachis!! The girls told me I looked beautiful and the boys stared at me, but quickly turned the other way. Haha. I had no idea why we were going inside first, but when I was called into a room, I quickly realized it was to get our teacher stoles!!!!
That's right - I got to wear a TEACHER STOLE!!!!!!!! Holy crap!!!!!!!!!! Coolest thing ever!!!!!!!!!!!! (And totally worthy of a selfie.)
And then, it was time! We all lined up and walked out very formally to our seats outside. ^_^ It was all so very official and so very adorable. All this fanfare for the ten high school seniors all of the teachers had been complaining about for weeks about their laziness and bad grades... But for this night, everything was centered around honoring them. Cute.
Introductions were made, the big deal senior gave a really good and funny speech full of cute allusions to his peers, and then it was time for their English teacher (my mentor)'s speech. It started just fine, but halfway through it, it began to rain. A few drops at first, and then some sprinkles, and then full fledged drizzle. I had been seated with the perfect view of Favorite student and as the rain began, we couldn't stop exchanged funny faces, which quickly turned into giggles we tried to suppress (sometimes even successfully!). Unequivocally, BEST part of the ceremony!!! ;)
Finally, after her speech was over, the director told us that we would be moving the ceremony inside. As the other teachers did the responsible thing and went to take the beautiful flower arrangements and pieces of furniture that would be ruined if they got too wet, I made a run for it. As I ran under the patio covering, the students in the choir ran up to me, giggling. :) I told them I was freezing and wet, wearing this darn dress, and they all attached themselves to me like really warm and adoring barnacles and told me they would keep me warm. ^_^ We walked like that all the way to the cafeteria, where the ceremony was to finish, giggling and chatting the whole way there! Man, I <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="" data-blogger-escaped-kids="" data-blogger-escaped-those="">
When we got inside, we had to wait for a few minutes while they got everything set up again, and so I went over to Pineapple to hang out while we waited! When I told her that my hair was looking so out of characteristically decent until it got all messed up by the rain, she assured me that I still looked cute and that all the boys in her class had been talking about it... haha. We talked a little more about her latest awesome blog post, and then it was time for the ceremony to continue.
The second part wasn't nearly as eventful, nor was I within range of exchanging silly glances with anybody talented in the art of exchanging silly glances, so I mostly tried to focus my attention on understanding all of the Spanish instead of letting my mind wander too far. The cutest part of the second half was definitely the choir (which I'm pretty sure they threw together the week before - but, considering, they did a great job) and were beyond adorable up there!! ^_^ It's a funny thing to feel proud of these little guys... I mean, I only really see them one hour per week, but somehow it feels like a lot more than that. :)
After the ceremony was over, it was time for a reception filled with refreshments- Spanish style! Yep, that meant tapas and... drumroll... beer and wine!!! That's right - I got to have a GLASS OF WINE AT SCHOOL, while surrounded by my students!!! Um, coolest thing ever. Man, I love some of the cultural differences here in Spain when it comes to education (of course, others I hate, but things hugging kids, getting to tell vocab that would be deemed too inappropriate in America and, now, THIS...!?!?! Seriously awesome.)!!!
Again, all the teachers huddled together in a little group to drink and eat and chat and take pictures. I hovered around them long enough to pose for a few pics, while secretly scanning the room to find my favorite students that had attended the graduation. ;)
Within minutes, I bolted from the pack of teachers, wine glass in hand, and found some of my 6th graders and... yep... my Bachis!!! ^_^ YAY!!! It was seriously weird drinking wine around my Bachis... mostly because it didn't feel that weird, which made it feel super way really weird. Thing is, in Spain, the drinking age is 18, and society seems to just accept that kids start drinking way before that, and nobody really seems to mind too much. They've told me stories about their parties, and so, for me, it's common knowledge that they drink, too. Which would be unheard of and totally taboo in the US. I certainly had never had a drink at their age!!
After hanging out with them for a little while and watching the Senior's video, I was informed that there would be a dinner for just the teachers who the Senior's had had that year and, being that I was technically one of them, I was invited. It was pitched as the type of invitation that was not socially acceptable to turn down, and so I smiled and went and told my teacher friend that she needn't drive me home. She made fun of me for caving, but I said if nothing else I could get a little Spanish practice in. >_< Haha.
Anyway, the dinner turned out to be a pretty cool experience, overall. One of the Bachis went, and I sat next to him, one of my favorite teachers and one of the Senior girls. Together, we giggled and they taught me some colloquial Spanish (cabrearse - to get pissed off = VERY IMPORTANT PHRASE - root, "cabra" which means "goat" - hahaha!!!). It was cool to sit with them, because I felt pretty free to be my strange self, rather than try to be teachery like I feel I should be around most of the other teachers and Seniors.
The dinner itself consisted of tons of tapas and then, for the main course, "carne a la piedra," which translates to, "meat on the rock." Haha. They serve you a plate of raw beef, and then a a plate with three or four sauces and a bowl of sea salt. Then, they bring a super hot stone slab to the table on wooden planks and you cook your meat on the stone then add whatever you want to it when it's ready. Think fondue, but instead of the pot of boiling water, you have a super hot rock. HAHA! ^_^ Let me just say - it was DELICIOUS!!! Seriously, amazing. Some of the best meat I've had in Spain for sure. And, the idea is not to cook it too much to keep the flavor intact. The strips are so thin that it's almost tricky not to cook the meat all the way through, but when you do it right, and then add some of that yummy sea salt... YUM!
As dinner was finishing (roughly three hours after it began - these Spanish people really take their time with their meals - especially when it's a celebration), the Seniors brought out a big bag of PRESENTS for their teachers!!! ^_^ WOW! Apparently that's a thing here - and I think it's awesome. Lots of the presents were sort of gag gifts based on inside jokes they'd developed with their teachers throughout the year, but others were more regular things like books and jewelery. I was sure they wouldn't get me a present, and I really didn't mind, because although we'd technically had two hours of class together per week, I'd pretty much seen them once or twice a month - and even then I think I heard them speak English twice all year. It was basically turned into their study hall, which didn't bother me at all. I mean, these people honestly look a good four years older than me, which makes it way awkward for me to try to impart knowledge to them! HA.
But anyway, just as I thought it was over, I was the last one to be handed a present! Yay! I was given a Spanish flag (I've seriously been wanting one, to put next to my Brazilian flag and Chelsea - England soccer scarf), an Alcala shot glass and and Spain snowglobe! Um, adorable!!!
After dinner all the teachers took a few Seniors in their cars and dropped them off in a neighborhood with bars to celebrate (so weird they can drink at 18 here), and then one of them drove me home. I didn't walk in my front door until 3:15am. Holy. Crap! Considering my other teacher friend had picked me up at 7pm, that was like EIGHT HOURS of graduation festivities - all in Spanish, too.
BAMF.
^_^
All in all, it was a lovely experience to have for my first Spanish high school graduation. ;)
XOXO
Day 252: >_<
Monday was Monday. On the bright side, I didn't get angry with my 7th graders - and, as we all know, that's reason to rejoice right there. I actually almost enjoyed them today, as a matter of fact. O_o Whoa. But just almost. ;)
On the not so bright side, after my cheery first hour with my Bachis, one of the teachers had a serious talk with me about all that went down last Friday. :-/ Apparently that one teacher in the whole school who I seriously dislike was eavesdropping on my conversations with students and misinterpreted everything I was telling them and went and told one of my favorite teachers that I was insulting and belittling her as a teacher - and then went and tried to report me to the head mistress!!!
>_<
I have a few choice words to write, but as I know my favorite Bachis read this, I'll do my best to refrain. But man, that really pissed me off. What an immature thing to do. If she thought she heard something, could she not come over and asked to speak to me outside, rather than unnecessarily screaming at the students I was talking to and then going and "tattling" on me behind my back??? Sometimes students seriously can be more mature than teachers... And I think I'm beginning to realize children in general can be more with-it than adults. That being said, I feel really lucky I get to be surrounded by more kids than adults, because I think they understand me better than the average adult, and, likewise, I think I understand them better than the average adult. Brother.
I <3 my students. I hope this whole thing doesn't come back to get me. I really wasn't meaning to say anything bad about one of my favorite teachers, but rather was trying to console the students about their silly vocab test they were freaking out about. I just don't understand why teachers have to have this front with students - like they're superior and stuff. I almost always had no respect for those kinds of teachers (except Blair Bear, of course). I always learned most from the teachers who were just real people with nothing to prove. And that's exactly how I try to be as a teacher. Why inspire fear and resentment in students when you can inspire adoration and enthusiasm?! Spain clearly hasn't come around to that epiphany yet... But, jeeze, I hope they figure it out soon. These poor tiny people... <3
XOXO
On the not so bright side, after my cheery first hour with my Bachis, one of the teachers had a serious talk with me about all that went down last Friday. :-/ Apparently that one teacher in the whole school who I seriously dislike was eavesdropping on my conversations with students and misinterpreted everything I was telling them and went and told one of my favorite teachers that I was insulting and belittling her as a teacher - and then went and tried to report me to the head mistress!!!
>_<
I have a few choice words to write, but as I know my favorite Bachis read this, I'll do my best to refrain. But man, that really pissed me off. What an immature thing to do. If she thought she heard something, could she not come over and asked to speak to me outside, rather than unnecessarily screaming at the students I was talking to and then going and "tattling" on me behind my back??? Sometimes students seriously can be more mature than teachers... And I think I'm beginning to realize children in general can be more with-it than adults. That being said, I feel really lucky I get to be surrounded by more kids than adults, because I think they understand me better than the average adult, and, likewise, I think I understand them better than the average adult. Brother.
I <3 my students. I hope this whole thing doesn't come back to get me. I really wasn't meaning to say anything bad about one of my favorite teachers, but rather was trying to console the students about their silly vocab test they were freaking out about. I just don't understand why teachers have to have this front with students - like they're superior and stuff. I almost always had no respect for those kinds of teachers (except Blair Bear, of course). I always learned most from the teachers who were just real people with nothing to prove. And that's exactly how I try to be as a teacher. Why inspire fear and resentment in students when you can inspire adoration and enthusiasm?! Spain clearly hasn't come around to that epiphany yet... But, jeeze, I hope they figure it out soon. These poor tiny people... <3
XOXO
Sunday, May 12, 2013
Day 251: "Don't be like the rest of them, Darling."
Today (after waking up at 2 pm and then going to the store and making WHITE CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE - OMG DELICOUS), I did school work for my Master's degree and finally finished a whole class a week early - a class that'd I'd consistantly been about a month behind the whole time! >_< Haha! That teacher's gonna be shocked when she sees all my posts are up to date, and even ahead of date on one assignment. Sheesh.
While working all day, I rerealized how... unique (weird?)... I am. Abby and Katie and Marianna sit in one spot and focus on nothing but their task at hand, stopping only to have a quick tea or coffee or water and check their Facebook. And they can be like this for hours and hours, days on end.
And then there's me.
I read an article.
Then I turn on a song and start dancing.
Then I read another article.
Then I start talking to the article while I'm reading it, as if the writer of the article can hear me. Usually I'm insulting them. Unless I'm not, in which case I'm telling them we should be friends, 'cause they're way more clever than the average person.do
Then I listen to another few songs and sing along (or meow along, if I can't understand the words).
Then I start to write my reflection, all while squeaking to some new music I just found.
Then I watch one of the assigned Youtube videos, while doing a jig in my chair and talking to the people in the movie.
Then I break for a few swigs of Moscatel.
Then I read half a page, before searching something really random and unrelated on Google.
Then I write a little more, and get really into it, and end up writing three times as much as was assigned.
Then I sing and dance again.
Then I start to day dream about something.
And then I watch another assigned Youtube video.
Which makes me remember something I wanted to journal about.
And then I IM a friend.
And then I skip around the house and get some food.
And then I write another four pages on accident.
And read a little.
And meow-sing some more to a Justin Bieber song or a Monsters and Men song or an Amy Winehouse song. Or all three. Once I tried two at the same time open in different windows. It didn't work out well.
I look crazy to Abby and Marianna and Katie. But the thing is, I'm enjoy the HELL out of myself. I'm giggling the whole time and random thoughts that cross my mind and commentary I'm giving aloud on what I'm reading and watching. I have conversations in my head with random people about what I'm learning and usually end up laughing about them, too. I'm just so HAPPY. It's ridiculous. And, by being so happy, I get an amazing amount done in the end, with much higher quality and thoughtfulness, than had I sat here fully focused on the task in front of me.
I don't know WHERE I learned to be like this from. I'm not this way when I'm actually at school as a student (but man I AM this way when I'm at school as a teacher - haha). I'm quite focused and not so ADHD in the classroom. But when left to my own devices? I'm all over the place - and happy as a clam about it.
The fruits of my studying today have produced the following:
An Adorable Bossa Nova Song (B sent me this song last night saying I'd "prolly like it," and boy was he right!! I've been listening to it all day long and it makes me feel like I'm in some crazy adventurous dream...)
16 Habits of Highly Creative People (I found this after Abby came in and looked at me weird and Katie asked why I was meowing. I wanted proof it was okay I was so weird. And, as it turns out, I found all the proof I needed. HA.)
TED Talk - i.e. What Makes Me Such a Unique Teacher (I found this yesterday when I was fooling around online and rediscovered my love for TED Talks while I was putting away laundry. This lady's talk literally made me cry, because I just agree so much with her, and see myself in what she was describing!!!)
Finland's Education System (I learned about this in the class I worked on today. What you don't hear in this mini introduction to it is how all the students take their shoes off when they get to school to create a relaxed environment and how their average school day is about four hours long, with a break between each class. I don't know how the brilliant person that came up with this got people to listen to him/her, but man do I salute them. It makes me wish I could create my own education system and try it out!!)
XOXO
While working all day, I rerealized how... unique (weird?)... I am. Abby and Katie and Marianna sit in one spot and focus on nothing but their task at hand, stopping only to have a quick tea or coffee or water and check their Facebook. And they can be like this for hours and hours, days on end.
And then there's me.
I read an article.
Then I turn on a song and start dancing.
Then I read another article.
Then I start talking to the article while I'm reading it, as if the writer of the article can hear me. Usually I'm insulting them. Unless I'm not, in which case I'm telling them we should be friends, 'cause they're way more clever than the average person.do
Then I listen to another few songs and sing along (or meow along, if I can't understand the words).
Then I start to write my reflection, all while squeaking to some new music I just found.
Then I watch one of the assigned Youtube videos, while doing a jig in my chair and talking to the people in the movie.
Then I break for a few swigs of Moscatel.
Then I read half a page, before searching something really random and unrelated on Google.
Then I write a little more, and get really into it, and end up writing three times as much as was assigned.
Then I sing and dance again.
Then I start to day dream about something.
And then I watch another assigned Youtube video.
Which makes me remember something I wanted to journal about.
And then I IM a friend.
And then I skip around the house and get some food.
And then I write another four pages on accident.
And read a little.
And meow-sing some more to a Justin Bieber song or a Monsters and Men song or an Amy Winehouse song. Or all three. Once I tried two at the same time open in different windows. It didn't work out well.
I look crazy to Abby and Marianna and Katie. But the thing is, I'm enjoy the HELL out of myself. I'm giggling the whole time and random thoughts that cross my mind and commentary I'm giving aloud on what I'm reading and watching. I have conversations in my head with random people about what I'm learning and usually end up laughing about them, too. I'm just so HAPPY. It's ridiculous. And, by being so happy, I get an amazing amount done in the end, with much higher quality and thoughtfulness, than had I sat here fully focused on the task in front of me.
I don't know WHERE I learned to be like this from. I'm not this way when I'm actually at school as a student (but man I AM this way when I'm at school as a teacher - haha). I'm quite focused and not so ADHD in the classroom. But when left to my own devices? I'm all over the place - and happy as a clam about it.
The fruits of my studying today have produced the following:
An Adorable Bossa Nova Song (B sent me this song last night saying I'd "prolly like it," and boy was he right!! I've been listening to it all day long and it makes me feel like I'm in some crazy adventurous dream...)
16 Habits of Highly Creative People (I found this after Abby came in and looked at me weird and Katie asked why I was meowing. I wanted proof it was okay I was so weird. And, as it turns out, I found all the proof I needed. HA.)
TED Talk - i.e. What Makes Me Such a Unique Teacher (I found this yesterday when I was fooling around online and rediscovered my love for TED Talks while I was putting away laundry. This lady's talk literally made me cry, because I just agree so much with her, and see myself in what she was describing!!!)
Finland's Education System (I learned about this in the class I worked on today. What you don't hear in this mini introduction to it is how all the students take their shoes off when they get to school to create a relaxed environment and how their average school day is about four hours long, with a break between each class. I don't know how the brilliant person that came up with this got people to listen to him/her, but man do I salute them. It makes me wish I could create my own education system and try it out!!)
XOXO
Day 250: I Did NOTHING Today!!
I had big, lofty goals for the day. My roomies were all off in Madrid studying at cafes and I had the place to myself. I was gonna accomplish so much!
And then I didn't. (Well, at least not the stuff I meant to accomplish.)
I'd gotten home at 5 am, and had to be at the university by 10:45 for another talk at the Bilingual Conference. This one, I'm happy to announce, was a little bit better than the previous day's, because I was assigned to the fabulous, flamboyant black American man's talk. He was the best speaker I've heard in a long time, and even fooled me into thinking I was learning a lot more than I actually realized I had when I left. ;) But it was a very enjoyable hour and a half, despite running on five hours of sleep, and that's certainly something.
After the talk, I went to get my favorite breakfast in Alcala (fresh OJ and fresh chocolate croissant) and then finally defuzzed (my face is just so much prettier with two eyebrows instead of one, it's ridiculous) and got my favorite lady to do it, and she even stayed 45 minutes late to pencil me in! YAY! I seriously feel so much prettier after that's done, and it does wonders for my self-confidence and self-image, even though I doubt many even notice a difference like I do.
The rest of the day was spent half nodding off in bed playing Freecell, and then power cleaning my room and doing laundry (AND EVEN MOVING MY BED AND SWEEPING UNDER IT) and doing dishes. By the time I was done, it was really late and although I felt more awake, I did not have the ability to harness my newfound energy into doing anything academic.
Most epic part of the day? When the landlady came and went on a 20 minute rant about how it was inappropriate to study at the kitchen table because "there are 'normas'" and "I'm obviously right" and "maybe you just can't understand how right I am." It was seriously like the Twilight Zone or Candid Camera. I have no words to describe how surreal it was - this woman barging into our apartment and acting like studying at the kitchen table was a crime as heinous as murder. Seriously. She was AGHAST. And would not BUDGE until somebody agreed with her. She wasn't asking us to agree - she was INFORMING US that we had NO CHOICE but to agree because SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY RIGHT. Abby and Marianna were pissed. All I could do was laugh. How do people become that self-consumed and self-important? It's like honestly astonishing.
Anyway, other than that bit of entertainment, I didn't do much all day. But man, sweeping my room was a big deal for me. It was way gross and I dealt with it like a pro.
After my roomies got back really late, Katie came in and asked what I'd done all day. I told her nothing. She looked really confused and like she felt bad for me, but honestly, it was great. I'm finally being able to be alone and by myself and not even be necesarily super productive, but enjoy the hell out of my day. I listened to some TED Talks, folded my jeans just how I like, had a silly convo with B, broke a glass and got the giggles over it, took out my bun and loved the crap out of my curly, bouncy (albeit greasy) hair, journaled in my favorite journal. It was actually really great. And that's something that I used to be great at, but that's taken me some time to relearn - how to just be by myself.
I'm so glad it's finally coming back to me!!! ^_^
I've started getting this weird feeling recently where I have mini epiphanies where I suddenly realize I am going to me ME for the rest of my life. It's very meta-cognitive of me in a way. But anyway, this realization makes me delighted. I've been working hard this whole year to love myself again, and it's days like today that show me how far I've come since last September.
I found this on Pinterest, and maybe this is why it's been consuming my thoughts:
"Be the kind of person you'd be happy to spend your entire life with since you're gonna be."
Do other people see themselves as two pieces of the same being? Because I do. I have me me, and then I have the wiser part of me who sometimes helps me out when I need it. I'm finally starting to feel a lot closer to being that other part of myself every once in awhile, and it makes me giddy. :)
XOXO
And then I didn't. (Well, at least not the stuff I meant to accomplish.)
I'd gotten home at 5 am, and had to be at the university by 10:45 for another talk at the Bilingual Conference. This one, I'm happy to announce, was a little bit better than the previous day's, because I was assigned to the fabulous, flamboyant black American man's talk. He was the best speaker I've heard in a long time, and even fooled me into thinking I was learning a lot more than I actually realized I had when I left. ;) But it was a very enjoyable hour and a half, despite running on five hours of sleep, and that's certainly something.
After the talk, I went to get my favorite breakfast in Alcala (fresh OJ and fresh chocolate croissant) and then finally defuzzed (my face is just so much prettier with two eyebrows instead of one, it's ridiculous) and got my favorite lady to do it, and she even stayed 45 minutes late to pencil me in! YAY! I seriously feel so much prettier after that's done, and it does wonders for my self-confidence and self-image, even though I doubt many even notice a difference like I do.
The rest of the day was spent half nodding off in bed playing Freecell, and then power cleaning my room and doing laundry (AND EVEN MOVING MY BED AND SWEEPING UNDER IT) and doing dishes. By the time I was done, it was really late and although I felt more awake, I did not have the ability to harness my newfound energy into doing anything academic.
Most epic part of the day? When the landlady came and went on a 20 minute rant about how it was inappropriate to study at the kitchen table because "there are 'normas'" and "I'm obviously right" and "maybe you just can't understand how right I am." It was seriously like the Twilight Zone or Candid Camera. I have no words to describe how surreal it was - this woman barging into our apartment and acting like studying at the kitchen table was a crime as heinous as murder. Seriously. She was AGHAST. And would not BUDGE until somebody agreed with her. She wasn't asking us to agree - she was INFORMING US that we had NO CHOICE but to agree because SHE WAS OBVIOUSLY RIGHT. Abby and Marianna were pissed. All I could do was laugh. How do people become that self-consumed and self-important? It's like honestly astonishing.
Anyway, other than that bit of entertainment, I didn't do much all day. But man, sweeping my room was a big deal for me. It was way gross and I dealt with it like a pro.
After my roomies got back really late, Katie came in and asked what I'd done all day. I told her nothing. She looked really confused and like she felt bad for me, but honestly, it was great. I'm finally being able to be alone and by myself and not even be necesarily super productive, but enjoy the hell out of my day. I listened to some TED Talks, folded my jeans just how I like, had a silly convo with B, broke a glass and got the giggles over it, took out my bun and loved the crap out of my curly, bouncy (albeit greasy) hair, journaled in my favorite journal. It was actually really great. And that's something that I used to be great at, but that's taken me some time to relearn - how to just be by myself.
I'm so glad it's finally coming back to me!!! ^_^
I've started getting this weird feeling recently where I have mini epiphanies where I suddenly realize I am going to me ME for the rest of my life. It's very meta-cognitive of me in a way. But anyway, this realization makes me delighted. I've been working hard this whole year to love myself again, and it's days like today that show me how far I've come since last September.
I found this on Pinterest, and maybe this is why it's been consuming my thoughts:
"Be the kind of person you'd be happy to spend your entire life with since you're gonna be."
Do other people see themselves as two pieces of the same being? Because I do. I have me me, and then I have the wiser part of me who sometimes helps me out when I need it. I'm finally starting to feel a lot closer to being that other part of myself every once in awhile, and it makes me giddy. :)
XOXO
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