I took Lili to the Arabic baths this morning after a nice breakfast of tortilla, churros with chocolate and fresh OJ in the Letters neighborhood.
Abby and I had planned to go together months ago, but after things between us got really weird and distant, I decided I wanted to go with somebody who I could feel comfortable around. After all, that is the point of the baths. To relax completely and let new, calm perspectives filled with truth envelop you as you wash away all of the negativity.
And it was all exactly what I needed.
Instead of seeing the future as a big, scary black hole that was sure to suck any self-love and self-confidence I had gained this year... I had a moment of clarity and saw it as an enticing and enchanting adventure down a rabbit hole on which I was about to embark at any moment. I needn't feel so out of control and doomed and lost. Maybe it would even be okay to see it as a beginning to something amazing.
During the baths, Lili turned to me suddenly and asked, "How is somebody as pretty and as fun as you single??" She looked at me with authentic curiosity and waited for a response. It was the first time anybody (besides some of my students - haha) had asked me such a thing and it actually made me feel really good. :)
After the baths and a massage, I got back to the lockers to change and found my phone filled with messages from people I'd been hoping to hear from! <3
After Lili left in the afternoon, I went over to Picasso's for our final class - a two hour one prepping for his English and Science finals. He was actually really excited to see me (you know you're a good teacher when a 9 year old is excited about spending two hours of his Sunday afternoon studying with you - JEEZE!!!). We had a lot of fun making his action figures part of a town hall meeting and in charge of various municipal services (this was what his test was to be on), and then went over the future tense with "going to." The whole time he kept using "will" and "won't", which I'd taught him a few weeks ago cuz he had been curious! :) I told him they were a secret and he couldn't use them, so it's his favorite structure to use now. Hahaha! It was sad it was our last real class, as he and I have established such an awesome relationship! :( His mom gave us ice cream Popsicles to celebrate the end of the private classes and we sat out on their terrace and chatted a little. :)
At night time I stayed up til 2:30am making my Bachis paper plate awards and stawberry shortcakes! ^_^ Love my Bachis.
XOXO
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Day 285: Lili & Retiro
Lili and I got up nice and late. We were in absolute no rush, and the only thing on our mind upon throwing on some clothes was food! As I hadn't eaten much in the past few days and was feeling uncharacteristically ravenous, I decided to ask if Lili would be interested in going to the restaurant under my apartment for some super delicious Spanish seafood paella. Her twinkling eyes were all the response I needed and within five minutes we were sitting on the terrace having a drink! The paella took its sweet time in getting to us, but it was WELL worth the wait! Paella and tinto de verano brunch FTW!!!!!
After our scrumptious meal, I took her on a mini tour of Alcala and we took our pictures in the most touristy spots before ultimately heading to the train station to go into Madrid. I'd asked her the night before if there was anything in particular she wanted to see and her response was simply that she wanted to have a fun, relaxed weekend! She said if there was anything I had wanted to do but hadn't had a friend to do it with, she'd be up for it.
Best guest response ever! I felt absolutely no pressure to run around and show her the famous sites, and instead got to really enjoy my time with her just hanging out. Upon arriving in the city, we immediately got a frozen yogurt, as the temperature was in the high 90s and poor Lili was melting! Next, I took her to Retiro where we rented a boat for 45 minutes and spent the time well crashing into other boats, giggling, snapping photos of each other and even recording a video of me singing "Row Row Row Your Boat"!!!!! ^_^ After our second frozen treat of the day, we spread out my picnic blanket and took a sunny siesta for an hour and a half!! Most relaxing afternoon I've ever spent in a park!
When we finally told each other we had to get up and stop being so lazy, I roused her by proposing a Starbucks frappucino and dress shopping at Desigual. Awesome. :) The cold drinks hit the spot, and Lili bought a really cute dress at Desigual (and I may have began to dangerously rekindle my love with the giant Callao store, too, after I tried dresses on just for the fun of it with her!).
It was already 9ish when we realized we were getting hungry for dinner, and we picked a random restaurant near Mercado San Miguel which turned out to be super delicious!!! We shared three tapas and some sangria and talked and talked. The best tapa we had was definitely the pork solomillo with Pedro Ximenez sauce... Oh my goodness. It's kinda like what I envision a dish called "Pork Marsala" would taste like; the brown sauce was almost maplesque, which made the meat very sweet and tender! Yummmmmmmy!!!
Although our original plan had been to go out dancing when we got home, a 45 minute train ride later and we were pooped. Between this and our fairly early Sunday morning ahead of us, we turned in earlier than normal people should, but it just made the overall day that much more rejuvenating!
XOXO
After our scrumptious meal, I took her on a mini tour of Alcala and we took our pictures in the most touristy spots before ultimately heading to the train station to go into Madrid. I'd asked her the night before if there was anything in particular she wanted to see and her response was simply that she wanted to have a fun, relaxed weekend! She said if there was anything I had wanted to do but hadn't had a friend to do it with, she'd be up for it.
Best guest response ever! I felt absolutely no pressure to run around and show her the famous sites, and instead got to really enjoy my time with her just hanging out. Upon arriving in the city, we immediately got a frozen yogurt, as the temperature was in the high 90s and poor Lili was melting! Next, I took her to Retiro where we rented a boat for 45 minutes and spent the time well crashing into other boats, giggling, snapping photos of each other and even recording a video of me singing "Row Row Row Your Boat"!!!!! ^_^ After our second frozen treat of the day, we spread out my picnic blanket and took a sunny siesta for an hour and a half!! Most relaxing afternoon I've ever spent in a park!
When we finally told each other we had to get up and stop being so lazy, I roused her by proposing a Starbucks frappucino and dress shopping at Desigual. Awesome. :) The cold drinks hit the spot, and Lili bought a really cute dress at Desigual (and I may have began to dangerously rekindle my love with the giant Callao store, too, after I tried dresses on just for the fun of it with her!).
It was already 9ish when we realized we were getting hungry for dinner, and we picked a random restaurant near Mercado San Miguel which turned out to be super delicious!!! We shared three tapas and some sangria and talked and talked. The best tapa we had was definitely the pork solomillo with Pedro Ximenez sauce... Oh my goodness. It's kinda like what I envision a dish called "Pork Marsala" would taste like; the brown sauce was almost maplesque, which made the meat very sweet and tender! Yummmmmmmy!!!
Although our original plan had been to go out dancing when we got home, a 45 minute train ride later and we were pooped. Between this and our fairly early Sunday morning ahead of us, we turned in earlier than normal people should, but it just made the overall day that much more rejuvenating!
XOXO
Day 284: Disappointed, Ashamed & Scared
Yeah, it is my fault. I know I am totally overreacting. But in this moment, all I can think about is...
I don't know where I belong. After my roomies leave (with whom I haven't even really had a relationship with in a month anyway), I don't really have anybody here. Once again, a whole year goes by and no new friends... How does this happen? I had a better year here than I had in Portland, but I really don't feel an overwhelming need to stay next year. Or even, necessarily, through the summer.
Today's letdown really kinda sucked the hope I was attempting to hold on to right out of the air. My mistake as usual for putting that much on one person - and a person I don't even know. But EFF.
And what is with this people analyzing me thing? B, L, H... And now this guy. What audacity - and yet they always make me feel like the one that has something wrong with me. What happened to my adoring high school boyfriends? Why haven't I felt like the super adored one since I was 17? Yeah, with Julia sometimes... But even there, there was always something I felt like I was in competition with.
Just as I was hoping I was over that. Just as I met a guy who I thought would be on an equal playing field as me... But don't worry, I don't have to prove anything to him. He's intrigued by me and can tell that I'm trying to overcompensate for feeling unlikable in the past. But I don't need to feel that way around him. He doesn't want the bullshit - he just wants to get to know me... Which is why our plan to hang out first was canceled and then he invited his best friend who he sees all the time. Which is why the conversation always goes to the emotionally unavailable girl he's obsessed with. Which is why he analyzes everything yet, besides the general "intriguing" comment, never really has anything overwhelmingly complimentary to say.
If I can't find anybody really serious for awhile, can I at least find somebody who adores me for who I am, and doesn't sit there and analyze me and tell me what's wrong with me (without judgement, of course - ugh)?! This is a little silly, but those few days in Dublin with the Brazilian twin...? He was so affectionate and amazed and respectful and sweet. He made things about me and not just himself. For those few days, I felt spoiled like a little princess.
That's what I want next. I want to be the girl they're boring all their other friends talking about, not the girl they're boring going on and on about these lameasses that don't even compare to me. I want to feel worshiped. I want to feel like how the girls who take Ryan Gosling's character always feel in those movies.
I'm done with people analyzing me. Judging me. Making me second guess myself. Making me feel like crap about myself. It makes me so upset. And I know they're not worth it. But attracting so many to me makes me feel like there must really BE something wrong with me... Otherwise I'd be getting the right ones?!
I want people who are smart, witty, creative, jet-set, bilingual, adventurous, funny, cuddly, sweet, affectionate, successful, respectful, attractive, emotionally competent... And, I want a person to worship me like a princess and adore me for exactly who I am... And be amazed by that girl everyday.
At the same time, my unrealistic and idealized expectations have got to stop. I need to start accepting people for who they are and not expecting anything out of them. I need to see them as complete little beings who just want to be loved themselves.
But I'm scared.
Right now, I know in a few days I'll be able to change my whole perspective on all of this. I'll see today as a great example of how I need to stop being and I will be grateful for the fun parts of making cupcakes and mini witty retorts and being called squishy and randomly hugged. I'll feel grateful for having randomly found such awesome people and I'll feel bad for placing such stupid expectations on them and will apologize for not accepting them for who they are and for underestimating my own value.
But I will only be able to do that after I go to school and feel all of the love and adoration from my students. Having 250 adoring souks really does wonders for a girl's self image! But what happens when they're all gone? When I never see them again? Will I still be able to love and adore myself this much???
XOXO
I don't know where I belong. After my roomies leave (with whom I haven't even really had a relationship with in a month anyway), I don't really have anybody here. Once again, a whole year goes by and no new friends... How does this happen? I had a better year here than I had in Portland, but I really don't feel an overwhelming need to stay next year. Or even, necessarily, through the summer.
Today's letdown really kinda sucked the hope I was attempting to hold on to right out of the air. My mistake as usual for putting that much on one person - and a person I don't even know. But EFF.
And what is with this people analyzing me thing? B, L, H... And now this guy. What audacity - and yet they always make me feel like the one that has something wrong with me. What happened to my adoring high school boyfriends? Why haven't I felt like the super adored one since I was 17? Yeah, with Julia sometimes... But even there, there was always something I felt like I was in competition with.
Just as I was hoping I was over that. Just as I met a guy who I thought would be on an equal playing field as me... But don't worry, I don't have to prove anything to him. He's intrigued by me and can tell that I'm trying to overcompensate for feeling unlikable in the past. But I don't need to feel that way around him. He doesn't want the bullshit - he just wants to get to know me... Which is why our plan to hang out first was canceled and then he invited his best friend who he sees all the time. Which is why the conversation always goes to the emotionally unavailable girl he's obsessed with. Which is why he analyzes everything yet, besides the general "intriguing" comment, never really has anything overwhelmingly complimentary to say.
If I can't find anybody really serious for awhile, can I at least find somebody who adores me for who I am, and doesn't sit there and analyze me and tell me what's wrong with me (without judgement, of course - ugh)?! This is a little silly, but those few days in Dublin with the Brazilian twin...? He was so affectionate and amazed and respectful and sweet. He made things about me and not just himself. For those few days, I felt spoiled like a little princess.
That's what I want next. I want to be the girl they're boring all their other friends talking about, not the girl they're boring going on and on about these lameasses that don't even compare to me. I want to feel worshiped. I want to feel like how the girls who take Ryan Gosling's character always feel in those movies.
I'm done with people analyzing me. Judging me. Making me second guess myself. Making me feel like crap about myself. It makes me so upset. And I know they're not worth it. But attracting so many to me makes me feel like there must really BE something wrong with me... Otherwise I'd be getting the right ones?!
I want people who are smart, witty, creative, jet-set, bilingual, adventurous, funny, cuddly, sweet, affectionate, successful, respectful, attractive, emotionally competent... And, I want a person to worship me like a princess and adore me for exactly who I am... And be amazed by that girl everyday.
At the same time, my unrealistic and idealized expectations have got to stop. I need to start accepting people for who they are and not expecting anything out of them. I need to see them as complete little beings who just want to be loved themselves.
But I'm scared.
Right now, I know in a few days I'll be able to change my whole perspective on all of this. I'll see today as a great example of how I need to stop being and I will be grateful for the fun parts of making cupcakes and mini witty retorts and being called squishy and randomly hugged. I'll feel grateful for having randomly found such awesome people and I'll feel bad for placing such stupid expectations on them and will apologize for not accepting them for who they are and for underestimating my own value.
But I will only be able to do that after I go to school and feel all of the love and adoration from my students. Having 250 adoring souks really does wonders for a girl's self image! But what happens when they're all gone? When I never see them again? Will I still be able to love and adore myself this much???
XOXO
Day 283: Shopping Spree
I only had two classes this morning, so I decided to leave school around noon and go on a shopping adventure. I wanted summer sandals and a new outfit. And that's exactly what I found! The sandals are absolutely unique and adorable, and the outfit is very pinup nautical - a look I've always hoped to be able to accomplish, but have never successfully been able to pull off - until today! *YES!!!*
I had a quick lunch at 100 Montaditos, where the lady at the register made em say my order instead of write it down on the order forms so that I actually had to practice Spanish. :) She was so excitable about it that she totally forgot to ask me to pay! ^_^ Sweet.
After my adventure, it was time to go to Nacho's for our class. Just as I turned on his street, so did he and he began shouting my name and ran over to me, happy as a clam. <3 Awww!!!
XOXO
I had a quick lunch at 100 Montaditos, where the lady at the register made em say my order instead of write it down on the order forms so that I actually had to practice Spanish. :) She was so excitable about it that she totally forgot to ask me to pay! ^_^ Sweet.
After my adventure, it was time to go to Nacho's for our class. Just as I turned on his street, so did he and he began shouting my name and ran over to me, happy as a clam. <3 Awww!!!
XOXO
Day 282: Poptarts & Convo Exchange
The day started out perfectly... aka... with my Bachis and all of the American sweets John had brought me! ^_^ I gave eveybody poptarts and gobstoppers peanut butter cups and (oddly most popular) warheads. They totally loved it and it was cute to see them all so happy! ^_^
...
And then I had the rude realization that my writing abilities have taken a nosedive since I became an English teacher. I've become so aware of my students' linguistic limitations that not only do subconsciously dumb down my speaking and writing in the classroom, but I've apparently been doing so out of the classroom for quite some time. It's gotten to the point that I use the most simple sentence structures possible, along with the most limited vocabulary I can and still get my meaning across - and I have NO CLUE that I am doing it.
Of course, it would be unfair to blame this solely on teaching, so I'm going to go ahead and blame it just a bit on Portland, too. I remember the day I returned to America and talked to J on the phone for the first time in months and how disturbed I was with the way she spoke. Her diction was nothing but colloquialisms and cuss words. But, just as I had sworn I wouldn't get a Midwestern accent after moving to Wisconsin for college and ended up with an accent that still comes out, despite leaving that area two years ago... By the end of my year in Portland, my speech was anything but eloquent. While it's certainly not as bad as it was while I was living there, it's not terribly refined and erudite, either.
...
After my lesson with Patty I headed over to the conversation exchange for the second week in a row! As soon as I got there I started talking with three kinda crazy Spanish girls, and then a little later found Erin, who found two really cool Spanish people to chat with! It was by far the most spontaneously social I've been in a minute, and I had so much fun! The two Spanish ladies said they'd keep in contact! ^_^ Awesome.
After the exchange, I walked with A and Erin through the city, listening in to their conversation. I felt a little thirdwheely, but I was enjoying myself at the same time. Hearing a guy be so obsessed with a girl is a weird thing to listen to. Usually, it seems to me, it's the other way around. But not with this guy. Even more strange is the fact that he seems so different from the average person... Like he should be above that sort of thing. But he explained he wanted an independent girl who wouldn't just roll over and give him what he wanted, but that he would have to work for
:-/
It sounded like very adolescent to me... And I was reminded of that quote: "You accept the love you think you deserve." Why somebody like him wouldn't have enough self confidence to accept nothing short of an adoring significant other was beyond me. But then again... It's been a moment since I had one, myself, I suppose? Still, it was very revealing to see a GUY in that position and see just how ridiculous it looks.
Note to self: stop valuing people who see you as anything less than extraordinary (if I followed this, the only people I'd ever value would be my students and a handful of friends and family... But maybe that's more than enough?)!
Having a reflection of myself in relationships standing right in front of me in that glowing light of the street ads at 1 in the morning at Plaza Cibeles certainly was a bit jarring. I don't want to be like that anymore. What a waste... :-/
Everything was made a little better, though, when he blew me a kiss goodnight as I walked down the steps to the metro. A girl can pretend life is just as it should be for a few minutes at a time. ;)
XOXO
...
And then I had the rude realization that my writing abilities have taken a nosedive since I became an English teacher. I've become so aware of my students' linguistic limitations that not only do subconsciously dumb down my speaking and writing in the classroom, but I've apparently been doing so out of the classroom for quite some time. It's gotten to the point that I use the most simple sentence structures possible, along with the most limited vocabulary I can and still get my meaning across - and I have NO CLUE that I am doing it.
Of course, it would be unfair to blame this solely on teaching, so I'm going to go ahead and blame it just a bit on Portland, too. I remember the day I returned to America and talked to J on the phone for the first time in months and how disturbed I was with the way she spoke. Her diction was nothing but colloquialisms and cuss words. But, just as I had sworn I wouldn't get a Midwestern accent after moving to Wisconsin for college and ended up with an accent that still comes out, despite leaving that area two years ago... By the end of my year in Portland, my speech was anything but eloquent. While it's certainly not as bad as it was while I was living there, it's not terribly refined and erudite, either.
...
After my lesson with Patty I headed over to the conversation exchange for the second week in a row! As soon as I got there I started talking with three kinda crazy Spanish girls, and then a little later found Erin, who found two really cool Spanish people to chat with! It was by far the most spontaneously social I've been in a minute, and I had so much fun! The two Spanish ladies said they'd keep in contact! ^_^ Awesome.
After the exchange, I walked with A and Erin through the city, listening in to their conversation. I felt a little thirdwheely, but I was enjoying myself at the same time. Hearing a guy be so obsessed with a girl is a weird thing to listen to. Usually, it seems to me, it's the other way around. But not with this guy. Even more strange is the fact that he seems so different from the average person... Like he should be above that sort of thing. But he explained he wanted an independent girl who wouldn't just roll over and give him what he wanted, but that he would have to work for
:-/
It sounded like very adolescent to me... And I was reminded of that quote: "You accept the love you think you deserve." Why somebody like him wouldn't have enough self confidence to accept nothing short of an adoring significant other was beyond me. But then again... It's been a moment since I had one, myself, I suppose? Still, it was very revealing to see a GUY in that position and see just how ridiculous it looks.
Note to self: stop valuing people who see you as anything less than extraordinary (if I followed this, the only people I'd ever value would be my students and a handful of friends and family... But maybe that's more than enough?)!
Having a reflection of myself in relationships standing right in front of me in that glowing light of the street ads at 1 in the morning at Plaza Cibeles certainly was a bit jarring. I don't want to be like that anymore. What a waste... :-/
Everything was made a little better, though, when he blew me a kiss goodnight as I walked down the steps to the metro. A girl can pretend life is just as it should be for a few minutes at a time. ;)
XOXO
Day 281: ^_^
I will never ever underestimate the power of a late night Skype & Wine date with my best friend again! All day long I felt so happy and reassured. :)
Day 280: Bachi Classtime Stolen (ugh!!!!) & Woody (yay!!!!)
I woke up fifteen minutes earlier than I normally would because I had two things I needed to look a little better than usual for today: my penultimate class with my beloved Bachis and a cupcake cooking fest with my newest friend. After a seriously depressing weekend, I was hoping that the combo of these two things would bring me back to my sanguine self.
I put on my new, cutest outfit, sprayed some volumizer in my hair and put a little eyeliner on. I still was feeling pretty low, but I was ready and willing to finally get out of my slump.
So when I'd barely made it through the door and saw tears filling Ms. Pineapple's eyes, I knew my grand plan wasn't off to a good start. When I asked her what was wrong, she stammered that they had an exam and my class was canceled.
Holy shit it was a good thing the exam was for my favorite high school teacher at that school - because had it been one of the teachers I despise... I swear I would have lost it. I tried to look nonchalant when I turned around and left the classroom, but I was spitting out every cuss word I could think of as I walked up the stairs and back to the teachers' office. Stealing the penultimate hour I had with my Bachis?! How fucking DARE these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't they know how my Bachis are the single thing that makes my Mondays worth waking up for?!!??!??!??!?!?!?! UGH!
When I got to Laura's class second period and she asked how I was in the hall before class, I let it all out. Every "fuck this shit" I had pent up all weekend long came gushing out of me as she gently nodded her head (slightly bemused at my string of cuss words being unleashed just outside the 2nd grade classroom). After my crazy verbal tirade, I felt a little better knowing another adult in that building understood me and was there to listen and sincerely agree. <3 You always need that one person at your job that you can just be real with, and I'm so glad I have her!
The rest of the day was equally as shitty, really. I felt hopeless and depressed and, more that than, pissed. I hate when I feel like others have control over my life. Hate hate hate it. After all, that's the reason I first went to my Life Coach, and have studied so hard to learn how to always be in charge of my own destiny. But sometimes, you just have to stop being so logical and in control... Sometimes, sometimes a girl just really needs to take a few days to just roll around in the bullshit that is feeling stressed and hopeless and taken advantage of and out of control and, well, screwed. There is something oddly freeing about giving yourself a few days to just react like a normal person.
It's like watching TV in Spain - you know you CAN understand all the shows in Spanish if you tried just a little, but sometimes you just want the show to be in English darnit. Your brain just wants some time off. Eff it. But the thing is, the longer you watch TV in English, the harder it becomes to switch it back to Spanish, even though days ago it was so effortless you didn't even realize you were doing it.
I knew I needed something reasonably big to get me out of this funk, but it wasn't until Woody asked if I would like to have a Skype & Wine date that I figured out what that something might be!
We talked and talked for hours, giggling and drinking wine the whole time. It was so so so so so amazing to really talk to my best friend for the first time in months. He just understands me like nobody else could. He's been there through all of my high school shit. All of my college shit. All of my relationship shit. Everything. And he still thinks the world of me. <3 I'm still his Lil Chubby Doll. <3 He, more than anybody else, can make me go from self hatred, anxiety and depression to giggling and joking around and adoring myself in mere minutes. That is some potent and incredible superpower, and I am so so so grateful that after eight whole years, we are still each others bestest friend. <3
Funk overcome! FTW!
XOXO
I put on my new, cutest outfit, sprayed some volumizer in my hair and put a little eyeliner on. I still was feeling pretty low, but I was ready and willing to finally get out of my slump.
So when I'd barely made it through the door and saw tears filling Ms. Pineapple's eyes, I knew my grand plan wasn't off to a good start. When I asked her what was wrong, she stammered that they had an exam and my class was canceled.
Holy shit it was a good thing the exam was for my favorite high school teacher at that school - because had it been one of the teachers I despise... I swear I would have lost it. I tried to look nonchalant when I turned around and left the classroom, but I was spitting out every cuss word I could think of as I walked up the stairs and back to the teachers' office. Stealing the penultimate hour I had with my Bachis?! How fucking DARE these people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't they know how my Bachis are the single thing that makes my Mondays worth waking up for?!!??!??!??!?!?!?! UGH!
When I got to Laura's class second period and she asked how I was in the hall before class, I let it all out. Every "fuck this shit" I had pent up all weekend long came gushing out of me as she gently nodded her head (slightly bemused at my string of cuss words being unleashed just outside the 2nd grade classroom). After my crazy verbal tirade, I felt a little better knowing another adult in that building understood me and was there to listen and sincerely agree. <3 You always need that one person at your job that you can just be real with, and I'm so glad I have her!
The rest of the day was equally as shitty, really. I felt hopeless and depressed and, more that than, pissed. I hate when I feel like others have control over my life. Hate hate hate it. After all, that's the reason I first went to my Life Coach, and have studied so hard to learn how to always be in charge of my own destiny. But sometimes, you just have to stop being so logical and in control... Sometimes, sometimes a girl just really needs to take a few days to just roll around in the bullshit that is feeling stressed and hopeless and taken advantage of and out of control and, well, screwed. There is something oddly freeing about giving yourself a few days to just react like a normal person.
It's like watching TV in Spain - you know you CAN understand all the shows in Spanish if you tried just a little, but sometimes you just want the show to be in English darnit. Your brain just wants some time off. Eff it. But the thing is, the longer you watch TV in English, the harder it becomes to switch it back to Spanish, even though days ago it was so effortless you didn't even realize you were doing it.
I knew I needed something reasonably big to get me out of this funk, but it wasn't until Woody asked if I would like to have a Skype & Wine date that I figured out what that something might be!
We talked and talked for hours, giggling and drinking wine the whole time. It was so so so so so amazing to really talk to my best friend for the first time in months. He just understands me like nobody else could. He's been there through all of my high school shit. All of my college shit. All of my relationship shit. Everything. And he still thinks the world of me. <3 I'm still his Lil Chubby Doll. <3 He, more than anybody else, can make me go from self hatred, anxiety and depression to giggling and joking around and adoring myself in mere minutes. That is some potent and incredible superpower, and I am so so so grateful that after eight whole years, we are still each others bestest friend. <3
Funk overcome! FTW!
XOXO
Day 279: Broth of Depression
Sometimes, you just need a day where you feel like everything has totally fallen apart. Sometimes, feeling lost and hopeless is exactly what you need. A little time off from the optimism and the bliss to sink into a dark place of fear, anxiety and anger. It may not look rational to outsiders, but those angsty teenagesque days can sometimes be exactly what a girl needs.
Today was one of those "sometimes."
The broth of depression bubbled listlessly yet interminably. I stewed in it all day long. It smelled of resignation and resentfulness.
"If I were really a good teacher, they'd be begging me to stay. Begging. If I really were a good teacher, I wouldn't be worried about not having a job this summer. If I were really a good teacher I wouldn't feel so expendable and taken advantage of... But eff that! I am a good teacher! My kids love me and they learn a ton! I am a good teacher! The people in charge just have no idea. And how would they? They've never watched my classes. They never ask students' opinions. They don't give a flying F about the students. All they care about is their self pride and the money. How the hell did people like this get put in charge of something so delicate and important as children's education, well being and futures?!?!?! Is this what the real world is always going to be like? Idiots getting final say in my future and the future of these little children I adore?! Is this it?? Will my whole life hang on the uninformed decisions of dolts with self esteem issues?! Eff that. But what if it's not just that they're stupid. What if there is really something WRONG with me? With who I am? I know my kids love me, but most of the teachers stare at me funny and my roomies have altogether just stopped realizing I exist. I love my kids because they understand me, but what if people over 17 never will? What if I never find an apartment because I'm too strange and what if I get a shit job because I'm too strange and what if I never have good friends because nobody gets me? Maybe this whole traveling thing is a mistake. Maybe this whole teaching thing won't work out for me. Maybe learning languages has been a waste of time. But if I don't have travel, or teaching, or languages... Shit, what do I have?! Nothing. I have no plan b. I have no adoring friends in one city to run home to. I have no real, solid home base. J has been my version of a home base for 5 years, and I don't even have that to run back to anymore. I am SOL in a foreign country with no friends, no apartment, no job for four months, little money and passions that seem to currently be screwing me over. Effing awesome. How could I feel so great about myself just days ago, and now feel like the biggest, most insignificant and unwanted mess ever??? No wonder nobody wants to employ me or hang out with me or give me an apartment!!!!"
No matter how much the little voice in me told me I was just being a drama queen, that drama queen would not relinquish the stage and she PWNED it. See, nobody really listens to that little teenage drama queen inside of me anymore. A healthy combination of independence, adventure, love, tenacity and life coach studies makes the drama queen just look like a tiny kitten who is trying to let out a big lion RAWR of drama, but instead comes across as a sweet little scared creature who just needs a little love and understanding. But I cannot explain how liberating it felt to give that angsty drama queen a stage for the day. Something about brewing in the depression made me feel more alive and more authentic. I felt like I was acknowledging a part of myself I usually try to tuck away, and that felt so good, in a counterintuitive way.
XOXO
Today was one of those "sometimes."
The broth of depression bubbled listlessly yet interminably. I stewed in it all day long. It smelled of resignation and resentfulness.
"If I were really a good teacher, they'd be begging me to stay. Begging. If I really were a good teacher, I wouldn't be worried about not having a job this summer. If I were really a good teacher I wouldn't feel so expendable and taken advantage of... But eff that! I am a good teacher! My kids love me and they learn a ton! I am a good teacher! The people in charge just have no idea. And how would they? They've never watched my classes. They never ask students' opinions. They don't give a flying F about the students. All they care about is their self pride and the money. How the hell did people like this get put in charge of something so delicate and important as children's education, well being and futures?!?!?! Is this what the real world is always going to be like? Idiots getting final say in my future and the future of these little children I adore?! Is this it?? Will my whole life hang on the uninformed decisions of dolts with self esteem issues?! Eff that. But what if it's not just that they're stupid. What if there is really something WRONG with me? With who I am? I know my kids love me, but most of the teachers stare at me funny and my roomies have altogether just stopped realizing I exist. I love my kids because they understand me, but what if people over 17 never will? What if I never find an apartment because I'm too strange and what if I get a shit job because I'm too strange and what if I never have good friends because nobody gets me? Maybe this whole traveling thing is a mistake. Maybe this whole teaching thing won't work out for me. Maybe learning languages has been a waste of time. But if I don't have travel, or teaching, or languages... Shit, what do I have?! Nothing. I have no plan b. I have no adoring friends in one city to run home to. I have no real, solid home base. J has been my version of a home base for 5 years, and I don't even have that to run back to anymore. I am SOL in a foreign country with no friends, no apartment, no job for four months, little money and passions that seem to currently be screwing me over. Effing awesome. How could I feel so great about myself just days ago, and now feel like the biggest, most insignificant and unwanted mess ever??? No wonder nobody wants to employ me or hang out with me or give me an apartment!!!!"
No matter how much the little voice in me told me I was just being a drama queen, that drama queen would not relinquish the stage and she PWNED it. See, nobody really listens to that little teenage drama queen inside of me anymore. A healthy combination of independence, adventure, love, tenacity and life coach studies makes the drama queen just look like a tiny kitten who is trying to let out a big lion RAWR of drama, but instead comes across as a sweet little scared creature who just needs a little love and understanding. But I cannot explain how liberating it felt to give that angsty drama queen a stage for the day. Something about brewing in the depression made me feel more alive and more authentic. I felt like I was acknowledging a part of myself I usually try to tuck away, and that felt so good, in a counterintuitive way.
XOXO
Day 278: Sushi Party
I mostly stayed in bed all day watching movies and being a lazy until it was time to get ready and go. I was out the door early enough to have an hour to window shop in Madrid (and get a really adorable floral summer scarf!) before heading to my sushi party with Patty and her family!! ^_^ Patty told me she'd teach me how to make sushi and have a dinner party in celebration of finishing my thesis, and tonight was the night!
I got to meet her neice and nephew, who were really adorable and spoke to me in English (aww), as well as her sister, who happens to be an English teacher and said she'd spread my résumé around to the schools she knew of for their summer camps (yay!). We spend the night drinking wine, talking in English and learning to make sushi! When we'd prepared everything, we sat down to dinner with Patty's parents. As it turned out, the sushi was actually really yummy! Second time I'd had sushi since arriving in Spain, and it was actually way better than the expensive place I went to last fall here. It made me miss Sakura and their sushi train in Portland, as well as Sodona's in Colorado... Oh... Sushi. <3
For dessert I made chocolate melting cakes, and Patty's dad even went to the corner store for some vanilla ice cream for them! Everybody LOVED them, and the kids kept telling their mom to get the recipe from me. Haha! Cute. I have to admit, of all of the times I've made them, these definitely turned out the best - they tasted exactly like my dad's... Yummy!
The night was really fun and it was cool to feel so welcome as an honorary member of their family for the night! <3
XOXO
I got to meet her neice and nephew, who were really adorable and spoke to me in English (aww), as well as her sister, who happens to be an English teacher and said she'd spread my résumé around to the schools she knew of for their summer camps (yay!). We spend the night drinking wine, talking in English and learning to make sushi! When we'd prepared everything, we sat down to dinner with Patty's parents. As it turned out, the sushi was actually really yummy! Second time I'd had sushi since arriving in Spain, and it was actually way better than the expensive place I went to last fall here. It made me miss Sakura and their sushi train in Portland, as well as Sodona's in Colorado... Oh... Sushi. <3
For dessert I made chocolate melting cakes, and Patty's dad even went to the corner store for some vanilla ice cream for them! Everybody LOVED them, and the kids kept telling their mom to get the recipe from me. Haha! Cute. I have to admit, of all of the times I've made them, these definitely turned out the best - they tasted exactly like my dad's... Yummy!
The night was really fun and it was cool to feel so welcome as an honorary member of their family for the night! <3
XOXO
Day 277: Field Day
Today at school was the Spanish equivalent to field day. All day students competed in mini events (soccer, hockey, basketball, relay races, swimming, etc.) against the other class in their grade. I was captain of one of the second grade teams, while Laura was captain of the other second grade team. It was really fun to do something divergent from the average school day, and getting to giggle and chat with Laura the whole time made it even better.
As ashamed as I am to say this, the silliest part of it all was probably how in each event, three kids always ended up in tears! Laura and I would bet on which kids would start to cry before each competition began and then cheer our teams on accordingly! And every single time, like clockwork, exactly three kids would burst out in tears during each event. One was injured, one scored a point for the other team, one ran too slow, one lost... It just went on and on. >_< Maybe we should have had a little more sympathy, but the more kids that started crying for taking things far too seriously, the more we couldn't contain our giggles! Oops... Bad teachers.
I left a little early from it all, as Fridays are half days for me, and went home and decided I would have a lazy afternoon and night. :) Sometimes, you just need to do nothing!
XOXO
As ashamed as I am to say this, the silliest part of it all was probably how in each event, three kids always ended up in tears! Laura and I would bet on which kids would start to cry before each competition began and then cheer our teams on accordingly! And every single time, like clockwork, exactly three kids would burst out in tears during each event. One was injured, one scored a point for the other team, one ran too slow, one lost... It just went on and on. >_< Maybe we should have had a little more sympathy, but the more kids that started crying for taking things far too seriously, the more we couldn't contain our giggles! Oops... Bad teachers.
I left a little early from it all, as Fridays are half days for me, and went home and decided I would have a lazy afternoon and night. :) Sometimes, you just need to do nothing!
XOXO
Day 276: John in Madrid
One's friend only comes to visit once every so often, and when that friend can only visit for 48 hours, it is important to spend as much time with them as possible - especially when they flew across an ocean just to see you! And it was for this reason that I decided to cancel my private classes and leave school around noon to hang out with John!
As soon as I got home I saw that the restaurant under my apartment had a BOGO deal on lunch, which meant a two course meal with beer for €5 per person. Hell. Yeah! After a lunch of "cocido" (think chicken noodle soup with garbanzo beans... Odd, I know) and some sort of paella made with macaroni instead of rice, we were off to the city to explore. It was really fun being the one to show John around for a change, because usually he is the one who is always taking me on crazy adventures! We didn't do anything to spectacular, but it was just fun having him in my city with me. :)
XOXO
As soon as I got home I saw that the restaurant under my apartment had a BOGO deal on lunch, which meant a two course meal with beer for €5 per person. Hell. Yeah! After a lunch of "cocido" (think chicken noodle soup with garbanzo beans... Odd, I know) and some sort of paella made with macaroni instead of rice, we were off to the city to explore. It was really fun being the one to show John around for a change, because usually he is the one who is always taking me on crazy adventures! We didn't do anything to spectacular, but it was just fun having him in my city with me. :)
XOXO
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Day 275: John!
When I came home, John was sitting on my couch, waiting for me!!! ^_^ Airplanes are just so magical, my goodness! He´d arrived at my apartment at 11:30 in the morning and had been sitting there, doing work and waiting for me. I took two seconds to drop some of my stuff and we were out the door and on the train into the city!
We only had two hours before my lesson with Patty, but in those two hours I managed to take him to Mercado San Miguel for a vermouth and olives, around Plaza Mayor and Sol, up Gran Via and to 100 Montadidos for a snack (which accidentally turned into our breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day!). The whole time we spent chatting away and giggling, catching up on each others´ lives. It´s always cool to have those friends who you haven´t seen in a year (or two?? to be honest, I can´t actually even REMEMBER the last time I saw him?!?)... and, yet, it feels like you were just hanging out the other day! ^_^
He told me about his flying adventures and I told him about my teaching adventures. We shared notes on our recent travel adventures and giggled about memories from high school. Having a friend who´s known me so well walking the streets of the newest city I call home was surreal! :)
John came along to Patty´s class and sat there listening to us chit-chat and occassionally spoke up when we asked him a question or two. :) It was really cute to have him there - he´s one of those people you just know he´s not that into it, but he really wouldn´t want to be anywhere else in that moment. Haha!
After class neither of us were tired (jetlag for him, excitement for me), and so I headed to a bar my tightrope friend had told me to go to for a language exchange. I wasn´t sure it would still be going on, but when we got there it was packed! As I walked up to the place, I saw him standing in the door and notice me. He didn´t interrupt the conversation he was having abruptly by any means, but instead somehow smoothly went from talking to some guy to suddenly being right in front of me when I got to the counter.
Whoa.
Unsurprisingly, the night was lovely. At one point somebody asked John and me how long we´d known each other, and we were shocked to realize it´d been nine whole years! I told her how freaked I was when I met him, because he was a big, quiet guy with camo on... to which he immediately exclaimed that he was equally as freightened as I was, because he had no idea what to say to the cute new girl and didn´t want to mess things up the first day - hahaha!!! :) Cute!
XOXO
We only had two hours before my lesson with Patty, but in those two hours I managed to take him to Mercado San Miguel for a vermouth and olives, around Plaza Mayor and Sol, up Gran Via and to 100 Montadidos for a snack (which accidentally turned into our breakfast, lunch and dinner for the day!). The whole time we spent chatting away and giggling, catching up on each others´ lives. It´s always cool to have those friends who you haven´t seen in a year (or two?? to be honest, I can´t actually even REMEMBER the last time I saw him?!?)... and, yet, it feels like you were just hanging out the other day! ^_^
He told me about his flying adventures and I told him about my teaching adventures. We shared notes on our recent travel adventures and giggled about memories from high school. Having a friend who´s known me so well walking the streets of the newest city I call home was surreal! :)
John came along to Patty´s class and sat there listening to us chit-chat and occassionally spoke up when we asked him a question or two. :) It was really cute to have him there - he´s one of those people you just know he´s not that into it, but he really wouldn´t want to be anywhere else in that moment. Haha!
After class neither of us were tired (jetlag for him, excitement for me), and so I headed to a bar my tightrope friend had told me to go to for a language exchange. I wasn´t sure it would still be going on, but when we got there it was packed! As I walked up to the place, I saw him standing in the door and notice me. He didn´t interrupt the conversation he was having abruptly by any means, but instead somehow smoothly went from talking to some guy to suddenly being right in front of me when I got to the counter.
Whoa.
Unsurprisingly, the night was lovely. At one point somebody asked John and me how long we´d known each other, and we were shocked to realize it´d been nine whole years! I told her how freaked I was when I met him, because he was a big, quiet guy with camo on... to which he immediately exclaimed that he was equally as freightened as I was, because he had no idea what to say to the cute new girl and didn´t want to mess things up the first day - hahaha!!! :) Cute!
XOXO
Day 274: 1st Grade Games, Ham & Master Chef!
Today I accidentally came up with a great activity for the 1st graders; rather than making them do another pointless coloring sheet, I decided to branch out. While I was looking for games online, I found "Memory." And that's what sparked the epiphany. The primary teachers had begun to introduce the concept of past tense verbs the week before, but students hadn't had much of a chance to do anything with it. And so, I decided they would write the eight most used verbs in present tense and past simple on little pieces of paper... And then they would play "Memory" with them. Um, brilliant. I wasn't sure how it would go over with the 6 year olds, but I was hopeful.
What I didn't expect was the incredible success it turned out to be! The kids got really into creating their verb cards - writing the words, checking their own spelling, cutting - and couldn't wait to play the game! I kept points of the board of how many times each student successfully completed the game, and this really sent them into a tither! Most commonly used verbs in past simple? Yeah, memorized. Booyah!!!!!!! And no, the kids had NO idea they were learning ANYTHING. To me, THAT is the true marker of success. ;) They had so much fun they begged to take it home to play, and in Laura's 1st grade class, she even assigned playing the game with their parents as their homework!
Hell. Yeah. #Iamabamf
Anyway, after school it was Nacho time. His mom was on a field trip, so it was just him and his dad (whocouldbeJuanes'identicaltwinholycrap)! His dad brought the most delicious and freshly cut Spanish ham with those baby breadsticks for Nacho's snack... And when Nacho decided he was full, his dad let me eat the rest. OM NOM NOM NOM.
I tell ya, Spanish ham is really something you gotta get accustomed to... But when you do, and when I find some really quality ham? Best. Meat. Ever. It's so flavorful and succulent and rich and oily and perfect. Damn.
After Nacho's class I was prepared to leave, but the dad told me to stay and just give him a private lesson even though the mom wasn't there. And so I got paid to just hang out and talk to about whatever.
Sometimes, my job is surreal. You simply hang out and shoot the shit with cool people... and get money when you leave. o_O Sometimes I really question if these people should even be paying me, but then I realize, the ability I have to make "classes" seem so chill and fun is precisely what makes me a great conversation teacher. And that's when I decide this is kind of the definition of a dream job: having such a great time doing it that even if you weren't to ever get paid for it again, you'd still love it and do it just as much. ^_^ Sure, there are shitty days, but on the whole I feel so lucky! <3
Patty had to cancel class, so I spent the night watching Master Chef in Spanish with Marianna. :) Hahaha. The thing with watching a movie or TV in Spanish is that you need a five or ten minute language shift period. Once you have gotten through those first few minutes of straining your brain and mass confusion and frustration, a small breakthrough happens and after you watch the movie or program, you can't even remember if it was in English or Spanish... And boy is THAT feeling weird!!!!! It's not that I understand every single thing they say, but it's I've gotten really good at gathering the general idea at all times and if I just can't understand something, my mind just moves past it without a care. It's like a linguistic superpower which takes months and months of semi-immersion to cultivate and hone.
And that was my day. :) Not bad for a Tuesday!
XOXO
What I didn't expect was the incredible success it turned out to be! The kids got really into creating their verb cards - writing the words, checking their own spelling, cutting - and couldn't wait to play the game! I kept points of the board of how many times each student successfully completed the game, and this really sent them into a tither! Most commonly used verbs in past simple? Yeah, memorized. Booyah!!!!!!! And no, the kids had NO idea they were learning ANYTHING. To me, THAT is the true marker of success. ;) They had so much fun they begged to take it home to play, and in Laura's 1st grade class, she even assigned playing the game with their parents as their homework!
Hell. Yeah. #Iamabamf
Anyway, after school it was Nacho time. His mom was on a field trip, so it was just him and his dad (whocouldbeJuanes'identicaltwinholycrap)! His dad brought the most delicious and freshly cut Spanish ham with those baby breadsticks for Nacho's snack... And when Nacho decided he was full, his dad let me eat the rest. OM NOM NOM NOM.
I tell ya, Spanish ham is really something you gotta get accustomed to... But when you do, and when I find some really quality ham? Best. Meat. Ever. It's so flavorful and succulent and rich and oily and perfect. Damn.
After Nacho's class I was prepared to leave, but the dad told me to stay and just give him a private lesson even though the mom wasn't there. And so I got paid to just hang out and talk to about whatever.
Sometimes, my job is surreal. You simply hang out and shoot the shit with cool people... and get money when you leave. o_O Sometimes I really question if these people should even be paying me, but then I realize, the ability I have to make "classes" seem so chill and fun is precisely what makes me a great conversation teacher. And that's when I decide this is kind of the definition of a dream job: having such a great time doing it that even if you weren't to ever get paid for it again, you'd still love it and do it just as much. ^_^ Sure, there are shitty days, but on the whole I feel so lucky! <3
Patty had to cancel class, so I spent the night watching Master Chef in Spanish with Marianna. :) Hahaha. The thing with watching a movie or TV in Spanish is that you need a five or ten minute language shift period. Once you have gotten through those first few minutes of straining your brain and mass confusion and frustration, a small breakthrough happens and after you watch the movie or program, you can't even remember if it was in English or Spanish... And boy is THAT feeling weird!!!!! It's not that I understand every single thing they say, but it's I've gotten really good at gathering the general idea at all times and if I just can't understand something, my mind just moves past it without a care. It's like a linguistic superpower which takes months and months of semi-immersion to cultivate and hone.
And that was my day. :) Not bad for a Tuesday!
XOXO
Day 273: 7th Grade Successes
Today I tried something in my impossible 7th grade class. Today I called up students to bring their chair to the front of the room to be near me. I called them one at a time, and only called the people who were silent and I could tell were sincerely interested in learning. All year these poor kids had been screwed over by their immature and disrespectful peers and finally I decided to just give up on the others and pay attention to the good ones. I gave a really great thirty minute class on most common English mistakes for Spanish speakers and the kids asked questions and practiced.
My sole intention was to give a handful of kids some information that would truly change their everyday speaking and make them a step above the average English student from my year's worth of personal observations. I really didn't care about the other kids in the class. At all. They were free to yell and laugh and be their usual apathetic selves.
And so you can imagine my SHOCK when they all fell silent - and stayed that way. They were all listening INTENTLY at what I was telling the five or six kids at the front, even though I didn't even look up at them. It was the weirdest thing... You mean all I had to do this whole year was ignore them?!? What?!? By making an elite group in the class, suddenly everybody wanted to be in that elite group - and not because they were going to be punished in anyway, but simply because they personally had the desire.
O_o
I hope I will remember this next time I have an impossible class - but who knows if this was just a random fluke or not!? I don't want to have any more classes with these students than I need to, but I would be very interested to see if I can repeat the results I got from this little experiment today. ;)
XOXO
My sole intention was to give a handful of kids some information that would truly change their everyday speaking and make them a step above the average English student from my year's worth of personal observations. I really didn't care about the other kids in the class. At all. They were free to yell and laugh and be their usual apathetic selves.
And so you can imagine my SHOCK when they all fell silent - and stayed that way. They were all listening INTENTLY at what I was telling the five or six kids at the front, even though I didn't even look up at them. It was the weirdest thing... You mean all I had to do this whole year was ignore them?!? What?!? By making an elite group in the class, suddenly everybody wanted to be in that elite group - and not because they were going to be punished in anyway, but simply because they personally had the desire.
O_o
I hope I will remember this next time I have an impossible class - but who knows if this was just a random fluke or not!? I don't want to have any more classes with these students than I need to, but I would be very interested to see if I can repeat the results I got from this little experiment today. ;)
XOXO
Day 272: Sunny Sunday Stroll & My New Ring
By early afternoon I was strolling along some of the most chic streets of Madrid, not knowing how I´d found them, but being grateful I finally had. The sunshine warmed my short-short wearing legs and I may have strutted a bit with my big sunglasses on, blissful as can be to have a day to do whatever I pleased in one of my favorite cities with such perfect weather after such an amazing Saturday!!
I passed by adorable, classy cafes that I´d only dreamed existed in this city. I took pictures of gorgeous dresses and window displays of the hoity-toity shops. I snuck peeks at all of the impecabily dressed women only a few years older than me, with their stunning high heels and floral sundresses. I strutted down that street, pretending that I was one of them - minus the bank account and plus humble gratitute for the simple things in life. ;)
After an hour or two of this casual stroll, I ran into a neighborhood I´d been in my first day in Madrid two years ago and found a Tous shop open! I´d been not-so-secretly wanting a Tous ring since sometime in March, yet always found a way to resist. But today? Today, I told myself, was the day. I would celebrate the completion of my thesis and Master´s degree with a little, shiney present for myself. :) Because I love me. Sometimes possibly more than most people might find rational...
I walked in confidently (I never like being the only person in an exclusive type store - much less when I know I´ll have to speak in a foreign language) and took my time looking at all of the rings. When I found the one I´d been wanting, I let out a tiny squeal and quickly tried to regain my composure. I asked the lady to see it and as soon as I tried it on, I told her I´d take it! She wrapped it up in a cute little pink box with a bell and put it in an adorable pink bag. And just like that, I went from only having one tiny Tiffany & Co. ring on my hand to having two again! :)
When I make a relatively big purchase, I never do so just because. I always have a deeper reason behind it. And this time was no different. Back in 2011, the week before departing to Spain, I´d purchased my tiny Tiffany & Co. ring. I´d purchased it as a promise to myself to make every minute in Spain count and not to be scared and not to be sad about leaving J behind. I´d purchased it as a declaration of adaventure and self-love, even though I wasn´t feeling very adventurous nor self-confident in the slightest (as evidenced when I decided to pierce my lip the night before leaving for Spain!). For the first few weeks, I would look at my new little ring and try to imagine what my Spanish adventure would be like, and wonder if I would ever see J again and try not to totally lose it. I tried to repeat the words Eric had told me when we´d met up for drinks and I tried to believe in his wisdom when he smiled right before we parted ways and assured me it would be an amazing summer.
And, of course, it was. In fact, it was undoubtedly the BEST summer of my life.
So this new ring? This is the ring that proclaims that it´s okay to feel scared sometimes, but that everything will work out in mysterious ways and things will be even better than I could imagine. I purchased it almost exactly two years from the date I purchased my Tiffany ring and I feel like it retroactively answers the fears for which the first ring was purchased. It´s my way of going back to 22 year old Chelsea the week before her trip and whispering, ¨You are in for the biggest adventure of your life that will change EVERYTHING. It´s okay to be afraid, but know that you don´t need to be - not at all!¨
As it turned out, it was the perfect time to purchase this second ring, as Sunday was my last day of feeling this high of accomplishment and security for a little while. But all I have to do is look down at my hands and smile. I´ve been in the position of great fear of the unknown before - and what followed was breathtaking. I can be in this position again.
Bring it on.
XOXO
I passed by adorable, classy cafes that I´d only dreamed existed in this city. I took pictures of gorgeous dresses and window displays of the hoity-toity shops. I snuck peeks at all of the impecabily dressed women only a few years older than me, with their stunning high heels and floral sundresses. I strutted down that street, pretending that I was one of them - minus the bank account and plus humble gratitute for the simple things in life. ;)
After an hour or two of this casual stroll, I ran into a neighborhood I´d been in my first day in Madrid two years ago and found a Tous shop open! I´d been not-so-secretly wanting a Tous ring since sometime in March, yet always found a way to resist. But today? Today, I told myself, was the day. I would celebrate the completion of my thesis and Master´s degree with a little, shiney present for myself. :) Because I love me. Sometimes possibly more than most people might find rational...
I walked in confidently (I never like being the only person in an exclusive type store - much less when I know I´ll have to speak in a foreign language) and took my time looking at all of the rings. When I found the one I´d been wanting, I let out a tiny squeal and quickly tried to regain my composure. I asked the lady to see it and as soon as I tried it on, I told her I´d take it! She wrapped it up in a cute little pink box with a bell and put it in an adorable pink bag. And just like that, I went from only having one tiny Tiffany & Co. ring on my hand to having two again! :)
When I make a relatively big purchase, I never do so just because. I always have a deeper reason behind it. And this time was no different. Back in 2011, the week before departing to Spain, I´d purchased my tiny Tiffany & Co. ring. I´d purchased it as a promise to myself to make every minute in Spain count and not to be scared and not to be sad about leaving J behind. I´d purchased it as a declaration of adaventure and self-love, even though I wasn´t feeling very adventurous nor self-confident in the slightest (as evidenced when I decided to pierce my lip the night before leaving for Spain!). For the first few weeks, I would look at my new little ring and try to imagine what my Spanish adventure would be like, and wonder if I would ever see J again and try not to totally lose it. I tried to repeat the words Eric had told me when we´d met up for drinks and I tried to believe in his wisdom when he smiled right before we parted ways and assured me it would be an amazing summer.
And, of course, it was. In fact, it was undoubtedly the BEST summer of my life.
So this new ring? This is the ring that proclaims that it´s okay to feel scared sometimes, but that everything will work out in mysterious ways and things will be even better than I could imagine. I purchased it almost exactly two years from the date I purchased my Tiffany ring and I feel like it retroactively answers the fears for which the first ring was purchased. It´s my way of going back to 22 year old Chelsea the week before her trip and whispering, ¨You are in for the biggest adventure of your life that will change EVERYTHING. It´s okay to be afraid, but know that you don´t need to be - not at all!¨
As it turned out, it was the perfect time to purchase this second ring, as Sunday was my last day of feeling this high of accomplishment and security for a little while. But all I have to do is look down at my hands and smile. I´ve been in the position of great fear of the unknown before - and what followed was breathtaking. I can be in this position again.
Bring it on.
XOXO
Day 271: Wine, Picnic, Feijoada
This Saturday was the best Saturday. *punto pelota*
It began around 10:30 by Marianna´s voice waking me up as she sang, ¨I AM READY!!!¨ She was, of course, refering to the wine tasting that happens the first Saturday of every month at Casa de Campo. My roomies had gone a few times and always had a hoot, but I´d always managed to be busy. I´d told my friend about it the night before when we´d gone out for drinks, and she said she´d totally love to go... if we could wake up on time to get there before it closed at 3.
I rolled over and put a pillow over my head, groaning, as I listened to the three roomies getting their purses and shuffling out the door. I wanted to get up and go, too... but I wanted to stay in bed more. When ten minutes passed and I couldn´t fall back asleep, I reached for my iPad and looked at Facebook. There, in my notifications, was a picture from last night with a caption from my friend Mirium: ¨I am awake. Are you? Wine tasting?¨
And that was enough to pull me out of bed and into the shower. ^_^
A train ride and metro ride later, we met up around 1:15 and purchased our 2 euro wine glasses - which guaranteed us unlimited free wine tastings! WHAT A DEAL! ;) We tasted every wine that was there - TWICE. To be honest, they weren´t really that quality, but after the sixth or seventh tasting, you kinda forget to stop caring about that. ;) Besides wine, they also had cheese and honey vendors. As the event was wrapping up around 3pm, Mirium and I decided to buy a thing of really yummy sheep´s milk cheese, a jar of the best, most sweetest honey and a bottle of organic white wine. She explained she was to meet up with her friends later at a park across town and that we could do a little picnic! Adorable!
Usually, I´m kinda against meeting people. I always say I want new friends and want to go on adventures, but the idea of actually physically meeting new people makes me a little nauseous. I´m trying to get over it little by little, but the percentage of times that randomly meeting people has turned out to be a fantastic success from the start is dangerously low. Empirical data proves that I am one of those kinds of people that needs to warm up to others before I can be myself and likeable in the slightest. My mom claims this is my Virgo rising in my chart and that this is somehow a beneficial thing to myself as a whole, but I´ve yet to see the splendid benefits.
Anyway, I have to admit I wasn´t feeling my usual nerves, as I´d had just enough wine to feel like a generally plesant individual. Actually, I was kinda excited to spend the afternoon with unknown people! I figured any friend of Mirium had to be cool, because Mirium was one of the only cool people in my whole Master´s program, and the odds of cool people having cool friends is considerably high. ;) At least, that´s what my wine-o logic was telling me.
As we approached a guy waiting at their meeting spot, Mirium turned to me and under her breath whispered, ¨You´ll either hate him or you´ll love him,¨ before greeting him with a big smile and two kisses.
It was definitely one of those moments out of a movie, and instantly I could tell this was all about to be really fun. ;)
When the other two girls arrived, we all took a walk in the park, introducing ourselves and looking for a perfect place to... hang a SLACKLINE! WHAT?!? It was simultaneous the most hippie thing and most awesome thing I´d ever been informed I was about to do. I´d seen people one day outside of my dorm doing it, but past that, I didn´t really know it was a hobby. So when this guy produced one from his back, I was amused.
Five little Americans giggling, chatting and playing in a park while eating cheese, bread and honey and drinking wine. Perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon! After successfully crossing the slackline on my own and going back to the blanket to sit and watch some of them playing with a volleyball, I felt for the second time that I was in one of those really cheesy teenage movies. And I loved it. ;)
After the park we hit up a Portuguese pastry shop (I think?) and then went and had frozen yogurt - but it wasn´t all of the sweets that made the post-picnic so... enchanting. It was the non-stop banter and conversation. For every comment I made, he had an immediate, witty response. And for every comment he made, I occasionally actually had to think before responding. o_O When´s the last time THAT happened to me!? This guy had the witty sarcasm of a Brazilian, but the creative intelligence and depth to really back it up. Had I known people like that existed, I would have started actively looking for them years ago! >_<
It was truly one of those super rare encounters in one´s life where you meet somebody for the first time and realize they sort of... get you. It´s spectacular, yet unnerving. ;)
A little after nine I finally left my new friends and went out to dinner at a Brazilian restaurant to celebrate the completion of my thesis with a friend I hadn´t seen since my birthday. Feijoada, patatas palhas and guarana was a pretty awesome celebration dinner, too! ^_^
XOXO
It began around 10:30 by Marianna´s voice waking me up as she sang, ¨I AM READY!!!¨ She was, of course, refering to the wine tasting that happens the first Saturday of every month at Casa de Campo. My roomies had gone a few times and always had a hoot, but I´d always managed to be busy. I´d told my friend about it the night before when we´d gone out for drinks, and she said she´d totally love to go... if we could wake up on time to get there before it closed at 3.
I rolled over and put a pillow over my head, groaning, as I listened to the three roomies getting their purses and shuffling out the door. I wanted to get up and go, too... but I wanted to stay in bed more. When ten minutes passed and I couldn´t fall back asleep, I reached for my iPad and looked at Facebook. There, in my notifications, was a picture from last night with a caption from my friend Mirium: ¨I am awake. Are you? Wine tasting?¨
And that was enough to pull me out of bed and into the shower. ^_^
A train ride and metro ride later, we met up around 1:15 and purchased our 2 euro wine glasses - which guaranteed us unlimited free wine tastings! WHAT A DEAL! ;) We tasted every wine that was there - TWICE. To be honest, they weren´t really that quality, but after the sixth or seventh tasting, you kinda forget to stop caring about that. ;) Besides wine, they also had cheese and honey vendors. As the event was wrapping up around 3pm, Mirium and I decided to buy a thing of really yummy sheep´s milk cheese, a jar of the best, most sweetest honey and a bottle of organic white wine. She explained she was to meet up with her friends later at a park across town and that we could do a little picnic! Adorable!
Usually, I´m kinda against meeting people. I always say I want new friends and want to go on adventures, but the idea of actually physically meeting new people makes me a little nauseous. I´m trying to get over it little by little, but the percentage of times that randomly meeting people has turned out to be a fantastic success from the start is dangerously low. Empirical data proves that I am one of those kinds of people that needs to warm up to others before I can be myself and likeable in the slightest. My mom claims this is my Virgo rising in my chart and that this is somehow a beneficial thing to myself as a whole, but I´ve yet to see the splendid benefits.
Anyway, I have to admit I wasn´t feeling my usual nerves, as I´d had just enough wine to feel like a generally plesant individual. Actually, I was kinda excited to spend the afternoon with unknown people! I figured any friend of Mirium had to be cool, because Mirium was one of the only cool people in my whole Master´s program, and the odds of cool people having cool friends is considerably high. ;) At least, that´s what my wine-o logic was telling me.
As we approached a guy waiting at their meeting spot, Mirium turned to me and under her breath whispered, ¨You´ll either hate him or you´ll love him,¨ before greeting him with a big smile and two kisses.
It was definitely one of those moments out of a movie, and instantly I could tell this was all about to be really fun. ;)
When the other two girls arrived, we all took a walk in the park, introducing ourselves and looking for a perfect place to... hang a SLACKLINE! WHAT?!? It was simultaneous the most hippie thing and most awesome thing I´d ever been informed I was about to do. I´d seen people one day outside of my dorm doing it, but past that, I didn´t really know it was a hobby. So when this guy produced one from his back, I was amused.
Five little Americans giggling, chatting and playing in a park while eating cheese, bread and honey and drinking wine. Perfect way to spend a Saturday afternoon! After successfully crossing the slackline on my own and going back to the blanket to sit and watch some of them playing with a volleyball, I felt for the second time that I was in one of those really cheesy teenage movies. And I loved it. ;)
After the park we hit up a Portuguese pastry shop (I think?) and then went and had frozen yogurt - but it wasn´t all of the sweets that made the post-picnic so... enchanting. It was the non-stop banter and conversation. For every comment I made, he had an immediate, witty response. And for every comment he made, I occasionally actually had to think before responding. o_O When´s the last time THAT happened to me!? This guy had the witty sarcasm of a Brazilian, but the creative intelligence and depth to really back it up. Had I known people like that existed, I would have started actively looking for them years ago! >_<
It was truly one of those super rare encounters in one´s life where you meet somebody for the first time and realize they sort of... get you. It´s spectacular, yet unnerving. ;)
A little after nine I finally left my new friends and went out to dinner at a Brazilian restaurant to celebrate the completion of my thesis with a friend I hadn´t seen since my birthday. Feijoada, patatas palhas and guarana was a pretty awesome celebration dinner, too! ^_^
XOXO
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Down the Rabbit Hole
*i will insert my thesis here at some point... after I edit it for the final time... whenever that will be... haha!*
Day 270: Thesising Marathon & Celebration
After a grand total of 1.5 hours of sleep the night before, I was not quite as pumped for the second half of the thesising marathon as I´d hoped to be. My writing was still pretty quality in the morning, but by late afternoon, I was decidedly less... lucid... and my words were struggling to surface. THAT is the worst feeling for a writer, I think. When you know there is a word that would fit perfectly in a sentence, but you just. cannot. find. it. >_< Sometimes when this happens I think I can literally feel the synapses in my brain trying to fire, but coming up with blocked pathways each and every time... and the more I think, the more my brain literally starts to hurt.
By 7:30 I HAD to be done. I easily could have taken a whole other day to do my citations better and to reword two parts whose paragraphs ended up falling onto the page more like toddler splatter paint than an impressionist work of art, but I had to quickly reformat it onto Abby´s computer (mine doens´t have Word, it has the free version) and stick it on a USB drive before the print shop closed! I ran to the print shop to have it printed and bound (¨encuadernar¨ has to be one of the tickliest words to say in Spanish!), and was delighted when I saw how THICK it turned out to be! The page requirement was 50 pages ¨more or less.¨ Mine? Mine was 101 pages! BOOYAH!
You know me... once I get typing about something I´m really passionate about, I just can´t stop. *shrug*
I went back home to have my roomies take a cute ¨I AM DONE!!!¨ picture of me and my baby thesis, and then put the document on a CD (as requested by my advisor). By the time it was done, I realized I had 7 minutes to RUN to the university and submit it by the deadline.
Running on 1.5 hours of sleep is... a challenge. That´s all I have to say about that.
But I MADE IT! YAY!
As I left the building, one of my most favorite girls from my program was running up to submit hers, too (ha, I wasn´t the latest one!). We were ridiculously delighted to see each other after sever months. :) When our director asked what we were going to do this weekend, we both responded in unison: ¨SLEEP.¨ And then my friend laughed and said, ¨Well, drink, too...¨ Haha. This propted her to ask me if I wanted to go out for a drink to celebrate! I said sure, despite being deliriously sleepy.
Five hours, two tintos de verano and three shots of Jack later... I was in all smiles. Depite being so tired, I had a great night talking and giggling and having a burger and drinks with her! We made tenative plans to meet up the next day for a wine tasting, and parted ways to go catch up our sleep!
Awesome ending to a stressful, thesis filled day!
XOXO
By 7:30 I HAD to be done. I easily could have taken a whole other day to do my citations better and to reword two parts whose paragraphs ended up falling onto the page more like toddler splatter paint than an impressionist work of art, but I had to quickly reformat it onto Abby´s computer (mine doens´t have Word, it has the free version) and stick it on a USB drive before the print shop closed! I ran to the print shop to have it printed and bound (¨encuadernar¨ has to be one of the tickliest words to say in Spanish!), and was delighted when I saw how THICK it turned out to be! The page requirement was 50 pages ¨more or less.¨ Mine? Mine was 101 pages! BOOYAH!
You know me... once I get typing about something I´m really passionate about, I just can´t stop. *shrug*
I went back home to have my roomies take a cute ¨I AM DONE!!!¨ picture of me and my baby thesis, and then put the document on a CD (as requested by my advisor). By the time it was done, I realized I had 7 minutes to RUN to the university and submit it by the deadline.
Running on 1.5 hours of sleep is... a challenge. That´s all I have to say about that.
But I MADE IT! YAY!
As I left the building, one of my most favorite girls from my program was running up to submit hers, too (ha, I wasn´t the latest one!). We were ridiculously delighted to see each other after sever months. :) When our director asked what we were going to do this weekend, we both responded in unison: ¨SLEEP.¨ And then my friend laughed and said, ¨Well, drink, too...¨ Haha. This propted her to ask me if I wanted to go out for a drink to celebrate! I said sure, despite being deliriously sleepy.
Five hours, two tintos de verano and three shots of Jack later... I was in all smiles. Depite being so tired, I had a great night talking and giggling and having a burger and drinks with her! We made tenative plans to meet up the next day for a wine tasting, and parted ways to go catch up our sleep!
Awesome ending to a stressful, thesis filled day!
XOXO
Day 269: Afghanistan & Pizza Party Study Party
After my last private class of the day I went straight to Pizza Hut and purchased a medium sized pizza with pineapple, mushrooms and corn. That´s right. Corn. I think it´s a Brazilian thing (?), but I´ve gotten really into it, thanks to only really eating pizza around Brazilians. Ha! Then, I went to a corner store and bought an orange Fanta and a dark chocolate ice cream bar.
To study - to really study and thesis and get work done - one must always be surrounded by yummy food. That´s something I´ve learned in my 20 years of formal education. ;o)
But before I began what turned out to be an all-nighter thesising pizza party, I had a very important Skype call to take. I walked in the door at 8:27. The Skype tone was ringing at 8:30. Talk about timeing!
My Skype call was with the director of the volunteer program I had written a week ago, and was to tell me more about the program and see if I was still interested. And after hearing more about it, I couldn´t properly express to the lady just how interested I was!
Basically, the program places English speakers with girls from Afghanistan through Skype, to have two, one hour English classes per week! The girls are all in high school or university and have studied English on their own, but have not gotten to have formal instruction in the language, but are extremely motivated to learn all that they can. They connect to Skype through a community center, which they have to have signed permission from their fathers to go to, as Afghan women are not traditionally allowed out of their homes for any reason. In fact, it is so against their culture thta they literally risk their lives to go to this center, to study, and to learn English, as men have been known to injure and sometimes kill girls who try to assert some sort of independence.
The program director went over some cultural differences with me, telling me that talking about things like dating or going out for a drink were against their religion, and so such topic should really be avoided. She went on to caution me about other cultural differences, and explained that the girls could get in a lot of trouble with their families if they were asked to talk about or write about many of these things.
The whole conversation, concept and opportunity was so enthralling and exciting that I felt like I was on a call in regards to a super secret covert mission!
At the end of the call, the director said she was very happy to have me on board as one of the 25 (only 25!) volunteers and would be pairing me up with an Afghan girl in the coming weeks to begin! YAY!!! I am way excited to have found such a wonderful sounded volunteer job and hope that I am really able to make a difference in the life of the girl with whom I am paired!
XOXO
To study - to really study and thesis and get work done - one must always be surrounded by yummy food. That´s something I´ve learned in my 20 years of formal education. ;o)
But before I began what turned out to be an all-nighter thesising pizza party, I had a very important Skype call to take. I walked in the door at 8:27. The Skype tone was ringing at 8:30. Talk about timeing!
My Skype call was with the director of the volunteer program I had written a week ago, and was to tell me more about the program and see if I was still interested. And after hearing more about it, I couldn´t properly express to the lady just how interested I was!
Basically, the program places English speakers with girls from Afghanistan through Skype, to have two, one hour English classes per week! The girls are all in high school or university and have studied English on their own, but have not gotten to have formal instruction in the language, but are extremely motivated to learn all that they can. They connect to Skype through a community center, which they have to have signed permission from their fathers to go to, as Afghan women are not traditionally allowed out of their homes for any reason. In fact, it is so against their culture thta they literally risk their lives to go to this center, to study, and to learn English, as men have been known to injure and sometimes kill girls who try to assert some sort of independence.
The program director went over some cultural differences with me, telling me that talking about things like dating or going out for a drink were against their religion, and so such topic should really be avoided. She went on to caution me about other cultural differences, and explained that the girls could get in a lot of trouble with their families if they were asked to talk about or write about many of these things.
The whole conversation, concept and opportunity was so enthralling and exciting that I felt like I was on a call in regards to a super secret covert mission!
At the end of the call, the director said she was very happy to have me on board as one of the 25 (only 25!) volunteers and would be pairing me up with an Afghan girl in the coming weeks to begin! YAY!!! I am way excited to have found such a wonderful sounded volunteer job and hope that I am really able to make a difference in the life of the girl with whom I am paired!
XOXO
Day 268: SOOOOOO Late!!!
After school, picked up a document to renew a visa from the university and then met up with a classmate to give it to her, to save her a trip of going all the way to Alcala and back just for one paper. She bought me a Starbucks to thank me and we chatted for a little while, to give her a break from her thesising. :) It was cool to hang out with her for a bit, and made me realize that I´d had some pretty cool people in my program all year and didn´t even really realize it... o_O This always happens -- I always feel like I´m the lone wolf, and then just as things are wrapping up, suddenly I find lots of cool people that were there all along. I need to stop doing that... for real.
Anyway, after meeting up with her, a strolled around the neighborhood a bit before heading to my lesson with Patty. I had showed up really late yesterday to our lesson and felt really awful about it (even though it wasn´t totally my fault), but this time I was going to be way early! w00t! I was so relaxed and happy that I took the metro in the wrong direction when I finally started heading to her place, but giggled to myself, thinking, ¨I have so much time, it doesn´t even matter... whatever!¨ I looked down at my cell phone to see how early I would still be, despite this little mix-up, when it hit me...
Class on Tuesday is at 8:30. But today wasn´t Tuesday, it was Wednesday. Class on Wednesday is at 7:45. And right now? Right now it was 8:00.
>_<!!!!!!!!!!!!
REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
When I got to Patty´s I was panting from running so much. I felt like a complete idiot!!! She assured me it was totally fine, but I was soooooo embarassed!!! Ugh.
Happily, our class was really great... but holy crap.
XOXO
Anyway, after meeting up with her, a strolled around the neighborhood a bit before heading to my lesson with Patty. I had showed up really late yesterday to our lesson and felt really awful about it (even though it wasn´t totally my fault), but this time I was going to be way early! w00t! I was so relaxed and happy that I took the metro in the wrong direction when I finally started heading to her place, but giggled to myself, thinking, ¨I have so much time, it doesn´t even matter... whatever!¨ I looked down at my cell phone to see how early I would still be, despite this little mix-up, when it hit me...
Class on Tuesday is at 8:30. But today wasn´t Tuesday, it was Wednesday. Class on Wednesday is at 7:45. And right now? Right now it was 8:00.
>_<!!!!!!!!!!!!
REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
When I got to Patty´s I was panting from running so much. I felt like a complete idiot!!! She assured me it was totally fine, but I was soooooo embarassed!!! Ugh.
Happily, our class was really great... but holy crap.
XOXO
Day 267: Cupcakealicious
*Thanks to thesising, and then intense relaxation, I am currently a whole WEEK behind in my blog... and so I will write seven VERY pithy posts to catch up.*
The cutest part of the day was definitely my 5th graders first period. The week before I had given kids books out to groups of 3-5 and had them read it, then create a short play based on the book. To my surprise, the classes LOVED this assignment (I guess it shouldn´t have been too much of a surprise -- they´re not allowed a whole lot of creativity, as class usually just involved workbook and textbook crap). As usual, some students took it very seriously, and others took it as a time to be silly. But the group that took it the most seriously this go around was the group of girls who recently got in trouble for playing ¨gentleman´s club¨ at recess... so, needless to say, I was shocked when their play was the BEST out of all of the 5th and 6th graders!
They had the best book, ¨Cupcakealicious,¨ about a little girl who eats so many cupcakes that she turns bright pink! :) They enjoyed the book, but quickly had a problem: there were only really two characters in the story, and they had five girls in their group. After some thinking, they decided to make one girl the narrator, and the other two... CUPCAKES!!! Man, what brilliant little girls. After they created their script (without even writing it down --way impressive), they blocked out their whole play and created scenery out of desks and chairs in the corner of the classroom.
What resulted was the most adorable mini play ever. The two characters picked up the cupcake girls and ¨plcaed them in the oven,¨ and as the baked, they raised their arms like a ballerina... and later when they ate them, they lowered their arms like a ballerina. The play was totally polished and not one girl messed up or got nervous giggles or anything. At the end I wished I´d video recorded the whole thing!!!!!
I love when students totally surpass your expectations. It made me want to bring those girls real pink cupcakes the next day to congratulate them on a job well done. Haha. Sometimes it sucks that you can´t reward certain students for being way awesome... I mean, you can give them a good grade or a sticker... but some things just seem deserving of something more -- like a cupcake. ;)
XOXO
The cutest part of the day was definitely my 5th graders first period. The week before I had given kids books out to groups of 3-5 and had them read it, then create a short play based on the book. To my surprise, the classes LOVED this assignment (I guess it shouldn´t have been too much of a surprise -- they´re not allowed a whole lot of creativity, as class usually just involved workbook and textbook crap). As usual, some students took it very seriously, and others took it as a time to be silly. But the group that took it the most seriously this go around was the group of girls who recently got in trouble for playing ¨gentleman´s club¨ at recess... so, needless to say, I was shocked when their play was the BEST out of all of the 5th and 6th graders!
They had the best book, ¨Cupcakealicious,¨ about a little girl who eats so many cupcakes that she turns bright pink! :) They enjoyed the book, but quickly had a problem: there were only really two characters in the story, and they had five girls in their group. After some thinking, they decided to make one girl the narrator, and the other two... CUPCAKES!!! Man, what brilliant little girls. After they created their script (without even writing it down --way impressive), they blocked out their whole play and created scenery out of desks and chairs in the corner of the classroom.
What resulted was the most adorable mini play ever. The two characters picked up the cupcake girls and ¨plcaed them in the oven,¨ and as the baked, they raised their arms like a ballerina... and later when they ate them, they lowered their arms like a ballerina. The play was totally polished and not one girl messed up or got nervous giggles or anything. At the end I wished I´d video recorded the whole thing!!!!!
I love when students totally surpass your expectations. It made me want to bring those girls real pink cupcakes the next day to congratulate them on a job well done. Haha. Sometimes it sucks that you can´t reward certain students for being way awesome... I mean, you can give them a good grade or a sticker... but some things just seem deserving of something more -- like a cupcake. ;)
XOXO
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