Someday, someone will ask me how I am the way I am; how I have such an amazing life, with such an amazing career and such an amazing lover and such a long list of amazing adventures. They'll tell me how lucky I am. They'll say they'd do anything to have my life.
And then I'll refer them to these blogs I'm writing now, in 2012, at the relatively young age of 23. I'll gently tell them that everyone has a passion - something which, given the chance to study and practice and live, they just thrive on. This, this has been my passion for as long as I can remember.
Some study law, some study trees, some study technology, some study beer... I study the abstract concept of "life" and perspective. I study the power of thinking and I study how to best become the person I next wish to become and design a life I'm in love with. I study energy and metaphysic new-age philosophy. And, most importantly, I practice it. I practice the shit out of it.
When they tell me I'm lucky because it just comes so easily to me, I'll laugh. I'll think of nights like tonight where I sat in my room and just cried and cried, journaled and journaled. I'll think of all those countless emotional flash floods of insignificance that threatened to wipe out all the progress. I'll think of the cathartic music that got me from one end of the spectrum to the complete other end in a matter of hours.
I'm far from perfect at all of this yet, but I'm making progress. I don't know of another person my age who can go from "my world is ending" to "I can't wait for what's next" so seamlessly. I have a very comforting level of personal patience and curiosity, and this is what saves me on nights like these.
Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person in the universe who finds a good, cathartic release to be cleansing and welcome. So many people I know will do incredible things to avoid feeling the way they do. But for me, it's ulitimately very calming and brings me great personal peace within.
XOXO
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