There's something to be said for being too busy living to blog.
Jeeze louise.
This whole month I had it in my head that I would use my three day weekend at the end of January to catch up on my blog. Instead, I'm four days even more behind than I was at the beginning of the weekend!!! >_<
Not that I'm complaining... exactly... No way in hell I'd trade in these past two weekends for bonus blogging time!!! But since when has my blog felt like a burden rather than a comforting respite!?! Shit.
The funny thing is, though, that it is very clear to me that I haven't taken the time out of my life to write in the past few days. I'm tense, I'm stressed, I'm tightly wound, I'm freaking out... I'm pretty sure I can FEEL my blood pressure getting higher. I stopped to think when the last time I felt this anxious and stressed was, and honestly, I'm not sure. One day on my trip while I was in Amsterdam - but, again, I immediately realized it was directly related with the fact I hadn't been able to blog in five or six days.
Something about taking that hour (or more, or less) each day and just zoning out into my own world of story telling or reflection or what have you, jamming out to my own music, sipping some wine and letting my fingers go crazy on the keyboard does WONDERS for my well being and spirit. The moment I write something down, I magically gain perspective on it - whether it's something utterly amazing that's just happened or something that has been tying my tummy in knots all day long - suddenly, it's all just words on my screen and I can choose to take it or leave it.
I always knew I loved my blog and took great pride in it, but I didn't realize just how a part of me it had become - nor just how imperative to my centering of myself it truly was. Until about an hour ago.
And so I almost screamed to myself, "STOP! JUST STOP! THIS IS NOT YOU! THIS IS RIDICULOUS! EFF ALL OF THIS FOR AN HOUR, GRAB YOUR BOTTLE OF WINE AND OPEN YOUR BLOG UP. NOW!"
You know, for as often as I judge others for not being able to get their shit together, it's times like these that I realize just how tricky it can be to have one's shit truly together! Exactly how many layers do I even have to my crazy awesome Keeping My Shit Together action plan!? I have my blog, I have music, I have my book ("When Everything Changes, Change Everything"), I have the movie "The Secret," I have Pinterest, I have painting, I have dancing, I have writing in a foreign language, I have traveling, I have meditating, I have cupcakes, I have friends, I have Conor. But most other people, who haven't been tirelessly working on building this arsenal for almost a decade... how do they keep their head above water!? In all seriousness.
Of course, I know what set me off tonight.
Abby.
At the beginning of the month she had proposed to me "Big Girl Tuesdays" in which we would come home and work on getting a job after this June. I told her I thought it was brilliant and I, too, started to participate... up until I found out about the offer to stay in Madrid, hardly doing anything 16 hours/4 days per week, and still making considerably more than I'm making now waking up at 8am and getting home around 7pm every day. And then, I thought, why not? Sure, maybe I'd like to hit up a new country, but I'm not sure where I'd find a deal doing that little for that much in a place I already knew I loved! Plus, maybe if I stuck around I could actually get good at Spanish, instead of where I'm at now - which is hardly much better than when I arrived. It sounded like the perfect present to be handed at the end of this silly "Master's" program, and so I was down.
I talked to Abby about it and she seemed to seriously be considering it, herself. Over the past two weeks we'd both brought it up a few times, about how we could live near Malasana and get a cute apartment together and go out to cafes and get side jobs and have a splendid time living in downtown Madrid. About how we'd have more than enough money to travel sometimes and how we could go to the beach! It sounded dreamy and perfect.
Until last night when she told me about her conversation over Skype with her mom this past weekend. Her mom, she'd told me long ago, has always been of the opinion that Abby should come home as soon as she can to start her "real career." Having parents that support me in my "real career" of being a professional World Traveler and, on the side, Travel Writer (tee hee), I couldn't relate. How could anybody's parents see living abroad as impeding their child's "professional" life?! I mean, Abby is two years younger than me, too boot! How offensive! So yeah, I'd known about her mom's feelings - but after she told me about them again and expressed her subtle shock at her mom's bluntness, I started to worry. I have never been the sort to hear my parents' opinions and suddenly take them over my own, but so many people I know are nothing at all like me...
I tried not to think about it for the rest of the night and all day today, but when I came home, Abby's resume was up on her computer. When I asked what she was up to, she said posting her resume on a site back in Massachusetts that hires teachers.
I think that was more or less the last thing we really said to each other tonight. And considering it is almost 11pm, that's saying something. I'm sure she doesn't know I'm bothered by it - I have a long list of things I'm stressed about tonight - but this is definitely at the top of it.
How many times must I be forced to realize that it is a bad - awful, even - idea to try to tie my future destiny to anyone at all. It didn't work with Julia. It didn't work with L. It didn't work with B. It won't work with Abby. And it all makes me feel so clingy - liked there must truly be something wrong with me.
But you know what? EFF THAT. Almost every person I know runs back home as soon as they don't have a clear idea of what's coming home. They run back to their friends and family and they call it having "ties," but really it's because they're just as scared as I am to go it alone. So you know what, no - maybe I'm not like those people that want to run back to Colorado the second I don't know what's next, but I would like to have somebody - just one person - familiar and wonderful near me on my next step as an adult. And I'd like somebody to find me as familiar and wonderful to also want to blindly step into the future with. But gosh darnit, it's just not working.
Don't get me wrong - I can see what a blessing in disguise this clearly can be. In the current case, if I do decide to do the Madrid program next year and Abby isn't here, I'll find a native to move in with and I will drastically improve my Spanish and Spanish culture, thus making staying here an extra year truly beneficial and fantastic. Or, if she doesn't do the program, maybe it will give me a nudge to follow through with one of my other plans and move to Thailand or Japan or Brazil or the Caribbean - or wherever. Either way, it's far from the end of the world.
It's just that it feels so safe and comfortable and happy to think of not having to once again start ALL over. To have somebody on my team next to me, ready for whatever comes next. At first I thought this had to be a girlfriend or boyfriend - then I realized it could be a really good friend - but now I'm realizing I have to be enough on my own... and that just sounds so tedious. The type of adventurous and wonderful life I've signed up for definitely lists this as a prerequisite, I know - I was just hoping... maybe... you know... this time I could bypass it this go around? I know down the road it is more helpful to just burst on the scene and passionately GO FOR IT... but it's just the thought of having to do that that really weighs me down, even though I have empirical proof of how ridiculously awesome it always turns out when I suck it up and do it all by myself.
So I really shouldn't be upset. I shouldn't find it to be a extremely mild sort of betrayal. I shouldn't feel a little lost about it. I know everybody needs to do what's best for them and that no matter who is there or who isn't there, my life will always turn out to be an amazing adventure filled with wonderful people because that's just how I design it and live it to the best of my abilities... but for tonight, I'm just going to let myself feel the way I do. Sometimes I have to tell myself it's okay to feel something other than bubbly, happy gratitude. It's important to occasionally balance that out with slightly more lugubrious disposition every once in awhile.
When I sat down to type this entry an hour ago I felt like inexplicably disturbing greenish/brownish bubbles of stress and anxiousness were bubbling up inside of me and about to boil over. After having sorted through everything that was subconsciously going on in my mind, I feel more at peace to accept the fact that I consciously elect to feel legubrious for the next hour and a half and feel freed to go about the business I need to attend to before going to bed.
Ahhh... the wonders of blogging. <3 How I missed you, keyboard and blog!
XOXO
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Day 147: Day Off Happiness
You know what's nice? Being able to sleep in when other people have to go to work and then having the whole place to yourself when you finally do get up. :) Ahh... yes. I leisurely snoozed until a little after 11am and when I finally awoke, lazily wandered into the kitchen for some passion fruit drinkable yogurt and some decadent white chocolate butter cookies, and brought them back to bed with me and put on some music. :) Bliss. I was so relaxed that I dozed back to sleep for a bit and took a late morning nap!
An hour or so later, I was finally showered fresh as a daisy and ready to begin my day off!
In no time I was wondering the streets of Madrid solo and basking in the glow of some sunshine! Instead of going to my usual digs, I decided to just start walking from a fairly random point. The method to my madness is only to follow my gut - it's like a sort of destinationless geotracking for the soul, in which you tap into the universe's guiding energy rather than using a GPS. Haha! ^_^ I literally walk in the direction that "feels" most adventurous and warm. I am sure other people do this, but I've never heard about it... So it makes me feel like a very unique and adventurous spirit almost out of a book when I do it. I always feel like I'm on a grand secret mission and keep my eyes out for every little detail, overcome with awe at the smallest things! Once I read that this was a very specific kind of walking meditation, and boy if this is meditation, I see why people love and advocate it? :)
My first great find was Juicy Avenue - a little cafe that served freshly squeezed juices, along with American style bagels, salads, etc. Finding freshly squeezed juice in Madrid is surprisingly difficult, and so I was overjoyed to find such a cute place while I was still in the mood for something else breakfasty! I ordered an orange/carrot/raspberry juice and happily sipped it all over town! Yummmy.
My second great find was a little super chic yet unassuming neighborhood that I had never before come across. The streets were small and unimpressive, but the boutiques were beyond amazing and unique. The other people who were out in the street were clearly members of the creme de la creme of the city. It was like I had accidentally stumbled upon the secret neighborhood of color and style - and all I could do was ask myself, awestruck, ¨Where the hell am I?!¨I felt like I had entered an entirely different city - it felt a lot more New York City or Paris than Madrid. But it was Madrid! And that made it even more magical. :)
I drank my juice and window shopped, coming across one particularly amusing window display:
I continued my walk through the adorable neighborhood when I was stopped dead in my tracks. My jaw dropped. What. Had. I. Just. Found?!
It looked like a Gaudi building - only I knew there weren´t any Gaudi structures in Madrid. It was, by far, the most whimsical building I´d ever seen outside of Barcelona and I was in instantly in love. I walked around the whole thing, taking it all in and looking at each and every detail. I finally found a plaque that told of its history. It was a private residence constructed in 1901 for a prominent Madrileno in the a style influenced by Art Nouveau and Gaudi. As adorable as that neighborhood was, it was no thanks to the buildings, which were dark, small and run down. The streets were a little dirty and very narrow. And so to have this magestic building proudly stituated in the middle of it all - well, it was absolutely breathtaking. I did a little jig and sang a little song, proclaiming it to be my new secret gem of Madrid! ^_^
I continued on my little walking adventure, stumbling across a bright yellow, Moxie colored Vespa (wow!!)...
I wandered a bit further in search of lunch and, before long, it was time to meet up with Abby at Sol for our roomie date in the city we´d planned on Friday! :) She and I had both been so busy all weekend that we hadn´t seen each other in what felt like forever, and so as soon as we saw each other we let out a mini squeal and gave each other a big hug.
:) Adorable!
We spent the whole afternoon and evening aimlessly wandering around the city center (and trying, but failing, to find me pants that actually fit my suddenly tiny, tiny, tiny booty cheeks), catching each other up on our weekends while laughing and giggling. :) I´d promised her a week or two before that I´d take her to Malasana, since it was pretty much my favorite neighborhood in Madrid now, and so we headed that way. I really wasn´t sure I´d be able to find the cute cafe I´d gone to the other weekend and wanted so desperately to take her to, but after some wrong turns (and a stop in the Wine/Coffe/Book store, which she found to be amazing) I actually found it! Turn left after the Mango outlet on Fuencarral, walk until the plaza, turn left on the Calle de Pez, where you see the bar called ¨El perro en el parte detras del coche,¨ and walk until Calle Barco. Then it´s on the corner on your left.
BAMF.
I honestly couldn´t believe I´d found it. I hadn´t been paying much attention when he´d taken me there the other weekend, because I wasn´t even planning on going to a cafe. We´d only stepped inside because it was raining. Little did I know how adorable it´d turn out to be!
Anyway, Abby and I got a cute little seat near the window, on the adorably apolstered, super low to the ground seats, and the spunky lady from last weekend brought us over menus. We both ordered cafe asiaticos - the most alcoholic coffee choice on the menu - haha - and we both ordered a cake. We sat in that cafe for over an hour, talking about all sorts of things. That is one of our talents when we are together - never, ever running out of things to say. Haha! Spending a late afternoon at an adorable cafe talking with one of your closest friends and giggling - no better way to spend a part of my day off!
Our wandering and talking continued after we teared ourselves out of the cushy seats and we picked up some Thai food on our way home. What a brilliant plan Abby had! The food was amazingly still hot after our 45 minute train ride home, and we were more than ready to eat after getting into our PJs. :)
Overall, a lovely day off!
XOXO
An hour or so later, I was finally showered fresh as a daisy and ready to begin my day off!
In no time I was wondering the streets of Madrid solo and basking in the glow of some sunshine! Instead of going to my usual digs, I decided to just start walking from a fairly random point. The method to my madness is only to follow my gut - it's like a sort of destinationless geotracking for the soul, in which you tap into the universe's guiding energy rather than using a GPS. Haha! ^_^ I literally walk in the direction that "feels" most adventurous and warm. I am sure other people do this, but I've never heard about it... So it makes me feel like a very unique and adventurous spirit almost out of a book when I do it. I always feel like I'm on a grand secret mission and keep my eyes out for every little detail, overcome with awe at the smallest things! Once I read that this was a very specific kind of walking meditation, and boy if this is meditation, I see why people love and advocate it? :)
My first great find was Juicy Avenue - a little cafe that served freshly squeezed juices, along with American style bagels, salads, etc. Finding freshly squeezed juice in Madrid is surprisingly difficult, and so I was overjoyed to find such a cute place while I was still in the mood for something else breakfasty! I ordered an orange/carrot/raspberry juice and happily sipped it all over town! Yummmy.
My second great find was a little super chic yet unassuming neighborhood that I had never before come across. The streets were small and unimpressive, but the boutiques were beyond amazing and unique. The other people who were out in the street were clearly members of the creme de la creme of the city. It was like I had accidentally stumbled upon the secret neighborhood of color and style - and all I could do was ask myself, awestruck, ¨Where the hell am I?!¨I felt like I had entered an entirely different city - it felt a lot more New York City or Paris than Madrid. But it was Madrid! And that made it even more magical. :)
I drank my juice and window shopped, coming across one particularly amusing window display:
I continued my walk through the adorable neighborhood when I was stopped dead in my tracks. My jaw dropped. What. Had. I. Just. Found?!
It looked like a Gaudi building - only I knew there weren´t any Gaudi structures in Madrid. It was, by far, the most whimsical building I´d ever seen outside of Barcelona and I was in instantly in love. I walked around the whole thing, taking it all in and looking at each and every detail. I finally found a plaque that told of its history. It was a private residence constructed in 1901 for a prominent Madrileno in the a style influenced by Art Nouveau and Gaudi. As adorable as that neighborhood was, it was no thanks to the buildings, which were dark, small and run down. The streets were a little dirty and very narrow. And so to have this magestic building proudly stituated in the middle of it all - well, it was absolutely breathtaking. I did a little jig and sang a little song, proclaiming it to be my new secret gem of Madrid! ^_^
I continued on my little walking adventure, stumbling across a bright yellow, Moxie colored Vespa (wow!!)...
... and also spotted a hidden slice of Brazilian graffiti (awesome!!)...
I wandered a bit further in search of lunch and, before long, it was time to meet up with Abby at Sol for our roomie date in the city we´d planned on Friday! :) She and I had both been so busy all weekend that we hadn´t seen each other in what felt like forever, and so as soon as we saw each other we let out a mini squeal and gave each other a big hug.
:) Adorable!
We spent the whole afternoon and evening aimlessly wandering around the city center (and trying, but failing, to find me pants that actually fit my suddenly tiny, tiny, tiny booty cheeks), catching each other up on our weekends while laughing and giggling. :) I´d promised her a week or two before that I´d take her to Malasana, since it was pretty much my favorite neighborhood in Madrid now, and so we headed that way. I really wasn´t sure I´d be able to find the cute cafe I´d gone to the other weekend and wanted so desperately to take her to, but after some wrong turns (and a stop in the Wine/Coffe/Book store, which she found to be amazing) I actually found it! Turn left after the Mango outlet on Fuencarral, walk until the plaza, turn left on the Calle de Pez, where you see the bar called ¨El perro en el parte detras del coche,¨ and walk until Calle Barco. Then it´s on the corner on your left.
BAMF.
I honestly couldn´t believe I´d found it. I hadn´t been paying much attention when he´d taken me there the other weekend, because I wasn´t even planning on going to a cafe. We´d only stepped inside because it was raining. Little did I know how adorable it´d turn out to be!
Anyway, Abby and I got a cute little seat near the window, on the adorably apolstered, super low to the ground seats, and the spunky lady from last weekend brought us over menus. We both ordered cafe asiaticos - the most alcoholic coffee choice on the menu - haha - and we both ordered a cake. We sat in that cafe for over an hour, talking about all sorts of things. That is one of our talents when we are together - never, ever running out of things to say. Haha! Spending a late afternoon at an adorable cafe talking with one of your closest friends and giggling - no better way to spend a part of my day off!
Our wandering and talking continued after we teared ourselves out of the cushy seats and we picked up some Thai food on our way home. What a brilliant plan Abby had! The food was amazingly still hot after our 45 minute train ride home, and we were more than ready to eat after getting into our PJs. :)
Overall, a lovely day off!
XOXO
Day 144: Being Me
After a nice afternoon nap, I was up and getting ready to go into Madrid. I was to meet up with a guy I'd met last weekend while out at the Brazilian bar. Haha. I'd told him how it was near impossible for me to practice Spanish, despite LIVING in Spain, and how I could really use somebody to practice with. Moments later we had exchanged numbers.
The next day when he texted me and I'd remembered the whole thing, I laughed to myself, wondering when I'd become the girl who randomly gave her number out at a bar... Well, no, stupid question; I'd become that girl last night at the ripe young age of 23 years, 9 months, 14 days and 7 hours. Not that I was judging myself for it but any means... See, a few weeks ago I had the epiphany that I would be turning 24 years old in a mere few months. To me, 23 is still a kid, but 24 is the first year of being adult aged. And, along with being adult aged, comes responsibilities and benefits: By 24, you should really have a decent paying, steady job that forwards your professional career I some way... But you should also stop feeling guilty for doing things like giving your number out at a bar. You see that logic there? ;) Yeah, me neither... But it just makes sense in my mind. Haha.
Anyway, this guy had been very persistent with following up on the whole thing, so I'd agreed to meet him for coffee Friday night. Of course, once again, when it came to 5pm, all I wanted to do was cancel, but things had turned out so well the last time I randomly met up with somebody new that I knew I couldn't back out now. I threw on what I had worn that morning to school, put a wee bit of makeup on and left for the train.
This is a other weird thing that has changed in my personal philosophy about life recently: when going to meet somebody for the first or second time, do not dress to impress or get made up or pay any more attention to your hair than you would have otherwise. I can impress you later with the the fact that I can occasionally be persuaded clean up surprisingly well... But if you're not utterly enchanted by my winning personality (okay - extremely strange and unique personality), the forget it. All the desire I used to possess to impress people had run dry and has been replaced by the pure exigency to be nothing other than myself.
I think this changed on my travels. I remember my first night in Dublin wanting so badly to make everybody love me, and then how I was my last night in Brussels, really not giving a crap what anybody thought of me and being comfortable in my own skin. I think the issue previously had been that I'd never really been certain that who I was was actually likeable, and so I tried to cover it up by trying (sometimes too) hard, or by clamming up and not knowing who to be. I think it was Christmas Day when Lucia and Sebastian told me I was cool and they wished I could stay longer that I began to realize maybe just being myself was awesome enough for certain other awesome people... And that the only true was to determine another's awesomeness was to be 100% authentic and see how they take to it. ^_^ It saves such an amount of time and energy, and keeps a girl from wondering, "What would they think if they really knew me...?!" Haha.
There is some Marylin Monroe quote, I think, that says something like "It's far better to be absolutely ridiculous than it is to be boring and normal." At this point, I really couldn't agree more. :) It really takes a certain amount of balls to wear my monkey technicolor dream coat and my sequence glitter Chucks and talk about my undying love for cupcakes and mention my stuffed dog that I've slept with since I was 16. It's just not "normal"... But, then, I'm not normal, either, which is what, I'm finally beginning to grasp, makes me so worth getting to know. Awesome people like bravery. Awesome people like uniqueness. Awesome people like self-confidence. Awesome people value a certain amount of ridiculousness. ;)
I met up with the guy at the bear statue in Sol and we went on a stroll down to Plaza de España and over to Templo de Debod, just in time for the sunset (obviously the most perfect time to be there, as it boasts a great view of the Royal Palace, and when it starts to get dark, they turn the lights on to illuminate the temple and it looks so magnetic yet mysterious!). The whole way we talked - about what, I don't really remember... all I know is that it was all in Spanish. We continued our journey until we ended up at Starbucks, where I ordered a white mocha and was surprised with a cheesecake (hell yeah) for the second time in the past week (possum style, yo!). ^_^ We sat there for at least an hour, giggling and speaking more Spanish until he told me he was supposed to meet up with a friend and did I want to come. I said sure, and we went off to a more typical Spanish bar and hung out with his friend - who was a very odd sort of fellow, but with good stories. :) We all shared our roommate horror stories and they were hilarious!! It was actually really cool to hang out with two people I hardly knew - and all in Spanish! - for the night. :) At some point, though, I was ready for Friday Night Adventure: Part II, and I told them I should get going... After all, I had been speaking Spanish for FIVE hours straight and I was impressed enough with myself for the moment. Haha.
I didn't want to be rude and not invite my new friend along, but, well, I didn't want to invite my new friend along. I'd had fun, but I was ready to part ways for the night. So, I told them I was going back to Alcalá. The guy offered to walk me to the metro stop... Which turned into him taking the metro with me to the train station, then to entering the train station, too, as he also had to take a train home. >_< In all honesty, I was within walking distance of my next destination when we'd left the last bar, and I had planned to just leave the metro station after he walked me there and head for my friends... But after a long metro ride and using my Cercanias pass to enter the station, I was €5 poorer and about twenty minutes away from where I needed to be. >_< THANKFULLY the guys's train got there first, so I could get out of the train station and head back to the metro to back track. >_< Haha. Lying FAIL. Brother.
As I made my way back to the other side of town, I stopped at a corner shop ("chino" in Spanish, because they're all owned by Chinese people! So racist at first, but so disturbingly normal after a little while...) for a beer. The lady smiled at me as I reached in my wallet and cradled the can in her hands. "Are you 18?" she suddenly asked me, looking genuinely confused. I gave her an awkward laugh and then realized she was serious. I handed her my Spanish ID, telling her I was in fact 23, but here was my card anyway. She looked at it very closely before once again smiling and apologizing, clearly a little shocked.
O_o
I remember the other summer when L got carded in a Chino in Toledo for buying a beer, too. It was even more hilarious, though, since she was 26 at the time! Haha. When I finally caught up with 53 (I can't keep giving people letters for blog code names, so I'm switching to numbers for now - and yes, I have sound reason for this particular one) and told him the story, he just laughed and laughed. It's not so surprisingly a little awkward to tell somebody who is 28 that you were just mistaken for being less than ten years younger than them... Yeah.
>_<
He and I went out to a bar to meet his friends, then went to a bar in the Letters District that turned out to be magical! On the main floor they were playing late 80's and early 90's music, but in the basement there seemed to be an underground Lindy Hop dance going down! The Lindy music was up, the girls were twirling, the guys were doing a few aerials here and there... I felt like I'd just walked down the stairs and back in time to Spain's answer to the Savoy!! I was mesmerized, 53 was weirded out, but we stood there, sipping a drink and watching song after song. :) How weird it was to realize that was my first partner dance I'd learned! Now that I've branched out into West Coast and Forró and Argentine Tango, Lindy looked so silly - like a bunch of people just flailing about! Haha! Of course, I remember how much fun it was, and how I'd get the giggles when a fast song would come on! :) But, I can conclusively say that I am very grateful Fond du Lac's Shut Ip and Dance school allowed me to branch out. ;) Haha.
Another thing about Lindy is that the music really starts to get repetitive after a few minutes, and full on annoying a few minutes after that, and so eventually we wandered back upstairs. There, we created our own dance - a sort of Forró-Rock fusion - and I thanked the Dancing Gods for having blessed me with not only a love of dance, but a decent ability to follow so well. :)
XOXO
The next day when he texted me and I'd remembered the whole thing, I laughed to myself, wondering when I'd become the girl who randomly gave her number out at a bar... Well, no, stupid question; I'd become that girl last night at the ripe young age of 23 years, 9 months, 14 days and 7 hours. Not that I was judging myself for it but any means... See, a few weeks ago I had the epiphany that I would be turning 24 years old in a mere few months. To me, 23 is still a kid, but 24 is the first year of being adult aged. And, along with being adult aged, comes responsibilities and benefits: By 24, you should really have a decent paying, steady job that forwards your professional career I some way... But you should also stop feeling guilty for doing things like giving your number out at a bar. You see that logic there? ;) Yeah, me neither... But it just makes sense in my mind. Haha.
Anyway, this guy had been very persistent with following up on the whole thing, so I'd agreed to meet him for coffee Friday night. Of course, once again, when it came to 5pm, all I wanted to do was cancel, but things had turned out so well the last time I randomly met up with somebody new that I knew I couldn't back out now. I threw on what I had worn that morning to school, put a wee bit of makeup on and left for the train.
This is a other weird thing that has changed in my personal philosophy about life recently: when going to meet somebody for the first or second time, do not dress to impress or get made up or pay any more attention to your hair than you would have otherwise. I can impress you later with the the fact that I can occasionally be persuaded clean up surprisingly well... But if you're not utterly enchanted by my winning personality (okay - extremely strange and unique personality), the forget it. All the desire I used to possess to impress people had run dry and has been replaced by the pure exigency to be nothing other than myself.
I think this changed on my travels. I remember my first night in Dublin wanting so badly to make everybody love me, and then how I was my last night in Brussels, really not giving a crap what anybody thought of me and being comfortable in my own skin. I think the issue previously had been that I'd never really been certain that who I was was actually likeable, and so I tried to cover it up by trying (sometimes too) hard, or by clamming up and not knowing who to be. I think it was Christmas Day when Lucia and Sebastian told me I was cool and they wished I could stay longer that I began to realize maybe just being myself was awesome enough for certain other awesome people... And that the only true was to determine another's awesomeness was to be 100% authentic and see how they take to it. ^_^ It saves such an amount of time and energy, and keeps a girl from wondering, "What would they think if they really knew me...?!" Haha.
There is some Marylin Monroe quote, I think, that says something like "It's far better to be absolutely ridiculous than it is to be boring and normal." At this point, I really couldn't agree more. :) It really takes a certain amount of balls to wear my monkey technicolor dream coat and my sequence glitter Chucks and talk about my undying love for cupcakes and mention my stuffed dog that I've slept with since I was 16. It's just not "normal"... But, then, I'm not normal, either, which is what, I'm finally beginning to grasp, makes me so worth getting to know. Awesome people like bravery. Awesome people like uniqueness. Awesome people like self-confidence. Awesome people value a certain amount of ridiculousness. ;)
I met up with the guy at the bear statue in Sol and we went on a stroll down to Plaza de España and over to Templo de Debod, just in time for the sunset (obviously the most perfect time to be there, as it boasts a great view of the Royal Palace, and when it starts to get dark, they turn the lights on to illuminate the temple and it looks so magnetic yet mysterious!). The whole way we talked - about what, I don't really remember... all I know is that it was all in Spanish. We continued our journey until we ended up at Starbucks, where I ordered a white mocha and was surprised with a cheesecake (hell yeah) for the second time in the past week (possum style, yo!). ^_^ We sat there for at least an hour, giggling and speaking more Spanish until he told me he was supposed to meet up with a friend and did I want to come. I said sure, and we went off to a more typical Spanish bar and hung out with his friend - who was a very odd sort of fellow, but with good stories. :) We all shared our roommate horror stories and they were hilarious!! It was actually really cool to hang out with two people I hardly knew - and all in Spanish! - for the night. :) At some point, though, I was ready for Friday Night Adventure: Part II, and I told them I should get going... After all, I had been speaking Spanish for FIVE hours straight and I was impressed enough with myself for the moment. Haha.
I didn't want to be rude and not invite my new friend along, but, well, I didn't want to invite my new friend along. I'd had fun, but I was ready to part ways for the night. So, I told them I was going back to Alcalá. The guy offered to walk me to the metro stop... Which turned into him taking the metro with me to the train station, then to entering the train station, too, as he also had to take a train home. >_< In all honesty, I was within walking distance of my next destination when we'd left the last bar, and I had planned to just leave the metro station after he walked me there and head for my friends... But after a long metro ride and using my Cercanias pass to enter the station, I was €5 poorer and about twenty minutes away from where I needed to be. >_< THANKFULLY the guys's train got there first, so I could get out of the train station and head back to the metro to back track. >_< Haha. Lying FAIL. Brother.
As I made my way back to the other side of town, I stopped at a corner shop ("chino" in Spanish, because they're all owned by Chinese people! So racist at first, but so disturbingly normal after a little while...) for a beer. The lady smiled at me as I reached in my wallet and cradled the can in her hands. "Are you 18?" she suddenly asked me, looking genuinely confused. I gave her an awkward laugh and then realized she was serious. I handed her my Spanish ID, telling her I was in fact 23, but here was my card anyway. She looked at it very closely before once again smiling and apologizing, clearly a little shocked.
O_o
I remember the other summer when L got carded in a Chino in Toledo for buying a beer, too. It was even more hilarious, though, since she was 26 at the time! Haha. When I finally caught up with 53 (I can't keep giving people letters for blog code names, so I'm switching to numbers for now - and yes, I have sound reason for this particular one) and told him the story, he just laughed and laughed. It's not so surprisingly a little awkward to tell somebody who is 28 that you were just mistaken for being less than ten years younger than them... Yeah.
>_<
He and I went out to a bar to meet his friends, then went to a bar in the Letters District that turned out to be magical! On the main floor they were playing late 80's and early 90's music, but in the basement there seemed to be an underground Lindy Hop dance going down! The Lindy music was up, the girls were twirling, the guys were doing a few aerials here and there... I felt like I'd just walked down the stairs and back in time to Spain's answer to the Savoy!! I was mesmerized, 53 was weirded out, but we stood there, sipping a drink and watching song after song. :) How weird it was to realize that was my first partner dance I'd learned! Now that I've branched out into West Coast and Forró and Argentine Tango, Lindy looked so silly - like a bunch of people just flailing about! Haha! Of course, I remember how much fun it was, and how I'd get the giggles when a fast song would come on! :) But, I can conclusively say that I am very grateful Fond du Lac's Shut Ip and Dance school allowed me to branch out. ;) Haha.
Another thing about Lindy is that the music really starts to get repetitive after a few minutes, and full on annoying a few minutes after that, and so eventually we wandered back upstairs. There, we created our own dance - a sort of Forró-Rock fusion - and I thanked the Dancing Gods for having blessed me with not only a love of dance, but a decent ability to follow so well. :)
XOXO
Friday, January 25, 2013
Day 143: Small World
During lunch, Nacho's mom informed me that they wouldn't be able to have our lesson after school. She apologized quite a bit, but there was no need - I was ecstatic! A day off!? Fabulous!!
I tralalaed the whole way home on the bus and on foot. I burst through the apartment door and quickly realized I was the only one home! I started laundry and ate Oreos and drank horchata in celebration! Ten minutes later, Aaby and Katie were home and their jaws dropped when they saw me standing in the kitchen. "What are YOU doing home!?" they squealed in unison. :) Tee hee.
And so the three of us hang out, snacking and giggling (toot clap!). I adore those two girls!! A little while later we left to go on a walk in the center of town, and then it was time for Abby's lesson and for me to continue the walk alone. Spring colors are finally coming out in stores and my favorite color is everywhere!! Yay mint!!
In the morning, on my way to the bus stop, I saw a beautiful scarf in the window of a little boutique on our street. And so, my last stop of my perusing walk was to that shop. I've always wanted to go in it, but I've never been brave enough because it is so small and I knew I'd have no choice but converse with the lady working inside, and it just seemed like too much stress! But you don't understand how gorgeous this scarf was! I went in and sure enough she starts talking to me right away.
"¡Hola! ¿Puedo ayudarte con alguna cosa?"
"Sí - ¿cuánto cuesta... or, um... cuánto vale esa... bufanda?
"Do you speak English?!"
"Pues, sí - los dos."
But it was too late. Everything from then on was in English and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
See, thing is, it's basically impossible to speak Spanish while living in Madrid. Either people can tell that you're clearly a foreigner speaking their language by your accent and mistakes, and so they want nothing to do with you and your shitty use of their language... OR they quickly figure out you are an American and all they want to do is use the few moments they have with you to practice their English. >_< RAWR!!!
I've decided that as of February 1st, I will try an experiment of only speaking Spanish when possible - with the teachers at school, with my roomies at home, when I'm in stores and they keep talking to me in English. Anytime. It's a "pesdado" (obnoxious thing) to live in a foreign country but never speak the language! Sheesh.
Anyway, the lady was so very nice despite this annoyance. She asked where I was from and when I said Colorado, she could hardly contain her excitement.
"Where in Colorado?!?!"
"Denver."
"I lived in Colorado Springs!! My husband is American and was in the military there!!"
"Oh! My half sister lived on that base because her husband is in the military, too."
"Wow!! I have friends who live in Aurora... They work at Buckley Air-force Base."
"Huh! Yeah, I actually last lived in Aurora."
"Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
"Mmhmm..."
"You know what I miss a about Colorado? Cherry Creek."
"OHMYGOD I LOVE CHERRY CREEK!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ooh I know! I love Park Meadows, too."
"Haha. I used to work at Park Meadows."
"Really?!?!?!?!?!"
It was way weird to be talking about home to a lady who has a store a block away from my current home in a very far away continent and country! Wat a small world! The lady continued talking, while I tried to pay. Ha. When she finally took my money she said if I had any problems with the scarf or just got sick of it and wanted a new one, to come right back and it'd be no problem. She told me to come back and visit and clearly did not want me to leave! It was really cute, but a little bit overwhelming! Haha.
Rest of the night was spent giggling and telling more stories with Abby and Katie, before I finally cleaned a little of my room and went to sleep.
XOXO
I tralalaed the whole way home on the bus and on foot. I burst through the apartment door and quickly realized I was the only one home! I started laundry and ate Oreos and drank horchata in celebration! Ten minutes later, Aaby and Katie were home and their jaws dropped when they saw me standing in the kitchen. "What are YOU doing home!?" they squealed in unison. :) Tee hee.
And so the three of us hang out, snacking and giggling (toot clap!). I adore those two girls!! A little while later we left to go on a walk in the center of town, and then it was time for Abby's lesson and for me to continue the walk alone. Spring colors are finally coming out in stores and my favorite color is everywhere!! Yay mint!!
In the morning, on my way to the bus stop, I saw a beautiful scarf in the window of a little boutique on our street. And so, my last stop of my perusing walk was to that shop. I've always wanted to go in it, but I've never been brave enough because it is so small and I knew I'd have no choice but converse with the lady working inside, and it just seemed like too much stress! But you don't understand how gorgeous this scarf was! I went in and sure enough she starts talking to me right away.
"¡Hola! ¿Puedo ayudarte con alguna cosa?"
"Sí - ¿cuánto cuesta... or, um... cuánto vale esa... bufanda?
"Do you speak English?!"
"Pues, sí - los dos."
But it was too late. Everything from then on was in English and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
See, thing is, it's basically impossible to speak Spanish while living in Madrid. Either people can tell that you're clearly a foreigner speaking their language by your accent and mistakes, and so they want nothing to do with you and your shitty use of their language... OR they quickly figure out you are an American and all they want to do is use the few moments they have with you to practice their English. >_< RAWR!!!
I've decided that as of February 1st, I will try an experiment of only speaking Spanish when possible - with the teachers at school, with my roomies at home, when I'm in stores and they keep talking to me in English. Anytime. It's a "pesdado" (obnoxious thing) to live in a foreign country but never speak the language! Sheesh.
Anyway, the lady was so very nice despite this annoyance. She asked where I was from and when I said Colorado, she could hardly contain her excitement.
"Where in Colorado?!?!"
"Denver."
"I lived in Colorado Springs!! My husband is American and was in the military there!!"
"Oh! My half sister lived on that base because her husband is in the military, too."
"Wow!! I have friends who live in Aurora... They work at Buckley Air-force Base."
"Huh! Yeah, I actually last lived in Aurora."
"Really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
"Mmhmm..."
"You know what I miss a about Colorado? Cherry Creek."
"OHMYGOD I LOVE CHERRY CREEK!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Ooh I know! I love Park Meadows, too."
"Haha. I used to work at Park Meadows."
"Really?!?!?!?!?!"
It was way weird to be talking about home to a lady who has a store a block away from my current home in a very far away continent and country! Wat a small world! The lady continued talking, while I tried to pay. Ha. When she finally took my money she said if I had any problems with the scarf or just got sick of it and wanted a new one, to come right back and it'd be no problem. She told me to come back and visit and clearly did not want me to leave! It was really cute, but a little bit overwhelming! Haha.
Rest of the night was spent giggling and telling more stories with Abby and Katie, before I finally cleaned a little of my room and went to sleep.
XOXO
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Day 142: On to New Adventures
I was so excited to go to my lesson after school, because I knew it would be my last lesson with that family. Earlier in the day I had received an email from the lady in Madrid, accepting my offer to teach her - schedule, price and all! :) And so it was set - I would drop this family, and, in exchange, pick up one third grade boy from my school and a woman in Madrid. I would be teaching four hours extra per month, and making €100 more! :) Yay! Of course, my new schedule would be a little crazy:
Monday: 5-6 pm in La Garena
Tuesday: 5-6 pm in Torrejon then 8:30-10 pm in Madrid
Wednesday: 7:45 - 9:15 in Madrid
Thursday: 5-6 in Torrejon
It's only six hours of teaching, but the amount of commuting all of this would take is five hours in total! But don't get me wrong - I'm excited about it! I can read or blog to do homework on the train without problem. And I'd now be in Madrid two nights a week minimum... Which would mean it'd be economically intelligent for me to get an abono (unlimited transportation pass) again!
So of course tonight I get there, all excited about this, ready for the kids to be a handful as usual, and what happens? Marta greets me at the door with a big smile and tells me I look pretty. Every single other day I have been made to wait outside while she and her brother fight over who is going to open the door, meanwhile it's raining and I'm getting more and more drenched. And then when one of them wins, they shout, "¿¿QUIEN ES?? I respond with my name every time and every time the yell, "¿QUIEN?" Ugh!! So today, to have the girl immediately open the door for me, smiling up at me, and telling me - in English! -- that I was pretty today... Well it was utterly confusing.
I go up to her room and she sits down and says - again, in ENGLISH - "Hello, Chelsea. How are you today?"
O_o What?!?
She then got out her textbooks to start working on what her mom told her to work on (which has also never, ever happened before) and got to work right away, all the while talking to her pencil and eraser in English and doing the exercises perfectly. Then she ASKED if we could play. I told her after she wrote her numbers, and so she did. She got two wrong, and when I corrected her, instead of telling me I was stupid and she'd clearly written them correctly and then refusing to write anymore, she carefully looked at my correction and then tried again and got it right. O_o
And when we did start playing? She played in English!!? She told me to be her teddy bear's English teacher and I taught him numbers, which she overheard and started singing them along with me.
And when it was time for me to go to her brother's room, she politely said goodbye.
What. The. Eff?!
And Carlos was just as good! We went over is chapter in his textbook. We talked. We played football. Marta came in and ASKED if she could play with us. When I told her in five minutes, she smiled and said okay and went back to her room to work on her homework.
It was like they were Stepford Students. It was, in all honesty, borderline creepy!!
And so when it was time for me to say goodbye, I actually kinda felt a tiny bit sad I wouldn't be coming back. I had a brief moment of wondering if I shouldn't quit - if maybe I should just have five students and work with all of them? But alas I decided to stick to my plan. I'll give their parents my roomies' numbers and maybe they can continue with them. One day of angelic kids does not discount the other months of me dreading going there. They are really not as bad as I have made them out to be at times, but when I compare them to Nacho or to teaching an adult who is really motivated and excited... There's just no competition!
It all begins next Tuesday - one week after I first had the thought that maybe it would be possible to quit that job and get another one that would make me happier. And not only happier, but better off financially, too, as it turns out!
I am excited for my next, new adventure in teaching. :)
XOXO
Monday: 5-6 pm in La Garena
Tuesday: 5-6 pm in Torrejon then 8:30-10 pm in Madrid
Wednesday: 7:45 - 9:15 in Madrid
Thursday: 5-6 in Torrejon
It's only six hours of teaching, but the amount of commuting all of this would take is five hours in total! But don't get me wrong - I'm excited about it! I can read or blog to do homework on the train without problem. And I'd now be in Madrid two nights a week minimum... Which would mean it'd be economically intelligent for me to get an abono (unlimited transportation pass) again!
So of course tonight I get there, all excited about this, ready for the kids to be a handful as usual, and what happens? Marta greets me at the door with a big smile and tells me I look pretty. Every single other day I have been made to wait outside while she and her brother fight over who is going to open the door, meanwhile it's raining and I'm getting more and more drenched. And then when one of them wins, they shout, "¿¿QUIEN ES?? I respond with my name every time and every time the yell, "¿QUIEN?" Ugh!! So today, to have the girl immediately open the door for me, smiling up at me, and telling me - in English! -- that I was pretty today... Well it was utterly confusing.
I go up to her room and she sits down and says - again, in ENGLISH - "Hello, Chelsea. How are you today?"
O_o What?!?
She then got out her textbooks to start working on what her mom told her to work on (which has also never, ever happened before) and got to work right away, all the while talking to her pencil and eraser in English and doing the exercises perfectly. Then she ASKED if we could play. I told her after she wrote her numbers, and so she did. She got two wrong, and when I corrected her, instead of telling me I was stupid and she'd clearly written them correctly and then refusing to write anymore, she carefully looked at my correction and then tried again and got it right. O_o
And when we did start playing? She played in English!!? She told me to be her teddy bear's English teacher and I taught him numbers, which she overheard and started singing them along with me.
And when it was time for me to go to her brother's room, she politely said goodbye.
What. The. Eff?!
And Carlos was just as good! We went over is chapter in his textbook. We talked. We played football. Marta came in and ASKED if she could play with us. When I told her in five minutes, she smiled and said okay and went back to her room to work on her homework.
It was like they were Stepford Students. It was, in all honesty, borderline creepy!!
And so when it was time for me to say goodbye, I actually kinda felt a tiny bit sad I wouldn't be coming back. I had a brief moment of wondering if I shouldn't quit - if maybe I should just have five students and work with all of them? But alas I decided to stick to my plan. I'll give their parents my roomies' numbers and maybe they can continue with them. One day of angelic kids does not discount the other months of me dreading going there. They are really not as bad as I have made them out to be at times, but when I compare them to Nacho or to teaching an adult who is really motivated and excited... There's just no competition!
It all begins next Tuesday - one week after I first had the thought that maybe it would be possible to quit that job and get another one that would make me happier. And not only happier, but better off financially, too, as it turns out!
I am excited for my next, new adventure in teaching. :)
XOXO
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Day 141: Teacher for a Day
During first period, Cristina came to ask to talk to me in the hall. This had never happened to me before, and I had no idea what she could possibly be coming to tell me in the middle of teaching my fifth graders frequency adverbs...
I stepped into the hall and she handed me a paper. She explained that my favorite teacher was out sick for the day and they had decided that I would substitute teach for her classes today. The paper she'd handed me was my new schedule for the day. I would have a lady from Infantil with me in case I had any behavior issues that I couldn't handle, but she doesn't speak English, so I'd be doing all the classes more or less on my own!
^_^
I thanked her for the info and went back into my class to keep teaching. I manage to tell the teacher in that class what had just happened and she said that was a good indication of just how much they liked me and trusted me at this school. :) She said she can't even imagine any of the other interns being given such a responsibility, and so I should feel really good about it.
And oh, I did!
I taught second grade and just continued where we left off last class. I walked into the room and said, " I have bad news and good news. Bad news is your teacher is sick. Good news is I'm your teacher for this hour!" They all started cheering and it was totally adorable. :)
I went to third grade next and realized it was their science hour. I went over two pages in their science textbook, in which they learned about rotation and orbiting. I made them all stand up and make an axis with their arms over their heads. Then I had them rotate rotate rotate. Next I picked kids to come to the front and be various heavenly bodies. I had them start with their axis, then rotate rotate rotate, and then start orbiting the sun/earth at the same time. Everyone was giggling and dizzy the whole time, but I'm just hoping when their teacher comes back today, they will have an idea of rotation and orbiting and will show her how they know. ;)
At the end of that class, my most adoring student in the whole school came up and hugged me for the millionth time, and then - out of nowhere - burst out in song. He serenaded me with 50 Nifty United States! Last week I'd given the class the lyrics with one verse, but I hadn't give them the whole song and I hadn't told them they needed to practice or anything. This kid had memorized EVERY single verse of the song and sang it with amazing articulation and melody! I was beyond awestruck! I gave him a shiny sticker for his hard work and he beamed. He informed me he would be making me a bracelet this weekend and would give it to me as a special gift next week. He came up to me at lunch to ask what my favorite colors were so he could make it wonderful. :) See, the thing about this boy is that he is flamboyant as &$!@. And it is absolutely adorable. His teacher and I were talking about what a fabulous gay man he is totally going to grow into, because he's already more than half way there and he is eight years old! So adorable!!
I was supposed to have two hours with the first graders, but one of my secondary teachers refused to give me up for her hour, and so I taught my sixth grade class like normal. After having given them that English Dictionary of Awesomeness and bingo board last week, they have become my most clever class by far. Whenever I see them in the hall, they are always using all their slang vocab and it is pretty adorable. It is a little strange because they are the exact phrases kids their age in America would normally use in the hall and on the playground, so to hear them learning how to use them just as frequently and correctly is totally awesome! Just being able to use these colloquial expressions makes them sound so fluent it's insane. I'm pretty sure that they could Skype a kid in America and despite their grammatical mistakes, being able to say, "Hey! What's up? Me? Meh. Idunno. You won a football match? Sweet!" would make them seem incredibly less foreign and a lot more like just another kid their age who happens to live in another country. :) The whole bingo activity is great for those kids who wouldn't shut up before, because they still won't shut up, but now they are constantly speaking only in American slang, which is hilarious, cause they're starting ton really get good at it!
Anyway, I love their class now because the teacher will tell me what they need to work on when I walk in the room and I have to come up with activities off the top of my head. For the last ten minutes i had them do a duel - two kids have to use past tense correctly and pronounce it correctly, while using different verbs each sentence. One says a sentence, then the other says a sentence. They have five seconds to make their sentence or they're out. It was really fun, but the last two to duel were crazy awesome at it and it was absolutely hilarious to watch! Seriously impressed. ;)
Last hour was my first graders, who were adorable as always. <3
In each of the sick teacher's classes, I had the kid who was the best at English make their teacher a Get Well card and had the other students sign it or draw her a picture on it. At the end of the day I took pictures of them all and texted them to her, saying I hoped she was feeling better. She wrote right back and told me how lovely that was of me and how happy it made her. :) Yay!
Mr. Nacho was surprisingly the only tricky part of my day, and only because he wouldn't speak English! O_o We still had a great time together and i got the giggles again, which makes him get the giggles, which is so adorable I get the giggles again. Haha. But at the end of the "lesson" I told him his mom probably wouldn't let me come back to play because we weren't speaking English and I was really sad cause I love playing with him. He got really serious and didn't say another word in Spanish and said she wouldn't be mad at us if we cleaned up his room really well and organized his playroom really well - so we cleaned and talked in English for the last five minutes. Haha! :)
After the whole day of being my own teacher, I started to realize just how good at this I sorta am. :) Cool!
At home I had dinner with my everyone and Abby and I toyed around with the idea of moving into the city together in the fall and finding our own apartment together. We talked about how we'd host couch surfers and how we'd get a Vespa to share. How we'd decorate it so cute and how we could go out for drinks or coffee whenever we wanted, cause we'd move close to Malasaña! :) I love when we go to bed at 10, turn out the lights, then lay in our beds and talk for hours about everything. :) I can't believe how much I lucked out on getting her as my roomie and friend! <3
XOXO
I stepped into the hall and she handed me a paper. She explained that my favorite teacher was out sick for the day and they had decided that I would substitute teach for her classes today. The paper she'd handed me was my new schedule for the day. I would have a lady from Infantil with me in case I had any behavior issues that I couldn't handle, but she doesn't speak English, so I'd be doing all the classes more or less on my own!
^_^
I thanked her for the info and went back into my class to keep teaching. I manage to tell the teacher in that class what had just happened and she said that was a good indication of just how much they liked me and trusted me at this school. :) She said she can't even imagine any of the other interns being given such a responsibility, and so I should feel really good about it.
And oh, I did!
I taught second grade and just continued where we left off last class. I walked into the room and said, " I have bad news and good news. Bad news is your teacher is sick. Good news is I'm your teacher for this hour!" They all started cheering and it was totally adorable. :)
I went to third grade next and realized it was their science hour. I went over two pages in their science textbook, in which they learned about rotation and orbiting. I made them all stand up and make an axis with their arms over their heads. Then I had them rotate rotate rotate. Next I picked kids to come to the front and be various heavenly bodies. I had them start with their axis, then rotate rotate rotate, and then start orbiting the sun/earth at the same time. Everyone was giggling and dizzy the whole time, but I'm just hoping when their teacher comes back today, they will have an idea of rotation and orbiting and will show her how they know. ;)
At the end of that class, my most adoring student in the whole school came up and hugged me for the millionth time, and then - out of nowhere - burst out in song. He serenaded me with 50 Nifty United States! Last week I'd given the class the lyrics with one verse, but I hadn't give them the whole song and I hadn't told them they needed to practice or anything. This kid had memorized EVERY single verse of the song and sang it with amazing articulation and melody! I was beyond awestruck! I gave him a shiny sticker for his hard work and he beamed. He informed me he would be making me a bracelet this weekend and would give it to me as a special gift next week. He came up to me at lunch to ask what my favorite colors were so he could make it wonderful. :) See, the thing about this boy is that he is flamboyant as &$!@. And it is absolutely adorable. His teacher and I were talking about what a fabulous gay man he is totally going to grow into, because he's already more than half way there and he is eight years old! So adorable!!
I was supposed to have two hours with the first graders, but one of my secondary teachers refused to give me up for her hour, and so I taught my sixth grade class like normal. After having given them that English Dictionary of Awesomeness and bingo board last week, they have become my most clever class by far. Whenever I see them in the hall, they are always using all their slang vocab and it is pretty adorable. It is a little strange because they are the exact phrases kids their age in America would normally use in the hall and on the playground, so to hear them learning how to use them just as frequently and correctly is totally awesome! Just being able to use these colloquial expressions makes them sound so fluent it's insane. I'm pretty sure that they could Skype a kid in America and despite their grammatical mistakes, being able to say, "Hey! What's up? Me? Meh. Idunno. You won a football match? Sweet!" would make them seem incredibly less foreign and a lot more like just another kid their age who happens to live in another country. :) The whole bingo activity is great for those kids who wouldn't shut up before, because they still won't shut up, but now they are constantly speaking only in American slang, which is hilarious, cause they're starting ton really get good at it!
Anyway, I love their class now because the teacher will tell me what they need to work on when I walk in the room and I have to come up with activities off the top of my head. For the last ten minutes i had them do a duel - two kids have to use past tense correctly and pronounce it correctly, while using different verbs each sentence. One says a sentence, then the other says a sentence. They have five seconds to make their sentence or they're out. It was really fun, but the last two to duel were crazy awesome at it and it was absolutely hilarious to watch! Seriously impressed. ;)
Last hour was my first graders, who were adorable as always. <3
In each of the sick teacher's classes, I had the kid who was the best at English make their teacher a Get Well card and had the other students sign it or draw her a picture on it. At the end of the day I took pictures of them all and texted them to her, saying I hoped she was feeling better. She wrote right back and told me how lovely that was of me and how happy it made her. :) Yay!
Mr. Nacho was surprisingly the only tricky part of my day, and only because he wouldn't speak English! O_o We still had a great time together and i got the giggles again, which makes him get the giggles, which is so adorable I get the giggles again. Haha. But at the end of the "lesson" I told him his mom probably wouldn't let me come back to play because we weren't speaking English and I was really sad cause I love playing with him. He got really serious and didn't say another word in Spanish and said she wouldn't be mad at us if we cleaned up his room really well and organized his playroom really well - so we cleaned and talked in English for the last five minutes. Haha! :)
After the whole day of being my own teacher, I started to realize just how good at this I sorta am. :) Cool!
At home I had dinner with my everyone and Abby and I toyed around with the idea of moving into the city together in the fall and finding our own apartment together. We talked about how we'd host couch surfers and how we'd get a Vespa to share. How we'd decorate it so cute and how we could go out for drinks or coffee whenever we wanted, cause we'd move close to Malasaña! :) I love when we go to bed at 10, turn out the lights, then lay in our beds and talk for hours about everything. :) I can't believe how much I lucked out on getting her as my roomie and friend! <3
XOXO
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Day 140: Serendipity
I was texting New Brazilian Friend, asking him if he wanted to trade jobs for the night, cause I was dreading going to "teach" the two Monday/Wednesday kids. He wrote write back and said no thanks, cause he loved his job too much.
As soon as I read his message, I started thinking...
I've always been the girl to tell people not to continue doing something if it makes them unhappy. I have slowly grown into the type of girl who believes life is what you make it, and intends to not only preach this philosophy, but be an example of it.
I absolutely adore my life here in Madrid now. The only only ONLY thing that I dread are those classes every Monday and Wednesday from 5:30-7:00. So what was I doing still going to them and complaining about them to someone I'd only met four days before!?
I, of all people, know better.
And so on my walk to their house, I told myself that this would be my last week with them. And then I would quit and the universe would help me find some new lessons with actual motivated and sweet students who I could truly help and teach instead of babysit. Punto pelota.
I immediately began to feel lighter and happier, and I hadn't even reached their door yet! :) How great would it be to have a life in which I truly loved every single detail!? Imagine! And this was my last big barrier. Whew!
After the lesson, I carried on as usual... Went home and had dinner with my favoritest roomies ever (how I'd missed them while I was AWOL this weekend!) and relaxed on my bed, recounting all my stories of the weekend to Abby. The whole time, in the back of my head I was waiting for somebody to contact me about lessons. I didn't know who or how they'd get my number necessarily - just that the universe was contacting them to contact me and everything was already in motion.
So if course, that was when I got the Whatsapp message who knows who's mom, saying her son's English tutor had just gotten a new job and was I interested in the position.
All I could do was smile and bounce on my bed. :) BAMF, Universe. BAMF.
I responded and set up a time to start tutoring her son in two weeks. ^_^ I still don't know how she got my number, but I did figure out it's a 3rd grade boy from my favorite teacher's class - so I know he'll know he can't speak English with me and I'll be able to ask his teacher what she thinks he needs work on! Yay!
Fifteen minutes later I read a post on my Master's group's Facebook group that my friend new of a lady in downtown Madrid who was dying to start classes and really wanted a fun teacher. I wrote him immediately for her contact info and sent her a cheery email with my background and availability. This morning I got a really enthusiastic response from here telling me how excited she was to get my email and would like to start next week!
*crazy squeal of happiness!!!!!*
And so I wrote New Brazilian Friend and thanked him for inspiring me to do something about what was making me unhappy instead of continue to just complain about it and continue to dread it. I told him what I'd done and how it'd worked out. He wrote me back and told me I was the craziest girl he'd ever met. Hahahahaha!
I prefer unique. ;)
Or BAMF.
Tee hee!!!
This is by far not the first thing like this has happened... But every time it does, I never quite know what to make of it. I feel like a braggart telling people about it - and they look at me like it was just serendipity and luck - but I think there's something far more intense going on. It takes chutzpah to decide to change something rather than complain about it. And it takes a crazy amount of courage to place your faith in the universe and ask if for what you want and be willing to wait for it... look for it... get ready for it... Etc. I honestly think had I not decided to quit, I wouldn't have gotten that mom to write - or I would have given the job to my friends. I wouldn't have read my friend's post and I wouldn't have written him for more info. So it wasn't just a lucky coincidence really... It was a very intential and divinely inspired chain of events. At least, that's how I see it. So, thanks Universe. And thanks, Conor. Thanks for listening to little me and thanks for your super quick response. I am open to any requests you have for me, as well. Just let me know. ;)
XOXO
As soon as I read his message, I started thinking...
I've always been the girl to tell people not to continue doing something if it makes them unhappy. I have slowly grown into the type of girl who believes life is what you make it, and intends to not only preach this philosophy, but be an example of it.
I absolutely adore my life here in Madrid now. The only only ONLY thing that I dread are those classes every Monday and Wednesday from 5:30-7:00. So what was I doing still going to them and complaining about them to someone I'd only met four days before!?
I, of all people, know better.
And so on my walk to their house, I told myself that this would be my last week with them. And then I would quit and the universe would help me find some new lessons with actual motivated and sweet students who I could truly help and teach instead of babysit. Punto pelota.
I immediately began to feel lighter and happier, and I hadn't even reached their door yet! :) How great would it be to have a life in which I truly loved every single detail!? Imagine! And this was my last big barrier. Whew!
After the lesson, I carried on as usual... Went home and had dinner with my favoritest roomies ever (how I'd missed them while I was AWOL this weekend!) and relaxed on my bed, recounting all my stories of the weekend to Abby. The whole time, in the back of my head I was waiting for somebody to contact me about lessons. I didn't know who or how they'd get my number necessarily - just that the universe was contacting them to contact me and everything was already in motion.
So if course, that was when I got the Whatsapp message who knows who's mom, saying her son's English tutor had just gotten a new job and was I interested in the position.
All I could do was smile and bounce on my bed. :) BAMF, Universe. BAMF.
I responded and set up a time to start tutoring her son in two weeks. ^_^ I still don't know how she got my number, but I did figure out it's a 3rd grade boy from my favorite teacher's class - so I know he'll know he can't speak English with me and I'll be able to ask his teacher what she thinks he needs work on! Yay!
Fifteen minutes later I read a post on my Master's group's Facebook group that my friend new of a lady in downtown Madrid who was dying to start classes and really wanted a fun teacher. I wrote him immediately for her contact info and sent her a cheery email with my background and availability. This morning I got a really enthusiastic response from here telling me how excited she was to get my email and would like to start next week!
*crazy squeal of happiness!!!!!*
And so I wrote New Brazilian Friend and thanked him for inspiring me to do something about what was making me unhappy instead of continue to just complain about it and continue to dread it. I told him what I'd done and how it'd worked out. He wrote me back and told me I was the craziest girl he'd ever met. Hahahahaha!
I prefer unique. ;)
Or BAMF.
Tee hee!!!
This is by far not the first thing like this has happened... But every time it does, I never quite know what to make of it. I feel like a braggart telling people about it - and they look at me like it was just serendipity and luck - but I think there's something far more intense going on. It takes chutzpah to decide to change something rather than complain about it. And it takes a crazy amount of courage to place your faith in the universe and ask if for what you want and be willing to wait for it... look for it... get ready for it... Etc. I honestly think had I not decided to quit, I wouldn't have gotten that mom to write - or I would have given the job to my friends. I wouldn't have read my friend's post and I wouldn't have written him for more info. So it wasn't just a lucky coincidence really... It was a very intential and divinely inspired chain of events. At least, that's how I see it. So, thanks Universe. And thanks, Conor. Thanks for listening to little me and thanks for your super quick response. I am open to any requests you have for me, as well. Just let me know. ;)
XOXO
Monday, January 21, 2013
Day 137: Ooops
I was running on four hours of sleep.
But that wasn't the worst of my problems, upon waking up, as it turned out.
The day before in his private play-lesson, Nacho had been tinkering with my phone (this time while I WATCHED, so that he wouldn't go and hide it again!). I let him figure out how to unlock the screen and gave him ten seconds of random button tapping after that before I took it back from him and continued the lesson.
What I didn't know was that in those ten seconds of random button tapping, he had somehow managed to set my phone on "Vacation Mode" and, thus, cancel all of my alarms.
If Abby hadn't been walking around and looking for things in her drawers, I would have never woken up in time. But as luck would have it, she was, and so I did. Barely.
It was 8:28 when my eyes opened.
The bus leaves at 8:34. It's a four minute walk to the bus-stop.
EFF.
I jumped out of bed, blindly grabbed the first pair of pants and long-sleeved shirt I could find in the dark, threw on a coat and some Uggs and RAN for it. Literally.
It was at some point on the school bus ride that I was adjusting the buttons on my jacket and realized what shirt I'd grabbed.
It was my black and bright pink hoodie I'd purchased weeks ago. On it, it read, "AMSTERDAM Cannabis" along with a giant pink Adidas/Cannabis leaf.
Fail.
Fail. Fail. Fail.
I immediately wrote Abby to tell her (I knew she'd appreciate the humor in it), and went to find the teacher who'd once asked me during lunch, "Have you read '50 Shades of Grey'? It's the best book I've ever read!"... knowing that she'd be liberal enough to also have a good laugh about it. She offered me her art teacher smock and I accepted, but really I just wore my big, fluffy and colorful coat for the whole day and things were fine (a little sweaty, but fine). :) Haha!
After class was university classes - which were in Spanish and thus not as awful as expected. In the middle of the class we had a meeting with a representative from Madrid's Ministry of Education. As it turns out, they were there to offer and guarantee us a full time position starting October 1st! The offer is for teaching 16 hours per week, 4 days per week and earning 1000 euro per month! ^_^ Not bad, considering how much down time you'd have to get private lessons set up and travel every once in awhile. :) Deadline to turn in your info is March 15, and I'm pretty sure I'll turn my paperwork in. We even get to choose the district of Madrid we want to teach in and live (can you say MALASANA)!! ^_^
XOXO
But that wasn't the worst of my problems, upon waking up, as it turned out.
The day before in his private play-lesson, Nacho had been tinkering with my phone (this time while I WATCHED, so that he wouldn't go and hide it again!). I let him figure out how to unlock the screen and gave him ten seconds of random button tapping after that before I took it back from him and continued the lesson.
What I didn't know was that in those ten seconds of random button tapping, he had somehow managed to set my phone on "Vacation Mode" and, thus, cancel all of my alarms.
If Abby hadn't been walking around and looking for things in her drawers, I would have never woken up in time. But as luck would have it, she was, and so I did. Barely.
It was 8:28 when my eyes opened.
The bus leaves at 8:34. It's a four minute walk to the bus-stop.
EFF.
I jumped out of bed, blindly grabbed the first pair of pants and long-sleeved shirt I could find in the dark, threw on a coat and some Uggs and RAN for it. Literally.
It was at some point on the school bus ride that I was adjusting the buttons on my jacket and realized what shirt I'd grabbed.
It was my black and bright pink hoodie I'd purchased weeks ago. On it, it read, "AMSTERDAM Cannabis" along with a giant pink Adidas/Cannabis leaf.
Fail.
Fail. Fail. Fail.
I immediately wrote Abby to tell her (I knew she'd appreciate the humor in it), and went to find the teacher who'd once asked me during lunch, "Have you read '50 Shades of Grey'? It's the best book I've ever read!"... knowing that she'd be liberal enough to also have a good laugh about it. She offered me her art teacher smock and I accepted, but really I just wore my big, fluffy and colorful coat for the whole day and things were fine (a little sweaty, but fine). :) Haha!
After class was university classes - which were in Spanish and thus not as awful as expected. In the middle of the class we had a meeting with a representative from Madrid's Ministry of Education. As it turns out, they were there to offer and guarantee us a full time position starting October 1st! The offer is for teaching 16 hours per week, 4 days per week and earning 1000 euro per month! ^_^ Not bad, considering how much down time you'd have to get private lessons set up and travel every once in awhile. :) Deadline to turn in your info is March 15, and I'm pretty sure I'll turn my paperwork in. We even get to choose the district of Madrid we want to teach in and live (can you say MALASANA)!! ^_^
XOXO
Friday, January 18, 2013
Day 136: Crazy Night of Forró
This was not what I was expecting.
At all.
In fact, I had been dreading it all day long! From the time I woke up until somewhere between the first and second beer, I felt like I was under that pesky little rain cloud that kept pulling at my little plaid peach shirt and telling me that my grand plan of running off to Brazil was "doido de mais" (really ridiculous) and that I needed to grow up and come up with a Big Girl plan. During our Skype conversation the night before, B had told me that traveling around Brazil with your boyfriend and actually living and working there were completely different things. He told me he felt like I was only going there because I had already tried Portland for Julia and Madrid for L and that he and his country were last choice and that I would be just as disappointed that things had changed there, too, since I was last there two years ago, as I have been with the past two places I lived. He said professionally I wouldn't make that much money and that Brazilian culture wasn't as magical as I've made it out to be from my limited experiences. He said he would love for me to be there, but that it if I was just doing it because he was there, it was a mistake. He threw it in somewhere in there that I hadn't expressed excitement about him considering visiting me in Spain so basically that was the same thing - only it didn't bother him (right!) like his lack of reaction clearly bothers me.
The thing about B is, he has this way of TELLING me who I am and what I am thinking... Often in a superior manner. He does it with such authority sometimes that he can even start to convince me for a little while of who I am or what I am thinking. And this - I slowly came to realize as the day went on - was what put such a rain cloud over me. I love B, but I don't want to be somewhere where people have preconceived notions about me. That is why I love traveling so much. You can be whoever you want to be and nobody knows who you have been in the past. I think it is a great way to grow and live. So the thought of moving somewhere fresh and new, but having somebody who is often reminding me of things I've done in the past I am not proud of, or who is telling me what I am thinking based on my thought patterns from two or three years ago is exactly what I do NOT need nor want. I want to go somewhere and have people fall in love with ME for me and not have pent up issues with me that get brought up and make me feel like crawling in a hole and not coming out. Maybe this is idealistic, but I call it a perk of living out of a suitcase. ;)
And so I spent my day going between wondering if he was right about all he'd said and worrying that he wasn't right but he'd still made me second guess myself so strongly that maybe it wasn't even worth it anyway. I ping ponged between wanting to let out a desperate, upset squeal and wanting to find a dark place a cry out my confusion! Add to this the fact I got five hours of sleep and I was spent.
The thought of going to Madrid to meet some new Brazilian was enough to really send me over the edge!!
But I made myself go. (And oh how thankful I am that I did!)
I never want to do anything socially risky because I always think it will just turn out to be lame and a waste of time. My two week couch surfing adventure was like one of those crash courses in Facing Your Fear and, thanks to my amazing experiences, taught me not to be such a pessimistic chicken sh*t. ;) And so, despite being exhausted. Despite having had a bad, yucky day. Despite my questioning of my true love for all things Brazilian. Despite my fear of meeting new people bubbling up. Despite it all, I told myself to suck it up, and if nothing else, it would give me something different to blog about tomorrow.
I walked around Madrid for two and a half hours waiting for our meet up time. I arrived at the bar ten minutes early. I was ready to do this and go home already. As I stood outside, waiting, I sorta hoped he just wasn't going to show up. It was eight minutes past when he texted me, "Hey! I am running late. Hopefully you are one of those girls who always runs behind! Be there in 20 minutes."
Efffffffffffffff. >_<
The great irony was that ANY OTHER day, I would be that girl that rolls in fifteen minutes late. But the one time I get somewhere EARLY, the other person is running behind. I wasn't upset, as I could almost hear karma laughing down at me and realized that of anybody I know, I am the last who should get even a little perturbed about such a thing. Brother!
I thought about ignoring the test, pretending that my phone had died and I waited but finally left. I was just that blah. I was certain even if I did stay, I would be a blob of pure blahness, so really it would be for everyone's good if I just went home.
But Mature Chelsea won and so I wandered the streets of Malasaña for a half hour - which, may I say, turned out to actually be really awesome. I had never been that deep into Malasaña and didn't even know those parts existed! There are so many adorable cases and alternative bars. There was a super chic ballet school, a really cool bike shop, a little chocolate store and a few hip vintage stores. I found a doughnut cafe, a cupcake cafe and a crepe cafe. I found about ten restaurants that were packed that I would love to go to. And the street art was incredible, to boot? It was an entire neighborhood of alternative and awesome nightlife and I was utterly enthralled!! By the time I made my way back to the bar, he had already had half of a beer while waiting for me! Haha.
The bar itself was really adorable. It had cute little black and white drawings on the walls that I wanted mor than anything to color in with bright Crayola markers! The owner of the bar was really nice and fosters rescued animals. This week he had a young black lab named Lucas who was seriously playful. At one point another lady came in with a two month old white puppy who was adorable but feisty. The two dogs played (i.e. tried to kill each other) while the foster parents exchanged doggie stories. :) It was certainly a unique vibe for a bar! ;)
Meanwhile, New Brazilian Friend and I talked and giggled and got to know each other a bit. The best part? It was 90% in Portuguese! I am realllllly slow when I speak, and I know my accent is absurdly American... But gosh darnit, I could. make myself understood and I could understand 95% of what h was telling and asking me! ^_^ This may be overly optimistic, but I dare say my level is decent enough that if I really invest myself in studying and practicing, I dare say I could actually get pretty darned good at this language in the next few months/year. People are so supportive when I try to speak, and they are very patient with me, too. I know they speak slower for me, but that is totally fine with me! I feel like Brazilians are so enchanted by the idea of an American actually learning their language that they're more than happy to help you out with it. When I speak Spanish and mess up I get embarrassed and feel like I am being judged (who knows if there's any truth to my feelings), but I mess up in every sentence I speak in Portuguese, but everyone I've talked to is all smiles and just throws me the word when I get it wrong and asks me to continue my story. It's like an alternate universes with these Brazilian people... :) Hahaha!
Anyway, after two beers and two hours of attempting (and not completely failing) to speak Portuguese, it was time to walk down the street to the club/bar with Forró Thursdays!!
Now, as with the language, I have never formally been taught forró (pronounced: "faux-hoe" haha!). My "learning" of it began three years ago in B's room. :) Mostly, he just lead and I followed, and we were set. It is an incredibly simple dance compared to something like West Coast Swing - and ESPECIALLY compared to a dance like Argentine Tango!! Because of this, the dance is really completely dependent on the guy - on how well he can lead (and, yeah, how well a girl can follow) and how much he can mix it up.
And this is why I love it so much! I don't have to think - in fact, I actually have to attempt to not think at all. I only have to give all my control up and follow whatever the guy does. When I was in my first partner dance class in 12th grade, our teacher had us do an exercise in which we had to close our eyes while following a lead. At first it was rather petrifying! But after practice, it became so relaxing that it almost felt like a form of meditation. Remember playing "Jello" with friends in the backseat of a car, where you all had to be relatively relaxed and fall wherever the car made you fall? That is a little what it feels like. :)
Anyway - we walked all of four blocks to the bar and went inside where they were stamping hands. Next to the stamp and ink pad was a list of names. I peered over at it and there it was - my name right in the middle of it!!
I've never had my name on a list to get into a club before!!!! ^_^
When I walked through those doors, I felt like a walked through a portal, linking Spain to Brazil! Guys were dancing a samba line dance to an amazing live Brazilian band on stage. Bliss. ^_^
We stood in the periphery and he told me (in Portuguese) a little about all the Brazilians there he knew while I nodded along and tried to study the girls' styling. ;) After being there for a few songs, it was time to jump in and hope I didn't make a fool of myself. Ha. I could tell the guy was a little nervous to dance with me - as in, Americans don't exactly have a great reputation when it comes to having rhythm. :) But I was uber confident from the first step and much to my excitement, he was a decidedly great lead! A few minutes into it he exclaimed that I was a really good dancer. I giggled, but he said it a few more times throughout the night. WIN. ;)
At one point during the night I was leaning on a chair, sort of swaying to the music, but not really committing to anything because I was more concerned with watching the other dancers and trying to figure out a rough idea of what the songs were about. He looked over at me doing this and joked, "Don't be so American!" I authentically laughed and stopped my awkward swaying a gawking as best I could, but am pretty sure it did nothing for how American I was looking in that moment. :)
The things is, it doesn't matter how much you travel or how many experiences you have in other languages or with people of other cultures... In the end, you're always just American. You can become bilingual or trilingual or multilingual, but you can never become bicultural or tricultural or multicultural - even when you start to feel that way. :) I actually really like this. Being an American from the get-go, I'm automatically underestimated in many ways because of the stereotypes - some ill-founded, but some disturbingly accurate. ;) Americans are often thought to speak no languages other than English - so when I say I have studied six I immediately become and intriguing anomaly! Americans are thought to be uninterested and uneducated about other cultures - so when I talk about my travels, I become an even larger anomaly. And, of course, Americans are often thought to be awful at dancing - so when I can follow with relative rhythm, guys are pleasantly surprised. ;) Bahaha!
It is just so weird for me, since I clearly identify as an American girl, but my top three loves of travel, language and dance are things that are deemed so UNamerican. This gives me an incredible amount of self confidence when abroad and is one of the reasons I believe I thrive so well when I'm outside of the US. I am truly appreciated for who I am and what I love and am found to be incredibly unique and intriguing, whereas in the US, I mostly just don't fit it with the mainstream, which makes me feel like a sort of mutation rather than a rare specimen. ;-P
Anyway, we danced and danced and danced... It had been years since I'd been to a dance with a guy and I forgot now ridiculously intoxicating it can be! I remember the first time I got the "dance high"; it was in that 12th grade partner dance class (such a better option than gym for your PE credit!!) and a student who had been in the class last year came in to visit and show us some steps. He had been dancing since the class and gotten pretty good at East Coast Swing and our teacher wanted us to have the chance to feel what it was like to dance with a lead who knew what he was doing. I remember I danced with him for the first and only time to a full song on our water break. I had no idea those three minutes would change my life so much! The song began, I offered my hand, and he was off like a racehorse, leading me through tucks and turns and even did an aerial or two! The music was so fast and he was so good that I couldn't stop smiling and giggling. When it was over, I wobbled over to the water fountain, dying of thirst, and remember thinking to myself, completely baffled and blissed out: "That was WAY better than the best make-out session I've ever had!!!"
Hahahaha. ^_^
But really - it's true. To dance with someone who can really, truly lead you... Damn.
Between dances we'd go outside to cool down and talk and let me just say that to be able to switch between three languages with one person is ridiculously cool! :) We didn't end up leaving until 3am, and I didn't end up getting home until 4am! That has got to be the latest I've ever stayed out on a school night! ;) SO worth it!
There was no part of me that expected the night to turn out to be so awesome, but it definitely ranks in the top three most fun nights I've had since I've been back in Madrid! Heck yes to the new and improved adventurous as hell Chelsinha. ;)
XOXO
At all.
In fact, I had been dreading it all day long! From the time I woke up until somewhere between the first and second beer, I felt like I was under that pesky little rain cloud that kept pulling at my little plaid peach shirt and telling me that my grand plan of running off to Brazil was "doido de mais" (really ridiculous) and that I needed to grow up and come up with a Big Girl plan. During our Skype conversation the night before, B had told me that traveling around Brazil with your boyfriend and actually living and working there were completely different things. He told me he felt like I was only going there because I had already tried Portland for Julia and Madrid for L and that he and his country were last choice and that I would be just as disappointed that things had changed there, too, since I was last there two years ago, as I have been with the past two places I lived. He said professionally I wouldn't make that much money and that Brazilian culture wasn't as magical as I've made it out to be from my limited experiences. He said he would love for me to be there, but that it if I was just doing it because he was there, it was a mistake. He threw it in somewhere in there that I hadn't expressed excitement about him considering visiting me in Spain so basically that was the same thing - only it didn't bother him (right!) like his lack of reaction clearly bothers me.
The thing about B is, he has this way of TELLING me who I am and what I am thinking... Often in a superior manner. He does it with such authority sometimes that he can even start to convince me for a little while of who I am or what I am thinking. And this - I slowly came to realize as the day went on - was what put such a rain cloud over me. I love B, but I don't want to be somewhere where people have preconceived notions about me. That is why I love traveling so much. You can be whoever you want to be and nobody knows who you have been in the past. I think it is a great way to grow and live. So the thought of moving somewhere fresh and new, but having somebody who is often reminding me of things I've done in the past I am not proud of, or who is telling me what I am thinking based on my thought patterns from two or three years ago is exactly what I do NOT need nor want. I want to go somewhere and have people fall in love with ME for me and not have pent up issues with me that get brought up and make me feel like crawling in a hole and not coming out. Maybe this is idealistic, but I call it a perk of living out of a suitcase. ;)
And so I spent my day going between wondering if he was right about all he'd said and worrying that he wasn't right but he'd still made me second guess myself so strongly that maybe it wasn't even worth it anyway. I ping ponged between wanting to let out a desperate, upset squeal and wanting to find a dark place a cry out my confusion! Add to this the fact I got five hours of sleep and I was spent.
The thought of going to Madrid to meet some new Brazilian was enough to really send me over the edge!!
But I made myself go. (And oh how thankful I am that I did!)
I never want to do anything socially risky because I always think it will just turn out to be lame and a waste of time. My two week couch surfing adventure was like one of those crash courses in Facing Your Fear and, thanks to my amazing experiences, taught me not to be such a pessimistic chicken sh*t. ;) And so, despite being exhausted. Despite having had a bad, yucky day. Despite my questioning of my true love for all things Brazilian. Despite my fear of meeting new people bubbling up. Despite it all, I told myself to suck it up, and if nothing else, it would give me something different to blog about tomorrow.
I walked around Madrid for two and a half hours waiting for our meet up time. I arrived at the bar ten minutes early. I was ready to do this and go home already. As I stood outside, waiting, I sorta hoped he just wasn't going to show up. It was eight minutes past when he texted me, "Hey! I am running late. Hopefully you are one of those girls who always runs behind! Be there in 20 minutes."
Efffffffffffffff. >_<
The great irony was that ANY OTHER day, I would be that girl that rolls in fifteen minutes late. But the one time I get somewhere EARLY, the other person is running behind. I wasn't upset, as I could almost hear karma laughing down at me and realized that of anybody I know, I am the last who should get even a little perturbed about such a thing. Brother!
I thought about ignoring the test, pretending that my phone had died and I waited but finally left. I was just that blah. I was certain even if I did stay, I would be a blob of pure blahness, so really it would be for everyone's good if I just went home.
But Mature Chelsea won and so I wandered the streets of Malasaña for a half hour - which, may I say, turned out to actually be really awesome. I had never been that deep into Malasaña and didn't even know those parts existed! There are so many adorable cases and alternative bars. There was a super chic ballet school, a really cool bike shop, a little chocolate store and a few hip vintage stores. I found a doughnut cafe, a cupcake cafe and a crepe cafe. I found about ten restaurants that were packed that I would love to go to. And the street art was incredible, to boot? It was an entire neighborhood of alternative and awesome nightlife and I was utterly enthralled!! By the time I made my way back to the bar, he had already had half of a beer while waiting for me! Haha.
The bar itself was really adorable. It had cute little black and white drawings on the walls that I wanted mor than anything to color in with bright Crayola markers! The owner of the bar was really nice and fosters rescued animals. This week he had a young black lab named Lucas who was seriously playful. At one point another lady came in with a two month old white puppy who was adorable but feisty. The two dogs played (i.e. tried to kill each other) while the foster parents exchanged doggie stories. :) It was certainly a unique vibe for a bar! ;)
Meanwhile, New Brazilian Friend and I talked and giggled and got to know each other a bit. The best part? It was 90% in Portuguese! I am realllllly slow when I speak, and I know my accent is absurdly American... But gosh darnit, I could. make myself understood and I could understand 95% of what h was telling and asking me! ^_^ This may be overly optimistic, but I dare say my level is decent enough that if I really invest myself in studying and practicing, I dare say I could actually get pretty darned good at this language in the next few months/year. People are so supportive when I try to speak, and they are very patient with me, too. I know they speak slower for me, but that is totally fine with me! I feel like Brazilians are so enchanted by the idea of an American actually learning their language that they're more than happy to help you out with it. When I speak Spanish and mess up I get embarrassed and feel like I am being judged (who knows if there's any truth to my feelings), but I mess up in every sentence I speak in Portuguese, but everyone I've talked to is all smiles and just throws me the word when I get it wrong and asks me to continue my story. It's like an alternate universes with these Brazilian people... :) Hahaha!
Anyway, after two beers and two hours of attempting (and not completely failing) to speak Portuguese, it was time to walk down the street to the club/bar with Forró Thursdays!!
Now, as with the language, I have never formally been taught forró (pronounced: "faux-hoe" haha!). My "learning" of it began three years ago in B's room. :) Mostly, he just lead and I followed, and we were set. It is an incredibly simple dance compared to something like West Coast Swing - and ESPECIALLY compared to a dance like Argentine Tango!! Because of this, the dance is really completely dependent on the guy - on how well he can lead (and, yeah, how well a girl can follow) and how much he can mix it up.
And this is why I love it so much! I don't have to think - in fact, I actually have to attempt to not think at all. I only have to give all my control up and follow whatever the guy does. When I was in my first partner dance class in 12th grade, our teacher had us do an exercise in which we had to close our eyes while following a lead. At first it was rather petrifying! But after practice, it became so relaxing that it almost felt like a form of meditation. Remember playing "Jello" with friends in the backseat of a car, where you all had to be relatively relaxed and fall wherever the car made you fall? That is a little what it feels like. :)
Anyway - we walked all of four blocks to the bar and went inside where they were stamping hands. Next to the stamp and ink pad was a list of names. I peered over at it and there it was - my name right in the middle of it!!
I've never had my name on a list to get into a club before!!!! ^_^
When I walked through those doors, I felt like a walked through a portal, linking Spain to Brazil! Guys were dancing a samba line dance to an amazing live Brazilian band on stage. Bliss. ^_^
We stood in the periphery and he told me (in Portuguese) a little about all the Brazilians there he knew while I nodded along and tried to study the girls' styling. ;) After being there for a few songs, it was time to jump in and hope I didn't make a fool of myself. Ha. I could tell the guy was a little nervous to dance with me - as in, Americans don't exactly have a great reputation when it comes to having rhythm. :) But I was uber confident from the first step and much to my excitement, he was a decidedly great lead! A few minutes into it he exclaimed that I was a really good dancer. I giggled, but he said it a few more times throughout the night. WIN. ;)
At one point during the night I was leaning on a chair, sort of swaying to the music, but not really committing to anything because I was more concerned with watching the other dancers and trying to figure out a rough idea of what the songs were about. He looked over at me doing this and joked, "Don't be so American!" I authentically laughed and stopped my awkward swaying a gawking as best I could, but am pretty sure it did nothing for how American I was looking in that moment. :)
The things is, it doesn't matter how much you travel or how many experiences you have in other languages or with people of other cultures... In the end, you're always just American. You can become bilingual or trilingual or multilingual, but you can never become bicultural or tricultural or multicultural - even when you start to feel that way. :) I actually really like this. Being an American from the get-go, I'm automatically underestimated in many ways because of the stereotypes - some ill-founded, but some disturbingly accurate. ;) Americans are often thought to speak no languages other than English - so when I say I have studied six I immediately become and intriguing anomaly! Americans are thought to be uninterested and uneducated about other cultures - so when I talk about my travels, I become an even larger anomaly. And, of course, Americans are often thought to be awful at dancing - so when I can follow with relative rhythm, guys are pleasantly surprised. ;) Bahaha!
It is just so weird for me, since I clearly identify as an American girl, but my top three loves of travel, language and dance are things that are deemed so UNamerican. This gives me an incredible amount of self confidence when abroad and is one of the reasons I believe I thrive so well when I'm outside of the US. I am truly appreciated for who I am and what I love and am found to be incredibly unique and intriguing, whereas in the US, I mostly just don't fit it with the mainstream, which makes me feel like a sort of mutation rather than a rare specimen. ;-P
Anyway, we danced and danced and danced... It had been years since I'd been to a dance with a guy and I forgot now ridiculously intoxicating it can be! I remember the first time I got the "dance high"; it was in that 12th grade partner dance class (such a better option than gym for your PE credit!!) and a student who had been in the class last year came in to visit and show us some steps. He had been dancing since the class and gotten pretty good at East Coast Swing and our teacher wanted us to have the chance to feel what it was like to dance with a lead who knew what he was doing. I remember I danced with him for the first and only time to a full song on our water break. I had no idea those three minutes would change my life so much! The song began, I offered my hand, and he was off like a racehorse, leading me through tucks and turns and even did an aerial or two! The music was so fast and he was so good that I couldn't stop smiling and giggling. When it was over, I wobbled over to the water fountain, dying of thirst, and remember thinking to myself, completely baffled and blissed out: "That was WAY better than the best make-out session I've ever had!!!"
Hahahaha. ^_^
But really - it's true. To dance with someone who can really, truly lead you... Damn.
Between dances we'd go outside to cool down and talk and let me just say that to be able to switch between three languages with one person is ridiculously cool! :) We didn't end up leaving until 3am, and I didn't end up getting home until 4am! That has got to be the latest I've ever stayed out on a school night! ;) SO worth it!
There was no part of me that expected the night to turn out to be so awesome, but it definitely ranks in the top three most fun nights I've had since I've been back in Madrid! Heck yes to the new and improved adventurous as hell Chelsinha. ;)
XOXO
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Day 135: Honey Cheese & Wine
After private classes, I went and bought THREE honey goat cheeses. Oh. My. Goodness. I am IN LOVE with honey goat cheese! You get a freshly baked baguette, slice it up, grab a cute little spread knife, and bathe your bread in the soft, sweet cheese of the gods! I continue to thank Rika for her inspirations - and I would have never looked at the cheese aisle and found Mercadona's Best Kept Secret had I not done so!
I did a bit mor grocery shopping before catching the bus back home. In no time I was back in my cozy room, chatting and giggling with Abby and Katie, passing around the bottle of bubbly rose I had just purchased for a whopping €1.69 (total average price of wine here, by the way! In all honestly, roomies and I consider wine over €2.50 to be expensive. The most expensive win you can usually find is around €6. Now you see why I love living in this country!! Haha!). In my last class of the day, a student in my 1st grade class gave me a (rather late) Christmas present - a sampling of fancy chocolates! ^_^ And so, I gave Abby and Katie some chocolate along the the wine, too. :) I absolutely love being at home with those girls, just talking and giggling... Especially when in bring such great refreshments! ;)
Later on in the night I got to Skype B, which made me really happy... At least, at first. I love talking to B and he always makes me giggle. I remember one time, when he was still in Madison, I got upset and told him I was sure that when he went back to Brazil, he would forget all about me and we would never talk. He assured me that would never, ever happen. That friendships have always been extremely important to him. Three years later and we still talk all the time. ^_^ Awesome.
Anyway, at some point I asked him flat out why he didn't seem excited about me considering moving to Brazil. What followed was two hours of slightly intense conversation, which, in the end, left me feeling... Upset? Depressed? Lost? Confused? All off those words are too strong... Because, in reality, it was 3 am when I went to bed finally and half of me was just a sleep walking zombie by that point... Let's just say I felt like I was in a fog of ineffable forlornness.
And this fog followed me like a rain cloud I just couldn't shake the whole next day...
XOXO
I did a bit mor grocery shopping before catching the bus back home. In no time I was back in my cozy room, chatting and giggling with Abby and Katie, passing around the bottle of bubbly rose I had just purchased for a whopping €1.69 (total average price of wine here, by the way! In all honestly, roomies and I consider wine over €2.50 to be expensive. The most expensive win you can usually find is around €6. Now you see why I love living in this country!! Haha!). In my last class of the day, a student in my 1st grade class gave me a (rather late) Christmas present - a sampling of fancy chocolates! ^_^ And so, I gave Abby and Katie some chocolate along the the wine, too. :) I absolutely love being at home with those girls, just talking and giggling... Especially when in bring such great refreshments! ;)
Later on in the night I got to Skype B, which made me really happy... At least, at first. I love talking to B and he always makes me giggle. I remember one time, when he was still in Madison, I got upset and told him I was sure that when he went back to Brazil, he would forget all about me and we would never talk. He assured me that would never, ever happen. That friendships have always been extremely important to him. Three years later and we still talk all the time. ^_^ Awesome.
Anyway, at some point I asked him flat out why he didn't seem excited about me considering moving to Brazil. What followed was two hours of slightly intense conversation, which, in the end, left me feeling... Upset? Depressed? Lost? Confused? All off those words are too strong... Because, in reality, it was 3 am when I went to bed finally and half of me was just a sleep walking zombie by that point... Let's just say I felt like I was in a fog of ineffable forlornness.
And this fog followed me like a rain cloud I just couldn't shake the whole next day...
XOXO
Day 134: Stolen Phone
Nacho and I were having a great time, as usual. I went to check my time on my phone and realized it was missing. I looked everywhere, but it was nowhere to be found! And so I asked him, ¨Did you hide my phone?¨ And he assured me, with a straight face, that he had not. We continued playing and I figured it´d turn up, but a good ten minutes later it was still gone and I was beginning to realize that the little stinker had taken it from me! Finally, he admitted it, but he would not tell me where it was. Finally, I had to go to his mom and ask her to make him tell me! >_< Haha.
When I got it back, I asked him why he took it.
¨Because you always look at the time and then you leave. I don´t want you to leave. If you don´t know what time it is, you cannot leave!¨
^_^ Um, adorable!!! <3
XOXO
When I got it back, I asked him why he took it.
¨Because you always look at the time and then you leave. I don´t want you to leave. If you don´t know what time it is, you cannot leave!¨
^_^ Um, adorable!!! <3
XOXO
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Day 133: Teacher Time
And then I decided to take over and try my hand at being a "real" teacher. Except of course with the 11th graders, 'cuz I am kind of obsessed with a few of them and think they are the most adorable things on this whole continent! I was reading their latest batch of essays and my absolute favorite kept spelling "difference" with one 'f'! At the end of class I wrote the word in big red letters on a sticky note and stuck it to him and told him for the love of all things good in this world to please please please start spelling the word with the appropriate number of 'f's. He giggled, a little embarrassed, and promised it would never happen again.
Some of these students are just so damn adorable I can hardly deal with it... Which I guess is why they are balanced out with the students you just want to throw a box of scissors at. ;) Haha.
Later it was time for the shit show class. Today the teacher did that brilliant thing where she tells me what I am to do while informing the students, " pay attention, Chelsea is going to tell you what you have to do to practice Present Perfect today." I literally had to whisper to her, "Like, 'I have eaten,' right?" Bahahaha. >_<
Happily, I thrive at this style of teaching (I.e. you have two seconds to decide how to teach a group of students something... Ready? Go!), and things went just wonderfully! After lunch is when I have this same horror class for 45 minutes all by myself, but today I decided it was on. I decided I was prepared enough to go in there and be an actual teacher. And so I did. Anyone who spoke Spanish immediately had to write their name on the board. Anyone who interrupted me, as well. Everyone paid attention and ate up my "English Dictionary of Awesomeness" - a guide to basic American English slang - and they loved my idea of an on going game of English Slang bingo! :) I had them giggling and interested the entire 45 minutes and taking the whole class seriously.
My roomies always here my stories from school and tell me what a good teacher I must be and how they would love to see a class of mine and sit in on one, cause they imagine it must be so strange/fun. I always thought I was just flailing, doing the bare minimum and making a fool of myself to get by... But now that I have had time to get used to it all, I am beginning to think they are right. I now have the teachers I work with sitting back and watching my classes and getting the giggles and learning things from what i am teaching! Honestly! Like in my 4th grade class a girl asked me what thunder meant. I looked her in the eye and said, "Thunder? Well... thunder... is like... this..." and all of a sudden I took the text book I was using and threw it as hard as I could on the floor.
XOXO
Some of these students are just so damn adorable I can hardly deal with it... Which I guess is why they are balanced out with the students you just want to throw a box of scissors at. ;) Haha.
Later it was time for the shit show class. Today the teacher did that brilliant thing where she tells me what I am to do while informing the students, " pay attention, Chelsea is going to tell you what you have to do to practice Present Perfect today." I literally had to whisper to her, "Like, 'I have eaten,' right?" Bahahaha. >_<
Happily, I thrive at this style of teaching (I.e. you have two seconds to decide how to teach a group of students something... Ready? Go!), and things went just wonderfully! After lunch is when I have this same horror class for 45 minutes all by myself, but today I decided it was on. I decided I was prepared enough to go in there and be an actual teacher. And so I did. Anyone who spoke Spanish immediately had to write their name on the board. Anyone who interrupted me, as well. Everyone paid attention and ate up my "English Dictionary of Awesomeness" - a guide to basic American English slang - and they loved my idea of an on going game of English Slang bingo! :) I had them giggling and interested the entire 45 minutes and taking the whole class seriously.
My roomies always here my stories from school and tell me what a good teacher I must be and how they would love to see a class of mine and sit in on one, cause they imagine it must be so strange/fun. I always thought I was just flailing, doing the bare minimum and making a fool of myself to get by... But now that I have had time to get used to it all, I am beginning to think they are right. I now have the teachers I work with sitting back and watching my classes and getting the giggles and learning things from what i am teaching! Honestly! Like in my 4th grade class a girl asked me what thunder meant. I looked her in the eye and said, "Thunder? Well... thunder... is like... this..." and all of a sudden I took the text book I was using and threw it as hard as I could on the floor.
XOXO
Day 132: Un rojo atardecer
I woke up in the early afternoon to make melting cake batter and get a little dressed up - I had places to be and people to see! I had been invited earlier on in the week to my Spanish Family's house for Jesus' birthday lunch!! ^_^
I believe I have written a million blog entries about how much I adore my Spanish family and how grateful I am to have them. <3 And, of course, this afternoon was no different. We had our appetizer of vermouth and potato chips, followed by a super yummy lunch, with my melting cakes for dessert (at first they thought it was pudding and tried to serve is as such! oh God! It has four eggs... I think not!) - which we put in cupcake cups and it turned out surprisingly well (melting cake cupcakes... hmmm... may have to try it with frosting... tee hee)! We had our usual tea after lunch and talked and giggled the whole time. They wanted to know all about my trip and told me they'd be stalking me on Facebook, but couldn't understand a word of my English statuses, so had been trying to use Google Translator and mostly look at the pictures - adorable!! :)
After having been abroad abroad (haha) for two weeks and not encountering a single person who spoke English as their native first language combined with understanding a lot and speaking a bit of Portuguese and French (two languages which, though I've studied at one point, I thought for sure I'd become completely useless at), I'd come to realize that all my time wasted on worrying about my Spanish abilities were for naught. Every single person I couch surfed with at one point apologized for their English - some of the people spoke it near perfectly and I had no idea what they were talking about, while others made lots of mistakes, but after a day or two I honestly hardly noticed a single mistake they made because I was completely wrapped up in what they had to say and understood everything they were trying to get across, so I couldn't have given a shit if they used the wrong tense or mispronounced a word. At one point somebody asked me to correct what they'd just said and I'd been so focused on what they were saying that I literally didn't hear a mistake, even though when they repeated it, I'd realized there had been multiple mistakes in the sentence.
These experiences showed me that all my time spent not speaking Spanish because I'm so worried that somebody will judge me if I use imperfect instead of preterite, or if I mispronounce the ceceo, or if I use the wrong pronoun in the wrong place... has been ridiculously wasted. IF somebody has the balls to judge me for a mistake, then they are the losers, not me. Some mistakes are funny because they change the meaning of the sentence, or the accent makes something sound way more adorable than it normally would, but on the whole, a mistake is a mistake and who cares. For me, the people who have the confidence to just start talking at a normal to quick pace are the people I respect. I would respect that person over a person who speaks very slowly, carefully, timidly and, almost, artificially, but makes hardly any mistakes at all. Speaking to somebody who speaks your language as their second language takes a bit of extra work than speaking to a fellow native, and I think that person has the onus to be a bit more patient and open with the person who has given the time and energy to learn their language just to be able to communicate with them. People who judge or make fun of a second language learner who is really trying are the true idiots, not the person giving it their all and putting themselves (linguistically) out there.
And so, I decided to forget about my fears and just start speaking. Throw caution to the wind. Know I'm going to make mistakes and instead of realize it five minutes after I've done it and then fret that the person is probably thinking I'm an idiot for the next half hour... it's far better to say, "Meh. Won't mess THAT one up again!" If I'm not noticing copious amounts of mistakes made by people speaking my language (and I TEACH it every day and am PAID to catch mistakes and correct them), then maybe other people aren't really giving a crap about my mistakes, either. And if they are, I don't want to spend my precious time practicing with them and talking to them anyway. So tehre.
Anyway, I used this general philosophy with my Spanish Family (which is rather silly, I mean they're the only people in the world who I feel 100% comfortable speaking Spanish around... if I make a mistake I either make a funny eyebrow face and they correct it for me, or I just keep going and they know what I said and really don't give a rat's a** anyway, 'cause they're genuinely interested in what I'm saying). I spoke at a speed about 1.5X what I usually speak with them (which is something like 2 or 3X what I speak with others) in Spanish and had a great time!! I was surprised how fluent I sounded to myself and I KNOW I impressed the new girl living with them. ;) Hell yes.
After a wonderful afternoon spent with my Spanish Fam (and feeling on the top of the world when it came to my Spanish!!), I walked home to take a nice half hour to myself to listen to music and just bask in gratitude. :) I love that feeling!! The walk from my Spanish Fam's house into town has always been my time to just be, and I absolutely adore it. <3
As I was walking, already beaming with a sense of bliss, I noticed the sunset.
Now, Spain - as far as I know - is not big on gorgeous sunsets. Certainly not in the winter, anyway, from what I've seen. But tonight's? It was ineffably majestic. The red was so striking and bright and warm - it was absolutely breathtaking. A few hairs stood on end, I got a chill and a tear may or may not have came to my eye. It was THAT amazing. I tried to take a picture, but my camera phone was unable to do it the slightest amount of justice.
I walked on, looking at it when the buildings would subside along my journey, and then it hit me:
"Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer."
THAT was the song I was listening to on repeat on the walk home. It was all just too perfect. I giggled and looked up, like I do at grand moments of seeming serendipity like these, and thanked him. I told him all my faith is still in him and I am ready for whatever he conjures up next, because I know it will be amazing.
<3
When I got home, Abby was ready to go on our mini trip to the big supermarket a town over. She bought a juicer (something she's been wanting for forever and we were able to find at a really good price!) and I bought really yummy Chai tea (couch surfing finally turned me on to the whole tea thing - haha). After we took our sweet time purusing all the aisles and talking and giggling, Abby pointed out that it was Sunday and 100 Montaditos was still open in the mall. Sunday at 100 Montaditos (a chain of tapas restaurants) means that everything - a big mug of beer, tapas, etc. - is one euro. :oD WIN.
We had two tapas and a giant beer and continued our lovely night out with long conversations and lots of giggling. :) Perfect roomie night out. <3 I heart her so much and I'm so happy to be back home with her!!
XOXO
I believe I have written a million blog entries about how much I adore my Spanish family and how grateful I am to have them. <3 And, of course, this afternoon was no different. We had our appetizer of vermouth and potato chips, followed by a super yummy lunch, with my melting cakes for dessert (at first they thought it was pudding and tried to serve is as such! oh God! It has four eggs... I think not!) - which we put in cupcake cups and it turned out surprisingly well (melting cake cupcakes... hmmm... may have to try it with frosting... tee hee)! We had our usual tea after lunch and talked and giggled the whole time. They wanted to know all about my trip and told me they'd be stalking me on Facebook, but couldn't understand a word of my English statuses, so had been trying to use Google Translator and mostly look at the pictures - adorable!! :)
After having been abroad abroad (haha) for two weeks and not encountering a single person who spoke English as their native first language combined with understanding a lot and speaking a bit of Portuguese and French (two languages which, though I've studied at one point, I thought for sure I'd become completely useless at), I'd come to realize that all my time wasted on worrying about my Spanish abilities were for naught. Every single person I couch surfed with at one point apologized for their English - some of the people spoke it near perfectly and I had no idea what they were talking about, while others made lots of mistakes, but after a day or two I honestly hardly noticed a single mistake they made because I was completely wrapped up in what they had to say and understood everything they were trying to get across, so I couldn't have given a shit if they used the wrong tense or mispronounced a word. At one point somebody asked me to correct what they'd just said and I'd been so focused on what they were saying that I literally didn't hear a mistake, even though when they repeated it, I'd realized there had been multiple mistakes in the sentence.
These experiences showed me that all my time spent not speaking Spanish because I'm so worried that somebody will judge me if I use imperfect instead of preterite, or if I mispronounce the ceceo, or if I use the wrong pronoun in the wrong place... has been ridiculously wasted. IF somebody has the balls to judge me for a mistake, then they are the losers, not me. Some mistakes are funny because they change the meaning of the sentence, or the accent makes something sound way more adorable than it normally would, but on the whole, a mistake is a mistake and who cares. For me, the people who have the confidence to just start talking at a normal to quick pace are the people I respect. I would respect that person over a person who speaks very slowly, carefully, timidly and, almost, artificially, but makes hardly any mistakes at all. Speaking to somebody who speaks your language as their second language takes a bit of extra work than speaking to a fellow native, and I think that person has the onus to be a bit more patient and open with the person who has given the time and energy to learn their language just to be able to communicate with them. People who judge or make fun of a second language learner who is really trying are the true idiots, not the person giving it their all and putting themselves (linguistically) out there.
And so, I decided to forget about my fears and just start speaking. Throw caution to the wind. Know I'm going to make mistakes and instead of realize it five minutes after I've done it and then fret that the person is probably thinking I'm an idiot for the next half hour... it's far better to say, "Meh. Won't mess THAT one up again!" If I'm not noticing copious amounts of mistakes made by people speaking my language (and I TEACH it every day and am PAID to catch mistakes and correct them), then maybe other people aren't really giving a crap about my mistakes, either. And if they are, I don't want to spend my precious time practicing with them and talking to them anyway. So tehre.
Anyway, I used this general philosophy with my Spanish Family (which is rather silly, I mean they're the only people in the world who I feel 100% comfortable speaking Spanish around... if I make a mistake I either make a funny eyebrow face and they correct it for me, or I just keep going and they know what I said and really don't give a rat's a** anyway, 'cause they're genuinely interested in what I'm saying). I spoke at a speed about 1.5X what I usually speak with them (which is something like 2 or 3X what I speak with others) in Spanish and had a great time!! I was surprised how fluent I sounded to myself and I KNOW I impressed the new girl living with them. ;) Hell yes.
After a wonderful afternoon spent with my Spanish Fam (and feeling on the top of the world when it came to my Spanish!!), I walked home to take a nice half hour to myself to listen to music and just bask in gratitude. :) I love that feeling!! The walk from my Spanish Fam's house into town has always been my time to just be, and I absolutely adore it. <3
As I was walking, already beaming with a sense of bliss, I noticed the sunset.
Now, Spain - as far as I know - is not big on gorgeous sunsets. Certainly not in the winter, anyway, from what I've seen. But tonight's? It was ineffably majestic. The red was so striking and bright and warm - it was absolutely breathtaking. A few hairs stood on end, I got a chill and a tear may or may not have came to my eye. It was THAT amazing. I tried to take a picture, but my camera phone was unable to do it the slightest amount of justice.
I walked on, looking at it when the buildings would subside along my journey, and then it hit me:
"Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer."
THAT was the song I was listening to on repeat on the walk home. It was all just too perfect. I giggled and looked up, like I do at grand moments of seeming serendipity like these, and thanked him. I told him all my faith is still in him and I am ready for whatever he conjures up next, because I know it will be amazing.
<3
When I got home, Abby was ready to go on our mini trip to the big supermarket a town over. She bought a juicer (something she's been wanting for forever and we were able to find at a really good price!) and I bought really yummy Chai tea (couch surfing finally turned me on to the whole tea thing - haha). After we took our sweet time purusing all the aisles and talking and giggling, Abby pointed out that it was Sunday and 100 Montaditos was still open in the mall. Sunday at 100 Montaditos (a chain of tapas restaurants) means that everything - a big mug of beer, tapas, etc. - is one euro. :oD WIN.
We had two tapas and a giant beer and continued our lovely night out with long conversations and lots of giggling. :) Perfect roomie night out. <3 I heart her so much and I'm so happy to be back home with her!!
XOXO
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Day 130: Back to Class
Aaand classes at the university have begun again, which means 15 hours today and tomorrow, then 15 hours next weekend, too. I don't know where they find the people to waste 14 hours so impressively well, but they seem to have no problem doing so. Today we had "class" for five hours. In that amount of time we:
Filled out bank information on ONE sheet of paper= 30 minutes
Introduced ourselves = 1 hour
Teacher spoke about a two page syllabus we'd all already read = 45 minutes
BREAK = 30 minutes
Write down our personal experiences with learning foreign languages at school, at home or through immersion = 30 minutes
Talk about it with three other people = 30 minutes
Talk about it with the whole class = 30 minutes
Get into groups based on what ages we teach and talk about our recent teaching experiences = 30 minutes
Aaaaand that was about it. LITERALLY learned nothing. Having been a sort-of-pretend-teacher for the past four months, I cannot imagine these people writing their rough lesson plan out and thinking to themselves that it has any value in it whatsoever. You're supposed to write a lesson plan with the phrase, "By the end of this class, students will be able to..." and there is literally nothing I am able to do that I couldn't have learned while sleeping in my cozy bed at home. Who would have guessed so much of teaching is BSing - and BSing poorly. Something this lame would never have flew at a Speech and Debate event! That's all I can keep thinking...
But I'm not really so frustrated about it at this point - more amused. I'm still getting the title of a Master's Degree from the University of Alcala - Madrid, Spain... whether I learn a single thing or not! ;)
XOXO
Filled out bank information on ONE sheet of paper= 30 minutes
Introduced ourselves = 1 hour
Teacher spoke about a two page syllabus we'd all already read = 45 minutes
BREAK = 30 minutes
Write down our personal experiences with learning foreign languages at school, at home or through immersion = 30 minutes
Talk about it with three other people = 30 minutes
Talk about it with the whole class = 30 minutes
Get into groups based on what ages we teach and talk about our recent teaching experiences = 30 minutes
Aaaaand that was about it. LITERALLY learned nothing. Having been a sort-of-pretend-teacher for the past four months, I cannot imagine these people writing their rough lesson plan out and thinking to themselves that it has any value in it whatsoever. You're supposed to write a lesson plan with the phrase, "By the end of this class, students will be able to..." and there is literally nothing I am able to do that I couldn't have learned while sleeping in my cozy bed at home. Who would have guessed so much of teaching is BSing - and BSing poorly. Something this lame would never have flew at a Speech and Debate event! That's all I can keep thinking...
But I'm not really so frustrated about it at this point - more amused. I'm still getting the title of a Master's Degree from the University of Alcala - Madrid, Spain... whether I learn a single thing or not! ;)
XOXO
Day 129: Invisible Friends
You know what I missed while I was traveling? Being in my own bed, under my super fuzzy blanky, cuddling Wellington after having a late night conversation with Abby. THAT is what I missed.
Tonight's epic conversation went on and on and made me giggle (spaghetti in you ear!?) and giggle. The cutest part of it was when she started telling me about her invisible friend when she was younger. :) I feel like you really are comfortable and good friends with somebody when you can tell each other about your invisible friends. ^_^
My day over all was good - after school playtime class with Nacho was great because I adore him and stayed a half hour later just to keep hanging out with him and giggling (we played the game Operation and between the two of us realized it was more fun to give the guy private parts and make him poo than to actually put his organs back in and play the game like a normal person... we also played Hungry Hungry Hippos - amazing). After that I met a guy in Madrid for a conversation exchange, which was fine, but nothing to exciting. I'm talking to one of my favorite teachers at school about doing a conversation exchange together every week over a few beers and tapas, and I'm pretty sure I'd have a way better time with him than I've had meeting these random people!
XOXO
Tonight's epic conversation went on and on and made me giggle (spaghetti in you ear!?) and giggle. The cutest part of it was when she started telling me about her invisible friend when she was younger. :) I feel like you really are comfortable and good friends with somebody when you can tell each other about your invisible friends. ^_^
My day over all was good - after school playtime class with Nacho was great because I adore him and stayed a half hour later just to keep hanging out with him and giggling (we played the game Operation and between the two of us realized it was more fun to give the guy private parts and make him poo than to actually put his organs back in and play the game like a normal person... we also played Hungry Hungry Hippos - amazing). After that I met a guy in Madrid for a conversation exchange, which was fine, but nothing to exciting. I'm talking to one of my favorite teachers at school about doing a conversation exchange together every week over a few beers and tapas, and I'm pretty sure I'd have a way better time with him than I've had meeting these random people!
XOXO
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Day 128: Es Por Ti
*I have 16 posts to write from my trip -
which I will begin work on tomorrow. I have taken careful notes every
day of my journey, but now it's all about writing each entry. This is
sure to take me at least a week, as everyday boring entries often take
me 45 min. minumum... SO, I will resume my blog as normal starting today
(so that I don't become RIDICULOUSLY too far behind), but I will be
posting about my trip each day, too. I'll write in my post each day
which days I updated from my trip, too! :)*
I am honestly of the belief that
whatever song I listen to on repeat makes it way into my “vibrational
field” and I attract whatever it is I sing about. It works for
songs that are about positive things, as well as songs that are about
negative things – which is really too bad, because sometimes I just
really find a particular sad song really calming and nice, but I get
nervous to listen to it too much, lest I attract it into my life.
Since I realized the possible
connection, I've been careful to only play songs that have no direct
message in them. Seriously. I've been hoping to find a song that
sings about exactly what I want, but I'd been hoping for that for
months.
And so when I was at the grocery store
today and started humming along to a Spanish song I'd learned the
lyrics to in 9th grade, I thought nothing of it, until I
started really listening and it hit me:
This song is PERFECT!!!
It's Juanes' “Es por ti,” which is
a song about loving and adoring a girl with all his heart. It's so
cute and adorable...! <3 And, yeah, cheesy and gushy, too... but the right sentiment is there, all the same. :)
While
I was visiting my distant family in Brussels at Everix Bakery, the guy
said to me, "You're one of those people who, when they want something,
just goes after it until they get it, aren't you?"
I
smiled. I'd known the man for two hours and already he'd been able to
sum me up quite succinctly! Why yes, that is exactly who I am and what I
love so much about myself! Thanks for noticing, Nico. :oP
Listening
to music is just one more extension of the whole visualization process
for me. And so, I made it one of my "New Year's Resolutions" to get more
in touch with my musical side and discover my musical preferences. I
want to make music more a part of my life and my visualization process.
And this song is the perfect starting point to do just that!
Y veo que a mi lado estás y me siento renovado (And I see you next to me, I feel renewed)
Me siento aniquilado aniquilado si no estás (And I feel awful if you're not there)
Tu controlas toda mi verdad y todo lo que está de más (You control my whole truth and everything else)
Tus ojos me llevan lentamente al sol (Your eyes slowly lead me to the sun)
Y tu boca me habla del amor y el corazón (And your mouth talks to me about love and your heart)
Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer (Your skin is the color of a red sunset)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que late mi corazón (That my heart beats)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que brillan mis ojos hoy (That my eyes are sparkling today)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que he vuelto a hablar de amor (That I've began to talk about love again)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que calma mi dolor (That my pain subsides)
Y cada vez que yo te busco (And every time I look for you)
Y no te puedo aún hallar (I can't even find you)
Me siento un vagabundo (I feel like a vagabond)
Perdido por el mundo (Lost in the world)
Desordenado si no estás (Disoriented when you're not there)
Como mueves tú mi felicidad (How you influence my happiness)
Y todo lo que está de más (And what's more is)
Tus ojos me llevan lentamente al sol (Your eyes lead me slowly to the sun)
Y tu boca me habla del amor y el corazón (And your mouth talke to me about love and your heart)
Tu piel tiene el color de un rojo atardecer (Your skin is the color of a red sunset)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que late mi corazón (That my heart beats)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que brillan mis ojos hoy (That my eyes are sparkling today)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que he vuelto a hablar de amor (That I've began to talk about love again)
Y es por ti (And it's because of you)
Que calma mi dolor (That my pain subsides)"
XOXO
Day 126 - Brussels (Everix Bakery!)
January 7th, 2013
I had planned on waking up early to go into town and explore on my own, but unsurprisingly, that didn't so much happen... Haha. The thought of having to repack my tiny strawberry suitcase combined with the thought that I would have to wake up by 8am for the next five days was enough to keep me curled up in bed for as long as possible! I had told Laurelia I would be up at nine. When I finally was up, ready and packed, it was eleven... And she was still asleep herself! She had told me that she was an insomniac and didn't really sleep well that weekend, so the thought of waking her up just to say bye felt so wrong. Instead, I wrote a cute thank you note and drew a giraffe. I felt a little guilty for not saying goodbye in person, but I know how amazing sleeping in is - especially after a few sleepless nights.
The other thing about not waking her up was that I had no idea how to get into town. None. I had two hours to get there, explore, eat, buy my train ticket and get on the train. But then, I am always one for adventure. ;) I started walking in the general direction of what I assumed was towards the city and found a bus stop. I took the first bus that came and the driver told me which bus to transfer to and where. Of course, I never asked where to get off that second bus and ended up getting off two or three stops before I was supposed to. I aimlessly wandered the streets with my giant duffel bag, four jackets (which were now in a shopping bag, thanks to an older, French speaking lady who gave it to me on the bus when she saw how much i was trying to carry most unsuccessfully!) and purse until I finally found a metro!
Ten minutes later, I was finally in the city center. I looked up my train trip and bought my ticket then was off to explore for all of 45 minutes. The first and most important thing i had to do was take a picture with Dulcinea in front of the oh-so-important Manikin Pis (literally, this is the statue that Brussels is famous for - it is a statue and fountain of a boy perhaps a foot and a half tall who is peeing water into a little basin... O_o).
I also got some last minute souvies for people and had a final Belgian Waffle (yummmmmmmmmy)! And then all of a sudden it was already time to go back to the train station.
Now, I consider myself fairly proficient when it comes to public
transportation in foreign countries and foreign languages... But you
would never know from what was about to happen. See, the first issue
is that European rail systems never seem to feel the need to provide
passengers with any sort of maps of the stops. In fact, you are lucky
if the screen in the train flashes the upcoming stops more than once
every ten minutes. And so, I was rather blindly going in the general
correct direction, with the only bit of helpful information being the
fact that I knew I had to catch the second train at 2:23 pm, meaning
I would most likely have to get off the current train a little before
that. And so, by 2:25, it was becoming pretty apparent that I
had missed my stop - or, more accurately put, the stop I was supposed
to have gotten off at had a different name from the stop the "Plan
Your Journey" kiosk had given me.
Eff.
I got off at the next stop I could after the train changed its final destination information on the screen and I'd realized that I was SOL. Of course this station was in the middle of nowhere and all I could do was figure out how to cross the tracks (this was a surprisingly huge challenge, as there weren't any bridges and the tracks were too far down to safely cross them on foot and be able to climb back up with three bags in tow - finally I found a highway bridge down the road to cross over... Brother!), and wait for the next train going back in the other direction. The only cool part of the whole thing was a yarn-bombed sign! :)
By this point, it was now 2:30 - the time at which Nico and I had planned on meeting at the Beveren - Waas station. I had no working cell phone... Heck, I didn't even know if I had his number (magically, I did). Thinking back to the stations I had passed, I could figure out which one was most likely the one I was supposed to have gotten off at to change trains, but it was pretty small. Now the question became this: Do I get off at the big, Central Antwerp station in order to hopefully find a pay phone to try and call him? OR Do I go to the following station and catch the next train - whenever that would be - and hope either Nico would still be there waiting or I could ask someone to borrow their phone or ask for directions to the bakery.
I went for the first choice, and after a fifteen minute search for a pay phone, a ten minute search for where to buy a phone card to use it, and an exchange with a guy all in French helping him figure it all out, too, I finally called Nico, only to get his voicemail.
>_<
I left a message, telling him I had gotten a bit lost but would hopefully be in Beveren - Waas at 3:30 pm. And then I was off again, hoping he'd get the message and I wouldn't arrive at the station only to find myself all alone and in the middle of nowhere (not that this hadn't happened to be before on this trip and I still survived... I just was sort of over the whole enigmatic adventure thing after 16 days and while weighed down by all my luggage. At least the station I stopped at to catch the second train had really cool graffiti. :)
I managed to catch all the trains in a timely manner and was in Beveren - Waas in no time. Nico had told me in an email to look for a guy in a Harley Davidson jacket. To me, a girl who has lived in Wisconsin - home of the Harley - I was expecting a biker guy with a big grey mustache, big red nose, slicked back pony tail, dark plastic glasses and a leather riding jacket. I hobbled down the platform, feeling a bit disheartened that the only guy who seemed to be in a quarter of a mile radius of that station was a normal looking, 40 guy in a little black fleece. I walked passed him and smiled, and then I saw it. On that little black fleece were tiny orange letters that humbly read, "Harley Davidson."
^_^ Yay!!
"Nico?" I asked. He smiled and said hello. I hadn't known how much English he spoke, as his emails had been in rather broken English and I didn't know if they were a reflection of his oral proficiency, if he'd Google Translated them, or if he spoke well but just wasn't a big writer. And so I was relieved when he said, "I was looking for a girl with black glasses with diamonds, but you are not wearing your glasses like you told me you would! Haha!"
Phew!
He immediately took my bags for me (relief!) and we climbed in is Mercedes to head to the bakery (which, as it turned out, seems to also be their house in the back). While normally getting in a random 42 year old man's car after knowing him for two minutes would be a rather fishy, after this whole trip, it really seemed like the most normal thing I had done in awhile! Haha!!
The bakery wasn't far away at all and as soon as we pulled up to it, I am pretty sure I squealed! ^_^ How amazing to realize I was at Everix Bakery - my family's bakery- in it's original country... in Belgium!!! Every once in awhile when I travel, I have a moment when a map seems to pop open inside my brain and little pins are dropped where I am from and where I am, and I have a brief epiphany of just how crazy/awesome my life is in that moment. Standing outside of that bakery, gazing up at that sign (with my middle name in it!), I had one of those surreal moments. I mean really! What if I am the only Everix to have returned to the "motherland" since some of the Everixes moved to the US 200 years ago!? What if I am the only Everix to have seen an Everix Bakery in American AND in Belgium!? Thinking about it now, I wonder if there were any ancestors looking down and thinking, "Wow! How cool! Welcome back!" :-P
Nico showed me all around the bakery (which was considerably smaller than the bakery in Fond du Lac, from what I remember of it) and introduced me to his wife and one of his daughters. He showed me family genealogy information he'd received (including an old bakery bag from the Wisconsin bakery over a decade ago!) and we read through a rough family timeline together. According to the document, the first recorded Everix (or, rather, Evericks, I think it was??) was an abandoned baby found at the turn of the 19th century on a bridge over the Seine River in Paris! Aww!
He asked me to show him pictures on Google of where I come from in the US, and asked me where the Harley Davidson Museum is (he was beyond excited when I informed him it's an hour away from where Everix Bakery was in Wisconsin - haha). He gave me a bakery fresh croissant with a sausage inside (apparently it was a traditional food for some holiday that they had just had there) for a late lunch and was most amused when I informed him that in America we call that "Pigs in a Blanket." :) I took lots of pictures (and some with Dulcinea, which the three of the found incredibly strange, but ultimately became enchanted by and the daughter even took a picture of my stuffed crocheted cupcake on her own phone - haha). I especially liked putting her on a bakery bag from Wisconsin's bakery and one from Belgian's bakery and taking a photo. Haha. I also found out that none of them had ever eaten a cupcake! Imagine! A family of bakers and not one experience with a cupcake! It seems almost sacrilegious! ;)
In our email conversations, Nico had told me that he would take me to the airport after our visit. What he didn't anticipate was that I would be flying out of the discount airline airport, which, instead of being a half hour away from his house turned out to be almost two and a half hours away (when you calculate in getting a little lost despite the GPS a few times... Haha)!! >_< When we discovered this, I told him I was happy to take a train there, but he insisted on driving me. Right before we left we got a photo together. :)
We talked a bit on the car ride there, and he got me dinner and a beer when we finally arrived at the airport. :) When it was time for me to go to the gate, he said it was really nice to meet me and that he would be in touch and mail be two books a guy in Antwerp had written about the history of the Everix family! :) Cool!
And so, it was alas time to board my last flight of my amazing journey. Maybe this should have been a bittersweet moment for me, full of reflection and the beginnings of "saudade," but jeeze louise I had much more pressing issues to deal with: like the baggage limitations of Ryanair. See, the first two flights I had taken were with Ryanair and things were just fine (I hadn't exactly had time to shop when I was in Dublin... tee hee), but from London and Amsterdam, I had flown with normal companies and had not had to worry about crazy baggage restrictions (which was a serious relief considering the adorable, larger purse I bought in London). But this last flight was back to the rule of only one small bag and nothing more - no purses, no jackets on your arm, etc. Originally I thought I could hide my purse under my five layers of sweaters, hoodies and jackets, but when I put everything on, I quickly realized I looked like an extreme version of Quasimodo! >_< This wasn't going to fool anyone...
And so I got in line to board, realizing I had about three minutes to come up with highly clever solution or pay the fine of €75+ and have to check my duffel. I scanned the fellow passengers in line and zeroed in on a guy with a duffel that clearly had a little room in it. Without thinking, I summoned all the ballsiness I had marched right up to the guy and asked, "Excuse me - do you speak English?" The guy, who was around my age, removed his headphones and replied with a bit of confusion, "Yeah..." "Awesome! Do you think I could pay you to try to fit my purse into your bag!?" The guy looked at me slightly incredulously, and then said, "I can try to fit it in here, but I was having the same problem... 'cuz it needs to fit in that box the make you put your box in." Sure enough, my purse fit in his bag perfectly, but when we got to the front of the line, they made him cram his bag in their metallic box to prove it would fit. I told him to run when the lady wasn't looking, but he kept at it. It took him a minute or two, but at last he made it fit and they told him he could board!
We walked a little ways down the hall and then he removed my bag and handed it to me. "Oh my God! You are so badass! Seriously, how much do you want, cuz you just saved me so much money!" He just smiled at me and said, "Oh no - no problem. Ryanair totally tries to screw people out of their money and it's not right. Glad I could help." And just like that, he was off.
Awesome!!!
On the flight home I wrote a reflection blog (which then got lost - rawr), which occupied me all the way until the announcement came on in Spanish (!!!) that we would soon be landing in Madrid. I immediately squealed. The guy sitting next to me stared at me. I hadn't realized how happy I would be to be home until I was ten minutes away!!
When I got off that final plane I did a little jig. I skipped all the way to the metro (a system of public transportation I am familiar with!? BLISS!!). I laid on my bag and didn't give the tiniest crap what anybody thought, because I was back home and I could once again feel free to be me and do as I please. ;) I got to the night but just in time and tralalaed all the way home. And when I turned onto my street and walked up to my front door, I was bursting with excitement. I literally almost shed a tear I was so happy to be back. I really hadn't missed it for a second while I was away, but now that I was back, I was so very, very grateful. <3 When I travel, I travel as an American, so to be able to go home and still be in Europe is an amazing feeling. :)
When I got inside everyone was asleep (by this point it was around 2:00am), but Abby had left me the sweetest welcome home note on my desk! ^_^ It made me feel not so insane to be so excited to be home again. <3
XOXO
I had planned on waking up early to go into town and explore on my own, but unsurprisingly, that didn't so much happen... Haha. The thought of having to repack my tiny strawberry suitcase combined with the thought that I would have to wake up by 8am for the next five days was enough to keep me curled up in bed for as long as possible! I had told Laurelia I would be up at nine. When I finally was up, ready and packed, it was eleven... And she was still asleep herself! She had told me that she was an insomniac and didn't really sleep well that weekend, so the thought of waking her up just to say bye felt so wrong. Instead, I wrote a cute thank you note and drew a giraffe. I felt a little guilty for not saying goodbye in person, but I know how amazing sleeping in is - especially after a few sleepless nights.
The other thing about not waking her up was that I had no idea how to get into town. None. I had two hours to get there, explore, eat, buy my train ticket and get on the train. But then, I am always one for adventure. ;) I started walking in the general direction of what I assumed was towards the city and found a bus stop. I took the first bus that came and the driver told me which bus to transfer to and where. Of course, I never asked where to get off that second bus and ended up getting off two or three stops before I was supposed to. I aimlessly wandered the streets with my giant duffel bag, four jackets (which were now in a shopping bag, thanks to an older, French speaking lady who gave it to me on the bus when she saw how much i was trying to carry most unsuccessfully!) and purse until I finally found a metro!
Ten minutes later, I was finally in the city center. I looked up my train trip and bought my ticket then was off to explore for all of 45 minutes. The first and most important thing i had to do was take a picture with Dulcinea in front of the oh-so-important Manikin Pis (literally, this is the statue that Brussels is famous for - it is a statue and fountain of a boy perhaps a foot and a half tall who is peeing water into a little basin... O_o).
I also got some last minute souvies for people and had a final Belgian Waffle (yummmmmmmmmy)! And then all of a sudden it was already time to go back to the train station.
Eff.
I got off at the next stop I could after the train changed its final destination information on the screen and I'd realized that I was SOL. Of course this station was in the middle of nowhere and all I could do was figure out how to cross the tracks (this was a surprisingly huge challenge, as there weren't any bridges and the tracks were too far down to safely cross them on foot and be able to climb back up with three bags in tow - finally I found a highway bridge down the road to cross over... Brother!), and wait for the next train going back in the other direction. The only cool part of the whole thing was a yarn-bombed sign! :)
By this point, it was now 2:30 - the time at which Nico and I had planned on meeting at the Beveren - Waas station. I had no working cell phone... Heck, I didn't even know if I had his number (magically, I did). Thinking back to the stations I had passed, I could figure out which one was most likely the one I was supposed to have gotten off at to change trains, but it was pretty small. Now the question became this: Do I get off at the big, Central Antwerp station in order to hopefully find a pay phone to try and call him? OR Do I go to the following station and catch the next train - whenever that would be - and hope either Nico would still be there waiting or I could ask someone to borrow their phone or ask for directions to the bakery.
I went for the first choice, and after a fifteen minute search for a pay phone, a ten minute search for where to buy a phone card to use it, and an exchange with a guy all in French helping him figure it all out, too, I finally called Nico, only to get his voicemail.
>_<
I left a message, telling him I had gotten a bit lost but would hopefully be in Beveren - Waas at 3:30 pm. And then I was off again, hoping he'd get the message and I wouldn't arrive at the station only to find myself all alone and in the middle of nowhere (not that this hadn't happened to be before on this trip and I still survived... I just was sort of over the whole enigmatic adventure thing after 16 days and while weighed down by all my luggage. At least the station I stopped at to catch the second train had really cool graffiti. :)
I managed to catch all the trains in a timely manner and was in Beveren - Waas in no time. Nico had told me in an email to look for a guy in a Harley Davidson jacket. To me, a girl who has lived in Wisconsin - home of the Harley - I was expecting a biker guy with a big grey mustache, big red nose, slicked back pony tail, dark plastic glasses and a leather riding jacket. I hobbled down the platform, feeling a bit disheartened that the only guy who seemed to be in a quarter of a mile radius of that station was a normal looking, 40 guy in a little black fleece. I walked passed him and smiled, and then I saw it. On that little black fleece were tiny orange letters that humbly read, "Harley Davidson."
^_^ Yay!!
"Nico?" I asked. He smiled and said hello. I hadn't known how much English he spoke, as his emails had been in rather broken English and I didn't know if they were a reflection of his oral proficiency, if he'd Google Translated them, or if he spoke well but just wasn't a big writer. And so I was relieved when he said, "I was looking for a girl with black glasses with diamonds, but you are not wearing your glasses like you told me you would! Haha!"
Phew!
He immediately took my bags for me (relief!) and we climbed in is Mercedes to head to the bakery (which, as it turned out, seems to also be their house in the back). While normally getting in a random 42 year old man's car after knowing him for two minutes would be a rather fishy, after this whole trip, it really seemed like the most normal thing I had done in awhile! Haha!!
The bakery wasn't far away at all and as soon as we pulled up to it, I am pretty sure I squealed! ^_^ How amazing to realize I was at Everix Bakery - my family's bakery- in it's original country... in Belgium!!! Every once in awhile when I travel, I have a moment when a map seems to pop open inside my brain and little pins are dropped where I am from and where I am, and I have a brief epiphany of just how crazy/awesome my life is in that moment. Standing outside of that bakery, gazing up at that sign (with my middle name in it!), I had one of those surreal moments. I mean really! What if I am the only Everix to have returned to the "motherland" since some of the Everixes moved to the US 200 years ago!? What if I am the only Everix to have seen an Everix Bakery in American AND in Belgium!? Thinking about it now, I wonder if there were any ancestors looking down and thinking, "Wow! How cool! Welcome back!" :-P
Nico showed me all around the bakery (which was considerably smaller than the bakery in Fond du Lac, from what I remember of it) and introduced me to his wife and one of his daughters. He showed me family genealogy information he'd received (including an old bakery bag from the Wisconsin bakery over a decade ago!) and we read through a rough family timeline together. According to the document, the first recorded Everix (or, rather, Evericks, I think it was??) was an abandoned baby found at the turn of the 19th century on a bridge over the Seine River in Paris! Aww!
He asked me to show him pictures on Google of where I come from in the US, and asked me where the Harley Davidson Museum is (he was beyond excited when I informed him it's an hour away from where Everix Bakery was in Wisconsin - haha). He gave me a bakery fresh croissant with a sausage inside (apparently it was a traditional food for some holiday that they had just had there) for a late lunch and was most amused when I informed him that in America we call that "Pigs in a Blanket." :) I took lots of pictures (and some with Dulcinea, which the three of the found incredibly strange, but ultimately became enchanted by and the daughter even took a picture of my stuffed crocheted cupcake on her own phone - haha). I especially liked putting her on a bakery bag from Wisconsin's bakery and one from Belgian's bakery and taking a photo. Haha. I also found out that none of them had ever eaten a cupcake! Imagine! A family of bakers and not one experience with a cupcake! It seems almost sacrilegious! ;)
In our email conversations, Nico had told me that he would take me to the airport after our visit. What he didn't anticipate was that I would be flying out of the discount airline airport, which, instead of being a half hour away from his house turned out to be almost two and a half hours away (when you calculate in getting a little lost despite the GPS a few times... Haha)!! >_< When we discovered this, I told him I was happy to take a train there, but he insisted on driving me. Right before we left we got a photo together. :)
We talked a bit on the car ride there, and he got me dinner and a beer when we finally arrived at the airport. :) When it was time for me to go to the gate, he said it was really nice to meet me and that he would be in touch and mail be two books a guy in Antwerp had written about the history of the Everix family! :) Cool!
And so, it was alas time to board my last flight of my amazing journey. Maybe this should have been a bittersweet moment for me, full of reflection and the beginnings of "saudade," but jeeze louise I had much more pressing issues to deal with: like the baggage limitations of Ryanair. See, the first two flights I had taken were with Ryanair and things were just fine (I hadn't exactly had time to shop when I was in Dublin... tee hee), but from London and Amsterdam, I had flown with normal companies and had not had to worry about crazy baggage restrictions (which was a serious relief considering the adorable, larger purse I bought in London). But this last flight was back to the rule of only one small bag and nothing more - no purses, no jackets on your arm, etc. Originally I thought I could hide my purse under my five layers of sweaters, hoodies and jackets, but when I put everything on, I quickly realized I looked like an extreme version of Quasimodo! >_< This wasn't going to fool anyone...
And so I got in line to board, realizing I had about three minutes to come up with highly clever solution or pay the fine of €75+ and have to check my duffel. I scanned the fellow passengers in line and zeroed in on a guy with a duffel that clearly had a little room in it. Without thinking, I summoned all the ballsiness I had marched right up to the guy and asked, "Excuse me - do you speak English?" The guy, who was around my age, removed his headphones and replied with a bit of confusion, "Yeah..." "Awesome! Do you think I could pay you to try to fit my purse into your bag!?" The guy looked at me slightly incredulously, and then said, "I can try to fit it in here, but I was having the same problem... 'cuz it needs to fit in that box the make you put your box in." Sure enough, my purse fit in his bag perfectly, but when we got to the front of the line, they made him cram his bag in their metallic box to prove it would fit. I told him to run when the lady wasn't looking, but he kept at it. It took him a minute or two, but at last he made it fit and they told him he could board!
We walked a little ways down the hall and then he removed my bag and handed it to me. "Oh my God! You are so badass! Seriously, how much do you want, cuz you just saved me so much money!" He just smiled at me and said, "Oh no - no problem. Ryanair totally tries to screw people out of their money and it's not right. Glad I could help." And just like that, he was off.
Awesome!!!
On the flight home I wrote a reflection blog (which then got lost - rawr), which occupied me all the way until the announcement came on in Spanish (!!!) that we would soon be landing in Madrid. I immediately squealed. The guy sitting next to me stared at me. I hadn't realized how happy I would be to be home until I was ten minutes away!!
When I got off that final plane I did a little jig. I skipped all the way to the metro (a system of public transportation I am familiar with!? BLISS!!). I laid on my bag and didn't give the tiniest crap what anybody thought, because I was back home and I could once again feel free to be me and do as I please. ;) I got to the night but just in time and tralalaed all the way home. And when I turned onto my street and walked up to my front door, I was bursting with excitement. I literally almost shed a tear I was so happy to be back. I really hadn't missed it for a second while I was away, but now that I was back, I was so very, very grateful. <3 When I travel, I travel as an American, so to be able to go home and still be in Europe is an amazing feeling. :)
When I got inside everyone was asleep (by this point it was around 2:00am), but Abby had left me the sweetest welcome home note on my desk! ^_^ It made me feel not so insane to be so excited to be home again. <3
XOXO
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